Welcome to Lost in the Sauce, keeping you caught up on political and legal news that often gets buried in distractions and theater… or a global health crisis.
Title refers to: The Trump admin is blocking IGs from getting info on over $1 trillion in relief spending, including corporation bailouts. The admin is also withholding PPP info from Congress, meaning we don't know if Trump or his family took taxpayer money. Additionally, we learned that at least 4 members of Congress have benefited from PPP money, but aren't required to disclose it.
Housekeeping:

• HOW TO SUPPORT: I know we are all facing unprecedented financial hardships right now. If you are in the position to support my work, I have a patreon, venmo, and a paypal set up. No pressure though, I will keep posting these pieces no matter what.
  
• NOTIFICATIONS: You can signup to receive notifications when these posts are done.
  

Coronavirus

Inspectors general warned Congress last week that the Trump administration is blocking scrutiny of more than $1 trillion in spending related to the Covid-19 pandemic. According to the previously undisclosed letter, Department of Treasury attorneys concluded that the administration is not required to provide the watchdogs with information about the beneficiaries of programs like the $500 billion in loans for corporations.
Treasury Secretary Mnuchin refused to provide Congress with the names of recipients of the taxpayer-funded coronavirus business loans. After criticism, Mnuchin began to walk back his denial, saying he will talk to lawmakers on a bipartisan basis “to strike the appropriate balance for proper oversight” of PPP loans “and appropriate protection of small business information.”
At least 4 lawmakers have benefited in some way from the Paycheck Protection program they helped create. Politico has been told there are almost certainly more -- but there are zero disclosure rules, even for members of Congress.

• Republicans on the list include Rep. Roger Williams of Texas, a wealthy businessman who owns auto dealerships, body shops and car washes, and Rep. Vicky Hartzler of Missouri, whose family owns multiple farms and equipment suppliers across the Midwest. The Democrats count Rep. Susie Lee of Nevada, whose husband is CEO of a regional casino developer, and Rep. Debbie Mucarsel Powell of Florida, whose husband is a senior executive at a restaurant chain that has since returned the loan.

Mick Mulvaney dumped as much as $550,000 in stocks the same day Trump assured the public the US economy was 'doing fantastically' amid the COVID-19 outbreak. Mulvaney unloaded his holdings in three different mutual funds, each of which is primarily made up of US stocks. The next day, the value of the mutual funds tanked.

Cases rising in many states

Good summary: There was supposed to be a peak. But the stark turning point, when the number of daily COVID-19 cases in the U.S. finally crested and began descending sharply, never happened. Instead, America spent much of April on a disquieting plateau, with every day bringing about 30,000 new cases and about 2,000 new deaths. This pattern exists because different states have experienced the coronavirus pandemic in very different ways…The U.S. is dealing with a patchwork pandemic.
As of Friday, coronavirus cases were significantly climbing in 16 states: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nevada, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, and Washington.
Oklahoma is experiencing a massive increase in coronavirus cases just days before Trump’s planned rally in Tulsa. In Tulsa county itself, 1 in roughly 390 people have tested positive. Yet Trump plans on cramming 20,000 people in an event with voluntary face mask policy and no social distancing. Attendees must sign a waiver that absolves the president’s campaign of any liability from virus-related illnesses.

• On Monday, Pence lied saying that Oklahoma has “flattened the curve.” As you can see at any of the resources immediately below, this is not even close to true. Over the past 14 days, the state has seen a 124% increase in cases and reports 65% of ICU beds are in use.
  
• Tulsa World Editorial Board: This is the wrong time and Tulsa is the wrong place for the Trump rally. "We don't know why he chose Tulsa, but we can’t see any way that his visit will be good for the city...Again, Tulsa will be largely alone in dealing with what happens at a time when the city’s budget resources have already been stretched thin."
  
• Earlier in the day, Trump tweeted that he is a victim of double standards when it comes to perception of his decision to resume campaign rallies in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, declaring that attempts to “covid shame” his campaign “won’t work!”
  

Resources to track increases: There are many different sites with various methods of visualizing the spread of coronavirus. Here are some that may be particularly useful this summer… Topos COVID-19 compiler homepage and graphs of each state since re-opening. How we reopen Safely has stats on each state’s progress towards meeting benchmarks to reopen safely (hint: almost none have reached all the checkpoints). WaPo has a weekly national map of cases/deaths; the largest regional clusters are in the southeast.
On Monday, Trump twice said that “if we stop testing right now, we’d have very few cases, if any,” (video). Aside from the fact that cases exist even if we don’t test for them, we cannot explain the rising number of cases by increased testing capacity: In at least 14 states, the positive case rate is increasing faster than the increase in the average number of tests.

• Reminder: In March Trump told Fox News that he didn't want infected patients from a cruise ship to disembark because it would increase the number of reported cases in the US. "I like the numbers being where they are," Trump said at the time. "I don't need to have the numbers double because of one ship that wasn't our fault."

Fired scientist Rebekah Jones builds coronavirus dashboard to rival Florida’s… Her site shows thousands more people with the coronavirus, and hundreds of thousands fewer who have been tested, than the site run by the Florida Health Department.

Equipment and supplies

More studies prove wearing masks limits transmission and spread of coronavirus… One study from Britain found that routine face mask use by 50% or more of the population reduced COVID-19 spread to an R of less than 1.0. The R value measures the average number of people that one infected person will pass the disease on to. An R value above 1 can lead to exponential growth. The study found that if people wear masks whenever they are in public it is twice as effective at reducing the R value than if masks are only worn after symptoms appear.
Meanwhile, Trump officials refuse to wear masks and Trump supporters copy his behavior… VP Mike Pence, leader of the coronavirus task force, published a tweet showing himself in a room full of Trump staffers, none wearing masks or practicing social distancing. Pence deleted the tweet shortly after criticism. A poll last week showed that 66% of likely-Biden-voters “always wear a mask,” while 83% of likely-Trump-voters “neverarely wear a mask.”

• Trump’s opposition to face masks hasn’t stopped him from selling them to his supporters, though. The online Trump Store is selling $20 cotton American flag-themed face masks.
  
• Yesterday, we learned that South Carolina Republican Rep. Tom Rice and family have tested positive for the coronavirus. Just two weeks ago, Rice was on the House floor and halls of the Capitol without wearing a mask.
  

Internal FEMA data show that the government’s supply of surgical gowns has not meaningfully increased since March… The slides show FEMA’s plan to ramp up supply into June and July hinges on the reusing of N95 masks and surgical gowns, increasing the risk of contamination. Those are supposed to be disposed of after one use.
Nursing homes with urgent needs for personal protective equipment say they’re receiving defective equipment as part of Trump administration supply initiative. Officials say FEMA is sending them gowns that look more like large tarps -- with no holes for hands -- and surgical masks that are paper-thin.
More than 1,300 Chinese medical-device companies that registered to sell PPE in the U.S. during the coronavirus pandemic used bogus registration data… These companies listed as their American representative a purported Delaware entity that uses a false address and nonworking phone number.
Florida is sitting on more than 980,000 unused doses of hydroxychloroquine, but hospitals don’t want it… Gov. Ron DeSantis ordered a million doses of the drug to show support for Trump, but very few hospitals have requested it.

Native American communities struggle

The CARES Act money for Native American tribes, meant to assist people during the pandemic, came with restrictions that are impeding efforts to limit the transmission of the virus. For instance, the funds can only be used to cover expenses that are "incurred due to the public health emergency." On the Navajo Nation, the public health emergency is inherently related to some basic infrastructure problems. 30% of Navajo don’t have running water to wash their hands, but the money can’t be used to build water lines.
Federal and state health agencies are refusing to give Native American tribes and organizations representing them access to data showing how the coronavirus is spreading around their lands, potentially widening health disparities and frustrating tribal leaders already ill-equipped to contain the pandemic. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has turned down tribal epidemiologists’ requests for data that it’s making freely available to states.
A Hospital’s Secret Coronavirus Policy Separated Native American Mothers From Their Newborns… Pregnant Native American women were singled out for COVID-19 testing based on their race and ZIP code, clinicians say. While awaiting results, some mothers were separated from their newborns, depriving them of the immediate contact doctors recommend. New Mexico Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham announced that state officials would investigate the allegations.

Personnel & appointees

Former IG Steve Linick told Congress he was conducting five investigations into Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and the State Department before he was fired. In addition to investigating Pompeo's potential misuse of taxpayer funds and reviewing his decision to expedite an $8 billion arms sale to Saudi Arabia, Linick’s office was conducting an audit of Special Immigrant Visas, a review of the International Women of Courage Award, and another review "involving individuals in the Office of the Protocol."

• Pompeo confidant emerges as enforcer in fight over watchdog’s firing: Linick testified that Undersecretary of State for Management Brian Bulatao, a decades-old friend of Pompeo’s, “tried to bully [him]” out of investigating Pompeo.

Trump has empowered John McEntee, director of the Presidential Personnel Office, to make significant staffing changes inside top federal agencies without the consent — and, in at least one case, without even the knowledge — of the agency head. Many senior officials in Trump's government are sounding alarms about the loss of expertise and institutional knowledge.
Trump’s nominee for under secretary of defense for policy, retired Army Brig. Gen. Anthony Tata, has a history of making Islamophobic and inflammatory remarks against prominent Democratic politicians, including falsely calling former President Barack Obama a Muslim.
Amid racial justice marches, GOP advances Trump court pick hostile to civil rights. Cory Wilson, up for a lifetime seat on the U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals for the 5th Circuit, has denied that restrictive voting laws lead to voter suppression and called same-sex marriage “a pander to liberal interest groups.”
Interior Secretary David Bernhardt has indefinitely extended the terms of the acting directors of the Bureau of Land Management and the National Park Service, sidestepping the typical Senate confirmation process for those posts and violating the Federal Vacancies Reform Act,

Courts and DOJ

The Supreme Court declined on Monday to take a closer look at qualified immunity, the legal doctrine that shields law enforcement and government officials from lawsuits over their conduct. Developed in recent decades by the high court, the qualified immunity doctrine, as applied to police, initially asks two questions: Did police use excessive force, and if they did, should they have known that their conduct was illegal because it violated a "clearly established" prior court ruling that barred such conduct? In practice, however, lower courts have most often dismissed police misconduct lawsuits on grounds that there is no prior court decision with nearly identical facts.
The Supreme Court ruled that federal anti-discrimination laws protect gay and transgender employees. Justice Neil M. Gorsuch and Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. joined the court’s liberals in the 6 to 3 ruling. They said Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination “because of sex,” includes LGBTQ employees.

• Alito, writing more than 100 pages in dissent for himself and Thomas, accused the court's majority of writing legislation, not law. Kavanaugh wrote separately: "We are judges, not members of Congress...Under the Constitution and laws of the United States, this court is the wrong body to change American law in that way."
  
• Just days before the SCOTUS opinion was released, the Trump administration finalized a rule that would remove nondiscrimination protections for LGBTQ people when it comes to health care and health insurance. The SCOTUS ruling may make it easier to challenge the changes made by Trump.
  

The Supreme Court also declined to take up California’s “sanctuary” law, denying the Trump administration’s appeal. This means that the lower court opinion upholding one of California's sanctuary laws is valid, limiting cooperation between law enforcement and federal immigration authorities. Justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito, two of the Court's conservative members, supported taking up the case.
A federal appeals court appeared unlikely Friday to stop a judge from examining why the Justice Department sought to walk away from its prosecution of Michael Flynn. "I don't see why we don't observe regular order," said Judge Karen Henderson. "Why not hold this in abeyance and see what happens?" Judge Robert Wilkins told Flynn's lawyer that if Sullivan doesn't let the government drop the case, "then you can come back here on appeal."

Other

Good read: Fiona Hill on being mistaken as a secretary by Trump, her efforts to make sure he was not left alone with Putin, and what the US, UK and Russia have in common. “It’s spitting in Merkel’s face,” said Vladimir Frolov, a former Russian diplomat who’s now a foreign-policy analyst. “But it’s in our interests.”

• Russia’s Foreign Ministry welcomed Trump’s plan to withdraw more than a quarter of U.S. troops from Germany.
  
• Op-Ed: Why cutting American forces in Germany will harm this alliance
  

According to a new book, the Secret Service had to seek more funding to cover the cost of protecting Melania Trump while she stayed in NYC to renegotiate her prenup - taxpayers paid tens of millions of dollars to allow her to get better terms. Additionally, NYPD estimated its own costs conservatively at $125,000 a day.
Georgia election 'catastrophe' in largely minority areas sparks investigation. Long lines, lack of voting machines, and shortages of primary ballots plagued voters. As of Monday night, there were still over 200,000 uncounted votes.
Fox News runs digitally altered images in coverage of Seattle’s protests, Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone
Fox News Mocked After Mistaking Monty Python Joke for Seattle Protest Infighting
In addition to holding a rally on the day after Juneteenth (originally scheduled the day of), Trump will be accepting the GOP nomination in Jacksonville on the 60th anniversary of “Ax Handle Saturday,” a KKK attack on African Americans.
Environmental news:

• Ruling against environmentalists, the U.S. Supreme Court decided that the federal government has the authority to allow a proposed $7.5 billion natural gas pipeline to cross under the popular Appalachian Trail in rural Virginia.
  
• Trump administration has issued a new rule blocking tribes from protecting their waters from projects like pipelines, dams, and coal terminals.
  
• The EPA published a proposal in the Federal Register that critics described as an assault on minority communities coping with the public health legacy of structural racism. The rule would bar EPA from giving special consideration to individual communities that bear the brunt of environmental risks — frequently populations of color.
  
• The Trump administration is preparing to drill off Florida’s coast, but says it will wait until after the November election to avoid any backlash from Florida state leaders.
  

Immigration news

• U.S. Customs and Border Protection used emergency funding meant for migrant families and children to pay for dirt bikes, canine supplies, computer equipment and other enforcement related-expenditures… The money was meant to be spent on “consumables and medical care” for migrants at the border.
  
• ACLU files lawsuit against stringent border restrictions related to coronavirus that largely bar migrants from entering the United States.
  
• Under Trump’s leadership, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services has mismanaged its finances so badly that it has sought an emergency $1.2 billion infusion from taxpayers. When Trump took office, USCIS inherited a budget surplus. A large amount of funding is drained by its deliberate creation of more busy work for immigrants and their lawyers — as well as thousands of USCIS employees. These changes are designed to make it harder for people to apply for, receive or retain lawful immigration status.
  
• Asylum-seeking migrants locked up inside an Arizona ICE detention center with one of the highest number of confirmed COVID-19 cases say they were forced to clean the facility and are 'begging' for protection from the virus
  
• ICE plans to spend $18 million on thousands of new tasers and the training to use them
  

The following contains a transcript from a short radio broadcast that has been picked up by various listeners across the continental United States. Many have been perplexed by its sudden appearance and how it seems to preempt whatever song or radio program they are listening to at the time. It has even been known to appear on streaming programs such as podcasts or Spotify. Listeners have described hearing different episodes and there have been many situations and incidents.
A 23 year old college student named Yuvisela contacted me with her account of hearing the broadcast. She and her boyfriend had encountered the broadcast while driving one sultry summer afternoon from Austin, TX.
So I have this thing with waterfalls. I’m a little obsessed with them. In my free time and when I’m not paying attention in lecture, I like to look on the internet at pictures of them and daydream that I’m there: the roar of the splashing water, the white foamy spray, my bare toes dipped into the icy spring. I’ve got a Pinterest page with hundreds of falls that I would like to visit one day. Niagara, Havasu, Victoria Falls, Gullfoss, Iguazu; they’re all on there. I keep them all catalogued for my bucket list.
Yet, how many people go to the grave with their bucket list hardly finished? I bet a lot.
My boyfriend, Gabriel, likes to mess with me about my obsession. He’ll come up behind me while I’m on my computer or look over my shoulder at my phone and see that I’m looking at waterfalls.
“Don’t go chasing waterfalls, stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to,” he’ll sing when he catches me. It’s this old song he knows, TLC or something. He’s about six years older than me. I’ll joke with him to leave me alone and quit singing that old music, ask him if he used to listen to that on an 8-track or something.
“No, my older sister listened to it on CD. You know CD’s? Those little plastic things with the holes in them? That little slot in your car’s stereo, a CD goes in there. They don’t make ‘em in the new cars anymore.”
We’ve had a variation of this same conversation a bunch of times. It’s kind of a running joke between the two of us—him poking fun at my waterfall obsession and me making fun of how old he is—and while he thinks the waterfall thing is a cute little quirk of mine, he also has been supportive of my passion. That’s why he surprised me with the trip that summer. He knew that I was yearning to see some of these places. He knew that he wanted to make me happy. He knew that my resources were limited. He knew that we weren’t getting any younger; I was 23 and still had a semester to go.
But he also knew that we weren’t getting any richer, either. At least not anytime soon. I know I’m a little bit older for a college student, but it’s taken me a bit longer on account of having to work and stuff. I can’t take a full load every semester. Money’s always tight. I work full time and barely stay ahead, even sending some of my money to help my mom out. Gabriel offered to help me out some and we’d even talked about moving in together, but we had only been together a year at that point and I wasn’t quite ready.
Before my dad had passed, I’d promised him that I was going to get my college degree and I wanted to do it all on my own. While I loved Gabriel and could see myself marrying him, I didn’t want to deal with a transition like that so close to the finish line. Besides, we were getting along so well as it was. Why mess with a good thing?
And it was a good thing that kept better. Just when I thought that I couldn’t love Gabriel more, on my birthday he surprised me with the best present I’ve ever gotten. It was a little black notebook with this kind of leathery cover. While the notebook itself was nice, it was what was inside that was the true present. At some point, he had gone onto my Pinterest page and written down page after page of waterfalls, organizing them by country and state. He had put little squares beside them, boxes to check off. The last two pages were Texas and Oklahoma. He had written a note there. It read:

“Let’s start now...”
-Gabriel

* * *
So far, the trip had been a blast. We had started out in Abilene where we both lived and where I attended college. From there, we went to a place called Gorman Falls at this state park. It was one of the tallest waterfalls in the state and all of the foliage and moss around it was lush and green and for a while, if I crossed my eyes just right it was like I wasn’t even in Texas.
We couldn’t hit all the sites in a day. It was a road trip with multiple nights in hotels. After Gorman Falls and staying at a hotel, we headed towards Austin and stopped off at Hamilton Pool Preserve. The waterfall wasn’t as tall as Gorman, but I have to say I liked it better. The water formed a curtain as it poured off of a rocky shelf and into this sunken grotto of blue green water.
We stayed at this magical place for hours, swimming in the water and soaking up the sun. I could’ve stayed longer, but it was starting to get crowded, so we headed to Austin for a night on the town on 6th Street.
The next day we slept in and got a late start on the road. Lunch was at a Whataburger outside Waco. We sat and ate our food and looked at our phones. I browsed Instagram and my eyes skimmed over a gorgeous site. Yep, another waterfall. I slid my phone over to Gabriel.
“Look!” I said.
“Am I supposed to be looking at the butt or the waterfall?” he asked. An Instagram model was standing with her back to the camera, looking up at the water in awe.
“The waterfall, silly.”
“Seriously, that skinny white girl ain’t got nothing on you. Better let me take a look, just to be sure.”
I stood and twirled around quickly, teasing him. “Ok, so back to the waterfall. Did you look at it?”
“Yeah, it’s beautiful babe. Where was this one?”
“Iceland,” I sighed.
“Oh, right.”
“It’s not looking good for the time being. Maybe in a few years, yeah?”
“Just gotta see how the election goes. I ain’t holding my breath.”
See, neither of us were U.S. citizens. We were what you call DACA recipients. Both of us had wound up in America via illegal means on behalf of our parents, back when we were kids. This was when we were too young to have any say in the matter. I can hardly remember my life before, my life back in Mexico. I grew up here, went to school here. Texas and America is the only home I’ve ever known. Gabriel, he was originally from Guatemala. His situation is more or less the same.
If we were to leave the country, then we might risk not being able to get back in. You could apply for eligibility to travel if you had special circumstances, but they didn’t allow travel for leisure. We didn’t even have passports. Until then, our dreams of traveling—something we both wanted to do—were just that: dreams.
There was a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Obama and that DREAM act, I’m sure you’ve heard of it. You know, the dreamers or whatever? That’s what they call us. I guess they call it that because it’s just a freaking fantasy that disappears at the slightest thing—the sunrise, your phone alarm—out of your grasp as soon as you start your day.
Anyways, I applied for the DREAM act, but it hasn’t been a guarantee. We’re all stuck in a sort of limbo, waiting for the people in Washington to figure out what the hell to do with us, using us as a bargaining chip.
Not Gabriel though, he didn’t apply for the act. Part of it was that he was bad about procrastinating. The other part was that he was paranoid about signing up. I told him that he was an idiot and if he blew his chance to become a legal permanent resident, then I wouldn’t follow him to Guatemala if he got deported. He told me that he didn’t trust the program, that once they had you in the system they could track you easier, keep tabs on you. Said he knew a guy that got deported this way. I told him that the guy must’ve gotten into some legal trouble, a DUI or something, to have been deported.
“We’re all just one slip up from some legal trouble. Hell, some people consider us illegal right now,” he had said.
It was hard to argue against that, I guess. At least he knew where he stood, didn’t have that false hope. Sometimes I think it’s the hope that gets you, makes things worse.
Gabriel frowned and handed the phone back to me, looked out the window and took a sip of his Coke. I suddenly felt bad and ungrateful. Here was this amazing man that had planned out an awesome road trip just for me and I was busy looking at other far off adventures, not appreciating what I had right in front of me, the moment I was living in right now.
I leaned forward and kissed him. "I don't care where I'm at as long as you're with me," I said and he smiled.
What I told him just then, it was true. That didn’t mean I was going to grow complacent and quit dreaming.
They did call us dreamers after all.
It was one of those giant truck stops, the kind that was a little smaller than a Wal-Mart or Target, but just barely. We filled up and paced around inside and looked at the aisles and aisles of candy, the funny toys and souvenirs, and the tacky t-shirts.
“Hey Yuvi, whaddaya say? It’s your size.” Gabriel asked, holding up a black t-shirt with glittery letters. “PROUD TRUCKER WIFE” it read.
“Only if you get that one,” I said, pointing at a T-shirt with a semi-truck on it that read “I JUST DROPPED A LOAD”.
“Eww,” Gabriel said, laughing.
We both wandered around on our own. They had a huge candy section and I was looking to see if they had any vero elotes candy. I had just found a bag on a bottom shelf when Gabriel came skipping up.
“We are so getting this,” he said, holding up a plastic CD case.
“What is it?”
“Best of the ‘90s. It’s got your song on there, see? ‘Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls.’ Can we get it? It’s only 3.99.”
“Ha, ok. But only if you buy me this,” I said, handing him the candy.
There was traffic from hell just south of Denton on account of construction and a car wreck or two. We were stop-and-go for what seemed like an hour. I was passenger side and Gabriel idled along.
“Ok. I think now’s the time to break out this bad boy,” Gabriel said as he started tearing at the plastic wrap around the CD case.
“I think this is the first time I’ve even used the CD player in this car.”
“Aw hell yeah,” Gabriel said as the first song started playing. “Gettin’ Jiggy With It.”
“Getting what, now?”
“It’s your boy, Will Smith. Y’know the Fresh Prince? Betcha didn’t know he had a little music career.”
“That guy from I Am Legend and Aladdin?”
Gabriel rolled his eyes. “I guess. His older work is much better.”
“Well I don’t know. You act like you're this old and wise millennial. You’re not that much older than me, y’know.”
“I’m telling ya, my Gen-X sister raised me on all of this stuff. I think she was Gen-X. I don’t know the damn cutoffs. Anyways, she babysat me a lot growing up while Mama was working and stuff. She cultured my little ass. Ooh, here it is!”
A new song started playing. I couldn’t help but laugh at how it started. “It sounds like porn music!”
“Nah, shhhh. Shhh.” Gabriel bobbed his head along to the beat.
The chorus started to worm it’s way into my head. The song was ok, I guess. I still can’t really listen to it to this day.
“You gotta listen to this dope rap coming up,” Gabriel said.
There was the sound of hissing and popping, wet logs burning in a fire. Whispers intermingled with the sound effects. One of the voices rose above the others and said “Listen!” harshly in Spanish, you know, “Escuchen! Escuchen!”, several times.
We both looked at each other with wide eyes. The traffic crept forward slowly and Gabriel kept his hands on the wheel and I kept mine in my lap and that’s when he started to talk. It was this happy sounding older guy, talking right there on my car’s speakers.
Gooood afternoon folks, Buck Hensley here with a special rush hour edition of “The Rules of the Road”. Hope ya’ll are doing alright out there while you’re idling on the clogged arteries of America’s highways and byways, breathing in those delicious exhaust fumes. I know that good ol’ Mother Earth likes to take a big fat rip of that stuff from time to time, although as of late she seems to be getting quite a contact high from that delicious Co2 and starting to feel the effects just a little too much.
And yet you all keep puff-puffing and passing, never slowing down. What with your jet planes and your driving and your travel and your neverending consumption and your cow farts and whatnot. All I’m saying is that you folks might wanna slow down a bit on that stuff, because I’ve seen the end results and all I can say is that they are hilarious. But I understand if you wanna keep on keeping on and having a good time. All I can say is smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
Speaking of good times, that reminds me of today’s special “Rule of the Road”. You’re gonna want to listen to this one as it’s all about good times. Why that was Carla’s favorite sitcom for a spell there, “Good Times”. She’d watch reruns on into the night, the TV casting a pale glow that was kinda comforting across the bed, and I’d wake up to live studio laughter and her snoring softly beside me, the serene look of slumber on her face and the years I’d wasted.
Gabriel and I both looked at eachother. He shrugged and reached for the stereo. I shooed his hand away. I wanted to listen to it. The voice continued.
But I digress...well now, on to today’s “Rule of the Road”. If at any point during your journey you stop off for a pitstop or a potty break and you enter a public restroom to do your business, take note of the writing on the stalls. You might notice some graffiti that reads, “For a Good Time, Call” and then a phone number listed after it. If you do notice this, then take the number down for later use. Whenever you are in dire need of a good time, then give that number a call.
Now before you go off with a bee in your bonnet and tell me how you ain’t gonna call no sketchy phone number taken off a lady’s or men’s room wall, let me just tell you that this will be worth it. You can trust me. When has old Bucky ever let ya down?
I know what you’re gonna say next though, you’re gonna say, “Buck, I don’t ever call no numbers on my phone. I’m deathly afraid of voices on the other line. If I can’t text and send little emojis and the like, then forget it. If I can’t use an app to order Thai food or a pizza, then I go hungry that night. I haven’t even made an appointment to a doctor since I’ve lived with my parents. What if since we can’t see each other’s faces we start talking at the same time and we talk over each other and then say, ‘oops sorry, no you go ahead’ and then we both say it again at the same time and then we both start trying to talk again and then get stuck in some sort of infinite loop?”
And to that I say, “fair enough.” Don’t use the phone. The consequences of not following this rule are a little less dire than previous rules you may have heard. If you don’t follow this rule then you will simply miss out on a good time. That’s it. But you wouldn’t want to miss out on anything, would ya?
Welp. That’s all I’ve got on this fine late afternoon. May the wind be always at your back, your picnic basket full of snacks, and your cheese ever be pepper jack. Ya’ll stay sane out there. Stay symbiotic. Stay lonely. I'm Buck Hensley and these are "The Rules of the Road".
The voice instantly stopped and the song returned playing. Gabriel had a dumbfounded look on his face.
"What the hell?" he said and tried to rewind the CD.
"Umm, was that part of the song? Maybe a different version?"
"No way," he said and kept rewinding and playing the song over. The little skit that we heard never returned.
“Weird,” I said.
“Beats the heck out of me.”
“Maybe the CD is haunted. That was pretty spooky, y’know? That voice telling us to listen.”
“Maybe it was like a hidden track or something. They used to put those on CD’s back in the day. And this CD was pretty cheap and has all these songs on it. Could’ve been like a pirated deal.”
We weren’t really scared by the broadcast or whatever it was, just more confused. It was only looking back that we saw the importance of what we had heard and how from there our path seemed to be led a certain way.. At the time it was just this weird little thing, a funny little mystery that was forgettable for the time being.
We crept along for a while without incident, the traffic slowly gaining momentum. The music on the CD played on as usual and we heard no extra voices. The songs played like they were supposed to. Everything was fine.
Of course, outside of Gainesville, it hit me. I had been trying to ignore it and power through until we stopped for the night, but I had the sudden urge to pee. All that slow traffic and iced tea and a bottle of water must’ve caught up with me. This was intense. Usually I could hold it pretty good, but I had to get Gabriel to stop at the first exit we saw.
It was this gas station kind of off by itself and it was all dingy and old and faded and didn’t look the cleanest. Gabriel parked and my lower stomach and bladder ached as soon as I stood up and got out of the car. I burst into the place and made a beeline towards the restroom, over in the corner past the ATM and the glass fridges down a hall with burnt out fluorescent lights.
They were singles that you could lock, one for men and one for women. The floor was sticky and paper towels piled out of a trash can and a strip of toilet paper floated in a pool of standing water. A condom dispensing machine was on the wall opposite the toilet.
It wasn’t the worst public restroom I’d ever used and I didn’t have many options; I was literally about to piss myself. I would have to do the hover move over the toilet seat. No seat covers in a joint like this and I didn’t have time to prep it with toilet paper anything.
So I was doing my business, my thighs burning from the squat, and kind of laughing to myself at the condom dispenser machine with its brands like the “FRENCH TICKLER” and that’s when I saw it, the graffiti written in Sharpie, right there on the vending machine. It said, “For A Good Time, Call 9xx-XXX-XXXX [Redacted]”.
After I finished and had washed my hands, I snapped a pic of the graffiti. I figured Gabriel would get a kick out of it.
“You’re supposed to call it. That’s the rule,” Gabriel said when I showed him.
“I’m too nervous. You call. You heard it, too.”
“Chicken.”
“Yep.”
“How many of those things do you even see? I’ve seen them all the time. I bet it’s just dudes pranking each other or fucking with their ex-girlfriends.”
“Well I found it in the ladies room, so hopefully it wasn’t dudes.”
“Okay, you enter it in your phone and I’ll dial. I’ll try to do a caller ID block or something. Let’s just see what happens.”
“Are you sure?”
“Eh come on. Maybe it’s fate.”
The Texas travel center appeared on the southbound side of the interstate and we were soon crossing the Red River on into Oklahoma as I transcribed the numbers from the picture to the keypad on my dialer.
A large casino came into view. It was ginormous with this sort of facade of all these famous buildings on its outside. I could see Big Ben and that Roman coliseum and all these other world architecture things. The casino just stretched on and on.
“Aw, not again,” Gabriel said.
I had just finished transposing the number into the phone. The crazy casino had distracted me. “What is it, babe?”
“Another jam.”
The traffic was veering into the right hand lane, but it was still moving at a decent clip, like 45 mph or something. After a mile of this, I could see a couple of highway patrol cars parked across the interstate, blocking both lanes of traffic. A state trooper stood out in the middle, waving a flashlight thing and directing traffic to take the exit. There was still about an hour of daylight left and you couldn’t even see the light. He was just using it as a baton. Somewhere off in the distance there was a thick wall of smoke filling the evening sky with this surreal haze.
“Wonder what’s going on?” I asked.
“Who knows? Grassfire, maybe.”
We followed the other cars and trucks down the exit ramp. Some turned right, some turned left.
“Right or left? Right or left?” Gabriel asked.
There seemed to be more cars turning left. Maybe they knew something we didn’t. But then, we would be stuck behind them and it was getting dark and we were already behind schedule. I wanted to get the hell out of the car.
“Um, right! Right,” I said, trying to pull up the GPS on my phone. It was lagging and my service had kicked over to 3G. “Freaking Verizon,” I muttered.
We drove down a highway past empty fields fenced off by barbed wire. There were houses and barns and oilfield pump jacks every so often, but not much else. No gas stations or a sign of a town or much else, really. After driving into all this nothingness for a while, my phone completely lost all signal. The cars around us thinned out and there was only a black SUV in front of us.
“Hey babe, I have no service and can’t pull up the GPS. Wanna turn back around?”
“Nah, let’s just keep going. We’ve come this far, yeah? We’ll hit a main road eventually, get some service.”
I sighed in response as he kept driving, let him know I didn’t approve.
“We’ll turn north soon, ok? All roads lead to Turner Falls.”
I checked my phone every fifteen seconds, looking for a signal.
“C’mon Gabe, we’re gonna get lost out here. Let’s just go back, follow the other cars or see if they’ve opened up the interstate again.”
“Look, this looks like a good road. We’ll cut north here and drive aways and then cut back west towards the interstate. It’s literally impossible to get lost out here. Just trying not to lose any more time.”
But it wasn’t so simple and the nervous feeling in my stomach was validated when the road we drove north on turned to gravel. The sun was long gone and our headlights cut a tunnel through the night as barbed wire whizzed by, separating us from pastures that were elevated above the road on grassy rises. I started to fear the worst, thinking of every horror movie I’d ever seen that had started out this way: the headstrong man refusing to admit that he was lost and didn’t know where he was going and the increasingly pissed off and worried girl that was with him.
“Babe, please just turn around,” I pleaded.
“Ok, ok. Still no signal, eh?”
I looked down at my phone. Finally, there was one bar of service. “Yes! Hang on.”
“Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” Gabriel said, his voice growing louder.
My stomach dropped as what appeared in the rear view mirror was just as scary as any sort of Freddy or Jason or Leatherface from the big screen.
Part 2

May 22: Trump orders governors to reopen churches immediately, something he is not empowered to do (legal experts and the courts agree). Those governors that acquiesce endanger their congregants, as we have seen again and again and again that these houses of worship are super-spreaders.
May 22: Researchers find that 100 million+ Twitter bot-accounts are being used to push to ‘reopen America’ (source).
May 22: Half of Fox News viewers think Bill Gates is using pandemic to microchip them
May 22: Carnegie Mellon researchers discover much of the discussion doubting the pandemic and anti-stay-at-home orders is being fueled by misinformation campaigns using convincing bots. Of the top 50 influential re-tweeters, 82% are bots; of the top 1,000 re-tweeters, 62% are bots.
May 23: Trump plays golf, and whines over twitter in response to media coverage.
May 23: Betsy DeVos openly admits she's using the pandemic to impose her private school choice agenda (audio). Her opportunism is nothing new (source).
May 23: Alabama has reopened its beaches, casinos, bingo halls, museums, zoos and amusement parks – as its hospitals are running out of ICU beds.
May 24: White House predicts that US unemployment to remain in double digits until November election.
May 24: Coronavirus outbreak at high school pool party fuels ‘second peak,’ Arkansas gov says. Missouri probably isn’t far behind. For multiple reasons.
May 25: Trump calls Marine Corps veteran (and sitting Congressman) ‘an American Fraud’ on Memorial Day, mis-spells his name, claims he voted for Nancy Pelosi as speaker of the house (he didn’t.)
May 25: Trump issues a call for schools forced to close amid the coronavirus pandemic to be "opened ASAP" (tweet) after watching segment on Fox News.
May 26: Trump shares a tweet mocking Biden for wearing a face mask in public — in line with the CDC advice that he routinely ignores, for fear of “looking weak”.
May 26: Trump leaves GOP "completely blindsided" with threat to pull RNC convention out of North Carolina.
May 26: Spiking pneumonia deaths suggest the virus is killing far more than we know
May 27: Two weeks after court scraps Safer at Home, Wisconsin sets record for new coronavirus cases and deaths
late May: As Memorial weekend ends, the US has lost 100,000 people to the virus… more than combined combat fatalities in the three-year Korean War (33,686, source) and the 11-year US war in Vietnam (58,220, source), with very little collective grief.
May 30: Trump terminates the US relationship with the World Health Organization (WHO).
May 30: Trump demands Republican convention ‘with no masks or social distancing’ despite coronavirus pandemic
June 1: Dr. Fauci told states that Trump is no longer frequently meeting with top public-health experts to discuss the fight against the coronavirus. Two weeks later, Fauci will state he hasn’t talked to Trump once in the last two weeks.
June 1: States that reported all-time highest single-day new case totals in the last week: North Carolina, South Carolina (twice), Texas (twice), Arizona (twice), Mississippi (twice), Utah (twice), Virginia (twice), Wisconsin (twice) and California (three times)
June 3: Millions Of Americans skip payments as tidal wave of defaults and evictions looms
June 10: Trump: “We’ve made every decision correctly” - White House goes quiet on coronavirus as outbreak spikes; no briefings in over a month
June 15: Trump dismisses uptick in US coronavirus cases and suggests a 'stop' to testing. "If we stop testing right now, we'd have very few cases, if any,"
June 15: US national pride falls to the lowest level in the two decades of Gallup measurement.

• Five days later another survey shows the majority of Americans say this is the lowest point in US history they can remember.
• Two weeks after that another survey shows that 75% of Americans believe the U.S. is ‘Out of Control’ under Trump.

June 17: More Americans have died from the virus (116,963) than were killed in combat during World War One (116,708).
June 18: Trump says he thinks some Americans are wearing masks to show they disapprove of him and not as a preventive measure during the pandemic
June 18: Trump claims virus will ‘Fade Away’ – as U.S. Sees 20,000 New Cases a Day. Within a month this will increase to 70,000 new cases a day.
June 20: Trump holds rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma – his first large campaign event since the beginning of the coronavirus lockdowns

• Trump’s request that masks be optional goes all the way to the Oklahoma Supreme court, where he wins a victory. Masks are not required at the rally.
  
• Six members of the advance team (including two secret service officers) tested positive for the virus prior to the rally. Two more test positive afterwards, along with a local reporter.
  
• The rally 'more than likely' contributed to a surge in coronavirus cases, according to the Tulsa Health Department Executive Director.
  
• Afterward, dozens of Secret Service officers and agents are told to self-quarantine.
  
• Two weeks after the rally, Herman Cain tests positive for the virus. In the weeks to come Cain is hospitalized, and dies on July 29.
  
• Two weeks after the rally, Fox News alumnus / Donald Trump Jr’s girlfriend tests positive for the virus after attending the rally.
  
• A week after that, Oklahoma’s governor (who hosted the rally) tests positive for the virus.
  
• Trump boasted that a million people that signed up to attend, held the rally in a 19,000 seat arena, and built an outdoor overflow area in the parking lot, but only 6,200 people attended.
  
• Trump was furious about the low turnout, and had a meltdown and yelled at aides backstage when he realized how empty his rally in Tulsa was
  
• Trump said he tried to slow down COVID-19 testing to cover up America’s high rate of infection (video)
  
• White House trade advisor Peter Navarro claimed Trump was “joking”, Trump responded 'I don't kid' and insists he meant it.
  
• Trump unapologetically called the virus the “Kung Flu”, and proved he could awkwardly drink a glass of water with one hand.
  

Planned future rallies are cancelled, due to fears of low attendance and the virus.
June 24: Fauci: White House ordered NIH to cancel coronavirus research funding, because it is in partnership with scientists in Wuhan and Trump has pushed a conspiracy theory that Wuhan purposely created the virus.
June 25: White House official: Americans will “Just Have to Live With” massive virus surge
June 25: The largest medical complex in the world, Texas Medical Center reaches 100 percent ICU occupancy, then they stopped reporting data.
June 30: The European Union bans travel from the U.S. due to coronavirus, and extends the ban two weeks later as the US situation continues to deteriorate.
June 30: The US has 4% of the world's population but 25% of its coronavirus cases. Over 2.5 million Americans have tested positive, and over 125,000 have died.
June 30: Dr. Fauci tells Congress new cases could reach 100,000 a day without changes, and that recent coronavirus surge caused by reopening too quickly, not following guidelines
Late June: Republican governors begin holding secret conference calls to complain about Trump's chaotic coronavirus response
July 2: Trump: “I think we’re gonna be very good with the coronavirus. I think that at some point that’s going to, sort of, just disappear – I hope,” as US sees record number of new cases
July 4: Arizona Department of Health Services reports that ICU's are at 91 percent capacity and nearly a quarter of coronavirus tests conducted returned positive.
July 4: U.S. breaks another daily coronavirus record with more than 57,000 new infections
July 6: White House defends Trump's claim that 99 percent of COVID-19 cases are 'harmless' with chart showing 5 percent are fatal. Unsurprisingly, the head of the FDA refuses to back up this claim.
July 7: The virus is killing more in Florida, Texas in one month than 20 years of hurricanes
July 7: Trump and the Secretary of Education demand that schools reopen with fully operational in-person classrooms in the Fall.

• Just a week earlier, a Federal assessment (69 pages, here) said fully reopening schools and universities remained the “highest risk” for the spread of the coronavirus.
• This also contradicts the CDC’s guidelines around reopening schools. Trump dismissed these guidelines over Twitter as “tough and expensive” as well as “impractical”. The CDC refuses to revise their guidelines.
• This demand came with threats: To cut off Federal funding (a mostly toothless threat) and lose international students to those that choose not to open fully.
• Pressed on how schools can re-open during a pandemic, DeVos has no clear answers (video)
• Some teachers are retiring, rather than returning to the classroom
• Only 1 in 10 Americans think schools should reopen this fall without restrictions

July 8: 56 Florida hospitals hit 100% ICU capacity (and new daily cases rise above 10,000, to rise to 15,000 per day within five more days) as Governor DeSantis defends refusal to release virus data.
July 9: Dr. Fauci says states with coronavirus resurgences should consider shutting down again
July 10: U.S. breaks another daily coronavirus record with more than 70,000 new infections.
July 11: Japan is 'shocked' and furious at the US after a major coronavirus outbreak at 2 Marine bases in Okinawa — and says the US is not taking the virus seriously. "We now have strong doubts that the US military has taken adequate disease prevention measures,"
July 12: Dr. Fauci says COVID-19 cases exploding because U.S. didn’t completely shut down
July 12: CDC holds first press briefing in over three months of being silenced by the White House.
July 13: Trump complains Biden and Obama stopped coronavirus testing even though it didn't exist during their administration
July 13: Arizona is currently registering as many new cases as the entire EU, which has a population 60 times greater.’
July 13: Trump retweets game show host saying CDC and doctors are lying; the coronavirus task force pushes back: ‘None of us lie'. The game show host’s son tests positive for the virus one day later, the host suddenly changes his position, and deletes his Twitter account.
July 14: Nearly one-third of children tested for COVID in Florida are positive; that is over 11,000 children.
July 15: Administration removes control of coronavirus data from CDC, instead funneling it through the White House. Experts and scientists highlight why this is dangerous, and states begin to lose access to data.
July 15: Trump greenlights an op-ed attacking Dr. Fauci by White House trade adviser Peter Navarro. Fauci responds that they should be ashamed. Trump then says Navarro never should have written it.
July 17: White House blocks CDC from testifying on reopening schools next week
July 18: Trump administration pushes to block new money for testing, tracing, and CDC in upcoming coronavirus relief bill
July 18: 85 infants under age 1 have tested positive for the virus in one Texas county since March
July 19: Trump claims, incorrectly, that the U.S. has "one of the lowest mortality rates" for the virus
July 20: Trump: "I will be right eventually. You know, I said, 'It's going to disappear.' I'll say it again. ... It's going to disappear, and I'll be right," – part of a larger interview citing false and nonexistent data on the virus.
July 20: Trump calls masks ‘Patriotic’ less than two months after ridiculing Biden for wearing one. Just hours later, he hosts a fundraiser without a mask (at his own hotel, where he raised $5 million).

• During the same press conference, Trump says "My administration currently has zero unfilled requests for… equipment or anything else that they need from the governors. No governor needs anything right now and we think we’ll have it that way until the end because frankly we are stocked up and ready to go.". Of course, this is a lie.

July 21: Denied permission to work from home, Maryland public health worker dies after COVID hits office
July 22: White House senior adviser Kellyanne Conway accuses the states of being too hasty with reopening their economies

4K
2001: A Space Odyssey 4K
American Gangster 4K
Anna 4K
Ant Man 4K
Ant Man and the Wasp 4K
Apocalypse Now 4K
Aquaman 4K
Atomic Blonde 4K
Avengers 4K
Avengers Age of Ultron 4K
Avengers Infinity War 4K
Avengers Endgame 4K
Baby Driver 4K
Bad Times at El Royale 4K
Batman (1989) 4K
Batman Begins 4K
Batman Forever 4k
Batman Returns 4k
Batman vs Superman 4K
Blade Runner 2049 4K
Blade Runner The Final Cut 4K
Bourne Legacy 4K
Braveheart 4K
Breakthrough 4K
Brightburn 4K
Bumblebee 4K iTunes
The Cabin in the Woods 4K
Captain Marvel
Cars 4K
Cars 2 4K
Casino 4K
Coco 4K
The Commuter 4K
The Cornetto Trilogy 4K
Crawl 4K (iTunes)
Creed II 4K
Crouching Tiger 4K
The Darkest Hour 4K
The Dark Knight 4K
Dark Crystal 4K
Deadpool 2 4K
Despicable Me 3 4K
Doctor Strange 4K
Downsizing 4K
Dunkirk 4K
Ex Machina 4K
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 4K
Finding Dory 4K
First Man 4K
Frozen 4K
Ghost Busters II 4K
Gladiator 4K iTunes
Gemini Man
Godzilla (1998) 4K
Grease 4K iTunes
The Great Gatsby 4K
The Great Wall 4K
Gremlins 4K
Groundhog Day 4K
Guardians of the Galaxy 4K
Hacksaw Ridge 4K
Halloween (2018) 4K
Harry Potter & The Deadly Hallows Pt 2 4K
Hell or High Water 4K
Hellboy (2004) 4k
Hellboy (2019) 4K
Hobbs & Shaw 4K
Home Alone 4K
Hotel Transylvania 3 4K
How to Train Your Dragon 3 4K
Hulk 2003 4K
Hustlers 4K (iTunes)
The Incredible Hulk 4K
The Incredibles 4K
The Incredibles 2 4K
Inside Out 4K
Interstellar 4K
It: Chapter One 4K
It: Chapter Two 4K
Iron Man 4K
Iron Man 2 4K
Iron Man 3 4K
Its a Wonderful Life 4K
Jason Bourne 4K
John Wick 4K
John Wick 2 4K
Justice League 4K
Jurassic Park 4K
Jurassic Park 2 4K
Jurassic Park 3 4K
Jurassic World 4K
Karate Kid 4K
Kick Ass 4K
The Kid Who Would be King 4K
Knowing 4K
La La Land 4K
The Little Mermaid 4K
Life of Pi 4K
Logan 4K
Logan Lucky 4K
Lucy 4K
Mad Max Fury Road 4K
Maleficent 4K
Mama Mia 2 4K
The Matrix 4K
Men In Black International 4k
Minions 4K
Mission Impossible 4K Vudu
Mission Impossible 2 4K Vudu
Mission Impossible Fallout 4K Vudu
Moon 4K
mother! 4K
The Mule 4K
Overlord 4K
Pacific Rim Uprising 4K
Pans Labyrinth 4k
Peter Rabbit 4K
Pet Semetary 4K
Pet Semartary '19 4K
The Predator 4K (2018)
Prometheus 4K
Punisher 4K
The Purge 4K
The Purge Anarchy 4K
The Purge Election Year 4K
Rampage 4K
Ready Player One 4K
The Revenant 4K
Rise of the Planet of the Apes 4K
Robin Hood 4K
Rocket Man 4K
Saving Private Ryan 4K
Scarface 4K
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark 4K
Shazam! 4K
Sicario 4K
Solo A Star Wars Story 4K
Star Trek 4K
Star Trek Into Darkness 4K
Star Wars The Last Jedi 4K
Stuber 4K
Suicide Squad Superman The Movie 4K
Sully 4K
Tangled 4K
Terminator Dark Fate 4K
Terminator 2 4K
Thor 4K
Thor The Dark World 4K
Thor Ragnarok 4K
Tomb Raider 4K
Toy Story 4K
Toy Story 3 4K
Toy Story 4 4K
Transformers 4K
Transformers Revenge of the Fallen 4K
Transformers Dark of the Moon 4K
Transformers Age of Extinction 4K
Transformers The Last Knight 4K
Us 4K
War For the Planet of the Apes 4K
Warm Bodies 4K
The Wizard of Oz 4K
Wonder Woman 4K
HD
10 Cloverfield Lane
A Dog's Journey
A Hidden Life
Ali
Alien
Alien Resurrection
Aliens
Alita
Alpha
American Pastoral
Annie (1982)
The Armstrong Lie
The Art of Self Defense
Bad Times at El Royale HD
Band of Brothers
Batman Complete Animated Series
Batman HD Gotham by Gaslight
BATMAN NINJA
Batman vs. Ninja Turtles
Batman: Hush
Beale Street
beetlejuice
Ben is Back
Big
Big Little Lies S1
Big Sick
Blazing Saddles
Bleeding Steel
Boardwalk Empire Complete Series Vudu
Bohemian Rhapsody
Boo! 2
Booksmart
Border
Boss Baby
Boyhood:
breadwinner:
Breakthrough
Bride of Frankenstein
Bullet Head
Cabin in the Woods
Casablanca
Castle Rock S1
Cheech and Chong’s Up in Smoke
Chernobyl (5-Part Miniseries)
Childs Play
Countdown (vudu)
Crawl
Curse of La Llorna
Danish Girl
Day of the Dead Bloodline
Dead Don’t Die
Dead Water
Deadwood the Movies
Death Wish Willis
Dear White People
dESPICABLE mE 3
Detective Pikachu
Deuce S1
die hard
Disaster Artist
Disobedience
Dog's way home
Dora And the Lost City of Gold
Downtown Abbey The Movie
Drive
Dunkirk
Early Man
Edge of Seventeen
EDWARD Scissorhands
Eight Grade
Equalizer 2
Fantastic Beasts 2 Crimes of Grindlewald
The Favourite
Ferdinand
Fight Club
First Man HD
First Reformed
Florida Project
Free Fire
Game of Thrones S8 iTunes
Gemini
Gemini Man
Ghostbusters II
Godzilla King of the Monsters
Good Time
Goosebumps
Grand Budapest Hotel
Greatest Showman
Green Book HD
Green Mile
Green Room
Grinch '18
Hellboy (2019)
Her
Hereditary
High Life
Hobbs & Shaw
Holmes and Watson
Hostiles
Hot Fuzz
How To Talk To Girls At Parties
Hunger Games
Hurricane Heist
I can only Imagine
If Beale Street Could Talk
Imperium
In a Valley of Violence
Instant Family
Interstellar
Isle of dogs
Isn't it romantic
It 1990
It Comes At Night
Jarhead: Law Of Return
Jaws
Jigsaw
John Wick 1 + 2
Jurassic Park
Jurassic Park 2 The Lost World
Jurassic Park 3
Jurassic World
Justice League: Doom
Justice League: Gods & Monsters
Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox
Kid Who Would Be King
Kidnap
Killer Elite (iTunes)
Killers Anonymous
Killing of a Sacred Deer
Kubo
Lady Bird
Lady Macbeth
The Last Black Man in San Francisco
Last Samurai
Lean on Pete
Leatherface
Legend of Tarzan
Lego Batman Family Matters
Lego Batman
Lego Flash
The Lighthouse
Little
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Loving
Lowriders
Mad Max
MAD MAX 1980
Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome
Magnificent Seven (1960)
MALEFICENT Mistress of Evil
Man Who Invented Christmas:
Marwen
Mary Queen of Scots HD
Megan Leavey
MIB 3
MIDNIGHT Special
Midsommar
Minions
Miss Bala
Missing Link
Mortal Engines
Mummy (1932)
MY LEFT FOOT
My Little Pony
Neighbors iTunes
Night Before
Night Hunter
Nightcrawler
Oceans 8
Oklahoma!
Old Man & The Gun
On the Basis of sex
Once Upon a Deadpool
Overboard
Overcomer
ParaNorman
Patti Cake$
Peppermint (iTunes)
Planes Trains and Automobiles
Pokemon Detective Pikachu
Possession of Hannah Grace
The Post
Prayer Before Dawn
Prisoners
Psycho:
Pulp Fiction
Purge
Purge Anarchy 2
Purge Election Year 3
Race
Red 2
Regression
Resident Evil Retribution
Rick And Morty - Season 3
Rocketman
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Room
rosemarys baby (miniserires)
Se7en
Serenity 2005
Shaft
Shape of Water
Siberia
Sicario
Silence
Sisters Brothers
Skyfall
Slow West
Smallfoot
Sorry to bother You
Southside with You
Speed MA HD:
Spider Man 2
Spider Man Trilogy
Spider-Man 1
Into the Spiderverse
Spinning Man
Split
Spotlight
Spring Breakers
Strangers: Prey at Night
Stray
Stronger
Stuber HD
Super Troopers 2
SUSPIRIA
Swiss Army Man
Ted 2
Teen Titans Go to the Movies
Terminator Dark Fate
Thank You For Your Service -
The Goldfinch
The Predator (2018) HD
The Sound of Music
The Walking Dead S9
Three billboards outside Ebbing Missouri
Three Kings
Toy Story 4
Traffik
Trainwreck
True Blood Complete Series Vudu
True Detective S3
True Grit (1960)
Trumbo
Truth or Dare
Tulip Fever
Tusk
Ugly Dolls
Underworld awakening
Upgrade
Veep Final Season
Vice
Vice
Vox Lox
Welcome to Marwen
Westworld S1
Where is Kyra
While We're Young
Winchester
Wind River
Wizard of Oz
Wonder Park
wonder wheel
Wonder Woman Bloodlines
Woodshock
X-Men Dark Phoenix
You Were Never Really Here
You're Next
Requests
Ford Vs Ferrari
Parasite
Jo Jo Rabbit
Midway
Knives Out
A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

4K
2001: A Space Odyssey 4K
Alita Battle Angel 4K
American Gangster 4K
American Psycho 4K
Angel Has Fallen 4K
Anna 4K
Ant Man 4K
Ant Man and the Wasp 4K
Apocalypse Now 4K
Aquaman 4K
Atomic Blonde 4K
Avengers 4K
Avengers Age of Ultron 4K
Avengers Infinity War 4K
Avengers Endgame 4K
Batman & Robin 4k
Batman Begins 4K
Batman Forever 4k
Batman Returns 4k
Blackkklansman 4K
Blade Runner 2049 4K
Bourne Legacy 4K
Braveheart 4K
Breakthrough 4K
The Bridge on the River Kwai 4K
Brightburn 4K
Bumblebee 4K iTunes
Casino 4K
The Commuter 4K
Captain Marvel
Cars 4K
Cars 2 4K
Cars 3 4K
Casino 4K
Coco 4K
Constantine City Of Demons 4K
The Cornetto Trilogy 4K
Crawl 4K (iTunes)
Crazy Rich Asians 4K
Creed 4K
Creed II 4K
Crouching Tiger 4K
The Darkest Hour 4K
The Dark Knight 4K
Dark Crystal 4K
The Dark Knight 4K
The Darkest Hour 4K
Deadpool 2 4K
Despicable Me 3 4K
Doctor Strange 4K
Downsizing 4K
Ex Machina 4K
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 4K
Field of Dreams 4K
Finding Dory 4K
First Man 4K
Frozen 4K
Ghost Busters 2016 4K
Ghost Busters II 4K
Gladiator 4K iTunes
Godzilla King of the Monsters 4K
Grease 4K iTunes
The Great Gatsby 4K
The Great Wall 4K
Gremlins 4K
Groundhog Day 4K
Guardians of the Galxy 4K
Hacksaw Ridge 4K iTunes
Halloween 4K
Harry Potter & The Deadly Hallows Pt 2 4K
Heat 4K
Hell or High Water 4K
Hellboy (2004) 4k
Hellboy (2019) 4K
Home Alone 4K
Hotel Transylvania 3 4K
How to Train Your Dragon 3 4K
Hulk 2003 4K
The Incredible Hulk 4K
The Incredibles 4K
The Incredibles 2 4K
Inside Out 4K
Interstellar 4K
It: Chapter One 4K
Iron Man 4K
Iron Man 2 4K
Iron Man 3 4K
Its a Wonderful Life 4K
Jason Bourne 4K
John Wick 4K iTunes
Jurassic Park 3 4K
Jurassic World 4K
Karate Kid 4K
Kick Ass 4K
The Kid Who Would be King 4K
Knowing 4K
La La Land 4K
The Little Mermaid 4K
Leon The Professional 4K
Life of Pi 4K
Lucy 4K
Maleficent 4K
Mama Mia 2 4K
The Matrix 4K
The Matrix Reloaded 4K
The Matrix Revolutions 4K
Men In Black International 4k
Minions 4K
Mission Impossible 4K Vudu
MIssion Impossible 2 4K Vudu
Mission Impossible Fallout 4K Vudu
Moon 4K
mother! 4K
The Mule 4K
Overlord 4K
Pacific Rim Uprising 4K
Pans Labyrinth 4k
The Patriot 4K
Pet Semetary 4K
Pet SEmartary '19 4K
Predator 4K
The Predator 4K (2018)
Prometheus 4K
Punisher 4K
The Purge 4K
The Purge Anarchy 4K
The Purge Election Year 4K
Rambo Last Blood 4K
Rampage 4K
Ready Player One 4K
The Revenant 4K
Rise of the Planet of the Apes 4K
Robin Hood 4K
Rocket Man 4K
Saving Private Ryan 4K
Scarface 4K
Shazam! 4K
The Shining 4K
Sicario 4K
Sicario Day of the Soldado 4K
Solo A Star Wars Story 4K
Star Trek 4K
Star Trek Into Darkness 4K
Star Wars The Last Jedi 4K
Step Brothers 4K
Stuber 4K
Suicide Squad Superman The Movie 4K
Sully 4K
Tangled 4K
Terminator 2 4K
Thor The Dark World 4K
Tomb Raider 4K
Toy Story 4K
Toy Story 3 4K
Toy Story 4 4K
Transformers 4K
Transformers Revenge of the Fallen 4K
Transformers Dark of the Moon 4K
Transformers Age of Extinction 4K
Transformers The Last Knight 4K
Us 4K
Venom 4K
War For the Planet of the Apes 4K
Warm Bodies 4K
The Wizard of Oz 4K
Wonder Woman 4K
Wonder Woman Bloodlines 4K
Yesterday 4K
Zombieland 4K
HD
10 Cloverfield Lane
A Dog's Journey
Ali
Alien
Alien Resurrection
Aliens
Alita
Alpha
American Pastoral
Annie (1982)
Bad Times at El Royale HD
Band of Brothers
Batman Complete Animated Series
Batman HD Gotham by Gaslight
BATMAN NINJA
Batman vs. Ninja Turtles
Batman: Hush
Beale Street
beetlejuice
Ben is Back
Big
Big Little Lies S1
Big Sick
Blazing Saddles
Bleeding Steel
Boardwalk Empire Complete Series Vudu
Bohemian Rhapsody
Boo! 2
Booksmart
Border
Boss Baby
Boyhood:
breadwinner:
Breakthrough
Bride of Frankenstein
Bullet Head
Cabin in the Woods
Casablanca
Castle Rock S1
Cheech and Chong’s Up in Smoke
Chernobyl (5-Part Miniseries)
Childs Play
Crawl
Curse of La Llorna
Danish Girl
Day of the Dead Bloodline
Dead Don’t Die
Dead Water
Deadwood the Movies
Death Wish Willis
dESPICABLE mE 3
Detective Pikachu
Deuce S1
die hard
Disaster Artist
Disobedience
Dog's way home
Dora And the Lost City of Gold
Downtown Abbey The Movie
Drive
Dunkirk
Early Man
Edge of Seventeen
EDWARD Scissorhands
Eight Grade
Equalizer 2
Fantastic Beasts 2 Crimes of Grindlewald
The Favourite
Ferdinand
Fight Club
First Man HD
First Reformed
Florida Project
Free Fire
Game of Thrones S8 iTunes
Gemini Man
Ghostbusters II
Godzilla King of the Monsters
Good Time
Goosebumps
Grand Budapest Hotel
Greatest Showman
Green Book HD
Green Mile
Green Room
Grinch '18
Hellboy (2019)
Her
Hereditary
High Life
Hobbs & Shaw
Holmes and Watson
Hostiles
Hot Fuzz
How To Talk To Girls At Parties
Hunger Games
Hurricane Heist
I can only Imagine
If Beale Street Could Talk
If Beale Street Could Talk
Imperium
In a Valley of Violence
Instant Family
Interstellar
Isle of dogs
Isn't it romantic
It 1990
It Comes At Night
Jarhead: Law Of Return
Jaws
Jigsaw
John Wick 1 + 2
Jurassic Park
Jurassic Park 2 The Lost World
Jurassic Park 3
Jurassic World
Justice League: Doom
Justice League: Gods & Monsters
Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox
Kid Who Would Be King
Kidnap
Killer Elite (iTunes)
Killers Anonymous
Killing of a Sacred Deer
Kubo
Lady Bird
Lady Mac
LAST SAMURAI
Lean on Pete
Leatherface
Legend of Tarzan
Lego Batman Family Matters
Lego Batman
Lego Flash
The Lighthouse
Little
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Loving
Lowriders
Mad Max
MAD MAX 1980
Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome
Magnificent Seven (1960)
MALEFICENT Mistress of Evil
Man Who Invented Christmas:
Marwen
Mary Queen of Scots HD
Megan Leavey
MIB 3
MIDNIGHT Special
Midsommar
Minions
Miss Bala
Missing Link
Mortal Engines
Mummy (1932)
MY LEFT FOOT
My Little Pony
Neighbors iTunes
Night Before
Night Hunter
Nightcrawler
Oceans 8
Oklahoma!
Old Man & The Gun
On the Basis of sex
Once Upon a Deadpool
Overboard
Overcomer
ParaNorman
Patti Cake$
Peppermint (iTunes)
Planes Trains and Automobiles
Pokemon Detective Pikachu
Possession of Hannah Grace
The Post
Prayer Before Dawn
Prisoners
Psycho:
Pulp Fiction
Purge
Purge Anarchy 2
Purge Election Year 3
Race
Red 2
Regression
Resident Evil Retribution
Rick And Morty - Season 3
Rocketman
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Room
rosemarys baby (miniserires)
Se7en
Serenity 2005
Shaft
Shape of Water
Siberia
Sicario
Silence
Sisters Brothers
Skyfall
Slow West
Smallfoot
Sorry to bother You
Southside with You
Speed MA HD:
Spider Man 2
Spider Man Trilogy
Spider-Man 1
Into the Spiderverse
Spinning Man
Split
Spotlight
Spring Breakers
Strangers: Prey at Night
Stray
Stronger
Stuber HD
Super Troopers 2
SUSPIRIA
Swiss Army Man
Ted 2
Teen Titans Go to the Movies
Thank You For Your Service -
The Goldfinch
The Predator (2018) HD
The Sound of Music
The Walking Dead S9
Three billboards outside Ebbing Missouri
Three Kings
Toy Story 4
Traffik
Trainwreck
True Blood Complete Series Vudu
True Detective S3
True Grit (1960)
Trumbo
Truth or Dare
Tulip Fever
Tusk
Ugly Dolls
Underworld awakening
Upgrade
Veep Final Season
Vice
Vice
Vox Lox
Welcome to Marwen
Westworld S1
Where is Kyra
While We're Young
Winchester
Wind River
Wizard of Oz
Wonder Park
wonder wheel
Wonder Woman Bloodlines
Woodshock
X-Men Dark Phoenix
You Were Never Really Here
You're Next
Requests
Joker
Gemini Man
Zombieland Double Tap

Weekly posts are baaaack! This is the catch-up post to bring us into February and you can look for posts on Sunday nights for the upcoming week.
If you liked the monthly list, the link to it is in the Other Things to Do Links at the bottom of this list. As always, please share events I missed in the comments of this thread.

Multi-day Weekend Events

Dallas Boat Expo | Jan 31-Feb 2 | | Market Hall | $12
Salome Opera-in-Concert | Jan 31, Feb 2 | Meyerson Symphony Center | $49 - $169
Star Wars, Parody & Pop Culture Free 3 Day Art Event | Jan 31-Feb 2 | Dallas Marriott | Free
Alice in Wonderland Free 3 Day Art Event | Jan 31-Feb 2 | Dallas Marriott | Free
My Hero Convention: Texas Smash | Jan 31-Feb 2 | Irving Convention Center |$25 and up
Anime Dallas | Jan 31-Feb 2 | Esports Stadium Arlington & Expo Center | $60 Weekend Pass
Cirque Italia Water Circus | Jan 30-Feb 2 | Town East Mall, Mesquite | $25 and up
Helen Hong | Jan 30-Feb 2 | Hyena’s Dallas | Free Thursday with RSVP, $15 and up
Fort Worth Stock Show & Rodeo | Til Feb 8 | Will Rogers Memorial Ctr, Fort Worth | $12 & up

Local Exhibits

Red Lanterns in Neiman Marcus Court at NorthPark Center through Feb 8
Red Lantern Display at Galleria Dallas Ice Rink through Feb 10
Lucha Libre 2020 at Oak Cliff Cultural Center through Feb 15
Kinsey Collection at the African American Museum through March 1
Violence and Defiance at the Dallas Museum of Art through March 8
Punk Noir at South Dallas Cultural Center through March 21
Ruckus Rodeo at The Modern, Fort Worth through March 29
Barry X Ball: Remaking Sculpture at the Nasher Sculpture Center through April 19
Hip Squares at The Museum of Geometric and MADI Art through April 26
Beili Liu: One and Another at Crow Museum of Asian Art through August 16

Local Theatre

Imagine Broadway | Jan 30-Feb 1 | Theatre Three
Zombie, Dearest | Jan 3 - Feb 15 | Pocket Sandwich Theatre
The Drowsy Chaperone | Jan 30 - Feb 23 | Firehouse Theater, Farmers Branch
Sherlock Holmes and the Portal of Time | Jan 9 - Feb 1 | Rover Dramawerks, Plano
Frank-N-Friend | Jan 31 - Feb 16 | Casa Mañana, Fort Worth
To Be Young, Gifted & Black | Jan 24 - Feb 23 | Jubilee Theatre, Fort Worth
Ada and the Engine | Jan 9 to Feb 9 | Stage West, Fort Worth

Daily Things to Do - Jan 31-Feb 2

​
Friday, 1/31
Friday Night Stand-Up: Paul Varghese at Dallas Comedy House
Tayla Parx at House of Blues
Lloyd Cole: From Rattlesnakes to Guesswork 2020 Tour at The Kessler
Beat Root Revival at Poor David’s Pub
Maldita Vecindad at The Bomb Factory
Prospère, A Photo-Art Exhibit Charity Gala at Hall Arts Hotel
Delfos Danza Contemporánea at Winspear Opera House
Cheat Codes Live Performance at Theory (Uptown)
Michael Salgado at New West Dallas
The Kingston Trio at Arlington Music Hall
Piano Battle at Eisemann Center, Richardson
Chaka Khan at Winstar World Casino, Thackerville, Oklahoma
Today is National Hot Chocolate Day - check your news and social media sources for specials!
​
Saturday, 2/1
Dallas Mavericks vs. Atlanta Hawks at American Airlines Center
Free First Saturdays at the Nasher Sculpture Center
Crow Museum's 21st annual Chinese New Year Festival at NorthPark Center Canceled
The Stuff 35mm (film) + Live Music from Nervous Curtains & Black Taffy at Texas Theatre
Letters To My Beginnings at Clarence Muse Cafe Theater, Black Academy of Arts and Letters
The Blvd – A Scale Model Lowrider Show at Deep Ellum Art Co
The Fab Four - The Ultimate Tribute at The Majestic
Paula Atherton & Julian Vaughn at Bishop Arts Theatre Center
CRUEligans at Granada Theater
Emo Nite Dallas at Lizard Lounge
A Giant Dog at Three Links
Netherfriends at Ruins
Paper Piel by Jimena Bermejo & Chris Brokaw at the Latino Cultural Center,
Frost Fest at Ranchview High School, Irving
Neal McCoy at Arlington Music Hall
Pat Green at Billy Bob’s Texas, Fort Worth
​
Sunday, 2/2
It’s Groundhog Day!
Groundhog Day Sunrise Ceremony with Arboretum Annie at the Dallas Arboretum
Hookah & Mimosas at The Island Spot
The Sweet Lillies at Deep Ellum Art Co
Electric Guest at Trees
Industry Night at Punk Society
Sunday Social at Gator’s Dallas
Olympic Pride, American Prejudice (film) at the Dallas Holocaust and Human Rights Museum
Super Bowl LIV
San Fran 49ers vs. KC Chiefs at Hard Rock Stadium, Miami Gardens, FL
Watch Parties
Big Game Watch Party at The Rustic (Facebook link)
Three Links Super Chili Bowl VI at Three Links
The BIG Game Watch Party 2020 at Gas Monkey Live
Super Bowl Tailgate Party at Hero
Big Game Watch Party at Happiest Hour!
Big Game Watch Party at Granada Theater
Big Game Watch Party at Scout (Statler Hotel)
49ers v. Chiefs Watch Party at Legacy Hall
Bulla Gastrobar, Plano
Big Game Day Watch Party at DoubleTree by Hilton Hotels Dallas-Richardson
Super Bowl Watching Party + Buffet at Cool River, Irving
Big Game Bash 54 Watch Party at Texas Live!, Arlington
Today is National Tater Tot Day - check your news and social media sources for specials!

Other Lists of Things to Do:

Culture Map Dallas Calendar
Plan Your Week from Dallas Voice, The Premier Media Source for LGBT Texas
Do214 Top Picks
This Week’s Beer Events from BeerInBigD.com
Dallas News Events (This page is not paywalled.)
If you liked seeing the whole month in advance, click here to see it on inBigD.com.

4K
The Accountant
Aladdin (2019) 4K
Alita Battle Angel 4K
American Gangster 4K
American Made 4K
American Psycho 4K
Anna 4K
Ant Man 4K
Ant Man and the Wasp 4K
Apocalypse Now 4K
Arrival 4K
Atomic Blonde 4K
Aquaman 4K
Avengers 4K
Avengers Age of Ultron 4K
Avengers Infinity War 4K
Avengers Endgame 4K
Batman & Robin 4k
Batman 4k
Batman Begins 4K
Batman Forever 4k
Batman Returns 4k
Blade Runner 2049 4K
Braveheart 4K
Breakthrough 4K
The Bridge on the River Kwai 4K
Brightburn 4K
Captain Marvel
Cars 4K
Cars 2 4K
Cars 3 4K
Casino 4K
Coco 4K
The Commuter 4K
Constantine City Of Demons 4K
The Cornetto Trilogy 4K
Crawl 4K (iTunes)
Creed 4K
Creed II 4K
Crouching Tiger 4K
The Darkest Hour 4K
The Dark Knight 4K
Deadpool 2 4K
Detective Pickachu 4K
Doctor Strange 4K
The Doors 4K
Ex Machina 4K
Field of Dreams 4K
Finding Dory 4K
First Man 4K
Frozen 4K
Ghost Busters 2016 4K
Ghost Busters II 4K
Glass 4K
Godzilla King of the Monsters 4K
Goodfellas 4K
The Great Gatsby 4K
Gremlins 4K
Groundhog Day 4K
Guardians of the Galxy 4K
Halloween 4K
Hell or High Water 4K
Hellboy (2004) 4k
Hellboy (2019) 4K
Home Alone 4K )
Hotel Transylvania 3
How to Train Your Dragon 3
Hulk 2003 4K
Inside Out 4K
Interstellar 4K
It: Chapter One 4K
Iron Man 4K
Iron Man 2 4K
Iron Man 3 4K
Its a Wonderful Life 4K
John Wick 1 + 2 4K (single code)
Jurassic World 4K
Karate Kid
Kick Ass 4K
The Kid Who Would be King 4K
The Little Mermaid 4K
Lucy 4K
Maleficent 4K
Mama Mia 2 4K
The Matrix 4K
Men In Black International 4k
Minions 4K
Moon 4K
The Mule 4K
Nun 4K
Overlord 4K
Pacific Rim Uprising 4K
Pans Labyrinth 4k
The Patriot 4K
Pet Semetary 4K
Predator 4K
Punisher 4K
Rampage 4K
Ready Player One 4K
The Revenant 4K
Rocket Man 4K
Saving Private Ryan 4K
Scarface 4K
Shazam! 4K
The Shining 4K
Sicario 4K
Sicario Day of the Soldado 4K
Solo A Star Wars Story 4K
Star Wars The Last Jedi 4K
Stuber 4K
Superman The Movie 4K
Terminator 2 4K
Thor The Dark World 4K
Tomb Raider 4K
Toy Story 4K
Toy Story 3 4K
Toy Story 4 4K
Transformers 4K
Transformers Revenge of the Fallen 4K
Transformers Dark of the Moon 4K
Transformers Age of Extinction 4K
Transformers The Last Knight 4K
Us 4K
Waterworld 4K
Warm Bodies 4K
Wonder Woman Bloodlines 4K
Yesterday 4K
Zero Dark Thirty 4K
Zombieland 4K
HD
007 Daniel Craig Collection
007 Thunderball
101 Dalmatians
A Bugs Life
A Dog's Journey
Aladdin (animated)
Aladdin (2019)
Ali
Alita Battle Angel
Alpha
American Pastoral
Annabelle
Annabelle Comes Home
Annabelle Creation
Annie (1982)
Annihilation
Ant Man
Ant Man vs the Wasp
The Art of Self Defense
Avengers
Avengers Age of Ultron
Avengers Infinity War
Avengers Endgame
Bambi 2
Banana Splits Movie
Batman Complete Animated Series
Batman ninja
Batman Gotham by Gaslight
Batman Hush
Batman vs. TMNT
Beetlejuice
Ben is Back
Big
Big Little Lies Complete First Season
The Big Sick
Birdman
Blazing Saddles
Bleeding Steel -
Boo! 2
Booksmart
Boss Baby
Boyhood
Brave (Disney)
breadwinner
Breakthrough
Bullet Head
Cabin in the Woods
Captain America The First Avenger
Captain America Winter Soldier
Captain Marvel
Casablanca
Castle Rock Complete First Season
Cheech and Chong’s Up in Smoke
Childs Play
Cinderella (animated)
Cinderella (live action)
Cinderella II
Cinderella III
Constantine: City of Demons
Creed II
Curse of La Llorona
The Danish Girl
The Dark Knight Trilogy
Day of the Dead Bloodline
Dead Water
Deadwood the Movie
Death of Superman
The Deuce Complete First Season
The Disaster Artist
Disneynature Born in China
Disobedience
Dope
Drive
Dumbo (animated)
Dumbo (2019)
Dunkirk
Early Man
The Edge Of Seventeen
Edwards Scissorhands-
Ex-Machina
Fast Color
Ferdinand
Finding Dory
Finding Nemo
Fight Club
First Reformed
Free Fire
From the Earth to the Moon
Gemini
Godzilla King of the Monsters
Good time
Goosebumps 2
The Greatest Showman
The Green Mile
Green Room
Guardians of the Galaxy
Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2
Happy Death Day 2 U
Happy Death Day
Hellboy (2019)
Her
Hercules (Disney)
Hereditary
High Life
Hostiles
How to talk to girls at parties
Hurricane Heist
I can only Imagine
If Beale Street Could Talk
Imperium
In a Valley of Violence
The Incredible Hulk
Instant Family iTunes
Interstellar
Iron Man
Iron Man 2
Iron Man 3
Isn't it romantic
It 1990
It Comes At Night
It Follows
Jarhead: Law Of Return
Jaws
John Wick 1 + 2 bundle
John Wick 3 Vudu
The Jungle Book (Disney, animated)
The Jungle Book 2 (Disney)
Jurassic Park
Jurassic Park 2
Jurassic Park 3
Jurassic World
Justice League: Doom
Justice League: Gods & Monsters
Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox
The Kid Who Would Be King
Kidnap
Killers Anonymous
The Killing of a Sacred Deer
The Lady and the Tramp
The Lady and the Tramp 2
Lady Macbeth
The Last Samurai
Leatherface
Lego Batman Family Matters
Lego Batman
Lilo and Stitch
The Lion King (2019)
Little
The Little Mermaid II
The Little Mermaid III
Loving
Lowriders
MA
Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome
Mad Max
Magnificent Seven (1960)
Man Who Invented Christmas
Mary Poppins
Mary Poppins Returns
Mary Queen of Scots
The Meg HD
Megan Leavey
Men in Black: International
Mid 90s
MIDNIGHT Special
Midsommar
Missing Link
Monsters U
Mosters Inc
Mortal Engines
My Little Pony
Neighbors iTunes
Night Hunter
Nightcrawler
Oceans 8
Oklahoma!
Old Man & The Gun
Once Upon a Deadpool
Overboard
Patti Cake$
Pavarotti
Pet Sematary (remake)
Peter Pan
Peter Pan Return to Neverland
Planes Trains and Automobiles
Pokemon Detective Pikachu
Prisoners
Proud Mary SD
Race
Ratatouille
Red 2
Regression
Rick and Morty S3
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Robin Hood 2018
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Se7en
Santa Clause
Santa Clause 2
Santa Clause 3
Shaft
The Shape of Water
Shazam
Siberia
Sicario
Silence
Sisters Brothers
Sleeping Beauty
Slow West
Smallfoot
Snow White
Southside with You
Speed
Spider Man 2
Spider Man Far From Home
Spinning Man
Split
Spotlight
Spring Breakers
Star Wars Episode I
Star Wars Episode II
Star Wars Episode III
Star Wars Episode IV
Star Wars Episode V
Star Wars Episode VI
Star Wars The Last Jedi
Solo A Star Wars Story
The Strangers: Prey at Night
The Stray
Stronger
Stuber
Super Troopers 2
SUSPIRIA
Swiss Army Man
Thank You For Your Service
Thor
Thor The Dark World
Thor Ragnarok
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri
Three Kings
Toy Story
Toy Story 2
Toy Story 4
Toy Story That Time Forgot
Traffik
Trainwreck iTunes
Transformers
Transformers Revenge of the Fallen
Transformers Dark of the Moon
Transformers Age of Extinction
Transformers The Last Knight
True Grit (1960)
Truth or dare
Tulip Fever
Tusk
Ugly Dolls (itunes only)
Vice
Wall-E
Welcome to Marwen
Westworld Season 1
Where is Kyra
While We're Young
Whiplash
Winchester
Wind River
Wizard of Oz
Wonder Park
Wonder Wheel:
Wonder Woman Bloodlines
X-Men Dark Phoenix
You Were Never Really Here
You're Next
Requests
IT Chapter Two
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Judy
Hustlers
Abominable
Ad Astra
Rambo Last Blood
Downtown Abbey
Ready or Not
Overcomer
The Goldfinch

4K
2001: A Space Odyssey 4K
Alita Battle Angel 4K
American Gangster 4K
American Psycho 4K
Angel Has Fallen 4K
Anna 4K
Ant Man 4K
Ant Man and the Wasp 4K
Apocalypse Now 4K
Aquaman 4K
Argo 4K
Atomic Blonde 4K
Avengers 4K
Avengers Age of Ultron 4K
Avengers Infinity War 4K
Avengers Endgame 4K
Batman & Robin 4k
Batman Begins 4K
Batman Forever 4k
Batman Returns 4k
Blackkklansman 4K
Blade Runner 2049 4K
Bourne Legacy 4K
Braveheart 4K
Breakthrough 4K
The Bridge on the River Kwai 4K
Brightburn 4K
Bumblebee 4K iTunes
Casino 4K
The Commuter 4K
Captain Marvel
Cars 4K
Cars 2 4K
Cars 3 4K
Casino 4K
Coco 4K
Constantine City Of Demons 4K
The Cornetto Trilogy 4K
Crawl 4K (iTunes)
Crazy Rich Asians 4K
Creed 4K
Creed II 4K
Crouching Tiger 4K
The Darkest Hour 4K
The Dark Knight 4K
Dark Crystal 4K
The Dark Knight 4K
The Darkest Hour 4K
Deadpool 2 4K
Despicable Me 3 4K
Doctor Strange 4K
Downsizing 4K
Ex Machina 4K
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 4K
Field of Dreams 4K
Finding Dory 4K
First Man 4K
Frozen 4K
Ghost Busters 2016 4K
Ghost Busters II 4K
Glass 4K
Gladiator 4K iTunes
Godzilla King of the Monsters 4K
Grease 4K iTunes
The Great Gatsby 4K
The Great Wall 4K
Gremlins 4K
Groundhog Day 4K
Guardians of the Galxy 4K
Hacksaw Ridge 4K iTunes
Halloween 4K
Harry Potter & The Deadly Hallows Pt 2 4K
Heat 4K
Hell or High Water 4K
Hellboy (2004) 4k
Hellboy (2019) 4K
Home Alone 4K
Hotel Transylvania 3 4K
How to Train Your Dragon 3 4K
Hulk 2003 4K
The Incredible Hulk 4K
The Incredibles 4K
The Incredibles 2 4K
Inside Out 4K
Interstellar 4K
It: Chapter One 4K
It: Chapter 2 4K
Iron Man 4K
Iron Man 2 4K
Iron Man 3 4K
Its a Wonderful Life 4K
Jason Bourne 4K
John Wick 4K iTunes
Jurassic Park 3 4K
Jurassic World 4K
Karate Kid 4K
Kick Ass 4K
The Kid Who Would be King 4K
Knowing 4K
La La Land 4K
The Little Mermaid 4K
Leon The Professional 4K
Life of Pi 4K
Lucy 4K
Maleficent 4K
Mama Mia 2 4K
The Matrix 4K
The Matrix Reloaded 4K
The Matrix Revolutions 4K
Men In Black International 4k
Minions 4K
Mission Impossible 4K Vudu
MIssion Impossible 2 4K Vudu
Mission Impossible Fallout 4K Vudu
Moon 4K
mother! 4K
The Mule 4K
Overlord 4K
Pacific Rim Uprising 4K
Pans Labyrinth 4k
The Patriot 4K
Pet Semetary 4K
Pet SEmartary '19 4K
Predator 4K
The Predator 4K (2018)
Prometheus 4K
Punisher 4K
The Purge 4K
The Purge Anarchy 4K
The Purge Election Year 4K
Rambo Last Blood 4K
Rampage 4K
Ready Player One 4K
The Revenant 4K
Rise of the Planet of the Apes 4K
Robin Hood 4K
Rocket Man 4K
Saving Private Ryan 4K
Scarface 4K
Shazam! 4K
The Shining 4K
Sicario 4K
Sicario Day of the Soldado 4K
Solo A Star Wars Story 4K
Star Trek 4K
Star Trek Into Darkness 4K
Star Wars The Last Jedi 4K
Step Brothers 4K
Stuber 4K
Suicide Squad Superman The Movie 4K
Sully 4K
Tangled 4K
Terminator 2 4K
Thor The Dark World 4K
Tomb Raider 4K
Toy Story 4K
Toy Story 3 4K
Toy Story 4 4K
Transformers 4K
Transformers Revenge of the Fallen 4K
Transformers Dark of the Moon 4K
Transformers Age of Extinction 4K
Transformers The Last Knight 4K
Us 4K
War For the Planet of the Apes 4K
Waterworld 4K
Warm Bodies 4K
Wonder Woman 4K
Wonder Woman Bloodlines 4K
Yesterday 4K
Zero Dark Thirty 4K
Zombieland 4K
HD
007 Daniel Craig Collection
007 Thunderball
101 Dalmatians
A Bugs Life
Abominable
A Dog's Journey
Aladdin (animated)
Aladdin (2019)
Ali
Aliens
Alita Battle Angel
Alpha
American Pastoral
Annabelle
Annabelle Comes Home
Annabelle Creation
Annie (1982)
Annihilation
Ant Man
Ant Man vs the Wasp
The Art of Self Defense
Arrival
Assassination Nation
Avengers
Avengers Age of Ultron
Avengers Infinity War
Avengers Endgame
Bambi 2
Banana Splits Movie
Batman Complete Animated Series
Batman ninja
Batman Gotham by Gaslight
Batman Hush
Batman vs. TMNT
Beetlejuice
Ben is Back
Big
Big Little Lies Complete First Season
The Big Sick
Birdman
Blazing Saddles
Bleeding Steel -
Boo! 2
Booksmart
Border
Boss Baby
Boyhood
Brave (Disney)
breadwinner
Breakthrough
Bullet Head
Cabin in the Woods
Captain America The First Avenger
Captain America Winter Soldier
Captain Marvel
Casablanca
Castle Rock Complete First Season
Cheech and Chong’s Up in Smoke
Chernobyl Complete Mini Series
Childs Play
Cinderella (animated)
Cinderella (live action)
Cinderella II
Cinderella III
Constantine: City of Demons
Crawl
Creed II
Curse of La Llorona
The Danish Girl
The Dark Knight Trilogy
Day of the Dead Bloodline
Dead Water
Deadwood the Movie
Death of Superman
The Deuce Complete First Season
The Disaster Artist
Disneynature Born in China
Disobedience
Dope
Dora and the Lost City of Gold
Downtown Abbey
Drive
Dumbo (animated)
Dumbo (2019)
Dunkirk
Early Man
The Edge Of Seventeen
Edwards Scissorhands-
Eight Grade
Ex-Machina
Fast Color
Ferdinand
Finding Dory
Finding Nemo
Fight Club
First Reformed
The Florida Project
Free Fire
From the Earth to the Moon
Gemini
Godzilla King of the Monsters
The Goldfinch
Good time
Goosebumps 2
The Greatest Showman
Green Book
The Green Mile
Green Room
Guardians of the Galaxy
Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2
Happy Death Day 2 U
Happy Death Day
Hellboy (2019)
Her
Hercules (Disney)
Hereditary
High Life
Hobbs & Shaw
Hostiles
How to talk to girls at parties
Hurricane Heist
I can only Imagine
If Beale Street Could Talk
Imperium
In a Valley of Violence
The Incredible Hulk
Instant Family iTunes
Interstellar
Iron Man
Iron Man 2
Iron Man 3
Isn't it romantic
It 1990
It Chapter 2
It Comes At Night
It Follows
Jarhead: Law Of Return
Jaws
John Wick 1 + 2 bundle
John Wick 3 Vudu
Judy
The Jungle Book (Disney, animated)
The Jungle Book 2 (Disney)
Jurassic Park
Jurassic Park 2
Jurassic Park 3
Jurassic World
Justice League: Doom
Justice League: Gods & Monsters
Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox
The Kid Who Would Be King
Kidnap
Killers Anonymous
Kill Bill
The Killing of a Sacred Deer
The Lady and the Tramp
The Lady and the Tramp 2
Lady Macbeth
The Last Black Man in San Francisco
The Last Samurai
Leatherface
Lego Batman Family Matters
Lego Batman
Lilo and Stitch
The Lion King (2019)
Little
The Little Mermaid II
The Little Mermaid III
Loving
Lowriders
MA
Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome
Mad Max
Magnificent Seven (1960)
Man Who Invented Christmas
Mary Poppins
Mary Poppins Returns
Mary Queen of Scots
The Meg HD
Megan Leavey
Men in Black: International
Mid 90s
MIDNIGHT Special
Midsommar
Missing Link
Monsters U
Mosters Inc
Mortal Engines
My Left Foot
My Little Pony
Neighbors iTunes
Night Hunter
Nightcrawler
Oceans 8
Oklahoma!
Old Man & The Gun
Once Upon a Deadpool
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Overboard
Overcomer
Patti Cake$
Pavarotti
Pet Sematary (remake)
Peter Pan
Peter Pan Return to Neverland
Planes Trains and Automobiles
Pokemon Detective Pikachu
Prisoners
Proud Mary SD
Race
Rambo Last Blood (new one)
Ratatouille
Red 2
Regression
Rick and Morty S3
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Robin Hood 2018
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Se7en
Santa Clause
Santa Clause 2
Santa Clause 3
Shaft
The Shape of Water
Shazam
Siberia
Sicario
Silence
Sisters Brothers
Sleeping Beauty
Slow West
Smallfoot
Snow White
Southside with You
Speed
Spider Man
Spider Man 2
Spider Man Far From Home
Spinning Man
Split
Spotlight
Spring Breakers
Star Wars Episode I
Star Wars Episode II
Star Wars Episode III
Star Wars Episode IV
Star Wars Episode V
Star Wars Episode VI
Star Wars The Last Jedi
Solo A Star Wars Story
The Sound of Music
The Strangers: Prey at Night
The Stray
Stronger
Stuber
Super Troopers 2
SUSPIRIA
Swiss Army Man
Thank You For Your Service
Thor
Thor The Dark World
Thor Ragnarok
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri
Three Kings
Toy Story
Toy Story 2
Toy Story 4
Toy Story That Time Forgot
Traffik
Trainwreck iTunes
Transformers
Transformers Revenge of the Fallen
Transformers Dark of the Moon
Transformers Age of Extinction
Transformers The Last Knight
True Grit (1960)
Truth or dare
Tulip Fever
Tusk
Ugly Dolls (itunes only)
Vice
Welcome to Marwen
Westworld Season 1
Where is Kyra
While We're Young
Whiplash
Where'd You GO Bernadette
Winchester
Wind River
Wizard of Oz
Wonder Park
Wonder Wheel:
Wonder Woman Bloodlines
X-Men Dark Phoenix
You Were Never Really Here
You're Next
Requests
Joker
Gemini Man
Zombieland Double Tap
The Lighthouse

continuing
As I was picking myself up off the shooter’s shack floor, I glanced over to the TV.
The ballplayers were all wandering around the field, looking skyward. Evidently, there was this hellacious explosion…even the television sports commentators were speculating as to what happened.
Whoops.
I looked out into the quarry. The wall that I had charged had receded some 75 feet.
There was rather a large amount of shattered, blasted dolomitic limestone now in the quarry. Enough, I found out later, for a full month’s worth of orders.
We never did find the blasting mats. I think they sort of evaporated.
Luckily, the quarry is essentially an open amphitheater in plan view; basically a big hole in the ground with vertical limestone walls. The shockwave of the blast that didn’t spend itself shattering the limestone into which it was housed, blew out laterally, hit the opposite quarry wall, rebounded, and then dispersed, rather energetically, vertically upward.
I set off car alarms for a 20 block radius.
There were no broken home windows, as the lion’s share of the shock wave was redirected upward.
Good thing there were no low flying zeppelins or dirigibles in the area...
I waited the requisite time to allow for any loafers. There were none, so I jumped into the nearest wheel loader and began clearing the quarry floor. Hell, I had to so I could open the front gate.
As I was clearing the floor, making pile number eight of the loose rock I had liberated, I heard the characteristic whoop-whoop of emergency vehicles.
I parked the wheel loader, opened the front gate, and raised the green flag. That was enough blasting for one day.
A few minutes later, three police cars zoom into the site. Two were local city cops, and one was a state trooper.
“Hi, guys!” I waved, “Nice day, innit?”
“Doctor Rock! We should have known.” One of the local boys groaned.
“Hey, I did call you beforehand, as per procedure,” I said.
Polack the cop walks up, just knowing I was responsible. “Yeah, but we didn’t figure on you terrorizing the entire city.”
“Polack! How goes it?” I asked.
The other local cop and the state trooper look to Polack, “You know this maniac?”
“Oh, hell yeah. For years. Don’t worry, the good doctor is mostly harmless.” He chuckles.
“Damn. OK. I guess everything’s OK. Just no more shooting today, please, Doctor. It’s going to take hours to calm everyone down.” He laments.
“Yes, sir. I’m done for the day.” I reply, snickering slightly.
The one local and state trooper depart, shaking their heads in amazement. This left Polack to follow me over to the shooter’s shack to mooch a cigar and whatever else he can find.
“Jesus Hula-Dancing Christ, Rock. What the hell was that? I was all the way out in Whitewatosa and heard you.” He asks as he sneakily snakes a smoke out of my case.
“Just some common chemicals in the proper proportions.” I snicker.
“Which were?” he asks.
I go in the back of the shed and toss him an empty container of one of the parts of the binaries I used. He catches it, reads the label, and drops it like a live grenade.
“Binaries? Fuck! Like what you used at the tower?” he asks.
“Yep. I used just a little more.” I reply.
“Little more? Damn, as I said, we’ve been briefed on the stuff. This shit’s nasty.” He shakes his head.
“Yeah. Fun, too.” I reply.
Polack grabs a Sprechler’s Cream Soda out of the fridge as I opt for a cold Cream Ale and shot of potato juice. Hell, I was done for the day, so…
We sit around and have a chat, just shooting the shit, as it were. Manly topics, so the conversation eventually steered over to guns.
“Hey!” Polack remembers, “That’s right! You fucking owe me. Let me borrow that fucking cannon you carry. I want to show the chief a thing or two.”
“Yeah, that’s right”, I agree, “When do you need it?”
“This Friday, after shift. It’s the monthly qualifiers for us.” He notes.
“Are pyromaniacs allowed in?” I ask.
“To observe? Sure. To shoot? Nope. Insurance regulations.” He says.
“What time?” I continue.
“1800 hours.” He tells me.
“I’ll be there. I’ll bring my gun and an assortment of loads. Hey, this could be fun!” I evilly smile.
“Doctor. You’re doing that thing again. You’re grinnin’ like a shithouse rat. You know how much that scares me. Stop it.” He pleads.
“No worries. Friday at 1800 hours.” I reply, grinning.
Polack slurps down his Sprechlers, snitches another stogie, and squeals out of the quarry in a cloud of dense dolomitic dust.
I arrive back at our flat, after stopping for two frozen custard Turtle Sundaes, to go. I give one to an appreciative wife and I ask her about her day.
“Oh, went shopping with Oma. Got the cutest shoes, and a new purse, and…oh well, never mind. You’ll see.”
Between bites of Turtle Sundae, she asks how my day went.
“Oh, my dear. I had a real blast.” I replied, not lying in the least.
Monday, after my first classes, I’m back in the faculty lounge, savoring a Greenland Coffee.
There was the usual instructor chatter when Dean Vermiculari walks in.
“Good morning, Dean!” I say. “Care for a sit-down and a coffee?”
“Good morning, Doctor Rock. Yes, please to both.” He replies.
I fix us both a fresh Greenland Coffee and return to our table. I hand him one and sit down to savor my soupçon.
“How was your weekend?” I ask the Dean of the College.
“Oh, very nice. Had a fine time catching some perch and crappie out on Lake Genever. I see you had a victorious weekend as well. Twice.” He smiles.
“Twice?” I asked.
“Well, your handling of the tower demolition made all the papers. Very, very well done, Doctor. I congratulate you.” He smiles.
“Thank you, Dean. That means a lot. Just doing what I can with what I’ve got. But twice?” I replied.
“It wasn’t front-page news, but I saw there was some, well, let us just say, ‘energetic activity’ out at the Silurian reef limestone quarry yesterday.” He grinned.
“Oh, yes. I had a job to do and well, as I always say: ‘Nothing succeeds like excess.” I smile back.
“Quite. This beverage you’ve created is really rather extraordinary, Doctor. Again, I thank you.” He tips his mug my direction in the age-old Midwestern salute.
“It’s a little recipe I picked up on my last expedition to the northlands. I grew rather fond of the concoction.” I replied.
“Ah, I see. Marvelous.” He smiles.
“Thank you, Dean. High praise indeed.” I reply.
“Which leads me to…ah, Doctor Rock. I have another favor to impose upon you.” He says, all serious.
“Yes, Dean? How can I be of service?” I ask.
“We, as you no doubt know, have many, many fine extractive mineral company connections. We actually receive quite a large amount of funding and endowments from them. They recruit here extensively for our young geoscientists. Now, since Dr. Pataariki has left for industry himself, I would like to appoint you as the College of Natural Sciences corporate liaison.” He explains.
“Indeed?” I replied, too stunned for words for once.
“Yes, indeed.” He continues, “It will require travel, mostly domestic, and delivering symposia at various companies on differing extractive geological subjects. You will also serve as host and university coordinator when they are present on recruiting tours. There will, of course, be additional remuneration to accompany the added responsibilities.”
I slurped my coffee, thinking furiously.
“Could I please first discuss it with my wife before I answer?” I ask.
“Oh, Doctor. Of course, of course. Take your time. I will not require a reply until… tomorrow.” He smiles, finishes his coffee, thanks me again, and toddles out.
“Yow, Es!” I exclaim, “This is one hell of an opportunity. It’s never before been offered to a junior professor. This will cement my tenure-track. It’s going to be a bitch with time, though. What do you think I should do?”
“Well, Rock, honey, I think you should do…” Es begins.
“No! None of that ‘do what you think is best’ stuff. I want your own thoughts, just like when I decided to go after my doctorate.” I explained.
“OK, then.” Esme looks all serious like she’s going to deliver a bipartisan political speech.
“Yes.” She says, firmly
“That’s it?” I ask.
“Yep. You asked I answered. We’ll make it work. We always do. You can’t let the Dean down. You will accept tomorrow without fear or qualms of your wife’s hesitations, of which I harbor none.” Esme proclaims.
“Did I ever tell you of the myriad reasons I love you so?” I ask.
The next morning I meet with Dean Vermiculari. He’s pleased that I accept and hands over to me the charter. Then the lists of company representatives, their contact information, and some other secret stuff that I can’t divulge right yet.
A raft of oil companies will be coming in the late spring semester, so I need to contact each and every one to solidify dates, times and positions for which they’re recruiting. But that’s for then, I have something more proximal for now.
I have a Friday appointment with Polack the cop at the town police shooting range.
I arrive spot on time with my Casull .454 Magnum pistol, in its carry bag, along with a small duffel crammed with Pyrodex, Tannerite, and selection of specialty loads I had Herman the German, the inveterate gunsmith, create.
Herman the German, his actual sobriquet, was this incredible gunsmith, craftsman, and all-around artillery specialist. Have any sort of problem with a rifle, shotgun, or pistol? See Herman. Gun holding too high? See Herman. Barrel warped? See Herman. Need solid gold projectiles for a certain one-off job? See Herman.
Herman the German can sort it out.
Just never ask him: “How?”
“Ach! I’ve lived so long to learn, and you want it free? I’ll fix it, you pay, but I am only one knowing how!”
Herman was a cranky old Kraut, and has lived here for as long as anyone can remember. Even my Grandfather had deferred to Herman when he had some particularly delicate machining operation that need special attention and was unique.
As far as anyone knew, Herman had no family, but was never at a loss for friends. He was one of the most popular, and well known, but still oddly really unknown, kind of mysterious, old bastards in the entire community.
Herman the German liked me because I could obtain for him certain high-energy things he couldn’t. All were entirely legal, but some were sort of out there in the gray zone.
He also liked that I was educated, as he held education in the highest esteem. He also liked that I was of German extraction myself.
I often made it a point to drop by with odd and unusual high-octane potables while never expecting anything in return other than a story or a shared cigar.
Herman created some special loads for my .454 Magnum, which he prized.
“I like your gun, Doctor Rock, it is so big! I can still see well enough to build things for it.” He told me one day over cheroots and Schnapps.
Herman was a character to be certain. It must have been the pixie in him to dream up some of the specialty rounds he created for me to share with the local constabulary.
He lived out in the county by himself in an old farmhouse. He had a full machine shop in his basement, complete with forge, metal handling equipment, and a firing test range.
He handed back my .454, rather solemnly.
“Doctor, I am afraid to say I couldn’t test all the special rounds I’ve created for you. I need to patch the hole in the cinder blocks in the downstairs range. Your gun punched right through the back…” he apologized.
Now, Herman does all sorts of work on the local’s deer rifles, the police’s ordinance and has even worked some with the Baja Canada National Guard. Some of the little novelties he’s dreamed up for me are the first to escape his homemade basement test range.
I felt oddly honored.
After proving who I was to the nice range officer, I looked around trying to find Polack.
“It’s 1550. Where the hell is Polack? I wondered.
“Rock! Over here.” Polack calls to me.
He motions me outside to the police department’s tactical outdoor range. I had thought all along he was referring to the indoors police target range. This might pose some problems.
The tactical range was a series of clapboard shacks, all setup and designed to represent some downtrodden urban inter-city landscape. There were a couple of junked cars, broken sidewalks, storefronts, houses, bus stops…in short, all things necessary to replicate the seediest sections of a settlement where malefactors live and breed.
The cops all run around this range, shooting at bad guy pop-up cut-outs and avoid the not-bad-guy pop-up cut-outs. They’ve got music blaring, firecrackers going off, all trying to re-create a shady deeply urban environment. Points are awarded by the accuracy of fire on the run, time to maneuver the course, and the ability of not gunning down innocent bystanders.
It is not the best place to test a .454 Cusall. This hand cannon recoils like a fundamentalist Christian being solicited for donations to Anton LaVey, shoots flames and incandescent gasses like Smaug after a hard night of drinking and a stop at the Taco Bell buffet, is louder than a dime-store Karen demanding to see a Manager, and more powerful than a Ghost Pepper suppository.
To quote Joe Piscopo: “It shoots through schools.” Especially faux-schools made of plywood.
A .32 or .38 cop special is the correct weapon here; even a 9mm is a little heavy. Enough power to make a serious dent, easy on control, light on the recoil…a good tactical weapon.
But, nothing succeeds like excess.
Polack’s Chief is running around, capping off his ‘big ol’ .44 Magnum, and making the valley echo. He punches considerable holes in the pop-up cut-outs, but has such a hard time handling the recoil, his score is barely passable.
Polack runs his test with his standard 9mm sidearm and qualifies easily. However, he’s nowhere near done with his Chief yet.
I suggest to Polack we have a shoot-off. And since a .44 Magnum bullet ‘is so close to a .454 Magnum’, which it isn’t…the .454 Casull generates nearly 85% more recoil energy than the .44 Magnum; that we’d need something other than holes punched in plywood to judge the efficacy of each.
We are literally just down the road from Max Yazzer’s farm and market. They’re the place you go for your Halloween jack-o-lantern. However, now, he has a surplus of melons.
I think you can see where this is headed…
I borrow Polack’s personal conveyance and run down to Max’s farm. I return with a trunk-load of elderly, overripe, cheap as chips, melons. Watermelons, Honeydews, Musks, and Casabas.
We place them in strategic areas on the course, five for the Chief to find, and five for Polack.
A .44 vs. a .454 melon-wise results in pretty much the same sort of mess: high-velocity fruit spatter. Although, the Chief was very impressed by the report of the .454. So, after running the tactical-melon course, clear demarcation of a winner was elusive.
OK, OK, clever dicks. How about this? A standing shoot-off? We’ll set up 3 melons each at 30, 20, and 10 yards. Beginning at 30 yards, your time will be until you take out all three melons. But, they’re not going to be in a straight line, we’re going to make them somewhat camouflaged. You will stand in one small demarcated area, hunt those miscreant melons, and bring them to justice. Fastest time and greatest display wins, as determined by the Police Peanut Gallery.
Polack and the Chief agree.
The Chief goes first and dispatches the melons, with a fair amount of spatter, in 15.3 seconds.
Not bad.
Polack is next. He wipes out all the melons and creates some thoroughly impressive displays with Herman’s ‘special’ rounds. Normal ballistics for the .454 are, for a 250 grain (16 g) bullet, a muzzle velocity of over 2,400 feet per second, developing up to 2,800 ft-lb of energy.
Herman’s hot loads are double that.
Polack wins the day on impressive high-velocity melon distribution, but misses, so close, with a time of 17.0 seconds.
Recoil’s a bitch.
Then there are Herman’s ‘specialties’.
The Chief is duly impressed and even comments that his ears are ringing even with the ear protectors. He asks to inspect the weapon. He is even more than duly impressed.
Polack knows what’s up and asks the Chief if he’d like to give a whirl.
Of course, the Chief can’t back down.
Polack loads the .454 with 5 of Herman’s specialties: hollow-point rounds loaded hot, compressed, and tipped with alkaline earth metals, like metallic sodium and metallic potassium…
We set up the nastiest, glorpiest, just barely-holding-together, overripe, laced with Tannerite (an impact-actuated low-explosive) watermelon at the ‘Concealed Carry’ distance of 5 meters.
We slowly fade back into the distance to avoid the inevitable ‘Gallagher reaction’.
The Chief fires one, and just nicks the top of the melon. Don’t laugh, with the type of recoil and heft of the sidearm, and tensing up in anticipation, it’s easy to be off the mark initially.
The second round impacts dead-center. Now, alkaline earth metals and water don’t get along really well. In fact, their relationship is explosive. Especially explosive when delivered at 2,900 feet per second.
The Chief catches a huge smattering of vitamin-packed watermelony back blast goo.
He’s not entirely happy. He looks positively grisly with all that blown-up melon schmoo on his nice, neat uniform.
He returns my gun and bans me from ever showing up at the police range again.
Polack is on traffic duty for the next month.
He figures it was well worth it.
Back at the flat, Esme is shaking her head and wondering if I’ll ever grow up.
“I may grow old, but I’ll never grow up.” I reply.
I see I have several missed phone calls. Ah, me; no rest for the weary. Back to company-university liaison duties.
After I had contacted these companies, I receive no less than 12 requests for symposia, talks, and seminars to be given to various level of industrial scientific employees in their respective companies.
I am now slated to give academic conferences on stratigraphy, sedimentology, and seismic structural geology to different companies in Houston, Oklahoma City, Denver, Casper, Corpus Christi, New Orleans, and Tulsa. In the next 12 weeks, I’ll be giving no less than 8 talks in seven cities.
I speak with Dean Vermiculari on how best to handle the situation. He understands and appoints two graduate student teaching assistants to handle my classes while I’m on the road. That relieves me of being physically there, but I still have to grade papers, compose lesson plans, and keep things running smoothly until finals.
Besides giving the talks, there’s travel to oil fields, production facilitates, manufacturing plants, hotels, restaurants while I’m in town…the pace is excruciating. I’m gone more than I am at university. Plus in my time back home, I’m still the ad hoc master blaster for the limestone quarry.
Then, there’s the companies arriving on campus, and the roles are reversed. Now I’m the welcome wagon and have to sort out the logistics of receiving the company representatives. I need to set up the colloquia to introduce the companies to the prospective students, arrange lodging, arrange passes for the university, transportation, “Meet-and-Greet’s, ad infinitum.
I knew this was having a bit of effect on me when I came back to the flat after one particularly grueling ordeal of canceled flights, full hotels, missed connections and lukewarm reception by the company workers.
“Hello”, I said, as I walked in the flat, “I believe you have a reservation for…”
Esme just stood there, wondering if I was having a laugh.
No, I wasn’t. I was completely hallucinating from road weariness, lack of sleep, jet lag, and total disorientation. This continued on for the next approximately 18 months.
Esme was beginning to have second thoughts about all this.
My teaching load was diminished by one whole introductory course. However, I was still flying hither and yon, delivering symposia, meeting with young geoscientists and getting to know the ins-and-outs of the Oil Industry.
I found it particularly fascinating.
Time marched on and it was once again it was the recruiting season. We had no less than eight oil companies visiting the university in their quest to swell the roster of their junior scientists.
I’m still busier than a one-armed paperhanger in a windstorm, but have settled into a groove of sorts. I know the company recruiters and they now know me. I’ve actually struck up friendships with several. Particularly since I take them to the best local restaurants and bars after their recruiting duties are finished.
I’ve met with recruiting representatives of Shrill Petrol, Mexxon, Nobil, Nocono Oil, Flug, Geddy, Brutish Petroleum, and Qexaco.
The recruiting season is winding down and I find myself with Red (not Adair), of Nocono Oil.
“Well, Doctor Rock”, Red states, “Another fine recruiting run. We’ve snagged two of your young geologists and one geophysicist. I’d say it was almost a perfect score.”
We’re sitting in the Norton’s Steakhouse. After a couple of prime pink porterhouses, we’re working on the post-dinner double vodka and bitter lemon for me, and Lagavulin for Red.
“Almost perfect?” I ask.
“Yeah. There’s been this one small nagging concern from our company higher-ups.” Red continues.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“We need some more senior people. For one thing, we’ve recently opened a new petroleum laboratory down in our Houston office. Going to need some serious talent to run that show.” Red says.
“I see”, I reply, “And…?”
“We need mentors. Those with varied and far-flung knowledge. They must be well educated, global in experience and stature, with an [ahem] diverse set of skills.” Red notes.
“Whew”, I agree, “That’s a tall order. You want my help with names of possible candidates? Is that it?”
“Not as such, Doctor.” Red drains his drink, motions for me to do the same, and orders another round.
Our drinks arrive and Red downs half his in one gulp.
“Well, then”, I continue, “How can I help?”
Red chuckles, “For someone so educated, you can really be thick as two short planks at times.”
I sit back, and sip my Old Thought Provoker.
The mercury-vapors light off.
“No!” I say, incredulously.
“Oh, yes.” Red smiles.
“No?” I ask, slowly taking in the possible effects of what he’s hinting at…
“OK, Doctor Rocknocker”, Red gets all serious and corporate, “We’d like to offer you a position at Nocono Oil as Senior Laboratory Manager and Head of Corporate Continuing Education.”
You could have knocked me over with a grenade. I was stunned. I fumbled with my drink.
“Red, you old con artist” I reply, “Is this a set-up?”
Red, serious as a heart attack, looks directly at me and replies, “Doctor Rock, absolutely not, it’s a genuine offer.”
He slides over a folder with some papers inside. “Here are the particulars.”
Reeling, I accept the folder. I open it and right after the corporate logos and legal bullshit, I see a tall figure with a whole raft of zeros trailing behind it.
I read furiously. The job would be both interesting and challenging. It would be in Houston, with travel and teaching at all other company outposts on a regular basis. I reexamine that figure from before and verify that I’m not now hallucinating.
The job comes with furnished, corporate-paid housing, incredible benefits, loads of opportunity for advancement, more opportunity to travel, really generous vacation time…
“Right. On the level?” I ask again.
“Yep.” Red bluntly says.
“Well”, I gulp, “you know I have to discuss this with Esme”, whom he’s met several times previous.
“Of course, and you probably want to finish out the semester, correct?” red asks.
“Oh, yes.” I reply. There would be a monsoon of paperwork and other grunt work I’d need to conclude or hand over if I were to accept this offer.
“OK, then”, Red finishes his drink, motions for me to do the same, a real rarity; but I was in another dimension at this point. He orders another round and sits back, waiting on a refill.
“You have two weeks to reply” Red states.
“I know that’s not a terribly long time, but we need to fill this position ASAP. Can I ask for that? Your answer, yea, or nay, within a fortnight?” Red demands.
“Yes”, I reply. “I at least owe you that.”
And that was the end of the discussion for the night about me joining the private sector. We stayed a few more hours, chatting, smoking my cigars, and discussing everything but the lumbering elephant in the room.
We part outside as I need to head back to our flat. Red wants to go downtown to one of those “Gentleman’s Clubs” he’s heard were so famous at the time.
I was flummoxed the whole cab ride home.
It was late when I returned, but I simply had to wake Es with the news.
“Rock, for pity’s sake, its 2 o’clock in the morning!” Es protests. “Can’t this wait until later?”
“Sorry, my dear” I reply, probably as serious as I ever had with Esme. “This is a potential game-changer.”
“What is it? Are you OK?” Esme trembles.
“Oh, I’m fine. Better than fine.” I reply.
She’s relieved.
“Then what’s so important?” she asks.
“Um…how would you like to move to Houston?” I ask.
“You going to teach at Cougar High (University of Houston)?” she inquires.
“Nope. Brace yourself. I’ve been offered a job with Nocono Oil.” I finally spill the beans.
Esme is slightly stunned and sits down.
I go to the wet bar, fix me a bracing potato juice and citrus and Esme a stiff white Zinfandel.
I hand her the wine and she is still semi-dazed and digesting the information.
I slurp a good portion of my drink, retrieve her Sobranjes and me a cigar from my Turkmenistan humidor.
I sit on the couch next to her and hug her soundly.
“Esme? Es? Earth to Es? You in there?” I joke.
“Oh, Yeah. Rock. Really? Hang on”, she leaves, returning with her housecoat as this might take a little time.
“So?” I ask, “Your thoughts. Now! Immediately! Initial reaction!” I try to jar her back into reality.
“Well, what do you want?” she asks.
“C’mon, my dearest. You know I hate that. No, what do you think? What do you honestly think?” I reply.
We both fire up our smokes, and I refresh our drinks. We return to the dinner table where Red’s folder lies.
“Es, here. Look at this.” I say, sliding the portfolio over to her.
She reads like a hungry man at a Vegas casino buffet. I can tell where she was stopped by something extraordinary.
“This is for real?” she asks, “Red’s not pulling a fast one?”
“Nope. It’s the genuine article”, I tell her, “He needs my reply within two weeks.”
“Rock, Rock…I just don’t know. It’s a lot to process at 0230 in the morning. Let’s go to bed and have a think in the morning. You have the luxury of at least that amount of time.” She notes.
“Right again, as usual”, I say, “Stuff it. It can wait.” We toddle off to bed.
The next morning, over Cuban omelets and Greenland Coffees, we sort through the particulars.
“Rock, it’s an extraordinary offer. But, do you want to leave teaching? I remember how you got all animated by Dean Vermiculari giving you the corporate liaison job and how that would improve your shot at tenure.” She notes.
“I just don’t know. I’m still shell-shocked.” I tell her. “Let me go to school and we’ll pick this up tonight. We both have work to do no matter what. Oh, bloody hell. I hadn’t considered your job. Another wrinkle in the mess.”
“Don’t you worry about that”, Esme smiles. “One catastrophe at a time.”
“I do so love you.” I hug her soundly. “Think I should mention this offer to anyone at school?”
“No. Definitely not.” Esme shakes her head. “Let’s figure this out on our own.”
“I agree”, I say, kiss her and depart for school once again.
The next week was a blur. Recruiting duties were dragging and I was being preoccupied.
Even my students noted the lack of in-room explosions lately.
I spend the next Saturday at the quarry, doing some small amount of blasting. I quiz the quarry owners about their progress in acquiring a new master for the quarry’s operation.
“Oh, Doctor Rock” they gush, “You’re doing such a fine job, we haven’t really looked. Why do you ask?”
“No particular reason at this time, I reply, “But perhaps you might want to begin looking”
The chinks in my armor were finally starting to show.
Sunday was spent out on Sliver Lake, with Esme and me chasing the elusive crappie, perch, and bucketmouth bass. It also gave us a chance to clear our heads from work, school and other such intrusions. We both needed a bit of downtime.
Later that night, after a meal of beer-battered fillet of crappie and perch on the barbie, we sit down at the dinner table.
The portfolio sits there, taunting us.
I get up, makes us both our drinks, sit down and declare that this is it.
“Es, darling” I say, “its nut-cuttin’ time. We need to make our decision.”
“You’re right.” Es agrees, “Time for risk-reward analysis. Get some paper and some pencils.”
We spend the next few hours listing the pros and cons of accepting the Houston position or staying here and pursuing my tenured professorship.
After several hours, I stretch, stand, and go to the fridge. I retrieve the bottle of Bollinger Les Vieilles Vignes Francaises I had purchased the other day.
I return to the table with the wine and the glasses, pop the cork and pour us both a glass of high-brow bubble water.
I hug and kiss Esme like I had just returned from a long, solo expedition.
“Esme, my darling. I’d like to propose a toast. First to us. Hа здоровый!”
“Cheers!” Esme replies.
“Secondly to Red, Dean Vermiculari, the quarry guys, Polack the Cop, and all the others that makes our life weird around here.”
“Seconded”, Es echoes.
“Finally: to Houston, Texas. Our new home!” I finally add.
The next morning, Dean Vermiculari peers over the top of his pince-nez glasses. He’s not looking overly happy with me right now.
“Why is it, Doctor, that everyone that receives the job of corporate liaison ends up going with corporate?” he asks.
“Perhaps it’s just the exposure to another world that exists beyond academia.” I reply, truthfully.
“Doctor Rocknocker,” the Dean gravely states, “I am not at all happy about your decision. We had great hopes for you here and you were riding right up the tenure track. Another five years and it would have been assured.”
“Five years is a long time, Dean”, I state the obvious.
“Yes, indeed.” The Dean replies frostily. “However, you are young. Perhaps you need to get this private sector nonsense out of your system, then you can return to academia where you belong.”
“Perhaps, perhaps”, I reply.
“Please, do consider this option down the road. You and your antics will be missed here, by students and faculty alike.” He says.
“I will, Dean, I promise.” I reply “However, for now, it’s time for my boot heels to be wanderin’.”
“Doctor, I will miss your strange and unique way of looking at life. I reluctantly accept your resignation at the end of the current semester and wish you all the best in your newest endeavors. Please remember us when corporate support for academia is mentioned in your new company.” he says.
“I promise you, Dean, I will not forget what I’ve learned here and what you’ve taught. It’s the least I can do,” I reply. “I will never forget my roots.”
“All I can ask”, he concludes. He stands to shake my hand. We shake and my audience is over.
I resign from the quarry a week later. They haven’t found a new blaster but wish me well on my new journey. I tell them I’m here until the end of the semester, so I won’t leave them high and dry.
I tell Polack the Cop about all the goings-on.
“Who the hell can I roust for beer and cigars now?” He whines. “Let me know when you get to Texas if they need any cops. I wouldn’t mind trying’ that. Hell, maybe a Texas Ranger!”
“A Cheesehead Ranger…?” I assure him I will and pass a box of cigars to him as a parting gift. He gives me a mayoral-signed get-out-of-jail-free card.
“Now you can drive that old Harley just as crazy as you want.” He chuckles.
“Thanks, Polack.” I say, shaking his hand. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I sold my bike a week earlier.
Red was very chuffed with the news.
“Snagged me a big one this time!’ He laughed, over the phone.
There was enough paperwork, considerations and decisions to be made to last the remaining time Esme and I had in-state until our move. Already, a moving company had arrived, done inventory, and was preparing for our move to Houston.
Esme resigned her position and decided she wanted to take some time off. She wanted to be a housewife, a colleague, and not have to work for once at an outside job. My new position allowed for that in spades. Besides with her credentials, anytime when she wants to re-join the workforce, there are myriad opportunities in the Bayou City.
We made the choice of housing out west of town, in Katy, Texas. We could have chosen Sugarland, Addicks, Greenspoint, Greenway, or the Memorial area. However, these west Houston company properties were closest to the job and largest in square footage.
My students got wind of my resignation and relocation. They threw me an unexpected farewell party at the Gast Haus. It was nickel-beer night and since they were footing the bill, it all worked out just fine.
I would miss the old place. The camaraderie, the seasons, the university; hell my home these last many years. I’ve been on many, many expeditions, but I always returned home.
Now, home was moving and was awaiting our arrival.
Esme and I said our farewells to our families as well. We were the first through college, the first ones to travel international, the first Doctor in the family, and the first to leave the state.
That’s a lot of familial firsts.
I had to keep reminding everyone it wouldn’t be the last. Hell, we’re just moving to Texas, it’s not like we’re off to Greenland or Mongolia…
[Gasp]
We saddled up Es’s old Chevy Nova, took one last, lingering look in the rearview mirror, and said fare thee well to our previous lives.
“We’ll be back. Someday. I promise” I told the city of our youth and young married adulthood.
We decided to drive to Houston because we had the luxury of a bit of time. We needed the stretch to chew over some interpersonal and private things on the way to the next chapter in our lives. Besides, the weather was good, the roads ahead open and clear, and Texas had no ‘Open Container’ law, yet.
We pointed the old Nova south and hit the gas.
A week later, we’re wandering around our new house in Katy, Texas. Our belongings, scant though they may be, arrived the day after we did. Esme and I spent the next couple of day rearranging the house, buying necessary domestic bits and pieces, and getting to know our new neighborhood.
First thing, though, Esme wanted to replace the old Nova. I concurred, but insisted we keep it as a second car and went out to purchase our first new car as a couple.
I wanted a Land Rover. We ended up with a glossy black Toyota 4-Runner. Close enough.
I was scheduled to show up at my new job the next Monday.
I had my own parking spot, complete with “Reserved for Dr. Rock” painted on the bumper block. I was shown my new lab and was introduced to my seven laboratory assistants. I was shown the catalogs I could use to order what I needed and went over the requisition procedures.
I was trotted around to meet the company CEO, CFO, CIO, VPs and many, many more company executives and managers. I’ve met with presidents and heads of state, I was impressed but not overly. They seemed like a more or less nice bunch of chaps.
Almost exactly five weeks to the day from our arrival in Houston, I come home, yelling “Darling, I’m home!”
Esme comes to greet me with a rib-rearranging hug. She tells me to sit at the dinner table, where my long hard day at the office drink, cigar, ashtray, and lighter are already set.
“How was work, dear?” she asks, sitting down with her Perrier water.
“Oh, it’s going great. The knotheads let me have an open-ended budget until I get the labs sorted just the way I want it. These guys pay their bills on time and I have carte blanche at Wards Scientific, and other supply houses. My crew is great, no interpersonal crapola, and hard workers. I can smoke in my office and no one dares give me shit about my cigars. I’m getting to know the exploration department quite well. They’re really interested in our expeditions and are more interested in my opinions of their new exploration directives.”
Esme just smiles and sips her water.
“Odd”, I thought.
“That’s great, dear.” She says. “I am so glad to hear it.”
“Me too”, I say, “How are you holding up after all these weeks alone?”
“Oh, I’m getting used to it.” She smiles.
And smiles. Beatifically. Glowing.
“What?” I ask.
“Remember what we talked about in the car on the way down here?” She asks.
“We talked about a lot of things…” I say, suddenly my eyes grew very, very wide indeed.
“Yes. You’re going to be a father. I’m pregnant, Rock.” Esme smiles.