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continuing
As I was picking myself up off the shooter’s shack floor, I glanced over to the TV.
The ballplayers were all wandering around the field, looking skyward. Evidently, there was this hellacious explosion…even the television sports commentators were speculating as to what happened.
Whoops.
I looked out into the quarry. The wall that I had charged had receded some 75 feet.
There was rather a large amount of shattered, blasted dolomitic limestone now in the quarry. Enough, I found out later, for a full month’s worth of orders.
We never did find the blasting mats. I think they sort of evaporated.
Luckily, the quarry is essentially an open amphitheater in plan view; basically a big hole in the ground with vertical limestone walls. The shockwave of the blast that didn’t spend itself shattering the limestone into which it was housed, blew out laterally, hit the opposite quarry wall, rebounded, and then dispersed, rather energetically, vertically upward.
I set off car alarms for a 20 block radius.
There were no broken home windows, as the lion’s share of the shock wave was redirected upward.
Good thing there were no low flying zeppelins or dirigibles in the area...
I waited the requisite time to allow for any loafers. There were none, so I jumped into the nearest wheel loader and began clearing the quarry floor. Hell, I had to so I could open the front gate.
As I was clearing the floor, making pile number eight of the loose rock I had liberated, I heard the characteristic whoop-whoop of emergency vehicles.
I parked the wheel loader, opened the front gate, and raised the green flag. That was enough blasting for one day.
A few minutes later, three police cars zoom into the site. Two were local city cops, and one was a state trooper.
“Hi, guys!” I waved, “Nice day, innit?”
“Doctor Rock! We should have known.” One of the local boys groaned.
“Hey, I did call you beforehand, as per procedure,” I said.
Polack the cop walks up, just knowing I was responsible. “Yeah, but we didn’t figure on you terrorizing the entire city.”
“Polack! How goes it?” I asked.
The other local cop and the state trooper look to Polack, “You know this maniac?”
“Oh, hell yeah. For years. Don’t worry, the good doctor is mostly harmless.” He chuckles.
“Damn. OK. I guess everything’s OK. Just no more shooting today, please, Doctor. It’s going to take hours to calm everyone down.” He laments.
“Yes, sir. I’m done for the day.” I reply, snickering slightly.
The one local and state trooper depart, shaking their heads in amazement. This left Polack to follow me over to the shooter’s shack to mooch a cigar and whatever else he can find.
“Jesus Hula-Dancing Christ, Rock. What the hell was that? I was all the way out in Whitewatosa and heard you.” He asks as he sneakily snakes a smoke out of my case.
“Just some common chemicals in the proper proportions.” I snicker.
“Which were?” he asks.
I go in the back of the shed and toss him an empty container of one of the parts of the binaries I used. He catches it, reads the label, and drops it like a live grenade.
“Binaries? Fuck! Like what you used at the tower?” he asks.
“Yep. I used just a little more.” I reply.
“Little more? Damn, as I said, we’ve been briefed on the stuff. This shit’s nasty.” He shakes his head.
“Yeah. Fun, too.” I reply.
Polack grabs a Sprechler’s Cream Soda out of the fridge as I opt for a cold Cream Ale and shot of potato juice. Hell, I was done for the day, so…
We sit around and have a chat, just shooting the shit, as it were. Manly topics, so the conversation eventually steered over to guns.
“Hey!” Polack remembers, “That’s right! You fucking owe me. Let me borrow that fucking cannon you carry. I want to show the chief a thing or two.”
“Yeah, that’s right”, I agree, “When do you need it?”
“This Friday, after shift. It’s the monthly qualifiers for us.” He notes.
“Are pyromaniacs allowed in?” I ask.
“To observe? Sure. To shoot? Nope. Insurance regulations.” He says.
“What time?” I continue.
“1800 hours.” He tells me.
“I’ll be there. I’ll bring my gun and an assortment of loads. Hey, this could be fun!” I evilly smile.
“Doctor. You’re doing that thing again. You’re grinnin’ like a shithouse rat. You know how much that scares me. Stop it.” He pleads.
“No worries. Friday at 1800 hours.” I reply, grinning.
Polack slurps down his Sprechlers, snitches another stogie, and squeals out of the quarry in a cloud of dense dolomitic dust.
I arrive back at our flat, after stopping for two frozen custard Turtle Sundaes, to go. I give one to an appreciative wife and I ask her about her day.
“Oh, went shopping with Oma. Got the cutest shoes, and a new purse, and…oh well, never mind. You’ll see.”
Between bites of Turtle Sundae, she asks how my day went.
“Oh, my dear. I had a real blast.” I replied, not lying in the least.
Monday, after my first classes, I’m back in the faculty lounge, savoring a Greenland Coffee.
There was the usual instructor chatter when Dean Vermiculari walks in.
“Good morning, Dean!” I say. “Care for a sit-down and a coffee?”
“Good morning, Doctor Rock. Yes, please to both.” He replies.
I fix us both a fresh Greenland Coffee and return to our table. I hand him one and sit down to savor my soupçon.
“How was your weekend?” I ask the Dean of the College.
“Oh, very nice. Had a fine time catching some perch and crappie out on Lake Genever. I see you had a victorious weekend as well. Twice.” He smiles.
“Twice?” I asked.
“Well, your handling of the tower demolition made all the papers. Very, very well done, Doctor. I congratulate you.” He smiles.
“Thank you, Dean. That means a lot. Just doing what I can with what I’ve got. But twice?” I replied.
“It wasn’t front-page news, but I saw there was some, well, let us just say, ‘energetic activity’ out at the Silurian reef limestone quarry yesterday.” He grinned.
“Oh, yes. I had a job to do and well, as I always say: ‘Nothing succeeds like excess.” I smile back.
“Quite. This beverage you’ve created is really rather extraordinary, Doctor. Again, I thank you.” He tips his mug my direction in the age-old Midwestern salute.
“It’s a little recipe I picked up on my last expedition to the northlands. I grew rather fond of the concoction.” I replied.
“Ah, I see. Marvelous.” He smiles.
“Thank you, Dean. High praise indeed.” I reply.
“Which leads me to…ah, Doctor Rock. I have another favor to impose upon you.” He says, all serious.
“Yes, Dean? How can I be of service?” I ask.
“We, as you no doubt know, have many, many fine extractive mineral company connections. We actually receive quite a large amount of funding and endowments from them. They recruit here extensively for our young geoscientists. Now, since Dr. Pataariki has left for industry himself, I would like to appoint you as the College of Natural Sciences corporate liaison.” He explains.
“Indeed?” I replied, too stunned for words for once.
“Yes, indeed.” He continues, “It will require travel, mostly domestic, and delivering symposia at various companies on differing extractive geological subjects. You will also serve as host and university coordinator when they are present on recruiting tours. There will, of course, be additional remuneration to accompany the added responsibilities.”
I slurped my coffee, thinking furiously.
“Could I please first discuss it with my wife before I answer?” I ask.
“Oh, Doctor. Of course, of course. Take your time. I will not require a reply until… tomorrow.” He smiles, finishes his coffee, thanks me again, and toddles out.
“Yow, Es!” I exclaim, “This is one hell of an opportunity. It’s never before been offered to a junior professor. This will cement my tenure-track. It’s going to be a bitch with time, though. What do you think I should do?”
“Well, Rock, honey, I think you should do…” Es begins.
“No! None of that ‘do what you think is best’ stuff. I want your own thoughts, just like when I decided to go after my doctorate.” I explained.
“OK, then.” Esme looks all serious like she’s going to deliver a bipartisan political speech.
“Yes.” She says, firmly
“That’s it?” I ask.
“Yep. You asked I answered. We’ll make it work. We always do. You can’t let the Dean down. You will accept tomorrow without fear or qualms of your wife’s hesitations, of which I harbor none.” Esme proclaims.
“Did I ever tell you of the myriad reasons I love you so?” I ask.
The next morning I meet with Dean Vermiculari. He’s pleased that I accept and hands over to me the charter. Then the lists of company representatives, their contact information, and some other secret stuff that I can’t divulge right yet.
A raft of oil companies will be coming in the late spring semester, so I need to contact each and every one to solidify dates, times and positions for which they’re recruiting. But that’s for then, I have something more proximal for now.
I have a Friday appointment with Polack the cop at the town police shooting range.
I arrive spot on time with my Casull .454 Magnum pistol, in its carry bag, along with a small duffel crammed with Pyrodex, Tannerite, and selection of specialty loads I had Herman the German, the inveterate gunsmith, create.
Herman the German, his actual sobriquet, was this incredible gunsmith, craftsman, and all-around artillery specialist. Have any sort of problem with a rifle, shotgun, or pistol? See Herman. Gun holding too high? See Herman. Barrel warped? See Herman. Need solid gold projectiles for a certain one-off job? See Herman.
Herman the German can sort it out.
Just never ask him: “How?”
“Ach! I’ve lived so long to learn, and you want it free? I’ll fix it, you pay, but I am only one knowing how!”
Herman was a cranky old Kraut, and has lived here for as long as anyone can remember. Even my Grandfather had deferred to Herman when he had some particularly delicate machining operation that need special attention and was unique.
As far as anyone knew, Herman had no family, but was never at a loss for friends. He was one of the most popular, and well known, but still oddly really unknown, kind of mysterious, old bastards in the entire community.
Herman the German liked me because I could obtain for him certain high-energy things he couldn’t. All were entirely legal, but some were sort of out there in the gray zone.
He also liked that I was educated, as he held education in the highest esteem. He also liked that I was of German extraction myself.
I often made it a point to drop by with odd and unusual high-octane potables while never expecting anything in return other than a story or a shared cigar.
Herman created some special loads for my .454 Magnum, which he prized.
“I like your gun, Doctor Rock, it is so big! I can still see well enough to build things for it.” He told me one day over cheroots and Schnapps.
Herman was a character to be certain. It must have been the pixie in him to dream up some of the specialty rounds he created for me to share with the local constabulary.
He lived out in the county by himself in an old farmhouse. He had a full machine shop in his basement, complete with forge, metal handling equipment, and a firing test range.
He handed back my .454, rather solemnly.
“Doctor, I am afraid to say I couldn’t test all the special rounds I’ve created for you. I need to patch the hole in the cinder blocks in the downstairs range. Your gun punched right through the back…” he apologized.
Now, Herman does all sorts of work on the local’s deer rifles, the police’s ordinance and has even worked some with the Baja Canada National Guard. Some of the little novelties he’s dreamed up for me are the first to escape his homemade basement test range.
I felt oddly honored.
After proving who I was to the nice range officer, I looked around trying to find Polack.
“It’s 1550. Where the hell is Polack? I wondered.
“Rock! Over here.” Polack calls to me.
He motions me outside to the police department’s tactical outdoor range. I had thought all along he was referring to the indoors police target range. This might pose some problems.
The tactical range was a series of clapboard shacks, all setup and designed to represent some downtrodden urban inter-city landscape. There were a couple of junked cars, broken sidewalks, storefronts, houses, bus stops…in short, all things necessary to replicate the seediest sections of a settlement where malefactors live and breed.
The cops all run around this range, shooting at bad guy pop-up cut-outs and avoid the not-bad-guy pop-up cut-outs. They’ve got music blaring, firecrackers going off, all trying to re-create a shady deeply urban environment. Points are awarded by the accuracy of fire on the run, time to maneuver the course, and the ability of not gunning down innocent bystanders.
It is not the best place to test a .454 Cusall. This hand cannon recoils like a fundamentalist Christian being solicited for donations to Anton LaVey, shoots flames and incandescent gasses like Smaug after a hard night of drinking and a stop at the Taco Bell buffet, is louder than a dime-store Karen demanding to see a Manager, and more powerful than a Ghost Pepper suppository.
To quote Joe Piscopo: “It shoots through schools.” Especially faux-schools made of plywood.
A .32 or .38 cop special is the correct weapon here; even a 9mm is a little heavy. Enough power to make a serious dent, easy on control, light on the recoil…a good tactical weapon.
But, nothing succeeds like excess.
Polack’s Chief is running around, capping off his ‘big ol’ .44 Magnum, and making the valley echo. He punches considerable holes in the pop-up cut-outs, but has such a hard time handling the recoil, his score is barely passable.
Polack runs his test with his standard 9mm sidearm and qualifies easily. However, he’s nowhere near done with his Chief yet.
I suggest to Polack we have a shoot-off. And since a .44 Magnum bullet ‘is so close to a .454 Magnum’, which it isn’t…the .454 Casull generates nearly 85% more recoil energy than the .44 Magnum; that we’d need something other than holes punched in plywood to judge the efficacy of each.
We are literally just down the road from Max Yazzer’s farm and market. They’re the place you go for your Halloween jack-o-lantern. However, now, he has a surplus of melons.
I think you can see where this is headed…
I borrow Polack’s personal conveyance and run down to Max’s farm. I return with a trunk-load of elderly, overripe, cheap as chips, melons. Watermelons, Honeydews, Musks, and Casabas.
We place them in strategic areas on the course, five for the Chief to find, and five for Polack.
A .44 vs. a .454 melon-wise results in pretty much the same sort of mess: high-velocity fruit spatter. Although, the Chief was very impressed by the report of the .454. So, after running the tactical-melon course, clear demarcation of a winner was elusive.
OK, OK, clever dicks. How about this? A standing shoot-off? We’ll set up 3 melons each at 30, 20, and 10 yards. Beginning at 30 yards, your time will be until you take out all three melons. But, they’re not going to be in a straight line, we’re going to make them somewhat camouflaged. You will stand in one small demarcated area, hunt those miscreant melons, and bring them to justice. Fastest time and greatest display wins, as determined by the Police Peanut Gallery.
Polack and the Chief agree.
The Chief goes first and dispatches the melons, with a fair amount of spatter, in 15.3 seconds.
Not bad.
Polack is next. He wipes out all the melons and creates some thoroughly impressive displays with Herman’s ‘special’ rounds. Normal ballistics for the .454 are, for a 250 grain (16 g) bullet, a muzzle velocity of over 2,400 feet per second, developing up to 2,800 ft-lb of energy.
Herman’s hot loads are double that.
Polack wins the day on impressive high-velocity melon distribution, but misses, so close, with a time of 17.0 seconds.
Recoil’s a bitch.
Then there are Herman’s ‘specialties’.
The Chief is duly impressed and even comments that his ears are ringing even with the ear protectors. He asks to inspect the weapon. He is even more than duly impressed.
Polack knows what’s up and asks the Chief if he’d like to give a whirl.
Of course, the Chief can’t back down.
Polack loads the .454 with 5 of Herman’s specialties: hollow-point rounds loaded hot, compressed, and tipped with alkaline earth metals, like metallic sodium and metallic potassium…
We set up the nastiest, glorpiest, just barely-holding-together, overripe, laced with Tannerite (an impact-actuated low-explosive) watermelon at the ‘Concealed Carry’ distance of 5 meters.
We slowly fade back into the distance to avoid the inevitable ‘Gallagher reaction’.
The Chief fires one, and just nicks the top of the melon. Don’t laugh, with the type of recoil and heft of the sidearm, and tensing up in anticipation, it’s easy to be off the mark initially.
The second round impacts dead-center. Now, alkaline earth metals and water don’t get along really well. In fact, their relationship is explosive. Especially explosive when delivered at 2,900 feet per second.
The Chief catches a huge smattering of vitamin-packed watermelony back blast goo.
He’s not entirely happy. He looks positively grisly with all that blown-up melon schmoo on his nice, neat uniform.
He returns my gun and bans me from ever showing up at the police range again.
Polack is on traffic duty for the next month.
He figures it was well worth it.
Back at the flat, Esme is shaking her head and wondering if I’ll ever grow up.
“I may grow old, but I’ll never grow up.” I reply.
I see I have several missed phone calls. Ah, me; no rest for the weary. Back to company-university liaison duties.
After I had contacted these companies, I receive no less than 12 requests for symposia, talks, and seminars to be given to various level of industrial scientific employees in their respective companies.
I am now slated to give academic conferences on stratigraphy, sedimentology, and seismic structural geology to different companies in Houston, Oklahoma City, Denver, Casper, Corpus Christi, New Orleans, and Tulsa. In the next 12 weeks, I’ll be giving no less than 8 talks in seven cities.
I speak with Dean Vermiculari on how best to handle the situation. He understands and appoints two graduate student teaching assistants to handle my classes while I’m on the road. That relieves me of being physically there, but I still have to grade papers, compose lesson plans, and keep things running smoothly until finals.
Besides giving the talks, there’s travel to oil fields, production facilitates, manufacturing plants, hotels, restaurants while I’m in town…the pace is excruciating. I’m gone more than I am at university. Plus in my time back home, I’m still the ad hoc master blaster for the limestone quarry.
Then, there’s the companies arriving on campus, and the roles are reversed. Now I’m the welcome wagon and have to sort out the logistics of receiving the company representatives. I need to set up the colloquia to introduce the companies to the prospective students, arrange lodging, arrange passes for the university, transportation, “Meet-and-Greet’s, ad infinitum.
I knew this was having a bit of effect on me when I came back to the flat after one particularly grueling ordeal of canceled flights, full hotels, missed connections and lukewarm reception by the company workers.
“Hello”, I said, as I walked in the flat, “I believe you have a reservation for…”
Esme just stood there, wondering if I was having a laugh.
No, I wasn’t. I was completely hallucinating from road weariness, lack of sleep, jet lag, and total disorientation. This continued on for the next approximately 18 months.
Esme was beginning to have second thoughts about all this.
My teaching load was diminished by one whole introductory course. However, I was still flying hither and yon, delivering symposia, meeting with young geoscientists and getting to know the ins-and-outs of the Oil Industry.
I found it particularly fascinating.
Time marched on and it was once again it was the recruiting season. We had no less than eight oil companies visiting the university in their quest to swell the roster of their junior scientists.
I’m still busier than a one-armed paperhanger in a windstorm, but have settled into a groove of sorts. I know the company recruiters and they now know me. I’ve actually struck up friendships with several. Particularly since I take them to the best local restaurants and bars after their recruiting duties are finished.
I’ve met with recruiting representatives of Shrill Petrol, Mexxon, Nobil, Nocono Oil, Flug, Geddy, Brutish Petroleum, and Qexaco.
The recruiting season is winding down and I find myself with Red (not Adair), of Nocono Oil.
“Well, Doctor Rock”, Red states, “Another fine recruiting run. We’ve snagged two of your young geologists and one geophysicist. I’d say it was almost a perfect score.”
We’re sitting in the Norton’s Steakhouse. After a couple of prime pink porterhouses, we’re working on the post-dinner double vodka and bitter lemon for me, and Lagavulin for Red.
“Almost perfect?” I ask.
“Yeah. There’s been this one small nagging concern from our company higher-ups.” Red continues.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“We need some more senior people. For one thing, we’ve recently opened a new petroleum laboratory down in our Houston office. Going to need some serious talent to run that show.” Red says.
“I see”, I reply, “And…?”
“We need mentors. Those with varied and far-flung knowledge. They must be well educated, global in experience and stature, with an [ahem] diverse set of skills.” Red notes.
“Whew”, I agree, “That’s a tall order. You want my help with names of possible candidates? Is that it?”
“Not as such, Doctor.” Red drains his drink, motions for me to do the same, and orders another round.
Our drinks arrive and Red downs half his in one gulp.
“Well, then”, I continue, “How can I help?”
Red chuckles, “For someone so educated, you can really be thick as two short planks at times.”
I sit back, and sip my Old Thought Provoker.
The mercury-vapors light off.
“No!” I say, incredulously.
“Oh, yes.” Red smiles.
“No?” I ask, slowly taking in the possible effects of what he’s hinting at…
“OK, Doctor Rocknocker”, Red gets all serious and corporate, “We’d like to offer you a position at Nocono Oil as Senior Laboratory Manager and Head of Corporate Continuing Education.”
You could have knocked me over with a grenade. I was stunned. I fumbled with my drink.
“Red, you old con artist” I reply, “Is this a set-up?”
Red, serious as a heart attack, looks directly at me and replies, “Doctor Rock, absolutely not, it’s a genuine offer.”
He slides over a folder with some papers inside. “Here are the particulars.”
Reeling, I accept the folder. I open it and right after the corporate logos and legal bullshit, I see a tall figure with a whole raft of zeros trailing behind it.
I read furiously. The job would be both interesting and challenging. It would be in Houston, with travel and teaching at all other company outposts on a regular basis. I reexamine that figure from before and verify that I’m not now hallucinating.
The job comes with furnished, corporate-paid housing, incredible benefits, loads of opportunity for advancement, more opportunity to travel, really generous vacation time…
“Right. On the level?” I ask again.
“Yep.” Red bluntly says.
“Well”, I gulp, “you know I have to discuss this with Esme”, whom he’s met several times previous.
“Of course, and you probably want to finish out the semester, correct?” red asks.
“Oh, yes.” I reply. There would be a monsoon of paperwork and other grunt work I’d need to conclude or hand over if I were to accept this offer.
“OK, then”, Red finishes his drink, motions for me to do the same, a real rarity; but I was in another dimension at this point. He orders another round and sits back, waiting on a refill.
“You have two weeks to reply” Red states.
“I know that’s not a terribly long time, but we need to fill this position ASAP. Can I ask for that? Your answer, yea, or nay, within a fortnight?” Red demands.
“Yes”, I reply. “I at least owe you that.”
And that was the end of the discussion for the night about me joining the private sector. We stayed a few more hours, chatting, smoking my cigars, and discussing everything but the lumbering elephant in the room.
We part outside as I need to head back to our flat. Red wants to go downtown to one of those “Gentleman’s Clubs” he’s heard were so famous at the time.
I was flummoxed the whole cab ride home.
It was late when I returned, but I simply had to wake Es with the news.
“Rock, for pity’s sake, its 2 o’clock in the morning!” Es protests. “Can’t this wait until later?”
“Sorry, my dear” I reply, probably as serious as I ever had with Esme. “This is a potential game-changer.”
“What is it? Are you OK?” Esme trembles.
“Oh, I’m fine. Better than fine.” I reply.
She’s relieved.
“Then what’s so important?” she asks.
“Um…how would you like to move to Houston?” I ask.
“You going to teach at Cougar High (University of Houston)?” she inquires.
“Nope. Brace yourself. I’ve been offered a job with Nocono Oil.” I finally spill the beans.
Esme is slightly stunned and sits down.
I go to the wet bar, fix me a bracing potato juice and citrus and Esme a stiff white Zinfandel.
I hand her the wine and she is still semi-dazed and digesting the information.
I slurp a good portion of my drink, retrieve her Sobranjes and me a cigar from my Turkmenistan humidor.
I sit on the couch next to her and hug her soundly.
“Esme? Es? Earth to Es? You in there?” I joke.
“Oh, Yeah. Rock. Really? Hang on”, she leaves, returning with her housecoat as this might take a little time.
“So?” I ask, “Your thoughts. Now! Immediately! Initial reaction!” I try to jar her back into reality.
“Well, what do you want?” she asks.
“C’mon, my dearest. You know I hate that. No, what do you think? What do you honestly think?” I reply.
We both fire up our smokes, and I refresh our drinks. We return to the dinner table where Red’s folder lies.
“Es, here. Look at this.” I say, sliding the portfolio over to her.
She reads like a hungry man at a Vegas casino buffet. I can tell where she was stopped by something extraordinary.
“This is for real?” she asks, “Red’s not pulling a fast one?”
“Nope. It’s the genuine article”, I tell her, “He needs my reply within two weeks.”
“Rock, Rock…I just don’t know. It’s a lot to process at 0230 in the morning. Let’s go to bed and have a think in the morning. You have the luxury of at least that amount of time.” She notes.
“Right again, as usual”, I say, “Stuff it. It can wait.” We toddle off to bed.
The next morning, over Cuban omelets and Greenland Coffees, we sort through the particulars.
“Rock, it’s an extraordinary offer. But, do you want to leave teaching? I remember how you got all animated by Dean Vermiculari giving you the corporate liaison job and how that would improve your shot at tenure.” She notes.
“I just don’t know. I’m still shell-shocked.” I tell her. “Let me go to school and we’ll pick this up tonight. We both have work to do no matter what. Oh, bloody hell. I hadn’t considered your job. Another wrinkle in the mess.”
“Don’t you worry about that”, Esme smiles. “One catastrophe at a time.”
“I do so love you.” I hug her soundly. “Think I should mention this offer to anyone at school?”
“No. Definitely not.” Esme shakes her head. “Let’s figure this out on our own.”
“I agree”, I say, kiss her and depart for school once again.
The next week was a blur. Recruiting duties were dragging and I was being preoccupied.
Even my students noted the lack of in-room explosions lately.
I spend the next Saturday at the quarry, doing some small amount of blasting. I quiz the quarry owners about their progress in acquiring a new master for the quarry’s operation.
“Oh, Doctor Rock” they gush, “You’re doing such a fine job, we haven’t really looked. Why do you ask?”
“No particular reason at this time, I reply, “But perhaps you might want to begin looking”
The chinks in my armor were finally starting to show.
Sunday was spent out on Sliver Lake, with Esme and me chasing the elusive crappie, perch, and bucketmouth bass. It also gave us a chance to clear our heads from work, school and other such intrusions. We both needed a bit of downtime.
Later that night, after a meal of beer-battered fillet of crappie and perch on the barbie, we sit down at the dinner table.
The portfolio sits there, taunting us.
I get up, makes us both our drinks, sit down and declare that this is it.
“Es, darling” I say, “its nut-cuttin’ time. We need to make our decision.”
“You’re right.” Es agrees, “Time for risk-reward analysis. Get some paper and some pencils.”
We spend the next few hours listing the pros and cons of accepting the Houston position or staying here and pursuing my tenured professorship.
After several hours, I stretch, stand, and go to the fridge. I retrieve the bottle of Bollinger Les Vieilles Vignes Francaises I had purchased the other day.
I return to the table with the wine and the glasses, pop the cork and pour us both a glass of high-brow bubble water.
I hug and kiss Esme like I had just returned from a long, solo expedition.
“Esme, my darling. I’d like to propose a toast. First to us. Hа здоровый!”
“Cheers!” Esme replies.
“Secondly to Red, Dean Vermiculari, the quarry guys, Polack the Cop, and all the others that makes our life weird around here.”
“Seconded”, Es echoes.
“Finally: to Houston, Texas. Our new home!” I finally add.
The next morning, Dean Vermiculari peers over the top of his pince-nez glasses. He’s not looking overly happy with me right now.
“Why is it, Doctor, that everyone that receives the job of corporate liaison ends up going with corporate?” he asks.
“Perhaps it’s just the exposure to another world that exists beyond academia.” I reply, truthfully.
“Doctor Rocknocker,” the Dean gravely states, “I am not at all happy about your decision. We had great hopes for you here and you were riding right up the tenure track. Another five years and it would have been assured.”
“Five years is a long time, Dean”, I state the obvious.
“Yes, indeed.” The Dean replies frostily. “However, you are young. Perhaps you need to get this private sector nonsense out of your system, then you can return to academia where you belong.”
“Perhaps, perhaps”, I reply.
“Please, do consider this option down the road. You and your antics will be missed here, by students and faculty alike.” He says.
“I will, Dean, I promise.” I reply “However, for now, it’s time for my boot heels to be wanderin’.”
“Doctor, I will miss your strange and unique way of looking at life. I reluctantly accept your resignation at the end of the current semester and wish you all the best in your newest endeavors. Please remember us when corporate support for academia is mentioned in your new company.” he says.
“I promise you, Dean, I will not forget what I’ve learned here and what you’ve taught. It’s the least I can do,” I reply. “I will never forget my roots.”
“All I can ask”, he concludes. He stands to shake my hand. We shake and my audience is over.
I resign from the quarry a week later. They haven’t found a new blaster but wish me well on my new journey. I tell them I’m here until the end of the semester, so I won’t leave them high and dry.
I tell Polack the Cop about all the goings-on.
“Who the hell can I roust for beer and cigars now?” He whines. “Let me know when you get to Texas if they need any cops. I wouldn’t mind trying’ that. Hell, maybe a Texas Ranger!”
“A Cheesehead Ranger…?” I assure him I will and pass a box of cigars to him as a parting gift. He gives me a mayoral-signed get-out-of-jail-free card.
“Now you can drive that old Harley just as crazy as you want.” He chuckles.
“Thanks, Polack.” I say, shaking his hand. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I sold my bike a week earlier.
Red was very chuffed with the news.
“Snagged me a big one this time!’ He laughed, over the phone.
There was enough paperwork, considerations and decisions to be made to last the remaining time Esme and I had in-state until our move. Already, a moving company had arrived, done inventory, and was preparing for our move to Houston.
Esme resigned her position and decided she wanted to take some time off. She wanted to be a housewife, a colleague, and not have to work for once at an outside job. My new position allowed for that in spades. Besides with her credentials, anytime when she wants to re-join the workforce, there are myriad opportunities in the Bayou City.
We made the choice of housing out west of town, in Katy, Texas. We could have chosen Sugarland, Addicks, Greenspoint, Greenway, or the Memorial area. However, these west Houston company properties were closest to the job and largest in square footage.
My students got wind of my resignation and relocation. They threw me an unexpected farewell party at the Gast Haus. It was nickel-beer night and since they were footing the bill, it all worked out just fine.
I would miss the old place. The camaraderie, the seasons, the university; hell my home these last many years. I’ve been on many, many expeditions, but I always returned home.
Now, home was moving and was awaiting our arrival.
Esme and I said our farewells to our families as well. We were the first through college, the first ones to travel international, the first Doctor in the family, and the first to leave the state.
That’s a lot of familial firsts.
I had to keep reminding everyone it wouldn’t be the last. Hell, we’re just moving to Texas, it’s not like we’re off to Greenland or Mongolia…
[Gasp]
We saddled up Es’s old Chevy Nova, took one last, lingering look in the rearview mirror, and said fare thee well to our previous lives.
“We’ll be back. Someday. I promise” I told the city of our youth and young married adulthood.
We decided to drive to Houston because we had the luxury of a bit of time. We needed the stretch to chew over some interpersonal and private things on the way to the next chapter in our lives. Besides, the weather was good, the roads ahead open and clear, and Texas had no ‘Open Container’ law, yet.
We pointed the old Nova south and hit the gas.
A week later, we’re wandering around our new house in Katy, Texas. Our belongings, scant though they may be, arrived the day after we did. Esme and I spent the next couple of day rearranging the house, buying necessary domestic bits and pieces, and getting to know our new neighborhood.
First thing, though, Esme wanted to replace the old Nova. I concurred, but insisted we keep it as a second car and went out to purchase our first new car as a couple.
I wanted a Land Rover. We ended up with a glossy black Toyota 4-Runner. Close enough.
I was scheduled to show up at my new job the next Monday.
I had my own parking spot, complete with “Reserved for Dr. Rock” painted on the bumper block. I was shown my new lab and was introduced to my seven laboratory assistants. I was shown the catalogs I could use to order what I needed and went over the requisition procedures.
I was trotted around to meet the company CEO, CFO, CIO, VPs and many, many more company executives and managers. I’ve met with presidents and heads of state, I was impressed but not overly. They seemed like a more or less nice bunch of chaps.
Almost exactly five weeks to the day from our arrival in Houston, I come home, yelling “Darling, I’m home!”
Esme comes to greet me with a rib-rearranging hug. She tells me to sit at the dinner table, where my long hard day at the office drink, cigar, ashtray, and lighter are already set.
“How was work, dear?” she asks, sitting down with her Perrier water.
“Oh, it’s going great. The knotheads let me have an open-ended budget until I get the labs sorted just the way I want it. These guys pay their bills on time and I have carte blanche at Wards Scientific, and other supply houses. My crew is great, no interpersonal crapola, and hard workers. I can smoke in my office and no one dares give me shit about my cigars. I’m getting to know the exploration department quite well. They’re really interested in our expeditions and are more interested in my opinions of their new exploration directives.”
Esme just smiles and sips her water.
“Odd”, I thought.
“That’s great, dear.” She says. “I am so glad to hear it.”
“Me too”, I say, “How are you holding up after all these weeks alone?”
“Oh, I’m getting used to it.” She smiles.
And smiles. Beatifically. Glowing.
“What?” I ask.
“Remember what we talked about in the car on the way down here?” She asks.
“We talked about a lot of things…” I say, suddenly my eyes grew very, very wide indeed.
“Yes. You’re going to be a father. I’m pregnant, Rock.” Esme smiles.

I will attempt to name every Ready Player One Easter Egg Reference Cameo and details. Will be updated and feel free to help out in the comments.

Disclaimer:I am getting these time stamps off ITunes -At 0:00:48-Van Halen’s 1984 song Jump begins to play in the introduction to The “Stacks”.
At 0:1:18-A BLACK ALIEN INVADER STICKER FROM SPACE INVADERS IS ON WADE’S BACKPACK
At 0:01:44 one of the residents of “The Stacks” is receiving a delivery from a Pizza Hut drone.
At 0:02:13-Mrs. Gilmore is wearing a shirt featuring The Police album Synchronicity
At 0:02:45 Two Garbage Pail Kids stickers are visible on the wall one I can make out one which is Bony Tony
Also 0:02:45-A Garfield sticker is also on the van’s wall
At 0:02:46-Hanging from the wall is a damaged IPod Classic
At 0:02:47-Wade retrieves his OASIS retinal scanner off a a Commodore 64 joystick.
Also at 0:02:46-A 1980’s Batman sticker is stuck to the wall where Wade’s retinal scanner is.
At 0:02:47-a Nintendo NES Zapper is taped to the wall of the van.
Also at 0:02:47- a 1972-Doritos packet is tucked behind a drawer in the van.
Also at 0:02:47-a sticker of the pyramid from Q*Bert is stuck to a shelf in Wade’s Van.
At 0:02:57-Wade sets his glasses on a 1982 Masters Of The Universe lunchbox. A Masters Of The Universe Thermos is further along the drawer.
Also at 0:02:57-A POP ROCKS! Blue Razz packet is also lying upon the MOTU lunchbox.
At 0:02:57-beside the lunchbox is a 1980’s Coke can
Also at 0:02:57 A Carl’s Jr. fries packet is lying beside the lunchbox
At 0:03:16-Wade pulls his OASIS visor out of a 1981 Defenders T-Shirt.
At 0:03:18-A 1982 JOUST sticker is placed on the visor
Also at 0:03:18-A Space Invaders logo decal is on the visor
Also at 0:03:18-A Mattel Scratch N’ Sniff sticker is next to the Space Invaders sticker
At 0:03:24-A 1980’s Batman Symbol sticker is visible on the visor
At 0:03:40-we enter the OASIS to visit Minecraft World nice attention to detail with the blocks forming and creeper-face logo.
At 0:03:42-In Minecraft World a village below features Steve Alex and Minecraft pigs and sheep avatars (maybe NPCs?)
At 0:03:47-on the sports world a golf player does the Gilmore swing from Adam Sandler’s Happy Gilmore.
At 0:03:55-In a Sports World mini-game named Hurricane Hang-Gliding a small house flies through the wreckage referencing the Gale House from The Wizard Of Oz (well in the 1939 movie it was a Tornado but still a reference)
At 0:04:04-a group of OASIS sector portals are seen-some of these include Minecraft World and LUDUS school districts from the book.
At 0:04:17-get ready for some Batman references While in the Vacation Planet Wade explains that you could do multiple activities including climbing MT. Everest with Batman
The variation of the Batman show here is Micheal Keaton’s portrayal from the 1989 Tim Burton film.
Batman climbing MT. Everest is a reference to him and Robin climbing tall buildings in the 1966 Adam West tv series.
Also at 0:04:17-what’s interesting here is the climber below Batman. He definitely looks like Link from Nintendo’s Legend of Zelda series but I’ve heard Warner Bros. Couldn’t get the license so maybe a Robin Hood Avatar?
At 0:04:21-Wade says you can go to a planet-size space Casino this is taken directly from one of the episodes from the Anime Cowboy Bepbop.
At 0:04:30-we can hear a School bell ring as ships pass the planet Ludus which is of course the school Wade attends in the novel.
At 0:04:40-As Wade introduces the types of Avatars users can choose in the OASIS the Cyclops from the 1958 fantasy film The 7th Voyage Of Sinbad stomps out of the entry point.
At 0:04:41-Frankenstein (1931) and The Wolf-Man (1941) from their classic Universal horror movies emerge from the OASIS entry point as Thr Wolf-Man howls and Frankenstein’s Monster swings his arms around wrapped in chains.
0:04:42-A female Avatar switches her avatar to Injustice 2’s version of The Flash.
At 0:04:43-Zitz and Rash from the 1991 NES game Battletoads emerge from the entry point.
At 0:04:43-Alex Murphy A.K.A Robocop from Paul Verhoven’s 1987 original Robocop film emerges from the entry point.
At 0:04:46-Wade says your avatar can be a Cartoon character as Marvin the Martin from the Looney Tunes cartoon series runs out of the entry point (he looks so cute and cool)
At 0:04:47-a group of OASIS users using Orrendi from the 2016 video game BattleBorn emerge from the entry point.
At 0:04:48-behind Wade Shayne and Auroxx (might’ve misspelled the character’s name) from Battleborn emerge from the entry point.
At 0:04:49-An Orc from World of Warcraft walks besides Wade when Wade is introducing his Avatar Parzival.
At 0:04:56-above on a walkway a younger version of Beetlejuice from Tim Burton’s 1988 movie is visible.
Also at 0:4:56-it appears Raiden from the Mortal Kombat video game series is interacting with another player.
At 0:04:56-Tracer from the video game Overwatch cuts in line for an OASIS portal.
At 0:04:57-Sonic from Sega’s video game series Sonic The Hedgehog taps his foot impatiently waiting for a line.
Also at 0:04:57-Catwoman is also in the line (it appears it is Michelle Pfeiffer’s Batman Returns variation.
At 0:04:58-John Bender from John Hughe’s 1985 teen film The Breakfast Club is seen entering a portal.
At 0:04:58-Night-Wing is seen entering a portal alongside John Bender (it appears it is the Arkham variation.
At 0:04:58-now take this with a grain of salt but I think can make out Sektor and cyborg from Mortal Kombat in one of the portal lines.
At 0:05:00 (under the walkway Wade is one is Commander John Shepard from the EA video game Mass Effect.
At 0:05:02-on the walkway is Attikus from Battleborn stomping past Wade.
At 0:05:04-while Wade is explaining the possibilities of the OASIS Hello Kitty Badtz-Maru and Keroppi from Sanrio skips beside him.
At 0:05:05-A Protoss Zealot from Starcraft II is on the walkway behind Wade.
At 0:05:05-Wade’s avatar Parzival wears a belt and holster worn by Han Solo in Star Wars:Episode IV-A New Hope
Also at 0:05:05-The Buckle on Parzival’s belt is the Tiger emblem from Thundercats (1985 cartoon series)
Also at 0:05:05-Parzival wears Converse’s Chuck-Taylor All stars (golden-winged(
At 0:05:07-Wade pulls up a holographic OASIS sector map that is in the same shape as a Rubik’s Cube
At 0:05:11-Wade finds out Aech is currently participating in a PVP match on Planet Doom a location in the 1984 anime Voltron.
At 0:05:20-On Planet Doom Mechanised scorpions from the 1993 computer game Ultrabots swarm the battlefield.
Also at 0:05:20-The scorpions go up against Knights and Ostriches from the 1982 arcade game Joust (in a deleted scene in the SDCC trailer Napoleon rides on a scorpion as he kills ostriches which lay green eggs like in the game.
At 0:05:22-Aech kills a beserker from Gears of War.
At 0:05:28-Aech eliminates a PVP tournament player taking the form of Robert England’s Freddy Kruger
Also at 0:05:28-Aech uses an MA5B assault rifle from Halo 3 to eliminate players.
At 0:05:29-When Freddy gets killed Kreig’s Buzz-Axe from Borderlands comes bursting out of his inventory
At 0:05:31-Aech kills Kitana from Mortal Kombat as a fan comes out of her inventory
At 0:05:31-Man-Bat from Batman:Arkham Knight swoops down at Aech only to be eliminated
At 0:05:37-Despite being an Assault rifle from Halo the SFX of the rifle is the Pulse Rifle from Terminator 2:Judgement Day
At 0:05:41-Duke Nukem from the video game series of the same name fires multiple rockets at Aech only to be eliminated by him.
At 0:05:44-(this is the weirdest thing in the movie) A player taking the form of an Emoji person attempts to kill Aech.
At 0:05:46-A Zerg from Starcraft is shot by Aech.
At 0:05:47-Aech picks up a EM1-Railgun from the 1996 Arnold Schwarzenegger film Eraser.
At 0:05:53-Daito’s Avatar is actually based of legendary Japanese film actor Toshiro Mifune (specially from his 1953 film Throne of Blood)
At 0:05:56-Aech kills Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat.
At 0:05:57-Scorpion from Mortal Kombat is fighting Daito and Sho before being shot by Aech.
Also at 0:05:57-The weapon Scorpion is using is a buzz-Axe from Borderlands.
At 0:05:58-Aech shoots Deadshot (it is his Injustice 2 variation)
At 0:06:14-E. Honda from Street fighter is on the mountain pushing other people off with his belly.
At 0:06:18-Chun-Li from Street fighter can be seen dodging traps before being burned by a fire trap.
At 0:06:26-we all saw this cameo. Jim Raynor from Starcraft II and shooting every player in sight.
At 0:06:27-yet another 1972-packaged Doritos Tortilla Chips behind Rick on the coffee table (I believe you see it in the film four times)
0:06:36-When we cut to a mother playing the PVP tournament the Guitar from Guitar Hero is sitting On the armchair.
At 0:06:48-when Daito slays a PVP player and his loot bursts out an O.G 1986 W.O.W Laser Tag pistol can be seen in the pile.
At 0:06:50-we cut to a girl screaming since losing in the PVP match. A poster for The Bangle’s 1984 album All Over The Place is on the girl’s bedroom wall.
Also at 0:06:50 - A Bedtime Bear plush toy from Care Bears is on the girl’s bed.
At 0:06:51-A Donkey Kong Jr. poster is on the bedroom wall.
Also at 0:06:51-On a shelf in the girl’s bedroom Care Bear figurines are visible.
At 0:06:54-Daito and Sho fight and shortly kills Jason Vorhees from the Friday the 13th horror series.
Also at 0:06:54-When Jason is slain various things comes out of his inventory (lots of guns) I could only make out another 1986 W.O.W Laser Tag pistol.
At 0:07:06-Tear For Fear’s song Everybody Wants To Rule The World plays.
At 0:07:06-Raphael from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014 Michael Bay film) passes Wade when Wade is talking to Aech.
Also at 0:07:06-Blue Beetle from Injustice 2 passes Wade.
At 0:07:07-behind Wade you can see Benedict from Battleborn
At 0:07:08-Leonardo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (again 2014) passes wade while wade is talking to Aech.
At 0:07:12-Doc Brown from Back To The Future in his Part II outfit passes Wade on the walkway.
At 0:07:42-A framed poster of the video game Gradius appears on the wall in the Gregarious Games showcase room.
Also at 0:07:42-A Framed poster of Castlevaynia appears on the opposite wall in the GG showcase room.
At 0:08:01-Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor shortly plays over the start of Halliday’s last message video.
Also at 0:08:01-The quarters over Halliday’s eyes read:God We Trust 1972. 1972 was the year Ernest cline was born AND when Atari was founded.
At 0:08:05-At the funeral parlour there are various flower arrangements of the Starfleet logo and the U.S.S Enterprise ship along with a glass painting of the Starfleet logo from the sci-fi franchise Star Trek.
Also at 0:08:05-The coffin Halliday is lying in is Spock’s Mark VI torpedo in Star Trek II:The Wrath Of Khan.
At 0:08:10-Halliday rises out of the coffin of how Count Dracula would in various Dracula horror movies.
At 0:08:16-Halliday places a TOMY hand-held Pac-Man game on the coffin.
At 0:08:17-Halliday is wearing a Joust shirt.
At 0:08:21-On Halliday’s lapel he is wearing a SIMON pin.
Also at 0:08:21-A little harder to see but Halliday is also wearing a D20 pin from Dungeons and Dragons.
At 0:08:48-On the right side of the screen A High School student watching Halliday’s last message is wearing a Marvin The Martian shirt from The Looney Tunes.
At 0:08:51-Another High school student pulling out a screen is wearing a Pac-Man shirt.
At 0:10:04: Joan Jets and the Blackheart’s 1988 song I Hate myself For Loving you plays.
At 0:10:15-El Dragon from Battleborn passes Wade on the walkway.
At 0:10:27-On the copper key starting line Wade walks through aisles of IOI cars to pass The V8 Interceptor from Mad Max.
At 0:10:34-The Batmobile from the 1966 Adam West tv series Batman is visible throughout the race (love the safety siren flashing)
At 0:10:34-however the driver is not Adam West’s Batman and instead is the Batman from the Arkham games(you can see him moving around in the cockipit)
At 0:10:34:Ryu from Street Fighter is passing down the aisle of cars.
At 0:10:34-A modernised version of the Mach 5 from Speed Racer appears at the starting line next to Ryu.
At 0:10:59-Wade passes a red F1 racing car from the 1982 Atari game Pole Position.
Also at 0:10:59-Mr. T.’s GMC Van from the A-team appears at the starting line.
Also at 0:10:59-the 1968 possessed Plymouth Fury from Christine appears at the starting line of the copper key race.
Also at 0:10:59-Lara Croft from the Tomb Raider game series is having a conversation with Dizzy Wallin from Gears of War II before the race starts.
At 0:11:04-In the Oology department a Scholar is watching the Twin Pines Mall scene from Back to the future on a monitor.
At 0:11:06-A Halliday scholar is holding a sealed copy of DC Comics Presents:Superman and Superboy
At 0:11:09-A Halliday scholar is watching the Goodbye scene in E.T. The Extra Terrestrial on a monitor.
Also at 0:11:09-A Wonder Woman comic panel poster is being studied by scholars.
At 0:11:10-It looks as if on a whiteboard scholars are studying The Glaive from Krull.
At 0:11:13-A group of Ooligists are studying Fruit Loops on a IOI monitor.
Also at 0:11:13-A Cap N’ Crunch cereal box appears on a scholar’s monitor.
Also at 0:11:13-in the Oology department a liberty island version of the map from Escape From New York appears on the TV screen.
At 0:11:28-while walking up to Aech at the racetrack Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat walks past him.
At 0:11:29-Aech’s form of vehicle for the race is the Bigfoot Monster Truck which started the monster truck business and has appeared in multiple Hot Wheels sets.
At 0:11:48-Aech teases wade about not having enough money for fuel but can get a Something About Mary hairdo referencing the 1998 comedy There’s something about Mary.
At 0:12:09-Wade spawns in The DeLorean Time Machine from Back to the future.
Alright so Ernest Cline said during the New York race you can find Ghostbusters HQ and the apartment building from Batteries Not Included I haven’t found them yet.
At 0:12:29-When the horn for the start of the race blows out of Liberty’s torch the Domino Sugar factory appears behind the statue.
At 0:12:49-A blue F1 racing car from Pole Position gets rammed by an IOI vehicle.
At 0:12:52-Art3mis drives by on Shotaro Kaneda’s bike from Akira.
At 0:13:31-A sticker for the skateboarding brand Thraser appears on Artemis’s bike.
Also at 0:13:31-Two Scratch N’ Sniff stickers appear on Art3mis’s bike specifically a pear and Tomato great job stickers.
At 0:13:37- the K.I.T.T bar from Knight Rider is under the grill of Wade’s DeLorean.
At 0:13:45-When speaking about Art3mis to Aech Wade mentions he has seen all of her Twitch Streams.
At 0:13:53-when going over a ramp wade makes the DeLorean do the Corkscrew Junp from the 1967 James Bond movie The Man With The golden Gun.
At 0:14:03-The Pork Chop Express from the 1986 Kurt Russell film Big Trouble In Little China blocks the road for players.
At 0:14:05-Art3mis’s bike has an Atari decal on it.
At 0:14:08-on the street beside the pork chop express a diner appears named Ratners it was an old dinedeli that opened in New York in 1902.
At 0:14:14-Wade switches the DeLorean to Hover mode from Back To The Future:Part II when he gets a collision warning during the race.
0:14:16-when an IOI racer crashes and wade picks up has coins he’s using an Arcade coin slot machine to do so.
At 0:14:35-An IOI racer crashes in front of the national video centre (it is a place in New York basically a museum for technology like televisions and computers)
At 0:14:40-A Ms. Pac-Man decal appears on Art3mis’s bike.
Also at 0:14:40-The superhero logo from The Greatest American Hero appears on Art3mis’s bike.
At 0:14:41-very hard to see but at the bottom of Art3mis’s bike is a decal for skateboarding brand JFA.
Also at 0:14:41-Art3mis and an IOI racer pass a Movie theatre marquee that reads:Schwarzenegger Jack Slater III referencing the 1993 film-in a film Last Action Hero.
At 0:14:51 Rexy The T-Rex from the Jurassic Park/Jurassic World movies munches on vehicles in Chinatown (for those saying it’s just a random T-Rex it does the same roar as in the movies and has the same scars and marks on it’s face)
At 0:14:58-The final and hardest obstacle of all:King Kong. Like in all of the Kong movies he’s hanging off the Empire State Building circled by 1930’s bi-planes.
At 0:15:12-we get a shot of King Kong destroying rail roads in front of the Silvercups Studios building where the final battle in Highlander took place as well as an actual movie studio.
0:15:16-as Aech skids to a halt in Bigfoot the Batmobile gets knocked off the road right after skidding to the sound of the 1966 Batman tv series theme.
At 0:15:20-A 1975 Wonder Woman decal appears on Art3mis’s bike.
At 0:15:25-behind Aech in the scene where Art3mis jumps over the gap with her bike a Delta City billboard from Robocop appears.
At 0:16:29-When Art3mis brushes herself off from Wade’s rescue The Ace Chemical’s building from Batman appears behind her.
0:16:23-when Art3mis insepects her damaged bike an old advertising billboard called Come to the Caribbean appears behind her.
At 0:16:57-when Wade Aech and Art3mis enter Aech’s workshop Prince’s song I wanna be your lover plays.
Also at 0:16:57-leaning against the wall near the entry is Pee-wee Herman’s bike from Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure.
0:17:08-We all know this one:Aech is working on building an Iron Giant from the animated 1999 film of the same name.
At 0:17:13-A Cylon Raider ship from Battlestar Galactia is hanging on the wall.
At 0:17:22-Aech owns a Fraggle Rock-themed lunchbox to store all his miniature sci-fi ships.
0:17:23-When Wade opens the lunchbox we see various sci-fi ships these conclude of:The Galactia from Battlestar Galactia The Valley Forge From the 1972 sci-fi film Silent Running a colonial Viper from Battlestar Galactia and the Sulaco from Aliens.
At 0:17:24-a miniature model of the Swordfish II from Cowboy Bepbop is on the Aech’s worktable.
At 0:17:31-Wade mentions Aech owning a miniature Harkonnen Drop-ship from Dune and says it could get to Arrakis in seconds (while Arrakis was in the 1965 novel the drop-ship was created for the 1985 movie).
At 0:17:46-A faded mini-poster of Pole Position appears on the pole behind Aech.
At 0:17:47-on another pole below Aech is a poster for the Colecovision video game Gorf.
At 0:17:51-The TARDIS police box from Doctor Who appears behind Aech Wade and Art3mis when talking about repairing the Akira bike.
Also at 0:17:51-hanging from the roof is The Eagle 5 from the 1987 Star Wars parody film Spaceballs.
At 0:17:52-a life-size Swordfish II from Cowboy Bepbop appears in Aech’s workshop waiting for repair.
At 0:17:53-parked in Aech’s workshop is the 1969 250 GT California Ferrari from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
Also at 0:17:53-hanging off the roof of Aech’s workshop is The EVA Pod from the 1968 Kubrick sci-fi classic 2001:A Space Odyssey.
Also at 0:17:53-a life-size Colonial Viper from Battlestar Galactia is hanging off the roof of the workshop.
Also at 0:17:53-The Thunderfighter from Buck Rogers in the 25th century is hanging off the roof of the workshop.
Also at 0:17:53-in the corner of the workshop is the enforcement droid ED-209 from Robocop.
At 0:18:18-Art3mis asks Wade what was Halliday’s favourite first-person shooter game. Wade replies by saying 007 Goldeneye based of the James Bond movie of the same name. His favourite character was Oddjob the villain. And his favourite player mode was slappers only where players could only slap to kill.
At 0:18:30-Art3mis asks what Halliday’s favourite racer game which was the 1981 SEGA game Turbo.
O:18:32-Wade says Halliday’s favourite food was Hot Pockets a microwaveable pizza snack.
Also at 0:18:32-while Wade and Art3mis are talking playing softly in the background is Just my imagination (running away with me) by The Temptation.
At 0:13:33-Wade says Halliday’s favourite restaurant was Chuck E. Cheese which is an Arcade and pizza restaurant. The restaurant’s founder Nolan Bushnell also happened to founded Atari.
At 0:18:35-Wade says Halliday’s favourite song was Video Killed The Radio Star by The Buggles which happens to be the first song to air on MTV in 1980.
At 0:18:37–Wade says Halliday’s favourite music video was A-Ha’s 1985 hit song Take On Me.
At 0:18:42-Wade and Art3mis complete a quote together which was Halliday’s favourite of Gene Hackman’s portrayal of Lex Luthor in Superman:The Movie:Some people can read war and peace and come away thinking it’s a simple adventure story. Others can read the back of a chewing gum paper and unlock the secrets of the universe.
At 0:19:06-before Art3mis and Wade walk away a Castlevaynia poster is on the wall.
At 0:19:98- A Robotron 2084 poster appears on the wall of Aech’s workshop.
Also at 0:19:08-A Joust banner appears on the wall of Aech’s Workshop.
Also at 0:19:08-A GORF banner appears on the wall of Aech’s Workshop.
Also at 0:19:08-A poster for the 1985 Tengen arcade game Gauntlet appears on the wall of Aech’s workshop.
Also at 0:19:08-a poster for Galaga (1983 version) appears on the wall of Aech’s workshop.
At 0:19:54-The PO-024 repair E-Frame from the 90’s cartoon series Exosqaud appears in Aech’s workshop.
At 0:20:01:Art3mis nicknames Wade McFly referencing Marty McFly Back To The Future series.
At 0:20:39-You’ll need to turn the brightness up but when Rick holds up one of Wade’s gloves a Batman and SEGA sticker are on it.
At 0:21:54-Wade explains that his name Wade Watts was supposed to sound like a superhero’s alter-ego and examples Bruce Banner A.K.A The Hulk and Peter Parker A.K.A Spider-Man from Marvel Comics.
At 0:22:39-When Wade grabs out his OASIS visor a Street Fighter decal is on the side of it.
Also at 0:22:39A Midway games decal (a company who manufactured mainly all 80’s and 90’s arcade games) is on the top of Wade’s visor.
At 0:22:41-George Michael’s 1985 song Faith plays when Wade enters the Halliday Journals.
At 0:22:48-The interior design of the Halliday Journals is taking directly from the Shermer High library from The Breakfast Club.
At 0:22:50-Hello Kitty is sitting down at one of the journal’s tables interacting with another player.
At 0:22:52-A Ms. Pac-Man arcade cabinet is behind The Curator’s desk.
Also at 0:22:52:-A Dig Dug arcade cabinet is behind The Curator’s desk.
Also at 0:22:52-A Tempest arcade cabinet is behind The Curator’s desk.
At 0:22:56-The Curator’s design is based off Jeeves from the 1990 search engine Ask Jeeves.com
At 0:23:06-an Asteroids arcade cabinet is behind The Curator’s desk.
At 0:23:06-A Pong arcade cabinet is behind The Curator’s desk.
At 0:23:06-A Pole Position arcade cabinet is behind The Curator’s desk.
At 0:23:19-In one of Halliday’s recreated memories Halliday is playing in an Arcade with games like Joust Asteroids and Tempest.
At 0:23:20-A Revenge Of The Nerds poster is up on the wall in the recreated memory Wade and The Curator walk by.
At 0:23:23-Alright buckle up becuase there are a lot of stuff to cover: In Halliday’s cluttered room there are things such as an Astro Boy mask a vintage packet of Lays Potato Chips a Ladyhawke poster a speak and spell some Madballs a copy of Schindler’s Ark and a Raiders Of The Lost Ark poster.
At 0:23:39-Wade and The Curator walk past a memory labelled:Halliday playing his Atari 2600 with a carving of an Atari 2600 at the bottom.
Also at 0:23:39-The game Halliday is playing on his Atari 2600 is Defender.
Also at 0:23:39-Various toys and collectibles are scattered throughout Halliday’s room concluding of:A Marvin The Martian toy A Gizmo plush from Gremlins a toy model of The A-Team Van A Batman statue posters for Wargames and Rush 2112 Connect Four A SIMON toy an Etch-E-Sketch and a Castle Greyskrull play-set from Masters Of The Universe with He-Man and Skeletor action figures
At 0:23:41-A Framed poster for Black Tiger appears on the wall of The Gregarious Games breakroom.
Also at 0:23:41:In The Gregarious Games breakroom a framed poster for Legend Of Zelda:A Link To The Past is on the wall.
Also at 0:23:41-Further down the hall of the breakroom is a framed poster for Mortal Kombat.
At 0:23:51-Halliday and Ogden Morrow have a conversation about living in an Asteroids Arcade cabinet.
At 0:23:56-Halliday in the memory is wearing a Space Invaders shirt.
At 0:24:16-A framed poster for Galaga (1986 version) appears behind Morrow in the breakroom.
At 0:25:25-Halliday references Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure when talking about going backwards.
At 0:26:01-A Hello Kitty decal appears on Art3mis’s bike.
At 0:26:22-While it’s never said in the movie the Suxors is graffitied on the pedestal of Liberty (it was a nickname for the Sixers in the novel)
At 0:26:59-When Wade gets to King Kong’s stage Max Steiner’s 1933 original theme for King Kong plays.
At 0:27:44-Anorak says to Wade nice racing Padawan referencing the Jedi Apprentices in the Star Wars franchise
At 0:29:12-Ripley’s cargo-Holder from Alien appears on Planet Doom in Nolan Sorrento’s presentation.
At 0:29:23-In Sorrento’s OASIS IOI ad presentation Man-Bat from Batman:Arkham Knight appears on planet doom getting shot at.
At 0:29:24-In Nolan Sorrento’s presentation a pop-up ad for the EM-1 railgun from Eraser appears.
At 0:29:38-Bruce Springsteen’s song Stand On It begins to play.
At 0:29:40-Wade and Aech go to a mall called Avatar Outfitters referencing the store Urban Outfitters.
Also at 0:29:40-The Logo for Avatar Outfitters has the same calligraphic A as in the title for James Cameron’s film Avatar.
At 0:29:43-A Street Fighter booth at Avatar outfitters are selling combat moves as a holographic RYU does an uppercut move.
At 0:29:54-Blue Beetle from Injustice 2 is walking around the store.
At 0:29:54-An Overwatch booth at Avatar Outfitters is selling Pulse Pistols as a holographic Tracer does her spin.
Also at 0:29:54-A Dungeons And Dragons booth is selling magic spells.
At 0:29:59- booth in Avatar outfitters is selling weapons with a holographic Claptrap (a character in the game)
A4 0:29:59-Halo booth is selling assault rifles with holographic images of Master Chief.
At 0:29:59-in the far back left of the booths A Looney Tunes booth with a holographic Marvin The Martian appears.
At 0:29:59-In the far back right an Injustice booth appears (I can’t identify the hologram though). (Zoom In required).
At 0:29:59-A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles booth appears in the far back with a hologram of Raphael (zoom-in required)
At 0:30:02-One of the items available for purchase in the iconic items booth is The Holy Hand Grenade from the 1975 Monty python film Monty Python and The Holy Grail.
At 0:30:07-while I can’t identify the actual item because it goes too fast but Wade runs past an item in the iconic item section with the Blizzard Entertainment logo printed underneath it.
At 0:30:07-Wade Runs past Dust-Brain from the Madballs toy line in the iconic items section.
At 0:30:08-Wade runs past The Peltzer Peeler Juicer from Gremlins in the iconic times section.
Also at 0:30:08-Wade runs by A Chucky doll from Child’s Play (which is where Aech presumably got the one used on Planet Doom) in the iconic times section.
At 0:30:09-Wade runs past a Plasma Pistol from Halo in the iconic items section.
At 0:30:11-Wade walks up and buys a magical item The Zemeckis Cube which is of course a Rubik’s Cube named after Back To The Future Director Robert Zemeckis that has the ability to slow and turn back time.
At 0:30:13-A hologram of The Wolf-Man appears next to The Zemeckis Cube booth.
At 0:31:05:When Nolan Sorrento enters the OASIS he is transported to the wreckage of a Tripod fighting machine from War Of The Worlds (1953 George Pal version)
At 0:31:29-Sorrento’s avatar Bossman59 features a Clark Kent hair curl from Superman.
At 0:31:52-I-ROK flicks away Perseus’s Shield from the 1981 version of Clash Of The Titans (sigh)(I-ROK has no respect for classics)
Also at 0:31:52-Indiana Jone’s whip from the Indiana Jones franchise is laying besides the shield.
At 0:31:58-I-ROK picks up the head of an eliminated player The Steampunk Pirate King and does a misquoted reference to William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet. I-ROK says I knew him well Sorrento parodying the line to Yorick:Alas Yorrick!! I knew him Horatio.
At 0:32:18-In the pile of weapons are tow Boomshot guns from Gears of Wars.
Also at 0:32:18-The Colonial Blaster from Battlestar Galactia appears in the pile of weapons.
Also at 0:23:18-Two Batarangs from Batman are scatted around the weapons pile.
At 0:32:22-The M1911 Colt pistol from Duke Nukem is also in the weapons pile.
Also at 0:32:22-The box containing The Orb Of Osuvox is the Mogwai box that Gizmo was kept in at the start of Gremlins
At 0:32:29-The inside of the orb is a polyhedral D20 dice used in Dungeons and Dragons.
At 0:33:11-When talking about the price of Parzival’s elimination from The Scoreboard I-ROK references a Tootsie Pop commercial with Mr. Owl biting to the chocolaty centre.
At 0:33:51-The vehicle Daito uses to get to the finish line is The Mach 5 from Speed Racer.
At 0:33:54-Sho pulls up to the finish line in a Smokey (literally) 1977 Trans Am Pontiac used in Smokey and The Bandit.
At 0:34:22-When Wade is reciting the Jade Key clue excerpt in his notebook he has linked the last two words in the clue: At Last” could be a possible reference to the song of the same now (doesn’t specify which one though)
At 0:34:29- On a piece of paper taped to the wall Wade has written down locations you can visit in the OASIS these conclude off-
The Star Wars Galaxy The Star Trek Universe Middle-Earth from J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord Of The Rings/Hobbit. Vulcan from Star Trek Pern from Dragonriders of Pern Arrakis from Dune Magrathea from The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy Discworld from the book series of the same name Ring-world from the book series of the same name River-world from the book series of the same name.
From 0:34:30 to 0:34:31-taped to the wall is a list of John Hughes movies these conclude of-
National Lampoon’s Vacation Sixteen Candles Weird Science Breakfast Club Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Pretty In Pink Some Kind Of Wonderful Planes Trains and Automobiles Uncle Buck Home Alone Home Alone 2:Lost In New York
At 0:34:32-Taped to the wall is Wade’s analysis of the funeral scene in Halliday’s Last Message video. It is a breakdown of all the Star Trek Easter eggs in the scene including the Starfleet logo U.S.S. Enterprise and the photo torpedo
At 0:34:33-At the bottom of a Newspaper article taped to the wall of Wade’s Van it reads:OASIS Coin the next Dollar? A sly reference to Bit-Coin video game currency.
At 0:34:40-On a piece of paper taped to the wall Wade has written down the rules of The OASIS just like the book and it mentions Everquest the MMORPG Game.
At 0:35:30-On the right besides Kira and Morrow’s picture is a list of movies labelled: Set In New York
These conclude of-Ghostbusters. Big (1988 Tom Hanks) has been crossed out on the list. Mad Max (it was in Australia though?) The cannonball Run. King Kong . Escape From New York is highlighted on the list. See No Evil (1971 horror movie). And another misplaced title Back To The Future despite being set in California
At 0:35:19-Wade has written down instructions of how to get to the secret room in Adventure foreshadowing the climax.
At 0:35:21-When Wade goes back to the Halliday Journals Blondie’s song One Way Or Another plays.
At 0:35:27-The Arkham Knight passes Wade when he is exiting The Halliday Journals (he later returns inside)
At 0:35:28-A younger version of Beetlejuice spots Wade when Wade enters The Journals.
At 0:35:29-Supergirl from Injustice 2 jumps out of her seat to greet Wade.
At 0:35:31-Raiden from Mortal Kombat is sitting down at one of the Journal’s tables.
At 0:35:34-Dizzy Wallin from Gears Of Wars 2 runs up to the crowd that mobs Wade.
At 0:35:37-Blue Beetle from Injustice 2 is one of the fans in the crowd.
Also at 0:35:37-Ambra from Battleborn is one of the fans in the crowd.
At 0:35:38-Batgirl from Batman is one of the fans in the crowd.
At 0:35:47-Goro from Mortal Kombat pulls Wade away from his fans.
At 0:35:48-Lara Croft from Tomb Raider is one of the fans in the crowd.
At 0:36:02-When being led into a secret room Wade gets pranked by a Chestburster from Alien popping out of Goro’s chest revealed to be a puppet by Art3mis.
At 0:36:36-Art3mis pulls out Clark Kent Glasses from Superman and puts them on Wade for a disguise while roaming The Journals.
At 0:35:46-While Wade with his Clark Kent disguise goes into the archives Miko from Battleborn is behind him.
At 0:36:49-Benedict from Battleborn is behind Wade when Wade enters The Archives.
At 0:36:51-When Wade and Art3mis are entering The Archives an avatar behind them is wearing a pink Michael Jackson jacket.
At 0:37:00-In the memory outside of Halliday and Morrow’s office is a framed Metroid Japanese printed poster (original 1986 game)
At 0:37:03-Behind Art3mis Wade and The Curator is another memory which is set in The Happytime pizzeria from the novel.
At 0:37:17-There are some action figures on Morrow’s desk. One I can make out his Triceraton from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990).
At 0:37:32-When Halliday is talking to Sorrento you can see he is designing the Room 237 Bathroom from The Shining on his computer.
Also at 0:37:32-The Billy Idol album Don’t Stop is on Halliday’s desk.
At 0:37:44-A copy of Dungeon Magazine is lying on Halliday’s desk (I could not identify which issue though)
At 0:37:49-In a blink and you miss it moment when The Curator is fast-forwarding the Memory a framed Pole Position poster is outside the office.
At 0:37:53-On the shelf behind the desk is Def Leppard’s 1983 album Pyromania (zoom-in required)
At 0:38:02-While having a conversation with Morrow about the date with Karen Halliday says she prefers to be called Kira after the character in Jim Henson’s 1982 film The Dark Crystal.
At 0:38:39-As mentioned above the memory behind the three is of Halliday hanging out at The Happytime Pizzeria but in this frame you can see he is playing Joust.
At 0:39:48-Wade figures out that Kira is the centre of the 2nd clue and calls her Halliday’s Rosebud referencing the lost sled Rosebud in Citizen Kane.
At 0:40:02-When Art3mis flips the quarter The Curator gives to Wade it makes the sound effect of a 1-up from the Super Mario Bros. Games.
At 0:40:17-Earth Wind and Fire’s 1975 song Can’t find love plays when Art3mis asks Wade on a date.
Alright in Aech’s 80’s basement recreation there is soo much Easter eggs and memorabilia so forgive me if I miss any.
At 0:40:46-posted on the wall is a Save Ferris poster from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off another Metroid poster and white Space Invader decals.
At 0:40:46-hanging from the wall is the neon sign for the dream bar Cocktails and Dreams in the 1988 Tom cruise film Cocktail.
At 0:40:46-below the sign is a Dark Crystal poster.
At 0:40:46-Ripping through the floor is the nuclear rocket from Weird Science.
At 0:40:46-A Pac-Man bin lies besides a Pac-Man arcade cocktail cabinet.
At 0:40:46-an Airplane! VHS tape is on top of boxes.
At 0:40:46-multiple VHS tapes for the 1986 Jim Henson film Labyrinth are scattered around the floor of the hangout.
At 0:40:06-Retro packets for Potato Chips brands Lays and Ruffles lay against the coffee table.
At 0:40:06-Incredibly hard to see but under a pile of VHS tapes is a VHS tape of Caddyshack (zoom-in required)
At 0:40:46-Marty Mcfly Jr.’s rainbow cap from Back To The Future:Part II lies besides an vinyl record player.
At 0:40:06-Lying against the wall is an Emulator II keyboard used in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
At 0:40:46-on the wall besides the couch are three mini-posters stuck on it:A Donkey Kong arcade poster A Pole Position II poster and a 1983 Galaga poster.
At 0:40:06-A Kermit The Frog plush from The Muppets is lying against a shelf besides a Hot Wheels play-set.
At 0:40:06-An ALF plush from the 1986 sitcom ALF is sitting on top of the television
At 0:40:06-A Speak &Spell used in E.T. The Extra Terrestrial is lying on the shelf.
At 0:40:50-A Beastmaster poster is next to the mirror.
At 0:40:50-A Star Trek:The Motion Picture poster is in the corner of the room above The Emulator II Keyboard (you need to turn brightness full up to see)
At 0:40:50-A copy Analog Computing magazine #10 is leaning against the crate below Wade’s feet.
At 0:40:50-above the mirror is a Mayor Goldie Wilson election poster from Back To The Future. A Wil Wheaton election poster is across from Wilson’s one (if you recall Wheaton was the Vice President of the OASIS in the novel)
At 0:40:50-In a blue crate below Wade’s feet is Run D.M.C’s 1986 album Tougher Than Lever.
At 0:40:50-A Wargames poster is on the wall besides the mirror.
At 0:40:50- the first issue for Nintendo Power featuring Super Mario Bros. is located on a stack of magazines in Aech’s hang-out
At 0:40:50-A Big Trouble In Little China poster is located behind a chair in Aech’s hang-out.
At 0:40:50-A cutout of Tom Selleck’s face from Magnum P.I. Is posted on the wall in Aech’s hang-out.
At 0:40:50-A Cookie Monster cookie jar from Sesame Street is on the the bench in the hang-out
At 0:40:50-A poster for Labyrinth is next to the Tom Selleck cutout
At 0:40:50-A Cap N’ Crunch cereal box is laying on the counter next to an overturned Fruit Loops cereal box.
At 0:40:50-at the very far back of the counter is The Peltzer Peeler Juicer from Gremlins
At 0:40:51-Wade selects Prince’s Purple Rain outfit for a possible outfit for his date.
At 0:40:54-In the reflection of the mirror a Breakfast Club poster is seen.
At 0:40:57-Wade switches his outfit to Michael Jackson’s Thriller costume and even does the dance (one of my favourite artists along Queen who are unfortunately not referenced in the film)
At 0:40:57-Next to the mirror is the original poster for Mad Max.
At 0:40:58 White decals for Space Invaders are scattered on the pillar next to Aech.
At 0:40:58 The Pink Mattel Hoverboard from Back To The Future Part II is leaning against the wall.
At 0:40:58-On the coffee table are retro cans for Coca-Cola Pepsi and Tab (along with some D20 from D&D)
At 0:40:58-Below the coffee table is a E.T. The Extra Terrestrial VHS tape
At 0:40:58-The sword of omens from Thundercats is leaning against the wall next to the couch.
At 0:40:58-on the table next to the hula-girl lamp is the Golden Idol from Raiders Of The Lost Ark.
At 0:41:00-A Mad Max 2 poster is behind Wade when trying out outfits.
At 0:41:00-A Legend Of Zelda:A Link To The Past mini-poster is behind Wade.
At 0:41:02-Hanging from the ceiling is a miniature Thunderfighter from Buck Rogers In The 25th Century.
At 0:41:02-A Banner for 1980 video game Missile Command is on the wall behind Aech.
At 0:41:04-On the back of Wade’s punk outfit is the logo for 80’s rock band The Dead Kennedy’s
At 0:41:05-Wade switches to a Nick Rhodes outfit from the band Duran Duran.
At 0:41:07-David’s computer speaker from WarGames is on top of the cocktail cabinet.
At 0:41:07-in a pile of VHS tapes is a VHS tape for Breakin’ (or Breakdance) is on the floor.

The Week In Review: Suburban News of the Past Week (5/8/16)

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DEMOLITION DAYS, Part 47

I will attempt to name every Ready Player One Easter Egg Reference Cameo and details. Will be updated and feel free to help out in the comments.

The Week In Review: Suburban News of the Past Week (5/8/16)

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