Oklahoma City's event list.

Ongoing

Always...Patsy Cline (Pollard Theatre - Guthrie) Thru Sat, Jun 30th Get your tickets and head to Guthrie for a very special evening of classic country music and down-home humor when the…
Concerts in the Park (Yukon City Park, Freedom Trail Park & Chisholm Trail Park - Yukon) Thru Thu, Aug 2nd Enjoy free concerts every Thursday during the summer months in Yukon. Concerts in the Park, held in Yukon's Chisholm…

Wednesday, Jun 20th

1889 Summer Camp Sesson 3 (1889 School House - Edmond) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 9:00am 1889 Territorial Schoolhouse, 124 E. 2nd Street $50 per child 9 AM to Noon each day Ages 6 – 12 years. Must have completed kindergarten by the start of camp to register. Your Children will…
Pretend, learn, and play like they’re in the year 1889 Write in pen & ink Spend the day with a real Schoolmarm Dress in 1889 attire Make memories that…
😂 Andy Woodhull (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Jun 23rd
Bike Week Oklahoma (Sparks America Campground - Sparks) Thru Sun, Jun 24th Join the fun with people from all over the nation at Bike Week Oklahoma. Held at Sparks America Campground in Sparks, this…
♪ Carson McHone (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
🎭 Drama Day Camp: Disney's High School Musical, Jr (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 9:00am
🎭 Lion Witch and the Wardrobe (Oklahoma Children's Theatre - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Jun 23rd Start Time: 10:00am Recommended for ages 5+ An old house in rural England becomes the home base for four children who wander into an incredible country through an old wardrobe and help the country return to summer. In the incredible Narnia, they make friends with the frightened forest people who have almost given up hope for the return of good King Aslan, their…
🎭 Lion Witch and the Wardrobe (Oklahoma Children's Theatre - Oklahoma City) Thru Fri, Jun 22nd Start Time: 12:00pm Recommended for ages 5+ An old house in rural England becomes the home base for four children who wander into an incredible country through an old wardrobe and help the country return to summer. In the incredible Narnia, they make friends with the frightened forest people who have almost given up hope for the return of good King Aslan, their…
♪ Live Music- Andy Adams (Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm
A Midsummer Night's Dream (Myriad Gardens Water Stage - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Jun 23rd Pack your picnic basket, grab a seat in the amphitheater and get whisked away to a magical place when the Oklahoma…
🎓 National Baptist Convention Congress of Christian Education (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Thru Fri, Jun 22nd
OKC 50+ Better Living Expo (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Come to the Oklahoma State Fair Park in Oklahoma City for the OKC 50+ Better Living Expo. This one-day event will…
🎓 Oklahoma Connections Academy Hosts Free Family Information Session (Mustang Town Center - Mustang) Start Time: 6:30pm More information: 1-800-382-6010 http://www.connectionsacademy.com/oklahoma-virtual-school/events
Oklahoma Connections Academy, a tuition-free online public school, will host a free information session for families interested in learning about its online program and individualized approach to education. Oklahoma Connections Academy is…
Showtimes (Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am
♪ Touring Americana Acts (Red Brick Bar - Norman) Start Time: 9:00pm About Tough Old Bird: Formed in the small community of Fillmore, New York by songwriting brothers Matthew and Nathan Corrigan, Tough Old Bird plays modern folk music that reflects the landscape it comes from, a place where the last train just pulled out and the carnival is always on its way to the next town.
About The Dirty Rain…
🎓 Understanding and Responding to Dementia-Related Behavior (Edmond Senior Center - Edmond) Start Time: 10:00am Carla Scull, from the Alzheimer's Association, will present a program on learning how to decode behavioral messages, identify common behavior triggers and employ different strategies to alleviate challenging situations.
🏃 (Virtual) Summer Solstice 6.21 Mile (Pioneer Library System - Oklahoma City) The Summer Solstice is the longest day of the year and marks the onset of summer in the northern hemisphere. To celebrate that solstice we are hosting a Summer Solstice 6.21 Mile virtual race!
Wednesday Game Night (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Play the games you love for jackpots and then play more games you love for Extra Cash & Prizes on Game Night at Remington Park, every Wednesday! Starting at 6pm on Wednesday nights at Remington Park, just make sure to use your Club Remington Card as you play in the casino. Doing so may get you selected via hot seat drawings to make Free Spins,…
Western Explorers Summer Camp Preview Day (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Jun 23rd Start Time: 10:00am

Thursday, Jun 21st

1889 Summer Camp Sesson 3 (1889 School House - Edmond) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 9:00am 1889 Territorial Schoolhouse, 124 E. 2nd Street $50 per child 9 AM to Noon each day Ages 6 – 12 years. Must have completed kindergarten by the start of camp to register. Your Children will…
Pretend, learn, and play like they’re in the year 1889 Write in pen & ink Spend the day with a real Schoolmarm Dress in 1889 attire Make memories that…
😂 Andy Woodhull (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Jun 23rd
Bike Week Oklahoma (Sparks America Campground - Sparks) Thru Sun, Jun 24th Join the fun with people from all over the nation at Bike Week Oklahoma. Held at Sparks America Campground in Sparks, this…
🏃 Four Seasons, Four Miles: Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter Virtual Race (Martin Nature Park - Oklahoma City) We want to celebrate the seasons! To do this, we are hosting a Four Seasons, Four Miles series. Each season, we challenge you to run (or walk) four miles to celebrate the current season. We are beginning with Spring and ending with Winter! Each medal will ship just before each season starts. So Spring medals will begin shipping at the end of…
🎭 Lion Witch and the Wardrobe (Oklahoma Children's Theatre - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Jun 23rd Start Time: 10:00am Recommended for ages 5+ An old house in rural England becomes the home base for four children who wander into an incredible country through an old wardrobe and help the country return to summer. In the incredible Narnia, they make friends with the frightened forest people who have almost given up hope for the return of good King Aslan, their…
🎭 Lion Witch and the Wardrobe (Oklahoma Children's Theatre - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 12:00pm Recommended for ages 5+ An old house in rural England becomes the home base for four children who wander into an incredible country through an old wardrobe and help the country return to summer. In the incredible Narnia, they make friends with the frightened forest people who have almost given up hope for the return of good King Aslan, their…
🍴 McAlister's Deli 10th Annual Free Tea Day (McAlister's Deli - Oklahoma City) Visit McAlister’s Deli on its 10thannual Free Tea Day on June 21,where they’ll be giving away all flavors of their Famous Tea served in 32-ounce tea glasses over crystal clear ice with a fresh lemon wedge – no purchase necessary. If you love the idea of ten years of free McAlister’s tea, submit your favorite cheers-worthy moment with the…
Meditation Class (St Stephen's United Methodist - Norman) Start Time: 6:00pm Weekly meditation and discussion group conducted by the monks from Oklahoma Buddhist Vihara.
St. Stephens UMC 6-7pm Look for the shoes.
A Midsummer Night's Dream (Myriad Gardens Water Stage - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Jun 23rd Pack your picnic basket, grab a seat in the amphitheater and get whisked away to a magical place when the Oklahoma…
🎓 National Baptist Convention Congress of Christian Education (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) 1 day left
🎨 Paint it Forward (Pinot's Palette - Norman) Start Time: 6:30pm ABLE Community Based Services (www.okable.org) is raising funds to enable the developmentally disabled adults they serve in the Norman community to compete in Special Olympics Oklahoma's fall bowling. Space is limited, so please reserve your space now!
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Management Support Group (Mental Health Association Oklahoma main office - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm PTSD is a psychiatric disorder that can occur following the experience of witnessing of life-threatening events such as military combat, natural disasters, terrorist incidents, serious accidents, or physical or sexual assault in adult or childhood. Some people will have stress reactions that do not go away on their own, or may even get worse…
The return of Flotsam And Jetsam! (OKC) (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:30pm ***ALL AGES SHOW*** Headliner: Flotsam & Jetsam Special Guest: Arkhon Bag 'o Bones Shame In Nothing (S.I.N.) General Admission $15.00 Day Of: $18.00
🎭 Shrek the Musical (Mitch Park - Edmond) Thru Sat, Jun 23rd Start Time: 8:00pm "Once upon a time, there was a little ogre named Shrek...." And thus begins the tale of an unlikely hero who finds himself on a life-changing journey alongside a wisecracking Donkey and a feisty princess who resists her rescue. Throw in a short-tempered bad guy, a cookie with an attitude and over a dozen other fairy tale misfits, and you've got…
State 4-H Horse Show (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) Thru Sat, Jun 23rd Visit the Lazy E Arena in Guthrie for the annual Oklahoma State 4-H Horse Show. This is the biggest equine event of the year…
🏆 Surf and Turf at The Bricktown Brewery at Remington Park (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 4:00pm
Survivors of Suicide Support Group (Mental Health Association Oklahoma main office - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Nearly 31,000 people take their own lives each year. As a survivor – a family member or friend of the victim – you may need help coming to terms with suicide. This group offers the opportunity to share, listen, teach and learn with others also overcoming the loss of a loved one. Meetings are held on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month.
♪ Third Thursday: Strike a Pose at OKCMOA (Oklahoma City Museum of Art - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:00pm Join us for OKCMOA’s monthly celebration of art, drinks, and live music during Third Thursday: Strike a Pose. Strike a Pose will celebrate all things fashion, PRIDE month, and the special exhibition Isabelle de Borchgrave: Fashioning Art from Paper. Don’t forget to dress your best and walk the red carpet in the Museum lobby. Local creatives…
Western Explorers Summer Camp Preview Day (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Jun 23rd Start Time: 10:00am

Friday, Jun 22nd

😂 Andy Woodhull (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) 1 day left
Bike Week Oklahoma (Sparks America Campground - Sparks) Thru Sun, Jun 24th Join the fun with people from all over the nation at Bike Week Oklahoma. Held at Sparks America Campground in Sparks, this…
🎭 CHRIS DELIA: FOLLOW THE LEADER 2018 TOUR (Rose State College Hudiburg Chevrolet Center - Midwest City) Start Time: 7:00pm Comedian Chris D'Elia has been perfecting his stand-up routine for more than a decade. Well-known for his roles in…
♪ Derek Harris Duo (Newcastle Casino - Newcastle) Start Time: 8:00pm Derek Harris Duo has been a local favorite for years, playing a wide-range of acoustic ballads from Ray LaMontagne to more upbeat tunes of Bob Marley.
🏃 HOT Friday Night 5K (Wheeler Park - Oklahoma City)
♪ I Love The 90's Tour (Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm If you're a fan of '90s music, then this is the show for you. I Love the '90s Tour will include performances…
🎭 Lion Witch and the Wardrobe (Oklahoma Children's Theatre - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 10:00am Recommended for ages 5+ An old house in rural England becomes the home base for four children who wander into an incredible country through an old wardrobe and help the country return to summer. In the incredible Narnia, they make friends with the frightened forest people who have almost given up hope for the return of good King Aslan, their…
🎭 Lion Witch and the Wardrobe (Oklahoma Children's Theatre - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 12:00pm Recommended for ages 5+ An old house in rural England becomes the home base for four children who wander into an incredible country through an old wardrobe and help the country return to summer. In the incredible Narnia, they make friends with the frightened forest people who have almost given up hope for the return of good King Aslan, their…
A Midsummer Night's Dream (Myriad Gardens Water Stage - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Pack your picnic basket, grab a seat in the amphitheater and get whisked away to a magical place when the Oklahoma…
🎓 National Baptist Convention Congress of Christian Education (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Last Day
Oklahoma Gay Pride Festival & Parade (Film Row - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jun 24th Enjoy a variety of gay pride festivities in Oklahoma City at the annual Oklahoma City Gay Pride Festival & Parade. …
River Tour (Narrated) (Oklahoma River Cruises - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 6:00pm Escape the Ordinary, learn about OKC from a different point of view. Relax in the climate controlled cabin on one of our 65’ cruisers, or enjoy the breeze on the viewing deck and listen to the guided commentary while you enjoy a drink from the bar. Indulgence and relaxation aren’t the only purpose of this cruise. During the tour you’ll…
Meeker Round Up Club Open Rodeo (Running R Arena - Meeker) Day 1 of 2 Enjoy the excitement of the Meeker Round Up Club Rodeo featuring typical rodeo events such as bull riding, barrel racing,…
🎭 Shrek the Musical (Mitch Park - Edmond) 1 day left Start Time: 8:00pm "Once upon a time, there was a little ogre named Shrek...." And thus begins the tale of an unlikely hero who finds himself on a life-changing journey alongside a wisecracking Donkey and a feisty princess who resists her rescue. Throw in a short-tempered bad guy, a cookie with an attitude and over a dozen other fairy tale misfits, and you've got…
SoonerCon (Reed Conference Center - Midwest City) Thru Sun, Jun 24th The Oklahoma City metro’s annual SoonerCon is a celebration of speculative fiction art, literature, geek pop culture…
State 4-H Horse Show (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) 1 day left Visit the Lazy E Arena in Guthrie for the annual Oklahoma State 4-H Horse Show. This is the biggest equine event of the year…
Travis Linville (Listen Local - Chickasha) Start Time: 7:30pm Gather your family, load up the picnic basket and head to the University of Science and Arts Oklahoma in Chickasha for an…
♪ Uncle Zep At VZD's! (VZD's - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:30pm
USA Softball Men’s Masters Fast Pitch National Championship (USA Softball Hall of Fame Complex - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jun 24th The USA Softball welcomes teams competing in the Men’s 40 & Over and Men's 50 & Over Fast Pitch divisions,…
🏃 (Virtual) Flamingo Day 5K (Pioneer Library System - Oklahoma City) Did you know that June 23rd is Pink Flamingo Day? We are celebrating with our first annual Flamingo Day 5K! Let’s run (or walk) for the FLAMINGOS! June is also PTSD Awareness Month. Participate in our race and help us raise awareness for PTSD! At least 15% of every registration to Active Heroes.
Western Explorers Summer Camp Preview Day (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 10:00am
Wheeler Summer Music Series (Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Gather under the Wheeler Ferris Wheel lights as local bands take the stage this summer. Make plans to attend the Wheeler…
♪ Wild’s Birthday Bash (Lost Lakes Amphitheater - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 12:00pm
♪ Yellow House Revisited: Song Swap with Jason Boland, Cody Canada, and Mike McClure (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Get your tickets for an evening of singesongwriter Red Dirt magic when the Yellow House Revisited Song Swap sets up at…

Saturday, Jun 23rd

Americana Fest (American Banjo Museum - Oklahoma City) Celebrate summer during Americana Fest at the American Banjo Museum in Oklahoma City. Head to the heart of Bricktown…
😂 Andy Woodhull (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Last Day
Bike Week Oklahoma (Sparks America Campground - Sparks) 1 day left Join the fun with people from all over the nation at Bike Week Oklahoma. Held at Sparks America Campground in Sparks, this…
♪ The Centennial Rodeo Opry (Rodeo Opry - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Adults - $15.00 Children 7 -12 years - $7.50 Children 6 years & younger - FREE *Call box office for military discounts and ADA seating
Conquer the Gauntlet Obstacle Race (John Nichols Scout Ranch - Mustang) Conquer the Gauntlet is an insanely fun four mile obstacle course and adventure race that features over 25 obstacles. This…
Edmond Farmer's Market (Othello's - Edmond) Start Time: 8:00am
🏃 Foam Glow (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Foam Glow 5K™ is a fun filled experience exposing runners to Glowing Foam and a ton of Blacklights all over the course. Glowing runners come from all different ages, shapes, sizes, and speeds. Whether you are a long term runner or a walk around the park stroller, the 3 miles of the Foam Glow 5K™ course will have you shining bright and…
Ginuwine in Concert (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Get your tickets and head to the Tower Theatre in OKC for a night of smooth R&B when Ginuwine takes over the historic…
♪ Have Mercy - The Earth Pushed Back Tour (Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm
Kellie Pickler in Concert (Grand Casino Hotel & Resort - Shawnee) Catch a live set by Kellie Pickler as she pays a visit to Grand Casino Hotel & Resort in Shawnee. Best-known for her…
Knights Auto Club Car Show (Boy Scout Park - Shawnee) Get ready for the revving of engines and car-centric camaraderie as the annual Knights Auto Club Car Show roars into…
LibertyFest (Citywide - Edmond) Thru Wed, Jul 4th Named by CNN and USA Today as one of the top ten July 4th festivals in the United States, LibertyFest in Edmond has…
🎭 Lion Witch and the Wardrobe (Oklahoma Children's Theatre - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 10:00am Recommended for ages 5+ An old house in rural England becomes the home base for four children who wander into an incredible country through an old wardrobe and help the country return to summer. In the incredible Narnia, they make friends with the frightened forest people who have almost given up hope for the return of good King Aslan, their…
A Midsummer Night's Dream (Myriad Gardens Water Stage - Oklahoma City) Last Day Pack your picnic basket, grab a seat in the amphitheater and get whisked away to a magical place when the Oklahoma…
NRHA Derby (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jul 1st Experience a fierce Western riding competition, featuring riders guiding elite horses through a precise pattern of…
OKC Energy FC vs LA Galaxy II (Taft Stadium - Oklahoma City) Experience the excitement of major league soccer in Oklahoma as the Oklahoma City Energy Football Club takes on LA Galaxy II…
Oklahoma Gay Pride Festival & Parade (Film Row - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Enjoy a variety of gay pride festivities in Oklahoma City at the annual Oklahoma City Gay Pride Festival & Parade. …
Oklahoma Senior Follies Show (OCCC Visual and Performing Arts Center - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Oklahoma's greatest senior talents will take the stage for the Oklahoma Senior Follies Show. Pick up tickets to this…
River Tour (Narrated) (Oklahoma River Cruises - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 6:00pm Escape the Ordinary, learn about OKC from a different point of view. Relax in the climate controlled cabin on one of our 65’ cruisers, or enjoy the breeze on the viewing deck and listen to the guided commentary while you enjoy a drink from the bar. Indulgence and relaxation aren’t the only purpose of this cruise. During the tour you’ll…
Meeker Round Up Club Open Rodeo (Running R Arena - Meeker) Day 2 of 2 Enjoy the excitement of the Meeker Round Up Club Rodeo featuring typical rodeo events such as bull riding, barrel racing,…
Rumble in the Alley: Weekend Roller Derby Extravaganza (Cleveland County Family YMCA - Norman) Day 1 of 2 Catch the buzz as the Oklahoma Victory Dolls present Rumble in the Alley, a two-day division 2 roller derby extravaganza.…
🏆 Rumble in the Alley: Weekend Roller Derby Extravaganza! (Cleveland County Family YMCA - Norman) Start Time: 9:00am The Oklahoma Victory Dolls are proud to present the first annual Rumble in the Alley, a two-day division 2 roller derby extravaganza!
Eight teams from five leagues around the country will converge in a two-day competition of the highest level derby you will find in the state of Oklahoma:
Oklahoma Victory Dolls All-Stars Oklahoma Victory Dolls…
🎭 Shrek the Musical (Mitch Park - Edmond) Last Day Start Time: 8:00pm "Once upon a time, there was a little ogre named Shrek...." And thus begins the tale of an unlikely hero who finds himself on a life-changing journey alongside a wisecracking Donkey and a feisty princess who resists her rescue. Throw in a short-tempered bad guy, a cookie with an attitude and over a dozen other fairy tale misfits, and you've got…
SoonerCon (Reed Conference Center - Midwest City) 1 day left The Oklahoma City metro’s annual SoonerCon is a celebration of speculative fiction art, literature, geek pop culture…
Stars & Stripes River Festival (Boathouse District - Oklahoma City) Join family and friends at the Stars & Stripes River Festival in Oklahoma City for a full day of river sports, games and…
State 4-H Horse Show (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) Last Day Visit the Lazy E Arena in Guthrie for the annual Oklahoma State 4-H Horse Show. This is the biggest equine event of the year…
🏃 Stop The Violence Bands on the Run (Stars & Stripes Park - Oklahoma City) Join us for more bands, more fun, and an amazing run along the beautiful Lake Hefner Trails of Oklahoma City! Race proceeds benefit Stop the Violence mission to bring awareness and resources to aid in the prevention of and intervention of violence through education.
USA Softball Men’s Masters Fast Pitch National Championship (USA Softball Hall of Fame Complex - Oklahoma City) 1 day left The USA Softball welcomes teams competing in the Men’s 40 & Over and Men's 50 & Over Fast Pitch divisions,…
Western Explorers Summer Camp Preview Day (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 10:00am

Sunday, Jun 24th

Bike Week Oklahoma (Sparks America Campground - Sparks) Last Day Join the fun with people from all over the nation at Bike Week Oklahoma. Held at Sparks America Campground in Sparks, this…
LibertyFest (Citywide - Edmond) Thru Wed, Jul 4th Named by CNN and USA Today as one of the top ten July 4th festivals in the United States, LibertyFest in Edmond has…
NRHA Derby (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jul 1st Experience a fierce Western riding competition, featuring riders guiding elite horses through a precise pattern of…
Oklahoma Gay Pride Festival & Parade (Film Row - Oklahoma City) Last Day Enjoy a variety of gay pride festivities in Oklahoma City at the annual Oklahoma City Gay Pride Festival & Parade. …
Oklahoma Senior Follies Show (OCCC Visual and Performing Arts Center - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Oklahoma's greatest senior talents will take the stage for the Oklahoma Senior Follies Show. Pick up tickets to this…
Rumble in the Alley: Weekend Roller Derby Extravaganza (Cleveland County Family YMCA - Norman) Day 2 of 2 Catch the buzz as the Oklahoma Victory Dolls present Rumble in the Alley, a two-day division 2 roller derby extravaganza.…
Secrets in Concert (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Secrets switches between melodic clean vocals and heavy growls, delivering fast-paced guitar riffs and drum beats to the…
SoonerCon (Reed Conference Center - Midwest City) Last Day The Oklahoma City metro’s annual SoonerCon is a celebration of speculative fiction art, literature, geek pop culture…
Sunday Twilight Concert Series (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Bring a lawn chair, a picnic and the whole family to the Sunday Twilight Concert Series on the Myriad Gardens…
USA Softball Men’s Masters Fast Pitch National Championship (USA Softball Hall of Fame Complex - Oklahoma City) Last Day The USA Softball welcomes teams competing in the Men’s 40 & Over and Men's 50 & Over Fast Pitch divisions,…
- wellRED: from Dixie With Love Comedy Tour (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Join The Liberal Redneck himself, Trae Crowder along with friends Drew Morgan and Corey Ryan Forrester for an evening of…

Monday, Jun 25th

🏆 Oklahoma City Dodgers vs. Nashville Sounds (Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark - Oklahoma City) Thru Thu, Jun 28th Start Time: 7:05pm Adding a second game to this date.
Existing game tickets for 6/26 will get purchaser into both games on this date.
Game 1 will start at 3:35pm, second game to start 30 minutes after the conclusion of the first game.
This game is a result of a rainout in Oklahoma City on June 2, 2016 vs Iowa.
LibertyFest (Citywide - Edmond) Thru Wed, Jul 4th Named by CNN and USA Today as one of the top ten July 4th festivals in the United States, LibertyFest in Edmond has…
NRHA Derby (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jul 1st Experience a fierce Western riding competition, featuring riders guiding elite horses through a precise pattern of…
Oklahoma Civil War Symposium (Te Ata Memorial Auditorium - Chickasha) History buffs won't want to miss the Oklahoma Civil War Symposium at the University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma.…

Tuesday, Jun 26th

VOTE
Disney's Freaky Friday (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jul 1st Disney's Freaky Friday is coming to the Lyric Theatre. This delightfully entertaining musical will follow the lives of…
🏆 Oklahoma City Dodgers vs. Nashville Sounds (Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark - Oklahoma City) Thru Thu, Jun 28th Start Time: 7:05pm Adding a second game to this date.
Existing game tickets for 6/26 will get purchaser into both games on this date.
Game 1 will start at 3:35pm, second game to start 30 minutes after the conclusion of the first game.
This game is a result of a rainout in Oklahoma City on June 2, 2016 vs Iowa.
Food Truck Tuesdays (Jackson - Blanchard) Every week, treat your taste buds to new flavors. During Food Truck Tuesdays, a different food truck will park in Blanchard…
LibertyFest (Citywide - Edmond) Thru Wed, Jul 4th Named by CNN and USA Today as one of the top ten July 4th festivals in the United States, LibertyFest in Edmond has…
NRHA Derby (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jul 1st Experience a fierce Western riding competition, featuring riders guiding elite horses through a precise pattern of…
Wheeler Criterium (Oklahoma City) Once the weather starts warming up, gather your crew and head south of the Oklahoma River for the Wheeler Criterium each and…

They Gather at the North Side
I am a lucky man.
Pa always said that there’s no such thing as luck. Luck is just your hard work finally payin’ off. People like us, the ones who think we’re lucky, we just don’t connect our past actions to our future successes. Sure you could roll the dice down at Geno’s and get a 4-5-6 and scoop the whole damn pot up in one go. Winnin’ those twenty bucks over and over again would be luck. But then when the boys down at Geno’s don’t want you coming around no more, and Geno is selling you all the sliver slices of the pie for a buck twenty still, you feel downright unlucky.
I got my own brand of luck goin’ on at Geno’s. They call me Unlucky Lonny Pickett because I roll nothing but duds, 3-5-6 or 1-4-2. I lose a quarter here and a buck there, but I got them boys down right endeared to me. Pa always called that ‘making connections’. Ma called it networkin’, whatever the hell that means.
So anyways, I keep on losin’ and losin’ and Geno and the boys keep feelin’ sorry for poor ol’ Lonny Pickett. All of a sudden I’m gettin’ the biggest slices, and Geno gives me the ‘friends’ discount of ten whole percents off. The boys too, swell fellas to the last, start spreadin’ word that ol’ Lonny Pickett needs to make a few more greenbacks because they want that good ol’ boy to keep comin’ round and rollin’ the dice with them. I agree with them. My truck is rustier than the abandoned metal works downtown. It needs an oil change and a few new brake pads from Meineke, too. I got me a dog, a hell of a mutt I might add, goes by the name of Chester. Poor Chester’s got to eat, I says. They say, “Let me see what I can do for ya Lonny.”
It went like that for a few years. They’d get me a job here and a job there. Paintin’ houses, layin’ copper wire, mowin’ laws and plowin’ driveways. Real small time shit that I’m more than happy to do. I thought that would be my life, so damned if I’ve ever been more surprised in my life when I got that lucky phone call.
“Hey Lonny?” the voice had said on the other line.
“Oh yeah how ya doin’ Jeb?” Jebediah was a good man who sometimes came by Geno’s on poker night. I did some weather panelin’ for him on his new home a few months ago.
“Lonny I got me some good news for you. You ready for this because I think you gotta be sitting down when you hear it.” I sat down and nodded. He must have seen it through the phone ‘cus the old boy didn’t wait a tick before speakin’ again.
“I got you a whole farm, me and the boys pitched in. Even Geno kicked in a quarter.”
A whole quarter from Geno? “What do ya mean you got me a whole farm? Ain’t no farms here in town. Ain’t no way I could afford one acre neither.”
Jebediah laughed. I hate it when people get the giggles on the phone, the lines never make it seem real. Canned laughter, they call it on the TV. “I know how hard you’re having it right now Lonny. We all do. You got some good pals, man. We’ve been saving up a little bit of what you’ve been losing over the years playing the dice. We had a whole bundle put away so Patrick went down to the police auction - and you know Sullivan right?”
“Course I know Sullivan. Bastards been puttin’ me in the drunk tank every night for a year now. Says the law won’t let me drive after havin’ a few no more, which I think is bullshit if you ask me.”
“Ya well I’d cozy right up to the copper because the old salt did you a right favor. Two acres, Lonny, a ways up Mill Street. Cost us only two Benjamin Franklins.” I had paused for a bit when he said it, tryin’ to think over the words that I heard through the phone. Did this son of a gun just say that I’m gettin’ myself two whole acres and I ain’t gotta do nothing for it?
“You son of a gun, did you really get me two whole acres and I ain’t gotta do nothing for it?” I said. I say a lot of things that I think. There ain’t enough time in the day to have your mouth and brain battlin’ over every word.
“We did Lonny. Thank Patrick and Geno and Sullivan and the rest. You’re gonna have to work your butt to the bone but you’ll be swimming in green soon enough. Governments been buying crops from all the farmers ‘round here for years now. You don’t even gotta sell the shit you grow, just give it to Uncle Sam and he’ll do the rest.”
“Why’d it only cost a cool two hundred, Jeb? What’s the deal there? That lands worth probably a hundred times as much.”
“They couldn’t sell it Lonny. It’s been in the police auction for years and years. Patrick haggled Sullivan down, told him to just get it off his damn books already instead of trying to force it on some poor sod for twenty thousand buckaroonies.”
“Why was it on the police auction though?”
There was silence for a bit until Jeb cleared his throat, “Last owner got killed there. And don’t worry, it ain’t no haunted farm house. The old boy died out in the field. They say he was feverish, wandered out into the woods, and some wolves got to him. It was family land, the Plunketts, I think the name was. Don’t know much more than that other than that the last Plunkett probably should have brought a gun with him before doing a foolish thing like fighting off wolves in the middle of a downpour. Wolves don’t even eat crops.”
“Ya, silly bastard. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph I don’t know what to say Jeb.”
“Ain’t gotta say nothing, Lonny. All you gotta do is pay us back some day and we’ll be roses.”
I hung up the phone, thinkin’ to myself if it was either networkin’, makin’ good connections with the right people, or just good ol’ fashioned luck that just got me the opportunity of my life. I think it was a little bit of all three.
Anyways, that’s how the call went back in February. It was high summer now, perfect growin’ season, and my crops were gonna come in nice and good. Sweet corn, wheat, pumpkins, squashes, cabbages. I figured that instead of growin’ one thing I’d spread out and see what took. At least for this first year.
My Pa was a farmer. Didn’t own one, but he worked the land like he did. I think that’s where I got my green thumb. I could always grow somethin’ to be fat and juicy. My own belly would win me first prize at the county fair if I entered myself in the livestock competition. Even Chester would get me a good price at the butchers.
Chester’s been havin’ a ball. The mutt mostly has bloodhound in his veins, but I think he’s definitely got some wolf in there too. He was dyin’ in town. Dyin’ to get back out to the wild. He took off like a bat out of hell the second I let him out of my piece of shit Chevy the first day that I took up residence on the far end of Mill Street. Damn thing took a whole lap around my acres, two or three times, livin’ as high as a kite caught in an updraft. Saw him chase a pack of deer off the north side of the field too, barkin’ and spittin’ at them until they took their little white tails between their legs and bolted into the woods. That was good, in a ways. Deer like to eat crops, but I don’t want Chester killin’ the poor things. I was never one to hurt animals. If they want to help themselves to a cabbage or two, I’ll oblige mother nature. I’ll start keepin’ Chester on a leash if he’s gettin’ too violent with them deer.
Days were now full of toilin’ and hard work. I was used to laborin’ but not like this. See if I’m helpin’ Jeb put up panelin’ or shovelin’ Mrs. Hutchinson’s driveway, sweet little blue-haired gal by the way, I get myself some smoke breaks and good ol’ fashioned American break time. When a man’s back is sore and his brain is a thumpin’, he’s got the right to take a rest after a good two hours of work. Ain’t no break time out here in the field, tho. Pa taught me that. Says there used to be an ant and a grasshopper. Ant worked hard all summer while the grasshopper sat on his butt. Winter comes around and the grasshopper freezes to death, hungrier than a coonhound before a fox hunt. Ant is peachy clean, enjoyin’ the fruit of his labors down in his little anthole. Be the ant, my Pa said, so now I am. I ain’t gonna be hungry this winter after Uncle Sam buys up all this corn for five cents more than market price.
I knew the work would be hard. I knew I’d have to borrow and beg to get myself a good tiller, maybe hire a few of them lazy local boys to break the dirt for a dollar or two an hour. Patrick and Jeb and Stu and the rest of the boys came ‘round to help me fix up the house - a nice little three room shack that’s much too big for just me - and they even helped clean up the barn - an old leanin’ and musty place full of spiders and moths. Little by little the place came together. Some of the other farmers even stopped by to gawk and whistle.
“Well dang I never thought to see the Plunkett’s place all lit up at night like that again,” said one of em. He was a bearded fella that looked like the stereotypical Iowa farmer. He was even chewin’ on a piece of wheat stalk when he said it.
“Why do you say a thing like that?” I asked him kindly enough. “It’s a honey pot,” he replied. “Lands fertile, stronger and richer than any dirt ‘round here. The Plunketts supported a whole family for three generations on just two acres. They could grow cabbages as big as your head during dry seasons.”
“Honey pot?” I says.
“Yeah, yknow, a honey pot. Flies smell the honey and get themselves all stuck in there. Then you just close the lid and they’re trapped.” “What do ya mean trapped? Does this place got spooks or somethin’?” I asked in a panic, starin’ at that barn. I never liked that barn. It was too scary to go in at night and I kept Chester close when I had to go pokin’ around in there during the day.
“Lords no. Ghosts ain’t real. Shoot, everyone knows that. The lands cursed tho.” He opened his hands and started tickin’ off his fingers as he told me the family history, “One of the Plunkett boys met his maker by hitting another Plunkett boy’s truck during a nasty rainstorm a while back. That other boy caught a fever walkin’ back in the rain and never got better. They had a girl when I was just a little fella who fell down a sewage pipe. They found her a few months later. Their Grandpa, the original owner of this here land, was said to be the last casualty of William McKinley’s war in Cuba. The very last one. Got shot by a Spanish national right before the ceasefire was called. They had another boy go off to ‘Nam and get shot in the back by his own squad over a false alarm. Plunkett clan was dwindling one at a time until it was just Robert Plunkett. He went missing ten years ago, said that he just walked right off into the woods and never came back. I ain’t calling that unlucky, but you notice a pattern here.”
“Well I ain’t nothin’ but luck,” I said beaming. “Cept down at Geno’s, but dice don’t count. I’m the luckiest summofabitch ‘round these parts. I got me a big ol’ farm that my friends bought for me, a good mutt, and my health.” I patted my belly which was gettin’ rather thin at this point. Sweatin’ through the summer gettin’ the place ready for winter saw to that. “Only thing keepin’ me from being the luckiest man in all of Iowa is a lady friend.”
“Well shoot, shoulda said so earlier,” said the farmer warmly. “I got’s me a cousin... or niece... I don’t know what to call that particular branch of the family tree when it’s your cousin’s daughter. But anyway, she’s a sweet gal. I’ll send her by sometime.” “Thank you kindly, I do appreciate it, I do.”
And that’s the story of how I got this fine young thing sittin’ next to me at supper now. Her name is Courtney, a city girl name, but she was all country. She ain’t the prettiest I ever saw, got a face that looks like someone took a tiller to it. But she’s a good woman with a flat belly, a round caboose and a set of milk jugs that could keep a baby cow fed and happy. Took to Chester right away too. Biggest surprise ‘bout the whole thing is Courtney’s twice the farm hand I am. She got the rusty tractor smokin’ and rumblin’ after workin’ on it for only a day. That night, she cooked me up a whole tray of cheddar biscuits with some homemade white gravy and chip steak stewed in onions. Woo-wee, was I the luckiest man in the whole damn state. The courtin’ was peculiar. City folk take their dates ‘round to movies and such. I was thinkin’ about takin’ Courtney to see one once, but the drive-in only had “The Towering Inferno” and I was hopin’ to see “The Longest Yard” since it had Mr. Burt Reynolds playing God’s game, football. So the dates never happened, but Courtney was fine with that. We spent the nights out on the porch like an old married couple instead, forgettin’ the fact that I was now on the wrong side of thirty and my woman was barely twenty-five. It was one of those nights in late August, with a summer storm ragin’ and Courtney bundled up all close to me, when I realized I got myself the beginnings of a family. Never thought I’d have one of those. I thought I’d live and die as a vagabond. I proposed to her the next night usin’ a shiny piece of chicken wire as a ring.
She said yes. I was the luckiest man in America.
A week later she told me she had a bun in the oven. I said “Sounds tasty” and nearly walked away without realizin’ she meant a baby, not a loaf of bread that she was bakin’ up for me. I rushed to Courtney and kissed her all over, huggin’ her tight and smellin’ her hair. I never wanted to let go.
That was the last day I was happy.
See there’s some things you forget about when you’re gettin’ a farm up and runnin’. It was all peaches and roses when I was plantin’ the seeds, but now I needed ‘em to grow up. They became my babies, every last stalk of corn, every head of cabbage. I was worried ‘bout ‘em. So I was right to be furious when I saw the deer munchin’ on them in early September. Poor things were probably hungrier than the wolves chasin’ em, and they wouldn’t be comin’ round my farm unless they were desperate. It made me feel bad when Chester chased them away hollerin’ and snappin’ at their heels. But, it was necessary. I decided to put a bag of chicken feed out in the woods, thinkin’ that that might stop them from eatin’ up all my corn.
It didn’t work. Next day I roll out of bed and found that Courtney was already up. I come out of our bedroom to the smell of pork belly crispin’ up in the fryin’ pan.
“Woo-wee that’s smellin’ mighty fine,” I said to her, kissin’ her neck and touchin’ her belly. “How can I be so lucky to wake up to a smell like that?”
“Sure you keep thinking you’re lucky Lonny,” she says to me, “but them deer out there say otherwise. You best be shooing them along before they do anymore damage.”
Well if I wasn’t tee’d off before now I was spittin’ fire. I slammed open our back door and lo and behold there were four of ‘em goin’ to town on my cabbages. The greens were growin’ mighty but ain’t nobody would buy a half chewed cabbage, not even the government. I ran out in my skivvies screamin’ sweet Jesus at them but they didn’t even budge. It’s like they weren’t afraid of humans no more. Chester came flyin’ out of the house and chased them deer so far away that he didn’t come back for a whole hour. But, when he did, he seemed hurt. I was worried sick ‘bout him but me and Courtney checked him all over and couldn’t find a scratch. He limped around just the same and slept the rest of the day in the barn.
It went like that for a week. Dang things were more darin’ than James Bond goin’ into Goldfinger’s casino. I’m pullin’ my hair out at this point picturin’ all that cash they were eatin’. Courtney was all jokes the first few times, tellin’ me I should put up a scarecrow, like that would work on deer, but now she’s all worried too. Says that if the crops fail then that’s it. There wouldn’t be no food on the table and no cash in my pockets. I’d have to go back doin’ odd jobs all over town, which I wouldn’t mind much, but damnit I’m gonna be a father soon and I got to be responsible.
So I bought a gun.
I mean I ain’t ever gonna use the thing on one of them poor dumb animals, but maybe if I fire near them they’ll get the hint. Deer are supposed to be scared of the man’s boomstick. It should be ingrained in their instincts by now. And I won’t keep it in the house neither. My Pa taught me that… when he got killed by his own hand gun back in ‘64.
I was nineteen then, just leavin’ home for the first time. A fledgling that got shoved out of the nest, more like it. Only when I brushed myself off and flew back to the nest, it wasn’t there no more. See I was out workin’ two towns over, puttin up a retainer wall in this ditch they were diggin’ by highway 35 when I heard the news. Two burglars got into my parent’s house, and when they were rootin’ around tryin’ to find anythin’ of worth in my Pa’s shack, my Pa comes burstin’ out of the bedroom like the Devil himself. He was wavin’ his gun like a big shot when they rushed him. Durin’ the tussle one of em got a hold of his Colt and blasted a basketball sized hole through my Pa’s chest. That’s how it happened accordin’ to Ma.
She passed from a broken heart not two years later. Since then it’s just been me, Ol’ Lucky Lonny Pickett. Swore to myself that I’d never touch a Colt or any other pistol, so I got me a rifle instead. Thirty aught six with a walnut handle. Got it real cheap from McElroy cus he knows how hard I’m havin’ it down on the far end of Mill Street. Says I can pay him back when spring comes, and I ain’t no welsher, so I ain’t lettin’ those deer eat my cash source.
Courtney’s been laughin’ at me since I brought it home. “Boy whatcha gonna kill with that thing?” or “Chester better watch out cus you’re more likely to shoot him by mistake then hit a deer on purpose.”. I ain’t so bemused by it so I started shootin’ at cans to get my aim straight. I shot at different times in the day and night so I could get used to it. My eyesight is keen and I got a dead eye shot, but I dunno if I can even shoot one of them little guys. Bambi keeps rollin’ through my mind whenever I see them millin’ around. I just don’t got it in me.
My routine changed. Now I’m wakin’ up an hour before sunrise and stayin’ out well past twilight waitin’ for these suckers to show up. I missed them one day, they probably came by in the dead of night, and I woke up to seein’ half my cornstalks all trampled over and picked at. Damn things. I’ll have to start keepin’ Chester outside. It’s gettin’ cold now but he don’t mind one bit, and it’ll only be til harvest comes ‘round in October.
So I did, and that very night Chester is clawin’ at the door and howlin’ bloody murder. I wake up and the bedside clock says it’s 3:30 in the got dang mornin’. Cowardly mutt. I grab my rifle and swing the door open and Chester bolts in like brown lightning. I look outside and what do I see but a doe and her fawns chewin’ up my cabbages on the north side of the field. Must be the glint of the moon doin’ somethin’ weird with the light cus them deer’s eyes were red. Red like blood. I swore one of em snarled at me when I started yellin’ at em. Chester comes slinkin’ out of the bedroom with Courtney closin’ the door complain’ about beauty rest. His furs on end and he’s doin’ that growlin’ that dogs do when they ain’t sure if they can take on what they’re growlin’ at.
The deer weren’t movin’ so I went out hootin’ at em trying to scare em away. They didn’t budge. Damned critters. Deer are supposed to be scared of humans, not the other way around. But somethin’ about them, the way they were lazily chewin’ up my crops while starin’ right at me, it got to me. Made me awfully frightened. A frightened man with a gun does terrible things.
I raised the thirty aught six and took aim at the mother. My hands were shakin’ fierce and I don’t think it was the coldness of the night. I felt like I was on a safari and I was shootin’ at a lion chargin’ at me. Somethin’ deep down inside told me that these deer were more dangerous than any lion protectin’ his pride. The sight was right on the mother. I held my breath and squeezed the trigger, but at the last moment my ol’ soft heart kicked in and I pulled the gun down. The muzzle flashed with a bang that scared the Jesus out of me. The deer scattered quick as that. Well most of em did. Courtney, wonderin’ what the noise was and where the hell I was, found me a few minutes later. I was cryin’, face red as a beet. In my arms were one of the little ones.
I shot a fawn.
I couldn’t sleep that night. Bambi don’t start with Bambi gettin’ offed by a dumb leatherneck. They take your hunting license away for that shit. The least I could do was go into that barn and find me a rusted shovel. Took me most of the night to crack through the dirt that I never bothered tillin’ and make a hole big enough for the little guy. The sun was comin’ up when I was done and I couldn’t be more thankful for it. Cus all through that night I saw those eyes. Hundreds of em, it seemed like. They were all staring at me from the woods. Just nothin’ but pairs upon pairs of those red, bloodshot eyes. A week went by and no deer showed their faces around my property. I thought I finally had em licked but I knew better. Chester wouldn’t sleep outside no more, and when I forced him out there, the dang mutt would claw at my door for half the night before hidin’ inside the barn. Courtney says he must have tangled with somethin’ awfully big or somethin’ that scared the baby Jesus out of him cus no bloodhound would ever hate bein’ outside.
Damndest thing started happenin’ too. I buried that fawn on the north side of the field by the cabbages. There was somethin’ about that spot, a miasma, I think they call it. I got me a chill whenever I walked over there. The crops were dyin’ around that spot. It’s like they were just shrivelin’ up and fallin’ over. The bushes and undergrowth were all turnin’ white too, like they just got hit by a fresh snowfall. On a whim I tried to pull Chester over there and he nearly bit me when I was walkin’ him close to the spot. I decided to show some respect, so I made a cross with the name Bambi scrawled on it. Stuck it right above the fawn’s grave. I think that might help break the curse, cus that’s what I feel like is happenin’ here. I cursed my already cursed land when I shot that baby deer.
Tomorrow is harvest day. What crops the deer didn’t get to came in mighty fine. Courtney added it all up with the help of that nice farmer she’s second cousins with. Says that altogether the government would pay me enough money to keep this place runnin’ permanently. I’m tryin’ to be happy about it, I should be happy about it cus that’s more money than a lifetime of shovelin’ driveways, but I just can’t shake that awful feelin’.
You know that feelin’ you get when you’re bein’ watched? Now picture a thousand people watchin’ you, that’s what I got goin’ on in my gut right now.
It’s midnight and I can’t go to bed. Courtney is in there snorin’ like a lawnmower but I’m out on the porch with my rifle and my dog and a big ol’ cup of joe. I’ll be awfully tired for harvest day tomorrow, but I ain’t gonna risk those deer comin’ back and eatin’ up all my crops as a last minute act of revenge.
I fingered the rifle nervously, checkin’ the barrell to see if it’s still loaded like the last six times I checked. I got me enough ammunition to down a hundred of ‘em, but I don’t think that would be enough by a long shot. The wind keeps pickin’ up and blowin’ these icy strands through my body. Chester is shakin’ next to me, but I don’t think it’s the cold. I feel it too. It ain’t the cold. It’s somethin’ else… like a presence was around me.
Then they started to emerge. First only one, a buck that couldn’t be older than four years. It sniffed around the north side of the field, where I got Bambi buried, and bleated long and loud. That bleatin’ went on forever, like a war horn callin’ the army to action. I am far beyond perturbed at that. One of those fight or flight instincts started bubblin’ in my belly and I decided this is it.
I got up from my chair and started inchin’ towards that bleatin’ son of a bitch. Chester found some courage and got to my side, growlin’ low at the buck. It saw us comin’ and started bleatin’ right at me, like it was yellin’ at me or somethin’. Accusin’ me or somethin’. “I’m sorry,” I said, takin’ a few more steps forward. I was almost at the grave. “I didn’t mean to. Its mama was eatin’ my crops and I missed. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
But the deer kept on bleatin’ at me so I took aim. One shot would scare it away. I put my sights well above the buck to the treeline behind him when I saw it. Those eyes. All those eyes. Little pairs of red lights as far as I could see watchin’ me from the woods. I froze. Chester started barkin’ like a rabid dog. The deer kept on bleatin’ and now more were leavin’ the woods. A mighty stag, must be a ten pointer, came bowlin’ out all snortin’ and red eyed. More followed him. Does, bucks, fawns, yearlings and younglings. They came out like the Devil’s army. I cursed to myself, rememberin’ that I left all the ammo up on the porch.
The stag was indignant as all hell. It moved over to the grave and started pawin’ its hoof on the ground. I didn’t know what to do. I bent down low to Chester and patted him on the side. “Get out of here, get to Courtney.” I said that cus she was the only thing I could think about right now. Her and the bun in her oven. Chester didn’t need to be told twice. He took off, tail between his legs, and ran straight through the screen door.
I moved closer, I’d have one chance at this. The stag had to be the leader. I took aim and held my breath. “Sorry Pa,” I says under my breath, and fired. Bang. It fell over deader than a doorknob, snappin’ the cross I made for Bambi in two. I breathed a sigh of relief. The bleatin’ buck backed up a few feet but didn’t scatter. Cautiously I approached the grave, aimin’ the gun at the bleater.
“You get. You go on and get and don’t come back. I don’t want to hurt ya but I gotta if you won’t leave me alone. Go on. Get!”
Then three more stags came out of the forest, all bigger and meaner lookin’ than the one I just shot. I stared ‘em down, long and hard. Seemed like an hour passed but I know it was just a few seconds. I felt the hair on my neck rise. Slowly, I turned around. There were at least sixty some odd deer, and they had me completely surrounded. A fawn, just a little guy, charged at me. I side stepped him but then another buck hit me from the side, sendin’ me to my knees. I turned the rifle over and shot, wingin’ the son of a bitch and sendin’ him bleatin’ into the woods. But they kept coming. Deer charged past in a fury. Their red eyes left streaks in my vision. The stags started trumpetin’ and pawin’ the ground.
I took one last look at the farm… my farm… my dog, my wife, my baby. Lucky Lonny Pickett isn’t so lucky anymore. The stags charged and that was the last thing I remembered.
They said that Courtney found my body the next mornin’ after dead sleepin’ through all the gunshots. I fell right on top of Bambi’s grave, all mangled and trampled. She couldn’t even recognize me.
She’s got a new man, a good fella by the unfortunate name of Hank Hankerson. My baby girl is three years old now and is apparently Chester’s favorite playmate. Oh and the crops came in great. Courtney pulled in a pretty penny from the first harvest which funded the next five. They said that the next years crops were even better, particularly the ones she grew on the north side of the field where I died. Says it’s the lushest area on the whole dang farm. Only problem though is the deer keep comin’ by and eatin’ all the crops. She says Hank is gonna have to start sittin’ out there with a gun and scare em off. I wish him good luck on that one.

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