SUBMISSION	DOMAIN
Sanders edges Buttigieg in New Hampshire, Dem front-runners	apnews.com
Bernie Sanders Wins The New Hampshire Democratic Primary	huffpost.com
Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire primary	thehill.com
Hey Everyone, Bernie Is 2-0': Sanders Wins First-in-the-Nation Primary. After nabbing popular vote victory in Iowa, Sanders takes the Granite State. "What we have done together here is nothing short of the beginning of a political revolution," Sanders declared.	commondreams.org
Bernie Sanders Has Won The New Hampshire Primary. What’s Next?	rollingstone.com
Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire Primary	nytimes.com
Bernie Sanders Wins New Hampshire	nytimes.com
Sanders wins New Hampshire Primary	nbcnews.com
Socialist Bernie Sanders Wins New Hampshire	dailywire.com
New Hampshire primary: Bernie Sanders wins, CBS News projects	cbsnews.com
Sanders projected to win the New Hampshire Democratic primary	jpost.com
New Hampshire Feels the Bern: Sanders Wins First-in-the-Nation Primary	commondreams.org
Bernie Sanders projected to win New Hampshire primary: NBC News	cnbc.com
New Hampshire primary: Bernie Sanders projected to win as Democrats look to clarify muddled race	abc7ny.com
Bernie Sanders wins the New Hampshire Democratic primary	nbcnews.com
Bernie Sanders and Pete Buttigieg locked in another tight race in New Hampshire	cnn.com
Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire primary, making him the new national frontrunner	businessinsider.com
Bernie Sanders just won the all-important New Hampshire primary	vox.com
NBC News Exit Poll: Income divides Sanders and Buttigieg supporters in New Hampshire primary	nbcnews.com
New Hampshire: Bernie Sanders leads in early results from key primary	theguardian.com
Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire Democratic primary	sbs.com.au
Bernie Sanders sweeps New Hampshire, eyes oligarch	njtoday.net
Sanders wins New Hampshire primary in narrow victory over Buttigieg	marketwatch.com
'Hey Everyone, Bernie Is 2-0': Sanders Wins New Hampshire Primary	commondreams.org
With New Hampshire Behind Him, Sanders Looks to Nevada Workers as Vegas Union Bosses Rally Against Him	theintercept.com
Sanders on NH victory: Win is 'beginning of the end for Donald Trump'	thehill.com
Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire Democratic primary; Buttigieg, Klobuchar are top moderate candidates	washingtonpost.com
Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire primary - 'We are putting together an unprecedented, multi-generational, multi-racial movement, and this is a movement from coast to coast'	independent.co.uk
Sanders wins three-way contest in New Hampshire primary	wsws.org
Another split decision: Sanders narrowly beats Buttigieg in New Hampshire - Amy Klobuchar captures headlines with strong third-place finish; Warren and Biden far back in fourth and fifth	salon.com
Democratic field narrows after New Hampshire but race is far from settled - The Democratic presidential primary now appears to be a battle between Bernie Sanders and any candidate who can stop him	theguardian.com
Sanders edges Buttigieg in New Hampshire, cementing Democratic front-runners	denverpost.com
Bernie Sanders' uneasy New Hampshire win	axios.com
Sanders Wins In New Hampshire, Narrowly Beating Buttigieg	aljazeera.com
Bernie takes New Hampshire as Buttigieg, Klobuchar fight to be his main opponent - Sanders emerges as frontrunner, but dropoff from 2016 suggests his campaign falls far short of a "revolution"	salon.com
Sanders wins vote; Buttigieg leads in total delegates	cnn.com
Bernie Sanders has crushed his Left-wing rivals while moderates fight each other - The battle among centrists to find an alternative is further boosting Bernie Sanders	telegraph.co.uk
How Sanders Held Off Buttigieg And Klobuchar In New Hampshire	fivethirtyeight.com
Sanders Is The Front-Runner After New Hampshire, And A Contested Convention Has Become More Likely	fivethirtyeight.com
Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire primary, narrowly beating Pete Buttigieg and Amy Klobuchar	latimes.com
Bernie Sanders a limp leader after barely squeaking by in New Hampshire	nypost.com
Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire, DOJ turmoil and Westminster names new top dog: The Morning Rundown	nbcnews.com
Sanders Is Winning Because He's Popular - Voters like the senator from Vermont—it’s socialism that makes them nervous.	theatlantic.com
Bernie Sanders Got More Young Voters in New Hampshire Than Everyone Else Combined	vox.com
Fueled by Diverse Working Class Voters, Sanders' New Hampshire Win Celebrated as 'Major Victory for Progressive Movement'	commondreams.org
Did Bernie Sanders underperform in New Hampshire?	vox.com
Watching Bernie Sanders Claim Victory In New Hampshire	newyorker.com
New Hampshire resident tells MSNBC that its anti-Bernie Sanders coverage made her 'angry,' inspired her to vote for him in primary	theblaze.com
With Back-to-Back Wins for Sanders, Pundits Proven Wrong in Iowa and New Hampshire	commondreams.org
What New Hampshire's exit polls tell us about the primary - Bernie Sanders cleaned up among younger voters but was spurned by older ones. For Amy Klobuchar, it was the opposite.	politico.com
Sanders rolls forward amid moderate divide - His triumph in New Hampshire also illuminated his vulnerabilities.	politico.com
In New Hampshire and Beyond, Medicare for All Is Fueling Sanders’s Rise	truthout.org
Ex-Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein laid into Bernie Sanders after his New Hampshire win, saying he'll wreck the economy and let Russia 'screw up the US'	businessinsider.com
'Do They Never Learn?': Progressives Rip Media Attempts to Downplay Bernie Sanders Win in NH Primary	commondreams.org
Why Bernie Sanders's New Hampshire primary win should terrify you	washingtonexaminer.com
Former Goldman Sachs CEO rips Sanders after NH win: 'He'll ruin our economy'	thehill.com
Democrats eye Nevada, South Carolina after Sanders wins in New Hampshire	reuters.com
Bernie Sanders’ New Hampshire Victory Is a Big Deal for Socialism in America. Here's What To Know About the History of the Idea	time.com
Analysis: Bernie Sanders' New Hampshire win ups pressure on moderates to coalesce	pressdemocrat.com
Bernie Sanders lost among New Hampshire voters focused most on beating Trump New Hampshire shows Bernie Sanders still has an “electability” problem.	vox.com
What changed for Sanders in New Hampshire since 2016? The electorate, for one.	washingtonpost.com
Health Insurance Giant Reacts to Bernie Sanders' Slim Win	finance.yahoo.com
Bernie Sanders claimed victory in the New Hampshire primary. Here's what that win means	abc.net.au
Progressives to Voters Skeptical of Bernie Sanders: This 'Big Tent' Movement Is a Winning and Practical Choice — "Sanders is much more pragmatic and less ideological than his opponents would like to admit."	commondreams.org
Bernie Sanders’ New Hampshire Win Was Fueled By the Sunrise Movement . Organizers with the Sunrise Movement and New Hampshire Youth Movement mobilized the youth vote in New Hampshire, helping Bernie Sanders win the primary.	teenvogue.com
New Hampshire 2020: In Supreme Irony, the Horse Race Favors Bernie Sanders	rollingstone.com
What revolution? New Hampshire results show Bernie Sanders base of support shrinking	washingtonexaminer.com
Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire primary; Buttigieg leads in delegate count	fox8.com
The Night Socialism Went Mainstream - Bernie Sanders’s victory in the New Hampshire primary marks a turning point for Democratic politics.	theatlantic.com
Elon Musk tweeted a bizarre 'Sonic'-themed meme of Bernie Sanders after he won the New Hampshire primary	businessinsider.com
SC’s Joe Cunningham slams Bernie Sanders’ ‘socialism’ ahead of 2020 Democratic primary	postandcourier.com
Investors bet on Sanders after New Hampshire win as Biden plummets: Smarkets	finance.yahoo.com
Bernie Sanders and No One are tied for winning the Democratic Primary according to 538	projects.fivethirtyeight.com
'South Carolinians don’t want socialism': Democrat slams Bernie Sanders ahead of state primary	washingtonexaminer.com
Sanders Would Bring the Center-Left’s Collapse to U.S.: Bernie Sanders winning the Democratic nomination wouldn’t be a freakish occurrence outside the experience of other advanced democracies.	politico.com
‘Terrified of Bernie’: Sanders’ socialism spooks swing-district Democrats	washingtontimes.com
AOC’s Speech Snub, ICE Remarks Rankle Bernie Sanders Campaign- AOC’s people were said to be unhappy at being called on the carpet and expressed concern over Sanders’s Joe Rogan embrace—but now AOC is back on the stump in New Hampshire.	vanityfair.com
Bernie Sanders's New Hampshire Win Confirms He is the Front-runner, Like It or Not	teenvogue.com
Why Does Mainstream Media Keep Attacking Bernie Sanders as He Wins?	gq.com
Bernie Sanders on His Big Win in New Hampshire	msnbc.com

It's 6 AM on a Saturday, I can't fall back asleep, and in my fever dream pitch of rolling around in bed I actually thought of a methodology to go about this that won't make me want to kill myself. So here we go.
Methodology: Kupo Bot entered service in roughly mid to late 2015. One of the features of Kupo Bot is to scan the Lodestone for new entries and post them to various Discords that have subscribed to it. One of these Discords is the main sub Discord, which has existed throughout the game's life. SE is also very consistent in how they name their Mog Station posts, that is to say: "New Optional Items Available". So I just limit my search to the Lodestone dump channel and search for those words, and we get every article Kupo Bot (Or a main sub mod) posted. For optional items before Kupo Bot, I had to look manually.
Bolded dates are those where the release was unique to Mog Station, and not a seasonal rerelease. I might have missed some. I also counted the Fanfest things here because those cost real money either way, some of just just got a Vegas trip attached.
3/27/2014: Not a Mog Station thing, but the Hire Additional Retainers service was launched here.
6/05/2014: Fantasias introduced. At the time, Fantasia was account-wide and you could buy up to 9 phials of it. This will change on 10/28/2014.
MOG STATION STORE LAUNCHES HERE. THIS COINCIDES WITH PATCH 2.4
10/28/2014: Fantasia (10 each), Y'shtola minion, Yda minion, Papalymo minion (5 each), Sleipnir mount (Single character, account wide, 24), All Saint's 2013 items (3 to 5 each)
12/25/2014: Many old Heavensturn Kabutos (3 each)
1/27/2015: Old Valentione's outfits (5 each) and accessories (3 each)
3/03/2015: Old Hatchingtide items (3 each for hats and rings)
4/27/2015: Moonlet earring (3), Metallic Red/Green/Blue dyes (7.50 each for 10, no individual sale)
HEAVENSWARD RELEASES HERE
7/07/2015: Alisae and Tataru minions (5 each)
8/05/2015: Old Moonfire yukatas (3 each), Bomb Dance emote (2), Thancred and Minfillia minions (5 each)
9/08/2015: Old Moonfire swimsuits (5 each), yukatas (3 each), underwear (3 each), clogs (3 each)
10/26/2015: Eerie Garments (5), Pumpkin Earrings (3), Eerie Barding (7)
11/10/2015: Minfillia Outfit + Hair (15), Yda, Papalymo, Thancred, Y'shtola, Urangier outfits (8 each), 13 different varieites of "special" dye like Pure Black and so on (1 each).
12/01/2015: White Devil and Red Baron mounts (Single character, 12 each), Starlight Attire (5), False Mustache (3), Hoary the Snowman (5)
12/14/2015: Hitsuji Kabuto, Black Hitsuji Kabuto, Crimson Hitsuji Kabuto, White Hitsuji Kabuto (3 each), Tender Lamb Minion (5)
2/25/2016: Lightning Stuff, Snow Stuff (15 each), 8 FF13 weapons (3 each), Peach Blossom Choker, Egg Earrings, Vibrant Egg Earrings, Brilliant Egg Earrings, Midnight Egg Earrings (3 each)
3/30/2016: Bennu (Account-wide, 24)
4/26/2016: Cid Attire, Garlond Ironworks Attire (8 each), Miniature Dreadwyrm, Premium Stuffed Moogle (15 each), Emerald Carbuncle Lamp, Topaz Carbuncle Lamp, Ruby Carbuncle Lamp (5 each)
5/31/2016: Doman Magpie minion, Panda Cub minion (5 each), Huzzah emote (2)
6/28/2016: Southern Seas Vest, Striped Southern Seas Vest, Southern Seas Trunks, Southern Seas Swimsuit, Striped Southern Seas Swimsuit, Southern Seas Tanga (3 each)
7/26/2016: Fat Moogle mount (2 seater, account wide, 30)
8/04/2016: Deluxe Bombard Lamp, Deluxe Moonfire Lantern, Deluxe Wooden Bucket (5 each)
8/25/2016: Y'shtola outfit 2, Thancred outfit 2 (15 each), Iceheart minion, Yugiri minion (5 each)
9/28/2016: Far Eastern Garb for Men/Women (18 each), Doman Barding (10), Eastern Greeting emote (7), 2 more specialty dye varieties (1 each)
10/20/2016: Witch outfit (5), Witch Broom mount (Single character, 12), Pumpkin Butler minion (5), Deluxe Pumpkin Candlestand, Deluxe Eerie Wallpaper, Deluxe Pumpkin Basket, Deluxe Stuffed Succubus, Deluxe Pumpkin Desk, Deluxe Pumpkin Chair (5 each)
11/01/2016: Far Eastern Patriarch/Matriarch outfits (18 each)
12/14/2016: Reindeer outfit, Santa Hat set (5 each), 2014/2015 Starlight Furnishing sets (10 each, individual pieces of each 5 each), Deluxe Starlight Interior Wall, Jumbo Snowman, Empty Present Boxes, Jumbo Star-topped Starlight Sentinel, Jumbo Moon-topped Starlight Sentinel, Jumbo Sun-topped Starlight Sentinel (5 each)
12/26/2016: Jumbo Paissa Doll, Jumbo Oriental Orange Basket, Jumbo Sheep Dolls, Jumbo Kadomatsu (5 each), See No Helm, Speak No Helm, Hear No Helm (3 each)
1/31/2017: Butlery Barding (10), 2016 Valentione Furnishing set (10, individual pieces for 5 each), Authentic Flame of Passion (5), Black-feathered Flat Hat, Red-feathered Flat Hat, Paramour's Earrings, Platinum Paramour's Earrings (3 each)
2/27/2017: Play Dead emote, Backflip emote (7 each), Little Ladies' Day 2016 Furnishing set (10, individual pieces for 5 each), Lord's/Lady's Suikan Set (5)
3/28/2017: Aymeric Outfit and Hair (15), Ward Knight and Ward Mage sets (8 each), Heavensward Knight weapons for 6 different jobs (3-5 each depending on the contents per job), Pa-Paya Orchestrion Roll (3), Egg Hunter Barding (7), Authentic Archon Egg Tower, Authentic Egg Floor Lamp (5 each)
4/25/2017: Moogle Attire (12), Yellow-Pommed Moogle Cap (3), Angelic and Demonic Barding (10 each), Eastern Dance emote (7)
5/30/2017: Fuga Attire (18), Eastern Stretch emote (7), Authentic Senor Sabotender Trophy (5)
STORMBLOOD RELEASES HERE
Not noted in an individual post, both MSQ and Job level potions become available at this time for 25 dollars each, 18 if you just want to skip ARR.
7/04/2017: Deluxe Ornamental Bamboo (5)
7/19/2017: Posing Ranger emote set (7.50, individual ranger pose sets for 3 each), Legacy Warrior Attire (5), Moonfire Faire Orchestrion Roll (3), Deluxe Oriental Wind Chime, Limited Edition Firefly Lamp (5 each)
9/04/2017: Blackbosom Attire (12), Blackbosom Weapons (7 for the set, 3 each)
10/10/2017: Far Eastern Noble's Attire (18), Retainer Leveling Potions (9 each), 2 more varieties of specialty dye (1 each), Gold Leaf Flooring and Wall (5 each, sets of 3 for 10 each), Vampire's Vest (3), Continental Eye minion (5), All Saints' Wake Orchestrion Roll, Up at Dawn Orchestrion Roll (3 each), Piping Hot Pumpkin Stew (5)
10/31/2017: Far Eastern Gentleman's/Beauty's Attire (18 each)
12/26/2017: Aquamarine and Citrine Carbuncle Mounts (Single seat, account wide, 24 each), Emerald and Topaz Carbuncle outfits (18 each), Pretty Please emote (7), Red Tori Kabuto, Black Tori Kabuto (3), Handmade Happy New Chocobo (5), Heavensturn Orchestrion Roll (3)
1/30/2018: Mystic Panda mount (Single seat, account wide, 24), Dote emote (2), Authentic Paramour Vase (5), Angel of Mercy minion (5), The Kiss Orchestrion Roll (3)
2/14/2018: Loyal Housemaid's/Butler's Outfit (18 each)
2/27/2018: Power Up emote (7), Songbird emote (2), Songbird/Royal Senechal Attire (5 each), Authentic Eastern Cherry Petal Pile, Authentic Little Ladies' Day Advertisement (5 each)
3/13/2018: Distressed Manderville Attire (12)
3/27/2018: Emerald and Topaz Carbuncle Slippers (6 each), Megaflare Emote (12), Authentic Eggstravagant Interior Wall, Eggileration System mount (Single seat, single character, 12)
4/24/2018: Nezha Chariot Mount (Single seat, account wide, 24), Nezha Barding (10), Nezha Lord's/Lady's Attire (18 each)
5/08/2018: Angelic/Demonic Attire (18 each)
5/29/2018: Melodious Mogchestrion (15), Rise of the White Raven (Orchestral Version) Orchestrion Roll, Revenge Twofold (Orchestral Version) Orchestrion Roll, Oblivion (Orchestral Version) Orchestrion Roll (5 each)
6/05/2018: Eureka emote (2)
6/26/2018: Fairie Tale Prince's/Princess's Attire (18 each)
7/31/2018: Lord Hien's Attire (12 in all its pixelated glory), Eastern Faire-goer's Attire (5), Authentic Evercold Shaved Ice, Second Edition Moonfire Faire (5 each), Hyper Rainbow Z Orchestrion Roll (3)
8/27/2018: Wind-up Lyse minion, Wind-up Gosetsu minion (5 each), Authentic Rising Balloon (5), Stormblood Orchestrion Roll, Answers - Reprise Orchestrion Roll (3 each)
9/01/2018: Red Hare mount (Single seat, account wide, 24), Crimson Lotus emote (7)
9/25/2018: Gosetsu's Attire (12), Serenity (Orchestral Version) Orchestrion Roll, Calamity Unbound (Orchestral Version) Orchestrion Roll, Ominous Prognisticks (Orchestral Version) Orchestrion Roll (5 each)
10/16/2018: Male/Female Werewolf Set (5 each), Authentic Ghost Candlestand, Authentic All Saints' Wake Advertisement, Authentic Pumpkin Tower, Authentic Pumpkin Pie Set, Authentic Pumpkin Pudding Set (5 each)
10/30/2018: Indigo Whale mount (Two-seater, account wide, 30), Golden Upholstered Interior Wall, Golden Kasamatsu Interior Wall (5 each, sets of 3 for 10 each)
11/16/2018: SDS Fenrir (Single character, fast, account wide, 30), Wind-up Tifa (Account-wide, 7)
11/26/2018: Mun'gaek/Eastern Socialite Attire (18)
12/11/2018: Starlight Bear Horn (Single seat, single character, 12), Authentic Starlight Sapling, Authentic Starlight Stew Set, Authentic Starlight Log Set, Authentic Starlight Celebration Advertisement (5 each), Starlit Gateway Orchestrion Roll (3)
12/25/2018: Box Step and Side Step emotes (7), Exclusive Stuffed Dog (5), White Inu Kabuto, Black Inu Kabuto (3 each)
1/29/2019: Enormous Stuffed Alpha (15), Left and Right Broken Heart mounts (Single seat, single character, 12 each), Authentic Valentione's Day Balloons, Authentic Valentione's Day Advertisement, Authentic Rose Wagon (5 each)
2/26/2019: Fatter Cat mount (Single seat, account wide, 24), Authentic Far Eastern Doll Display (5), Songbird's Cheer emote set (5, 2 per individual emote), Siren Song Orchestrion Roll (3)
3/22/2019: Get Fantasy and Popoto Step emotes (7 each)
4/16/2019: Motley Egg Minion (5), Authentic Hatching-tide Banner (5)
4/23/2019: Minfillia Outfit 2 (12)
5/14/2019: Abe's/High Summoner's Attire (12 each)
5/28/2019: Far Eastern Schoolboy/Schoolgirl attire (18 each), Magic Carpet mount (Single seat, single character, 24)
SHADOWBRINGERS RELEASES HERE
And with it, job jump potions update to level 70, and MSQ updates to Stormblood. No pricing changes.
7/30/2019: Far Eastern Officer's/Maiden's Outfit (18 each), Endless Summer Attire (5), Splash emote (2), Authentic Mosquito Moogle, Authentic Curry Plate (5 each)
8/27/2019: Krile Outfit (12), Revolutions Orchestrion Roll (3), Wind-up Cirina minion (5), Replica Manderville Earrings, Replica White Ravens (3 each), Wind-up Yuna, Lulu, Rikku (Account-wide, 7 each)
9/30/2019: Sunspun Cumulus Mount (Single character, single seat, 12), Exclusive Eastern Journey Attire (18), Little Yin/Yang minions (5 each), Five Authentic Pumpkin Pastry Platter, Authentic Pumpkin Party Pennants, Authentic Familiar Pawprints (5 each)
10/29/2019: Artist Reproduction Set (Collector's Edition art as a housing item, 20 for the set of 4, 10 each), Modern Cosmetics: A Wicked Wake (7)
11/29/2019: Alma's Attire (12)
12/18/2019: Choir Attire (5), Authentic Silver Starlight Sentinel, Five Baskets of Authentic Starlight Donuts, Authentic Evercold Starlight Snowman, Authentic Opened Twinkleboxes (5 each), Starlight, Starbright Orchestrion Roll (3)
12/26/2019: Jumbo Hard Rice Cakes, Authentic Boar's Head Kadomatsu (5 each), Inoshishi Kabuto, Crimson Inoshishi Kabuto (3 each)
2/04/2020: Toast emote (7), Gigas Greatsword, Tonberry Knife (3 each), Five Authentic Valentione Lobster Platters, Five Authentic Valentione Cake Pairings, Authentic Stuffed Mammet (5 each)
2/25/2020: Y'shtola Outfit 3 (12), Y'shtola staff (3)
3/02/2020: Flower Crown (3), Five Servings of Authentic Festive Chirashi-zushi, Five Plates of Authentic Festive Sushi Balls (5 each)
3/26/2020: Spriggan Stonecarrier mount (Single seat, account wide, 24), Spriggan Attire (5), Authentic Archon Egg Pile, Five Authentic Eggcentric Crown Roast Sets, Five Authentic Eggcentric Chocolate Cakes (5 each), Heel Toe and Goobbue Do emotes (7 each)
4/28/2020: Mheg Deaca Attire (18), Ruby Carbuncle Attire (18), Ruby Carbuncle Slippers (6), Rubellite Carbuncle mount (Single seat, account-wide, 24)
5/26/2020: Kingly Peacock mount (Single-seat, account-wide, 24), Peacock Attire (18)
8/11/2020: Moonfire 2019 items (3 each)
8/27/2020: A small pile of patch note posters (5 each), Brave New Y'shtola minion (5), Authentic Portable Pool, Authentic Wind Chime Stand (5 each), THE DREADED CHOCOBO CARRIAGE MOUNT (4-seater, account-wide, 36), Oktoberfest sets (18 each)
9/29/2020: Snap emote (7), additionally free trial players can buy things now
10/21/2020: Alphinaud bodysuit (18), Circus Ahriman mount (single seat, single character, 12), Senor Sabotender emote (2), old All Saint's housing items (5 each)
END OF LISTING
Now it may look like I kind of stopped giving a shit near the end there, and while that's partially true, SE's also made doing this harder circa August 2020 or so. After the Online Store revamp they stopped listing the new items directly on the Lodestone posts, and instead just gave screenshots and said "new stuff available at the store". And they were doing so well when they started giving the actual prices on the Lodestone posts in 2018.
It's also very possible I might have missed items or releases. Please inform me if so.
What conclusions can we draw from this data? Well, here are mine:

Unique items have been a part of the Mog Station since its inception with the Sleipnir mount. However, the modern Mog Station as we know it indeed happened sometime near the middle or end of Heavensward. By that point, we have both the first Far Eastern sets releasing, as well as a steady stream of Mog Station unique mounts that have released at a steady tick ever since.
Pricing has a scheme to it while being somewhat arbitrary as well. Old seasonal items are priced consistently, as are Eastern and other specialty/unique items. The spot where pricing is variable is Scion/NPC outfits. Y'shtola has had 3 outfits release all at different price points. Y'shtola outfit 2 is more expensive than 3. This means we should not read terribly much into the Alphinaud outfit's pricing, as it's likely as arbitrary as the rest.
This listing has me fairly convinced that the Eastern items (Including the Panda and Peacock mount) are indeed released on their own independent schedule as SE's partners make them and license them out. There are times where a Mog Station release happens, then a week later we get Eastern-themed stuff. This gives credence to the theory that it's not really in their control and likely tangled up in some license agreements somewhere.
If we discount the Eastern stuff, we can see they have a steady click of putting out unique mounts every 4 or so months, and unique outfits on about the same 4-6 month pace.

Feel free to draw your own conclusions from this post and discuss it, and also feel free to use this data in any form you'd like if you want to make it more presentable via Excel or some visualization software that I am far too lazy to use.

[USA] [H] Tons of Xbox/Xbox 360/PS2 Games Plus Wii/Wii U/GC/GBA/DS/3DS/PS3/PS4 and More [W] PayPal, Sealed Pokemon TCG Products

Hey! All of the prices are OBO, so feel free to make an offer, especially if you're interested in multiple games! Shipping'll depend on the weight of everything you're interested in, but on average it'll be between $3 and $5. I’ll take photos for you upon interest of games.
I may have accidentally forgotten to denote some CIB games missing manuals, but if you express interest I’ll check and take pictures and let you know.
Xbox:

Tony Hawk's Underground Platinum Hits (Game and Case, No Manual): $7
Hunter: The Reckoning (Disk Only): $6
Shrek 2: $5
2x X-Men Legends: $5 each
Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay: $12
3x Pirates of the Caribbean: $9 each
Fable: The Lost Chapters: $12 shipped
LA Rush: $4
Midnight Club II: $4
Monster Garage: $3
The Incredibles: $10 shipped
Syberia: $6
Deus Ex: Invisible War: $3
Hulk: $10 shipped
Superman Returns: $10 shipped
Disney's The Haunted Mansion: $10 shipped
Big Mutha Truckers: $5
Dance Dance Revolution II: $3
Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: $4
Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Legend: $12 shipped
Enclave: $4
Top Spin: $3
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2003: $3
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2005: $2
Call of Duty 3: $4

Xbox 360 Games/Items:

Authentic Black Wireless Controller: $13
Kinect: $13
Kinect Adventures: $2
Kinectimals (Black Case): $8
Kinectimals (Purple Case): $9
Tropico 3 Demo Disk 107 (Official Xbox Magazine Edition): $10 shipped
Splinter Cell Conviction Demo Disk 111 (Official Xbox Magazine Edition): $10 shipped
The Bourne Conspiracy Demo Disk 85 (Official Xbox Magazine Edition): $11 shipped
IL 2 Sturmovik: Birds of Prey Demo Disk 102 (Official Xbox Magazine Edition): $12 shipped
Borderlands Demo Disk 103 (Official Xbox Magazine Edition): $12 shipped
Resident Evil 5: $4
Grand Theft Auto IV: $5
Batman: Arkham City (Disk only, in GameStop Case): $4
Race Pro (Disk only, in GameStop Case): $4
Mafia II (Disk Only): $7
Borderlands Game of the Year Edition: $10
Borderlands 2 (Disk Only): $4
Call of Duty: Black Ops (No Manual): $9
Call of Duty: World At War: $5
Call of Duty: Modern Warefare 2 (Disk Only): $3
Call of Duty: Ghosts: $5
Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter: $4
Gears of War 3 (Disk only, in GameStop case): $3
Madden NFL 08: $4
Madden NFL 09: $3
Madden NFL 10: $3
Madden NFL 11 (Disk Only): $1
Madden NFL 25: $5
NHL 08: $4
NHL 11: $3
NHL 13: $3
NBA 2K9: $3
NBA 2K13: $4
NBA 2K14: $4
NBA 2K15: $5
FIFA Soccer 11: $4
FIFA Soccer 12: $3
FIFA Soccer 15: $4
Gears of War (Platinum): $9 shipped
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim: $9 shipped
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (basic case): $8 shipped
Xbox Live Arcade Compilation Disc: $4
3x Call of Duty Modern Warefare 3: $6 each
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 08: $4
4x Sega Superstars Tennis and Xbox Live Arcade: $6 each
2x Madden 09: $3 each
Dead Island (Disc only in GameStop case): $3
Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas 2: $3
Dead Rising 2: $6
Skylanders Swap Force (Not For Sale Version): $4
Skylanders Giants (Not For Sale Version): $4
Call of Duty 4 Modern Warefare: $3
Battlefield 3: $3
Assassin's Creed Revelations: $3
Beautiful Katamari: $17
Power Gig: Rise of the SixString: $2
Xbox 360 Wheel and Pedals Untested - $25 local pickup in MA/RI or $25 plus shipping

PS2 Games (not loose) and Items:

Soul Calibur II: $8
Sonic Unleashed: $10
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4: $6
Kingdom Hearts: $6
Medal of Honor Rising Sun and Medal of Honor Frontline: $10 shipped for both
Greg Hastings Paintball Tournament (Case and Game, no Manual): $3
Star Wars Battlefront II (Case and Game, no Manual): $7
Silent Scope 2: Dark Silhouette (Disc and Manual only): $3
Many more PS2 Games (mostly CIB)
5x PS2 Controllers Untested - $40 shipped for the lot
Sly Cooper PS2 Prima's Official Strategy Guide - $50 shipped

PS2 - Disk Only:

Playstation Magazine Issue 71 Disk: $8
Playstation Magazine Issue 71 Disk: $8
Playstation Magazine Issue 76 Disk: $4, all three Playstation Magazine disks for $20 shipped
Marvel Ultimate Alliance: $3
Sonic Riders - Zero Gravity: $12 shipped
Sega Superstars Tennis: $3
Horsez: $2
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - The Angel of Darkness: $3
Tomb Raider III: The Adventures of Lara Croft: $3
Conflict Desert Storm: $1
Ready to Rumble Boxing: $3
Celebrity Deathmatch: $4
Starsky and Hutch: $1
World Championships Cards: $1
NBA Street Vol 2: $17 shipped
NBA Lifestyle 2003: $1
NBA 2K2: $2
MLB 2K5: $1
MLB 07 The Show: $1
MLB 06 The Show: $1
Backyard Baseball: Play with the Pros as Kids!: $2
Triple Play Baseball: $2
MVP Baseball 2004: $2
SOCOM US Navy Seals: $1
Socom 3 US Navy Seals: $1
Superbike World Championship (SBK): $2
Summer Athletics: The Ultimate Challenge: $1
Stuntman Ignition: $1
Madden 06: $1
Madden 07: $1
Madden NFL 08: $2
Madden NFL 06: $1
Madden NFL 2005: $1
Madden NFL 07: $1
Madden 2004: $1
NFL Gameday 98: $2
Gretzky NHL 06: $2
NHL 2K6: $2
Ratatouille: $3
007: Everything or Nothing: $3
007 Nightfire: $8 shipped
007: Quantum of Solace: $3
Gran Turismo 3: $1
Motocross Mania: $1
Greg Hastings Tournament Paintball Max’d: $2
Out of the Chute: $3
Nicktoons Unite!: $3
Burnout 2 Point of Impact: $3
Corvette Evolution GT: $1
MotoGP 3: $3
Battlefield 2 Modern Combat: $1
Bad Boys Miami Takedown: $1
Happy Feet: $2
Motor Storm Arctic Edge: $4
Backyard Football 09: $2
Dancing with the Stars: $1
Call of Duty: Finest Hour: $2
NCAA March Madness 2004: $1
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith: $4
Dormax 2: Dance Dance Revolution: $2
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2001: $1
G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra: $3

PS3 Games:

Lost Planet 2 (Disk Only, in GameStop case): $5
Call of Duty: MW3 (Disk Only): $3
Legendary: $7
2x Assassin's Creed III PS3: $3 each
Rage: $4
Infamous: $4
Beowulf the Game: $4
L.A. Noire: $10
Tom Clancy: Ghost Recon-Future Soldier: $3
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim: $13 shipped
2x Assassin's Creed: $3 each
South Park: The Stick of Truth: $9 shipped
Medal of Honor Limited Edition: $3
Pro Evolution Soccer 2013: $13
Killzone 2: $3
Call of Duty 4 Modern Warefare: $3
Batman Arkham Asylum: $4
Darksiders: $10 shipped
Uncharted 3: $3
Two Worlds II: $4
Call of Duty Modern Warefare 2: $9
Brothers In Arms: Hell's Highway: $6

PS4 Games:

Pictures (GTA Sold)
Star Wars Battlefront Deluxe Edition: $9 (Includes Magmatrooper Galactic Connexion)
Battlefield Hardline BNIB (Sealed): $18 shipped
PlaystationVR Demo Disk 3: $5

GB/GBA Games/Items:

Kim Possible 3 - Team Possible (GBA): $3
Dogz 2 (GBA): $2
Disney Royal Adventure (GBA): $3
Bratz (GBA): $2
W.i.t.c.h. (GBA): $5 (hard to find prices on this, shell has a piece broken off but the game still works)
Tom and Jerry: The Magic Ring (GBA): $3
Tony Hawk's Underground 2 (GBA): $4
Rayman Raving Rabbids (GBA, Manual Only): $2

Loose DS/3DS Games:

Lego Star Wars III (3DS): $5
Pokemon Sun (3DS): $14
Yokai Watch (3DS): $6
Power Rangers Mega Force (3DS): $8
LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean (3DS): $4
LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes (DS): $3
LEGO Star Wars: Complete Saga (DS): $6
Zhu Zhu Pets (DS) and Zhu Zhu Puppies (DS): $3.50 for both
2x Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (DS): $3 each
Harry Potter Years 1-4 (DS): $4
Mario Party DS (DS): $12 shipped
Spider Man: Web of Shadows (DS): $10 shipped
2x Mario Vs Donkey Kong Mini Land Mayhem (DS): $10 shipped each
Crafting Mama (DS): $8 shipped
Let’s Play Garden (DS): $2
Cooking Mama (DS): $12 shipped
2x Moshi Monsters: Moshling Zoo and Moshi Monsters Theme Park (DS): $2 for each lot of two
Namco Museum (DS): $7 shipped
Drama Queen (DS): $2
Satisfashion: Rock the Runway (DS): $1
Lovely Lisa and Friends (DS): $2
iCarly (DS): $1
Style Lab: Jewelry Design (DS): $1
Petz Fashion Dogz & Cats (DS): $1
Barbie Horse Adventure (DS): $5 shipped
Phineas and Ferb (DS): $2
Carnival Games (DS): $3
Power Rangers Samurai (DS): $7 shipped
TMNT (DS): $5
Monster Jam: Path of Destruction (DS): $2
Wreck It Ralph (DS): $3
DaGeDar (DS): $3
Cars 2 (DS): $3
Madagascar Kartz (DS): $3
Nickolodeon Team Umizoomi (DS): $10
Scooby Doo and the Spooky Swamp (DS): $11
Mario Kart (DS): $10
Guitar Hero: On Tour (DS): $3
Wiffle Ball (DS): $1
Crash of the Titans (DS): $10
Legendary Starfy (DS): $10
2x Up (DS): $2 each
FIFA 08 (DS): $3
Showtime Championship Boxing (DS): $3
Asphalt 2 (DS): $4
2x Carnival Games (DS): $2 each
Goosebumps Horrorland (DS): $8
Tony Hawk’s Motion (DS): $3
Harlem Globetrotters World Tour (DS): $3
Cooking Mama 3: Shop and Chop (DS): $10
Pokémon Diamond (DS): $45 shipped
Little plastic DS cartridge cases (3x for now but I think have more somewhere): $0.50 each

CIB 3DS/DS Games and Others (CIB unless stated otherwise):

Pictures (Some pictured have sold, but anything still listed with prices here is still available)
Dogs and Cats: Best Friends (DS): $3
Zhu Zhu Puppies: $3
Jewelry Design (DS): $2
Up (DS): $4
Wipeout The Game (DS): $3
Tony Hawk's Proving Ground (DS): $8
World Championship Games: A Track and Field Event (DS): $5
Cars 2 (3DS): $11 shipped
New Super Mario Bros 2 (3DS) (No Manual): $20 shipped
Angry Bird Star Wars (3DS) (No Manual): $4
LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens (3DS): $5

Gamecube Games: (All CIB unless otherwise stated)

Pictures
Backyard Football (Disk only, in GameStop case): $3
Madden NFL 05: $2
Madden NFL 07: $3
All Stars Baseball 2002: $4
Peter Jackson's King Kong: The Official Game of the Movie (No Manual): $4
NHL 2005: $3
MVP Baseball 2005 (Disc Only): $4

Wii Games and Items: (All Games CIB unless otherwise stated)

Wii Fit Balance Board: $15 local pickup in MA or $15 plus shipping (can bundle with Wii Fit for another $3 or Wii Fit Plus for another $5)
Wii Fit Balance Board in Box: $18 or $18 plus shipping (can bundle with Wii Fit for another $3 or Wii Fit Plus for another $5)
Wii UDraw Tablet (Untested because we no longer have games compatible with it): $5
Wii ZappeGun Accessary: $10
Wii MotionPlus Adapter Authentic - Brand New In Box, Sealed: $27
Just Dance: $7
Just Dance 2: $5
Just Dance 3 Best Buy Exclusive: $7
Just Dance 3 Target Exclusive: $7
Guitar Hero: World Tour: $8
Disney Infinity (No Manual): $4
Disney Sing It: $3
Cooking Mama: Cook Off: $6
Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games: Beijing 2008 (Disk only): $8
Wii Fit: $5
Wall-E: $4
Despicable ME - The Game: $4
We Ski: $4
Wipeout The Game: $3
Winter Sports - The Ultimate Challenge: $6
Angry Birds Trilogy: $12
Deca Sports: $6
SimCity Creator: $4
Gummy Bears: Magical Medallion: $4
Cars (Disk Only, in GameStop Case): $10 shipped
Monster Trucks Mayhem: $4
Dragon Flame: Wrath of Fire: $3
Wii Sports (Disk Only): $20 shipped
Wii Play: $6
Wipeout The Game: $5
The Price is Right: $7
Country Dance: $15
Cardio Workout: $5
Carnival Games: Mini-Golf: $15
Go Diego Go Safari Rescue (CIB) and Go Diego Go Great Dinosaur Rescue (Disk Only): (*Both discs do not work!! Need resurfacing) $2 plus shipping for both (the case and manual of Safari Rescue with the not-working Safari Rescue and Dinosaur discs)

Wii U

Shantae: 1/2 Genie Hero Risky Beats Edition (with box and soundtrack): $40

PC:

Family 6 Pac Volume 1: $10 shipped
Driver: You Are The Wheelman: $9 shipped
I Spy Fantasy: $6
Centipede: $4
Sins of a Solar Empire: Game of the Year Edition: $10
Company of Heroes: $5
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 06: $6

VR:

View Master Virtual Reality: Space Experience Pack: $5

Other Items:

Legends Of Wrestemania Official Strategy Guide - Xbox 360, PS3: $13 shipped
Attitude Official Strategy Guide For PS1 And N64: $9 shipped
Mystery Quest: Curse of the Ancient Sprits (DS, Case and Manual only): $2
Large DS Carry/Travel Case (Dark Blue): $8 plus shipping
Hard "Shell" DS Carry/Travel Case with black headphones, unused screen protector, and cloth to clean screen (Black): $13 plus shipping
Mini NES with 2 Controllers: $110 shipped
Gameboy Game Genie in box with manauls: $50 shipped
White Wii with original Gray Stand.(no wires or controllers): $70 shipped with choice of any game listed above for $5 or less
Black Ops II Care Package Chest Only - $30 local pickup in MA or $30 plus shipping
World of Warcraft: Cataclysm - Free with purchase of anything else or free + shipping, not sure how or if it works, I got it for free at a yard sale a year or so ago and don’t know if it’s been used or anything already (assume that it has been) nor do I know anything about it
Misc Wires - none have been tested since I’m not entirely sure what most of them are for, free with purchase of anything else

Please note: PS2 games have not yet been tested but will be very soon (I was just able to get a PS2, just need to fix the laser so it reads discs properly). I no longer have a computer that can read discs so I cannot test the PC games, and I cannot test the VR game because I don't have a phone that works with it, but if you purchase an untested game and it doesn't work you'll receive a refund for the item.
As far as sealed Pokémon TCG product goes, I’m open to anything since my sealed collection’s pretty small rn, but mainly things 2016 or newer. Also potentially interested in Cosmic Eclipse Tag Team Promos.

[Table] r/Music — HEY! This is Portugal The Man and “Weird Al” Yankovic – we make music – Ask Us Anything

Source
The AMA ended with the message:

Okay, gotta go. Thanks, everybody, this was fun! And thanks PTM! /Al

Questions	Answers
hello PTM! i dont even know where to start. I knew yall exist from the 2017 hit from Woodstock "Feel it Still", but i actually didn't know how great of a band yall truly are... You see, earlier this year around April/May I began to make myself monthly playlists with many new songs that i hadn't had heard. Out of sheer luck, I struck gold mine and found Purple Yellow Red and Blue. I heard the melody and i was absolutely mesmerized. Then you had me hooked. I explored through all your albums. This year i have listened to you more than anyone else, and I'm sure I will continue to enjoy listening to you again and again. My favorite songs from you are countless, but to say some : I absolutely love Atomic Man - what a great bridge and outro... perhaps my all-time favorite song from you (so many i cant even pick one) Purple yellow red and blue - one of the best melodies ive ever heard in my life... once listening to this, i can't stop singing along the chorus (same with atomic man; i love this one a lot) Waves - the one line right before the chorus " No One Cares About The Waves At the Bottom of the Ocean ". WOW. how can someone even come up with such a line... insane Evil Friends : what an intro! peaceful and slow, and that specific keyboard sound; perfect setup to set the theme for that song, also I love how it connects with the lyrics from the bridge of the Creep In A T-shirt! Holy Roller: "Another day feeling crazy, I try my best to keep my feet on the ground. I'm always all-around" are you kidding me? FABULOUS line. Noise Pollution : groovy chorus! love it. Live in the moment : absolute masterpiece - also what a legendary unique drum work! it's just awesome. INSANE. a close contender for the most favorite song from you, but Atomic Man is just amazing man. the intro, the verse, the chorus, the bridge and the outro. NOTHING BEATS ATOMIC MAN. Number One : perfect song for rainy days. the outro is a bit weird fo ngl Rich Friends : summer vibes. lovely. My Mind: nice stuff Shade : undoubtedly an amazing chorus - also another example of great drum work. People Say : yes sir! IT WILL BE ALL RIGHT. we just gotta make it through the night. Guns and Dogs : great song as a whole; especially when you slow down when you're reading the first few lines of the either verses. and ofc another great bridge. Plastic Soldiers : " COULD IT BE WE GOT LOST IN THE SUMMER!!!!" _________________________________________ I love all your works and I'm so happy that i have found you. definitely inspiring me as i also make little verses here and there. and besides that; it's just good times whenever I'm peeping your songs. Big ups! Keep up the good work. cant wait for more albums and more sogns. Please never stop blessing us with your unmatched talents. Also a suggestion; please please please! upload an acoustic version of your songs on Spotify! At least do one for the songs from Evil Friends! I can't stop watching the YouTube videos where yall are covering songs from Evil Friends :) love; ali	Wow thank you so much!!!! Hopefully we get back out there soon. We miss shows. /ptm
^{the below is a reply to the above}
any words on releasing acoustic versions on Spotify?! at least one for "Atomic Man" :( ? Also where can i buy some of your merch!!! (i.e. hoodies)	Online! I’m sure we have acoustic versions of AM on YouTube, but I’ll check out Spotify for sure. /PTM
In the song "The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota", where did the family live? Where was their point of origin? They "drove for three whole days and nights" (stopping for pickled wieners now and then). If we assume a bit of hyperbole here, and perhaps they drove ~600 miles a day, that forms a certain radius around Minnesota of around 1800 miles. That's farther away than the corners of the country (San Diego, Seattle, Miami, Bangor). Of course, I'm assuming they drove in a somewhat linear fashion... it's possible they made a circuitous route (perhaps to visit the Shuffleboard Hall of Fame again?) Anyways, they crossed the state line around 6:39pm, and saw a sign that said Twine Ball in 50 miles. Then, of course, at 7:27pm the ball appeared on the horizon of the Minnesota sky. So the twine ball is somewhere within 50 miles of the border. That helps. It means they didn't cross the whole state of Minnesota on their 3 day journey. Can you shed some light on this? Thanks!	They live in Springfield, like the Simpsons. /Al
First, I'd to say thanks to both of you for holding this. Now, my question: Mainly relating to Who's Gonna Stop Me: PTM, why work with Al for such a serious song when he's known for much more lighthearted content? Al, why work with PTM on such a serious song when you're known for much more lighthearted content? I'm interested to see how both sides of this line up. Also, I'd like to take this moment to say "Happy (early) Birthday" to the world's chronologically second polka-loving, accordion-playing Mr. Yankovic! Lastly, as a mod, I'd be remiss if I didn't toss in a reference to WeirdAl, we're big fans of you over there, Al, and while you certainly don't have to, it would be awesome to see you popping in when you have some free time. I'll also toss in portugaltheman for balance but I know u/Rallier already knows about it.	There doesn’t need to be such hard lines between humor and heavy topics. Humor heals and connects people. Al is the best at that. /ptm
	Awww, you guys!! /Al
Al, I know your 1992 album Off the Deep End was delayed for a bit while you waited for a lead parody, but do you recall if you had any concern at the time that the parodies of acts like Milli Vanilli, New Kids On the Block, and MC Hammer were already stale by the time it came out, and is that why you followed up so quickly with Alapalooza?	When I was making albums, that was always an issue - I'd record a few parodies early on, and then by the time the album finally came out, those songs might be a couple years old (a pop culture eternity!). It was always a challenge to release an album without it sounding instantly dated. That's a big reason why I've chosen to forego albums, and now enjoy the freedom of just putting out anything I want, whenever I want... like THIS single! /Al
Hey, Al! You called me when I was in the hospital back when I was 12, sent me a care package, and invited me backstage at a concert that summer. Really saved me, and almost made having three brain tumors worthwhile. Thank you so much! Anyways, was the Larry in I Remember Larry based on anyone in particular?	Thank YOU - hope you're feeling better!
	And the Larry in "I Remember Larry" is Larry Fine from the Three Stooges. (No it isn't - I just thought for a second I should mess around with the Wikipedia entry. There was no Larry in mind.) /Al
Weird Al - You've been parodying pop music for nearly 40 years. Are there good pop songs that aren't good parody songs? If so, what is the main difference for you?	I don't think any song is beyond parody or can't be parodied, but there are a lot of songs (I'd say about 98% of them) that I'm just not able to come up with a clever enough idea for, and if at all possible I try not to force an idea if it's not working. /Al
Thanks for doing an AMA! @Mr. Weird Al- Has music gotten harder or easier to parody since everything seems to be a joke nowadays? @Portugal the Man I don't really know you guys but my friend Sam loves you, so keep it up!	Pop culture has always inherently been pretty ridiculous, so I don't think that's changed too much. The 3 main reasons why I haven't been more prolific in the last few years are 1) I've been putting my energy into a few non-music-related projects, 2) I'm lazy, and 3) I'm too lazy to come up with the third reason. /Al
	Thanks bud! /PTM
Question for Al: is it true that your next tour will be a world tour and will you be doing a show in Ireland? Question for Portugal, The Man: what was it like working with Al?	We were originally planning to tour early next year - now we're tentatively planning on LATE next year - but absolutely nothing is confirmed because, well... you know. And the plan and hope is that it will ABSOLUTELY be a world tour - if we're actually allowed to leave the country by that point. /Al
	He is the most fun and most talented person out there. He’s exactly what you would hope. /PTM
Something I've always wondered about artists - do you have all your songs memorized, even after years? Like, Al, could you recite all the verses to something like "Addicted to Spuds", or "The White Stuff"? I imagine you're super out of practice with them, but maybe the amount of time you spend meticulously writing them means they'll stick in your head forever.	Sometimes I forget the words to a song I've performed thousands of times. That's the only downside of performing live for me - I'm always afraid my brain is just going to shut down. Need more neurons!! /Al
	I think I know all the words to those still /ptm
Portugal, Evil Friends is likely my favorite album of yours. I love following the different themes in your albums and I am curious as to what inspired this sort of sacrilegious/dancing with the devil theme inherent in Evil Friends? Also, how was working with Danger Mouse?	It’s just a representative of the outsider. The outcast. Also a shoutout to unbelievable talented black musicians like Robert Johnson. People didn’t believe a person of color could be that good at guitar so he must have made a deal with the devil. Stand in solidarity. 🤘/PTM
First off thanks for doing a AMA, Weird Al you have had lots of great songs and their always funny. Why did you choose to make a serious song "Who’s Gonna Stop Me" with Portugal. The Man. How was making a serious song different than your normal song making process.	The process is exactly the same - literally the only difference is that the words aren't funny. And I wasn't actively looking to do a "serious" song, but PTM approached me about this - I love those guys and I loved the track, so I agreed to be involved immediately. /Al
Now that you’ve (finally) had a huge hit with “Feel it Still”, do you feel pressure (from the label, society, yourself) to “live up” to it and have another hit radio single? Personally, I’d be happy with another Evil Friends or ITMITC.	That’s why we did Who’s Gonna Stop Me with Weird Al, Jeff Bhasker, Paul Williams and Dodgr. Solid follow up. /PTM
How did you guys come up with the band name Portugal. The Man. (As opposed to Portugal. The Country.?)	We wanted to create a fictional character to represent all the people in the band. A country is one name for a group people so our guys name is Portugal. We wanted to separate it from the country because we aren’t from there. It was on the other side of the world and that’s where we wanted to go. See and listen and learn. /ptm
Al, favorite Portugal. The Man song? Portugal, favorite Al song?	I'm going to go with "Who's Gonna Stop Me" because it has more "Weird Al" Yankovic vocals than virtually any other PTM song. /Al
	I agree. /ptm
	I’m going to throw in Mellow When I’m Dead because my daughter has been dancing to it every morning. Punk Al! /ptm
How tough has it been for you as musicians during the Covid-19 Pandemic? And what's the highlight of it?	Because of COVID, I've been recording from home. Now, I don't have a full-on studio at home - it's just a laptop, a microphone, and a digital interface device. But that's how I recorded my vocals for "Who's Gonna Stop Me" as well as my vocals for the Gregory Brothers' presidential debate video. PTM's audio engineer was able to clean it up and make it sound better than I would have imagined. /Al
	We miss touring and shows, but it’s nice to actually spend time at home with our families. More than we’ve got since we were kids. /PTM
Portugal. The Man- Y’all are my absolute favorite band ever. I moved to Alaska from Florida in July and am absolutely in love with this State. What is something unique to Alaska that you wish more people knew? How can people local to Alaska be a part of the Portugal. The Man Foundation?	Big move!!! Learn and support Indigenous culture! Say hello to our home! We miss it. /ptm
Hey Al. How did you find finally not having a record deal after so many years of having one? Also any reason why the last two tours never came to Australia?	It's great not feeling like I OWE anybody anything. And it's also nice not having to get anybody's written permission if I want to do an outside project. Having said that, my record label was very good to me, and I appreciate all the support over the years.
	And there's no good reason why our last two tours didn't make it to Australia. We tried, but the logistics just didn't work out. Hopefully we'll see you on the next one! /Al
How did you guys meet each other? Portugal. The Man and Weird Al is the combo we never knew we needed	We met in 2013 when we were rehearsing for a live webcast called BLAM - it was to announce all the acts that were going to be playing at Bonnaroo that year, and it was wrapped in an hour-long "comedy" show. From what I remember, the show itself was a bit of a train wreck - my personal highlights were definitely the songs that PTM and I played together. I played accordion on "So American" and they backed me up on "Canadian Idiot." It's all online somewhere if you want to search for it. /Al
	Bonnarroo announcement back in 13’. /PTM
Any likelihood an acoustic version of Evil Friends will ever come out? Personally Majestic Majesty has been my favorite album of y'all's to go back to Also @weirdAl, you defined my childhood and made me interested in music that takes its lyrics seriously	Not a bad idea... /ptm
Hey, Al and PTM, I have a question for Mr. Yankovic. What instruments do you know and how long have you been playing them? I'm a huge fan of your stuff.	Thanks! The accordion is the only instrument I play fairly well. I play a TON of instruments extremely poorly (and you can too!) /Al
^{the below is a reply to the above}
Didn't you actually play the keyboard in your songs pre-1990 though?	Yes, and I still play the keyboard, but I'm really only good with my right hand (my left hand is used to playing buttons!) /Al
^{the following is another answer to the original question}	We all kinda play a bit of everything. Jack (and Jill) OG all trades, master of nine. /PTM
hi guys!! yall's new song is really really good!!!im terrible with questions, so i guess this one goes to al - did you decide to collab with portugal. the man by your own terms or did they reach out to you and want to do so? either way is super cool!(btw big fan since i was little thank you for being really cool!!!!!!) edit: OH one more thing: al, i've heard you like oingo boingo - do you have a favorite album by them? or a favorite song?	PTM and I have been friends for years - they approached me, and I jumped at the chance to work with them again. And I love all Oingo Boingo, but I think my favorite might be their original debut EP. /Al
Hi Al! I met you at the art gallery in LA in December, cried after meeting you and cried through the first 10 minutes of your concert at Greek Theater last year. And I'll probably cry again many times thinking about it. Heck, i'm tearing up right now! For PTM and Al - Is there a band/singeceleb that makes you happy that you would cry? Or if you met them you would cry from happiness?	Al. /PTM.
Al, thank you for being the soundtrack to my 12 year-old's life. The Stitcher recordings of "The Ridiculously Self-Indulgent, Ill-Advised Vanity Tour" were our accompaniment on the drive to school for his entire fifth grade. It is always exciting to hear how you tailor your shows to the audience. Last year, we saw you at the Ascend Amphitheater on the "Strings Attached" tour, and when you came through the audience, my son went nuts. It was all he could talk about for the rest of the year... "I WAS WITHIN FIVE FEET OF WEIRD AL!" Here's hoping we have a vaccine soon so that you can come back to Nashville! And thanks for introducing us to PTM!	That's so great to hear. Thanks so much - hope to see you in person again sometime soon! /Al
Mr weird al yankovic can we ever except to see a full non comedy album sometime in the future?	Absolutely!! But not from me, of course. /Al
This one goes for both of you! FAVORITE MOVIE??? Love you guys <3	Top Secret! (That's the name of the movie, I'm not saying that I won't tell you.) /Al
	2001 /ptm
Does the magical floating orb still exist?	I see it every time I close my eyes. /Al
Hey guys! I really loved the new song! Can we expect more collaboration between you guys in the future? I would love to hear more serious stuff from you, Al, it’s lovely!	I certainly hope so! /ptm
Hey guys! You've been my favorite band since Censored Colors was released and I'm so happy for all the success you have found over the last few years. My favorite song of yours is Mornings, it cuts my soul DEEP. Was wondering if you would wanna talk a bit about the lyrics and what the song means to you. Love you guys!	Thanks a bunch! That album has some of my favorite lyrics for sure. A lot of growing up in Alaska and reincarnation. Life and death and everything in between /ptm
I bet you know some really awesome vegetarian recipes. What are one or two of your favs? I want to add more vegetarian food into my life. Don't need the full recipe, just a good idea of what to look for! :)	I've got this one for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You spread peanut butter on one slice of bread, and jelly on the other, and then you stick them together - yummy!! /Al
Would you like to take a survey? Do you eat beans? Would you like to see a new movie starring George Wendt? Do you eat beans with George Wendt? Would you like to see George Wendt eating beans in a movie? Do you eat beans at George Wendt movies? Would you like to see George Wendt in a bean eating movie? How many beans do you eat at George Wendt bean eating movies? How many bean eating movies have you seen with George Wendt? If you were a bean what kind of bean would you be?	The magical fruit. /ptm
Al, did you enjoy working on non-comedic music with Portugal the Man? Have you thought about doing that kind of thing more in the future?	I had an absolute blast doing this with PTM and would work with them again anytime. And this is not signaling any kind of new direction for me - I have no intention of ever "going serious" - but I also like the freedom of leaving myself open to whatever opportunities come my way. /Al
You've brought great joy to so many people, and that my friend is a life well lived. Thank you for sharing yourself with us over all these years! Question: Do you have any "serious" songs that you have written but are keeping to yourself? If so, would you ever get the point of releasing any of them?	Every time I've tried to write "serious" lyrics, it feels like I'm going against my DNA. That's just not how my brain is wired. There are plenty other people that can write sincere, heartfelt, non-ironic lyrics - and I'm happy to leave that to them. /Al
Hey Al and PTM! Last week during the Save the Stages show that PTM graced us with, there was a message projected behind the band talking about how the crowd reminded you of your 2007 tour, joking about how little of a crowd you had at those shows. I was at one of those, at Jack Rabbits in Jacksonville, FL, and sure enough there was only like a dozen people there. But it was a fantastic, intimate show that me and my friends will never forget. We even got to hang with you guys at the bar before and after, and created some wonderful memories. How did the low turnout on that tour have an effect on where your music took you creatively? And for Al, what are some memories you have of small crowds when you were starting out? And did it have an effect on you creatively? Neither of you let it seem to discourage you, and the world is a better place with your music in it! So thank you for the wonderful memories and music!	Someone stole my passport off stage that night! Ha. /ptm
Stoked on the new song. Any timeline for an album any time soon?	I'm not really doing albums any more - I just put out tracks whenever the mood strikes. But I've got a couple exciting projects in development - nothing I can talk about yet, though - sorry! /Al
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Hi Al! I have two questions for you: 1.) What's the biggest change (or changes) in the music industry you've witnessed over the span of your career?	There are definitely more mp3s sold now than there were in 1979.
2.) Any plans to release Medium Rarities on Spotify and other streaming services?	That's totally up to the record label - I have zero control over that. /Al
I don't really have a question and I'm kinda late anyway so I don't expect a response, but I've been a big fan of PTM for 10+ years now. Easily the most consistently good band I've listened to in my life, your albums just don't miss the mark ever. And on a more personal note, John's "we don't need it" story about hunting with his Dad when he was younger had a pretty big impact on how I feel about interacting with each other and our environment, so a big thanks for sharing something special like that in a time where I didn't have that same figure to teach me first hand.	I love that story too. I always look to music and other stories when things are lacking in my life as well. Appreciate all the kind words bud. /ptm
PTM, my religious mother is worried that my favorite band said “hail Satan” at the Grammys, always wondered the uhh.. intention behind that? Like is it a just for kicks kinda thing, metal kinda thing, do you guys actually worship Satan? Thanks	Na we worship no one. It’s a shout-out to Robert Johnson. Also we love metal. /PTM.
Hey Al, are there ever going to be video remasters of your music videos? ~~i want to help with them~~	Nothing planned. I kinda doubt they're ever going to look much better than they already do, sorry. /Al
Hey, thanks for doing this AMA! What's for dinner today?	La la la la lasagna. /PTM
	Beans. /Al
What are the most normal facts about you?	I weight more than 35 pounds and my blood is liquid. /Al
The album “It’s Complicated Being A Wizard” was astounding work. Where did that energy or inspiration come from?	That was all John. He usually does some solo after thoughts right when we’re done with an album. Also to annoy our dear friend and producer Casey Bates. Making a 23 minute long song for him to edit. I love that one too. /PTM
a question for Al: any interest in uploading audio of older concerts (exclusive parodies aside) as an official release so we wouldn't resort to finding fans' YouTube channels like some HOOLIGAN*? If not... what has been your stance on fans uploading older tours? for P.tM: favorite Weird Al concert memories?	Probably him jamming with us on stage in 13’. /ptm
Portugal. The Man: Modern Jesus and Sleep Forever seems to me to carry an agnostic message, which resonated with me and drew me further into your work. Just wanted to hear your intented message or interpretation. Also, your music gets me through the grind, thank you.	Both of those songs are about finding strength in yourself, friends and family. Which kinda makes sense from how you took it. 🤘/PTM
If you told teenager me anatomy of a ghost would break up, form a new band, and make a song with weird al....well I’m not sure I would’ve believed it. Nice work all around👍	I know right? Believe me, if you told me then what I know now, I wouldn’t believe it either. /ptm
Question for both P. TM and Al - how do you get in the creative mindset for making music?	I like to fish. /ptm
	Same. /Al
How dope was that tour with Minus the Bear in 2008? Would you tour with Al dressed as a bear, playing the accordion?	That tour was a blast!!! And yes absolutely. /ptm
Hey PTM and AL!! Loving the new single! This question is for PTM - after years of developing your sound and really going from underground darlings to mainstream rockstars, what would you say has been the hardest part of keeping continuity or a solid vision with your sound as you continue to grow? And how do you appeal to older listeners to continue this musical journey?	The solid vision of our sound is constantly changing. That’s the whole point. Evolution. /PTM
Hi PTM! Would you ever consider streaming a live set and mixing in some of your older stuff? I’ve gone to a bunch of your shows but the setlists are usually In The Mountain In the Clouds and beyond	Just did a bit! Planning on more for sure. We have a lot of songs! /PTM
Question for PTM. Loved the skit you did with the cast of it's always sunny. How did that come about?	We’re big fans of the show and have some buddies on the crew. They are all so funny and great. /ptm
Hey Portugal! Not sure if you’ll see this, but I just wanted to say thank you. During Hangout fest in May of 2016 you came onto our event bus and gave everyone on the bus free VIP tickets. It’s a memory my friends and I will always cherish. That was at the end of my sophomore year of college and is still one of my all time favorite memories. Hope to catch a show of yours sometime in the future.	Oh yeah!!! That was fun and a little awkward. Ha. Dude I miss Hangout. That place is a blast. /PTM.
To any: What's a little known fact about you?	I can juggle. /PTM
This one is for Portugal The Man. I want to know which pedals or effects were used on the bass at the beginning of "Feel it still". How do I achieve that bass sound that makes it sound like drops of water?	Reverb!!! I use the Surf Rider. Killer 60’s sound. /PTM
Not gonna lie. Your new music isn’t exactly up my alley but waiter: You vultures! will always be one of my favorite albums. I also remember seeing you guys with Minus the Bear and the big sleep in Grand Rapids Michigan back in my early college years first time seeing all three live and still one of the best shows I’ve ever been too.	Oh god that was my birthday night. Terrible things happened that night. Ha. /ptm
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Sound like a successful night then. Do you still have the red beanie with the big puff?	Ha. Yeah that was johns. Totally still have it.
Hey, you might not see this, but I'm really a big fan of your stuff, Weird Al. I've been listening to you for 4 years, and your stufd Is incredible. I almost saw you on the tour you did in 2018 (forgot the name of it), but I couldn't go due to a field trip that was scheduled the same day as the concert. :( Portugal The Man, your stuff is incredible as well! I enjoy the song you did with Weird Al. Anyways, the only question I have (for Al) is why haven't they inducted you in the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame yet? I think you deserve to be in there.	I agree. /PTM
AL: If you HAD to parody a PTM song, which would you choose, and what might the chorus be? PTM: If Al HAD to parody one of your songs, which would you choose, and what would you hope it's about? Dave & Ethan	Hey dudes!!! I’d leave that to him. But yeah I have some ideas. ☺️/PTM
Question for PTM - What are your top 5 tracks off of Weird Al’s album “Even Worse”?	This song is just six words long Fat Think I’m a clone now Good old days Lasagna
I miss your old albums with more experimental style.	A lot of people think we were more experimental. Honestly, we just didn’t know what we were doing or how to write a song. We would change keys and change time signatures cause we didn’t know how to write transitions. I love prog. But I’ve learned there’s a line between art and lazy. However.. I still believe that you should never follow rules that aren’t your own or someone’s that you respect a great deal. I love our old albums, but also look at them like shit we used to draw when we were kids. The feeling is right. And the feeling is all that matters. 🤘/ptm
whats your favorite color?	Oh gosh - probably either periwinkle or vermilion. DEFINITELY not chartreuse!!! /Al
Boxers or briefs?	Depends. (Mel Brooks joke FTW!) /Al
Portugal The Man - huge fan! What was the inspiration for Easy Tiger? It's so visceral and raw and I feel like it HAS to be sourced from someone or something.	At that time we were kinda writing to our 17 year old selves. Asking what we would have liked to hear and what we should hear. If that makes an sense. /ptm
What song on your playlist(s) would surprise people the most if it came up on shuffle?	Most of my songs would surprise people. /ptm
For PTM how do you feel about people being surprised to find out the lead singer is a man's voice For weird al who was your favorite celebrity you collaborated with for your parodies. For example key and peele in white and nerdy.	I’ve always loved female vocals and androgynous music. Always take it as a compliment /ptm
Hi, guys! What are you doing to stay sane with all the political nonsense and concert/party/gathering restrictions?	Fly fishing. /ptm
Weird AL, what's your favorite sit com and why is it 30 rock? I enjoyed your cameo in thst show haha, what was it like behind the scenes?	God we love that show. /ptm
This is for both of you. What do you want your legacy to be?	Inspire others to pick up an instrument or just use their voice. /ptm
This question is for everyone: do you have any advice for those who may be lost in life at the moment?	Now is certainly a crazy time. We are all a bit lost at the moment. I feel ya. /PTM.
Much love to the boys and Weird Al from New Orleans! I've seen you both play live there. My question is for both the band and Al: What is your favorite part about this city?	The food alone is worth the trip. /PTM
Al, My Wife and I are big fans of yours. My wife is generally not a music person (Crazy right?) but if I put on one of your songs she ALWAYS sings along. And that always leads to more laughing. My Question: What was you favorite song to work on? Portugal The man, How does it feel to know that something you made is being watched by millions of people? Great song both of you!	This has been wild! So cool. /ptm
Hey Al, was there ever a song you wanted to parody but just couldn’t think of good lyrics for it? Or have you written parodies and then scrapped them for not being funny enough?	I'm pretty good with figuring out whether a humorous concept will work or not... which is why I'm incredibly picky about which songs I choose to do. But once I've committed to an idea, I've never given up on it. Every song I've ever written has been released - there's no vault full of crappy material. /Al
Hey PTM, did you fan-boy tf out when you first met Al? What was it like to meet a legend who’s been with us since we were kids?	I like to think we played it cool, but probably didn’t. ☺️/PTM
Hey Al and PTM, I've been a fan of both of yours for many years now and I'm thankful for the great music and bad times you've both got me through. Have you guys ever considered doing a full covers album like Weezer did? I know Al did a load of covers on one of his recent tours, but I'd love to see more bands do studio versions of their own favourite songs.	Oh we cover songs constantly. Always rep where you come from and what inspires you. /PTM
Thank you for taking time for this Al! Several years ago you randomly appeared via video on WWE Raw to wish Hulk Hogan a happy birthday. Do you recall how you were approached for this, and was it just a one off or do you otherwise have an affinity for the world of Professional Wrestling?	Oh, that was just a personal arrangement I had with Hulk Hogan. I agreed to wish him Happy Birthday on camera, and he agreed not to beat the living crud out of me. /Al
Hey PTM! Big fan ever since ITMITC came out. Seen you guys prob a dozen times live or so since. I know that there’s been a huge increase in your guys main stream popularity over the last few albums. But is there any particular reason you guys rarely perform pre itmitc songs live anymore? Satanic satanist is full of bangers. Would give me left nut to catch mornings live sometime. Cheers dudes, stay silly.	We just did it!! We just have so many damn songs. /PTM.
Hey, I dont have a question I just want to say I've been a huge fan of both of yours. I saw Al once in 2000 and was going to see PTM but got too drunk before the show and got escorted out of the venue... Maybe next time. Thankyou for the joy and memories you all have given me and my friends.	Oh we’ve been there too buddy! Probably at one of our shows as well. ☺️/ptm
Al, because you captured my imagination -- and my deeply-buried craving to be a knucklehead show-off -- I've written parodies since the early 80's. Dude, you completely ruined me for writing serious songs. THANK YOU! I've worked at NASA for over 20 years since it was clear I'd never match your level of execution with the music gig. ;)	NASA!!! Awesome. /PTM.
I need to come up with two words to get tattooed on me. What should they be? Also for PTM, you guys rule! Oh and will you ever release any B sides or unreleased songs?	I’m sure we will eventually. We have hundreds. /PTM
@Al and @Portugal - If you had no obligations to anyone or anything - purely free will - how would you want to spend your life?	Outside. /ptm
Portugal the man’s album “Censored Colors” save me from killing my self in 2010, thanks so much guys! Not a question i just had to post	Dude! So glad you’re still here. That’s huge! That’s the best thing I’ve heard in a long time. Thank you. Really really appreciate that. /PTM
@Al and @Portugal - What are your top 5 favorite albums?	Dark Side of The Moon 36 Chambers Off The Deep End The White Album Give Me Convenience Or Give Me Death /ptm
Hey Al, how's your quarantine going? How have things changed for you in terms of day to day life and music production?	My life really hasn't changed all that much. I still wake up in the afternoon, eat a bowl of beans, do a Reddit AMA, and go right back to sleep. /Al
What’s your Waffle House order?	Smothered covered topped and peppered. /PTM
Walrus?	Little buddy didn’t make it. 😢 I cried a lot.
Hey PTM. How does it feel that Al's getting all the questions?	It feels like this is the way it should be. Ha. All good here. I would be asking him questions too. /ptm
Al, and PTM: would you rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks, or stick your nostrils together with crazy glue? Also, Al, huge fan. Your music meant a lot to me as a child, and now as an non-child.	Crazy glue. /ptm
Where can I send unsolicited demos of my music to become famous like everyone else	Send it everywhere. /PTM
@portugal luckiest fly?	My buddy makes a streamer called the Makiza maribou. Blue and black. /ptm
Al, I'm a lifelong fan, hooked since UHF. While you can't recapture the magic of that movie, have you thought about writing more films?	I wrote a screenplay last year. Will it ever see the light of day? Who knows! /Al
Who approached who to initiate this collaboration?	Oh we did it. 🤞/PTM
Hey PTM and Al. I've been to both of your shows and had a fantastic time at each one. Al, your set and costume changes were amazing. Also it was a pleasure to meet you after the show for a quick minute. My question for PTM is will you consider adding such epic wardrobe changes to your show?	Ha. That would be fun. John changes many times a day. I can’t do it. We’re not as good at the performance part of the show. We leave that to the greats. /ptm
Q for PTM - In a world where Al accepts parody ideas, what’s the parody you would pitch to him (Portugal The Man songs or otherwise) Q for Al - Last 3 vinyl records you bought?	I would let the master decide. /PTM.
Question is to both parties, appreciate both for doing this and thank you. Has drug use in your life been more of a deterrent to creativity or an invoker of it. In music it seems that often these substances can be entwined, what are your thoughts? Thank you again, awesome of y'all!	It can easily be both. Really depends on so many factors. I I enjoy those things, but it’s not a necessity for our creative process at all. /ptm
How did you guys come to meet each other? Plus, can we expect more new music from either of you any time soon? Big fan of both of you.	We met for the Bonnarroo announcement back in 13. We were so nervous.
PTM - What would be your dream song in Al's catalogue that you'd love to have been featured on? - Dave & Ethan	Yoda/ptm
P.TM, your music keeps my world rocking! Can we expect to see you in Europe anytime soon when the pandemic allows?	We miss y’all over there! Yes as soon as we can responsibly. /ptm
Hello from Alaska! Question for Al: I went to your show when you performed in Anchorage, Alaska (oh so many years ago). Assuming this pandemic thing gets squared away eventually is there any possibilities of you and PTM doing a combo show again up here? If you do can I get a front row seat? Just want to say that you all are awesome. Thanks.	Hello Alaska! /ptm
What’s your guilty pleasure?	I don’t really believe in guilty pleasures anymore. Like what you like! /PTM
Hi PTM. Saw you guys and experienced your music for the first time when you performed with Cage the Elephant and Twin Peaks at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas! One of my most memorable shows and you guys killed it. Thanks for the good time!	That tour was wild!!! Holy shit what a couple rad bands. Every night was one hell of a party. Miss all those boys. /ptm
Hi Al, I don't have a particular question to ask you.. so... what did you have for breakfast?	Beans. /Al
PTM, any specific artists that has influenced the sound of the awaiting new record? (Besides the great Alfred Yankovic of course)	The Beatles and Wu Tang.
Mr Al, As you are the Wicker of Yanks, has the queen given you any royal duties? PTM, do you feel inspired to make a cover album of songs you grew up with? Edit: also I can’t wait to have you back on Comedy bang bang.	Never thought about a whole album, but always throw them in the live set. /ptm
Both PTM and Al- Will you guys be working with each other again sometime? I would love to see more	I’d like to think so. /PTM
Do you still feel it?	New phone who dis?
What’s up with your obsession with Beavis and Butthead?	90’s kids. /ptm
Gentlemen, thanks for being here. I was going to say: “Who’s Gonna Stop Me” is a human feat of musical gorgeousness. Or maybe it's a musical feat of human gorgeousness. It thrills me and fills me with hope. It makes me feel floaty all over. I feel like it's the dream I've been trying to have. So, what do you think? Is it Love Boat or Musician Ship?	Love boat. And thank you. Love you boat loads. /ptm
What do you want for Christmas?	To hang with my Ma. 😇/PTM
Another question for PTM.. How was working with Danny brown? Anymore hip hop collabs planned for the future? Evil friends bumps	His shit is awesome. Yeah we have some stuff up our sleeve /ptm
If you were going backpacking right now, no restrictions, where would you go?	Alaska. /PTM
Just wanted to say you guys are awesome and I love how you answered most of the questions, keep up the great work and stay safe!	Doing what we can! You stay safe out there too! /ptm
Hey Al & PTM, What is your favorite Dinosaur?	Barney. /ptm
Just wanted to let you know you are my childhood Al. Keep on being amazing	Same. /PTM
Al, can I borrow five bucks? If not, PTM, can I borrow five bucks?	Sure /ptm
u/rallier when can we expect to see some vintage pieces for sale as posted on portugaltheman?	That’s the plan. /ptm

The Last of Us 2: A Storytelling Catastrophe -- An Essay

Note
This is part three of a three-part deconstructive analysis of The Last of Us: Part II. Find part one, about Ellie's misrepresentation, here; find part two, about how this game fails to utilize its mechanics to tell its story, here.
The Worst Story Ever Told
So much has been said about The Last of Us: Part II. There are so many holes to pick in its plot that it's like Jesse's skull. A number of very eloquent writers have already done this online. I don’t feel the need to join in.
HOWEVER…
A few things really bug me about the storytelling in this game, and some of them haven’t been dwelled on by others. Here, I would like to illustrate these things, and provide examples on why they’re so offensive. This is the longest, most rambling, and the least important part of the trilogy, but you asked for it, so here it is.
Abby
This is a quote from Neil Druckmann from an interview about Part II:
“You’re already connected to Ellie and Joel from The Last of Us, so we put them through a very tragic event, give you one look at a quest for revenge, and then shift to Abby in order to tell a mirror story of redemption that follows the person who — by killing Joel and avenging her father — has already accomplished what Ellie is trying to do, and is struggling to come to grips with it.”
So the cat’s out of the bag. We play as Abby for the whole second half of the game. Once the perspective swaps, we can be certain that this game is not, as I’ve explained in my other essays, part II Joel is dead and Ellie is MIA for hours and hours. If Abby’s half were meaningfully connected to the first game’s story, this would be different—it isn’t. This is a spinoff, not a sequel.
The core idea here is very strong: two forces, placed in opposition, and you play both sides simultaneously. It’s a great concept for a game. There’s a lot of potential there.
So how did Neil fuck it up?
Dumb people will be tempted to draw parallels between Abby’s story and Ellie’s story. This was clearly the intention of the writers, as cited above. These parallels are false. Abby and Ellie are seeking vengeance for different reasons: Ellie wants justice, Abby wants vengeance.
There is a BIG DIFFERENCE.
The core of the problem is that what Abby does to Joel is inexcusable, and it is not an equal or opposite reaction to what Joel has done to Abby or what Ellie intends to do to Abby when they meet up.
What does Joel do at the end of the first game? He kills Abby’s father. He does this to rescue Ellie, a fact which Abby is fully aware of. Is this wrong? Maybe. Is it subjectively justifiable? Yes. This is killing, effectively, in self-defense. Even if we don’t agree with it, we can’t say that, were it our loved one in Ellie’s place, we wouldn’t want to do the same. Joel doesn’t kill Abby’s father because he’s angry at what he’s about to do. He doesn’t do it out of anger. In fact, we can’t be certain he would have done it at all, had the surgeon not jumped out in front of him—an armed man—and tried to stop him with a fucking scalpel.
Contrast this to Abby. Abby spends years tracking Joel across the country. She does this not for justice, but for pure petty vengeance. She wants to get back at Joel for taking her father away. This is VERY DIFFERENT than killing someone because they’re between you and a loved one.
Moreover, she kills Joel despite the fact that apparently Joel is now a stand-up guy who rescues hapless travelers from hordes of zombies, and otherwise seems entirely reformed by the start of the game. He wasn't hurting anybody anymore. He's helping people now. He helps her, and she repays him by torturing him to death with a golf club.
Abby's revenge is understandable, but it is not, in any way, justifiable. Under no circumstances, coming out of the first game, can I ever possibly learn to care about her after that. It's just too much. She comes across in this scene as evil. Gleefully. Without a moment’s hesitation. In fact, the character in this scene has effectively nothing at all in common with the character we see at the end of the game; they behave like entirely different people.
Meanwhile, from Ellie's perspective, Abby is still on the loose. Here's a psychotic, jacked-as-shit assassin who goes around murdering people with her team of military maniacs. She's still at large. She's like a serial killer. She needs to die. She needs to be brought to justice. Later on, we learn more about the WLF, and we come to the realization that Abby is also a beneficiary of an absolutely horrible paramilitary organization that should be brought down, which just makes her death seem even more necessary.
(Did anyone else read the notes about the WLF during Ellie's Day 1? They're really, really bad. How come the WLF we see aren't doing any of that bad stuff? Did the writers just forget???)
This is why Neil’s contrast between these characters is false.
While we can all agree that vengeance is self-destructive, you can read Part II in such a way that the themes seem to be condemning the very notion of wanting justice at all. This isn’t how human brains work. Human brains need justice. And torturing an old man, who just saved your life, with a golf club? That is egregious. It demands justice. Above simply being petty, it feels like a stab in the back.
Human beings hate murderers, turncoats, and adulterers on instinct. Abby is all three!
This is emotional, not logical, but storytelling is emotional. You can’t expect us to consume the story like Vulcans. And yet, twelve hours later, guess who we’ll be playing?
First impressions are important. This is why the most influential book in screenwriting is called Save the Cat. It doesn't matter who your protagonist is; if you introduce them saving a cat, we'll like them. This is why Sarah dies at the start of the first game—she is the metaphorical cat that Joel tries, and fails, to save. Sarah’s death establishes empathy with a character who's going to go on to do very, very bad things down the line.
If we were introduced to Joel while he was torturing those two cannibals to death in Winter, nobody would have liked him. We weren’t. We saw him on the day his daughter died. This is very different. Abby doesn't save the cat. Abby murders the father figure. This is bad storytelling if the writers legitimately expect us to like this character later on.
There are so many ways in which they could have accomplished what Neil says they were trying to. There are so many small ways to change this one scene that would fix the entire game.
But the torture of a beloved character? That’s one of those things we can’t forgive. Abby is just bad. She is set up as an irredeemable monster, and my memory isn't short enough to forget that after we learn she has a dog. I wouldn't have liked her even if she had a whole litter!
Neil knew what he was doing in this first scene. He wanted us to feel this anger. I simply don’t understand why he thought we’d be okay with playing this character by the midpoint.
I feel like the big problem with the perspective swap in this game is that Naughty Dog wants us to see the world objectively. “You thought Abby was bad, but look! She’s a human being, just like you!” This rings false for so many reasons, some of which are elucidated in the second part of my review. Leaving game design to the side, can we learn to like Abby if we give her the benefit of the doubt?
Maybe.
WHY SHOULD WE?
Why should we, as players, take the time to learn about her life? Why should we learn to like her? The only answer is because that's what the writers want us to do.
I want you to take a minute right now and realize that every villain is a human being at the end of the day. Even Hitler had a family, just like Abby. Knowing about their troubled upbringing isn't enough to make us empathize, not when the introduction to this character was so profoundly negative.
Moreover, why should we take the time to become immersed within Abby's life? There is no excuse for what she did. It doesn't matter if she's a great person overall, just like it doesn't matter if Hitler loved his puppy or if Jeffrey Dahmer loved his mother. They're still evil.
I think the notion that we should understand the people we hate is a good one, but the reasons given to empathize with Abby in this game simply aren’t good enough. She SADISTICALLY tortures the man who just rescued her TO DEATH.
If she were filled with remorse, as Neil seems to for some reason think she is, maybe it would be different. If she had acted against her own will or better judgement, if she had made a mistake, maybe it would be different. This isn’t how the character is presented. She doesn’t lose any sleep over what she’s done. She mentions Joel to Manny once right at the beginning of her section, and not remorsefully, and then never, ever again. The reasons we’re given for liking her are entirely independent of what she’s actually done in the narrative.
Because Abby doesn't really want anything in this game, does she? Aside from Joel's death, which she gets. She wants...to survive? I mean big stuff, stuff that stretches through the whole game.
Ellie wants justice—good, simple, easy, I can relate (because I also want justice).
Abby wants…nothing. There’s nothing for her to want.
In fact, our whole first day adventuring with her is just filler. We go on a mission that gets sidetracked, then go back home. We go out to find Owen, and despite the fact that Owen seems to make it to his aquarium scot-free every day, we have to kill 125 people on our way there. What's the plot? What is there to root for? We spend the whole second day looking for supplies to save Yara, who dies in a cutscene anyway! Why didn't we just skip right to Day 3?
(The answer, of course, is to build the relationship with Lev. At this Day 2 is moderately effective, but the narrative design is sloppy at best. Things needed to be much more focused.)
This gets into a whole different problem with this game’s story, which is that Abby’s sections and Ellie’s sections have literally no causal relationship to each other. Hollywood cinema’s classical narrative is all about cause and effect. Luke finds R2D2; R2D2 causes Luke to find Obi-Wan; Obi-Wan causes Luke to become a Jedi, etc. Like many of you reading this, I had anticipated this to be what Abby’s sections did: Danny would be someone Ellie killed! You’d be reminded that your actions have consequences!
Nope. Most of our time with Abby is wandering around Seattle with no goal. We never once see Ellie until the end of the game. There is no causal connection whatsoever. The two stories could be happening on different planets for all they interact with each other.
I could've liked Abby if she'd had a strong driving force. Something to relate to. Something like revenge for the death of her father. But Abby gets her revenge before we play as her, basically, and she's left with nothing. We can't have rooting interest in a character if we have nothing to root for. Nothing to root for, no interest. This is basic storytelling stuff. You'll learn it in any creative writing or screenwriting class. Our introduction to her is so weak. We’re simply immersed into a whole new world—of fascist, evil, raiding Wolves, who are established as being very bad and say weird Hunger Games things like a creepy cult to each other—and expected to care.
I didn’t care.
I profoundly didn’t care.
If I wasn’t so invested in the first game, I would have stopped playing at this point. Swapping perspectives and leaving us on a cliffhanger grinds the entire game to a halt, ruins all momentum, and makes the remainder of Abby’s sections feel like a slog. Pushing forward was actively difficult for me. I simply didn’t care. Other writers have spoken on the pacing elsewhere, so I’m not going to dwell on it. I’m more interested in the stuff that’s less obvious here, but the travesty that is this game’s second act pacing is very hard to look past.
The Georgian Parable
I want to tell you a story. In the 19th century, there was a young man from Georgia—the country, not the state—named Joe Jugashvili. He had a very troubled upbringing. His family was miserably poor and all of his siblings died in infancy. His father was an alcoholic and he beat poor Joe and his mother mercilessly. Throughout his childhood he struggled with illness, injury, and homelessness, and it wasn’t until he found religion that he began to show his merit. He became a novice priest. The climate of the day in the Russian Empire was brutal, but he cast away the chains of his youth, and in the end became one of the most important people of the 20th century.
Most people don’t know him as Jugashvili, though. But I’ll bet you’re familiar with his pseudonym.

Stalin. Joseph Stalin.

Understanding Stalin’s upbringing is important. We should try to learn how he became the man he was. We might even be able to make him into a sympathetic character.
But the fact that Stalin had a harsh upbringing does not excuse what he would go on to do. Nobody would argue otherwise. We can understand that life sucks without forgiving him for his crimes against humanity. You could write a compelling film in which we root for a young and troubled Stalin, only for the twist of his true identity to be revealed at the end. It would probably be effective. But it would never excuse his actions, and I would hope that it would never convince anyone that his actions were somehow justified.
If you’ve ever seen Downfall, you might have experienced this for yourself. We come in at the very end of the Third Reich and so we never really see how bad the Nazis are. You almost feel sorry for Hitler. The film does a great job illustrating that even the worst monsters in all of human history were, still, human.
Note that Downfall would NOT work if the opening of the film was in Auschwitz. We would remember that Hitler was evil and never be able to come to care about his problems. In fact, his problems would seem well-deserved. It would be an entirely different movie.
Yet, in effect, this is what Naughty Dog is asking us to do. We’re being asked to empathize with Abby because “she’s a human being, too!”
So was Stalin.
So was Hitler.
So were Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer.
Do you think those inmates who killed Dahmer were wrong to do so just because he loved his mother? Maybe you think it was wrong because it's a violation of due process or because he was no longer a threat, but do you think that there's something about Dahmer himself that makes killing him wrong?
If you do, seek help.
Everyone is a human, but some people do deserve to die. Revenge fiction relies upon this fact. Based on how she’s introduced in this game, Abby is one of those people. She is irredeemable. Her characterization is too negative. She needs to die for what she’s done—especially considering that “frontier justice” is the best we can hope for in the post-apocalypse.
“But what about Ellie,” I hear you cry. “Ellie is bad too!”
You’re right. Ellie is bad. But she’s only bad in this game. Empathy has been effectively established before we start seeing her do bad things. Our sympathy for Stalin in my hypothetical drama is predicated on us getting to know him before he enslaves half of the USSR’s populations in the GULAG system and revokes NEP and relocates huge numbers of minority populations in brutal death marches, just as how our sympathy for the Germans in Downfall is predicated upon us being shown the people, rather than the politics, behind the NSDAP.
We’re expected to learn about how human Abby is after we see that she’s a fucking psycho. This is why no one likes her.
Where's the conflict?
I like the character of Owen and I like how those scenes at the aquarium are written, but we’re thrust straight into them after barely being given a chance to know the characters. Think about how long it is that you’ve known Ellie in the first game before there’s an entire sequence with no combat, no threats, and nothing but character.
If you’re like me, your first thought is probably within the Left Behind DLC. That’s because moments like those aquarium flashbacks have to be earned. You can’t put them in the game and expect the audience to care, because subjecting us to a sequence without drive, without conflict, and without real gameplay is a luxury. It doesn’t stand alone. It isn’t a substitute for actual character development. An hour in an aquarium flashback is the icing on exploring Abby’s character; it’s not a substitute for the cake itself, and eating it out of context doesn’t do much to tell you about how good the meal as a whole is.
And it’ll MAKE YOU FAT.
Meandering with Ellie after she’s been in one and a half games is fine and forgivable. Meandering as Abby, after seeing her murder Joel, is a death sentence. If we were expected to learn to love Ellie through Left Behind before having played the base game, it wouldn’t work.
This all comes down to conflict. Ellie’s section, despite its enormous flaws, has some kind of central conflict: find Abby. This gives us something to root for. When there’s conflict, we can get behind people who are morally questionable. Abby’s sections have no meaningful conflict. All of that stuff in the aquarium? There is no conflict AT ALL. It’s just, as I’ve said, icing. That might be okay if it was a small portion of a larger game, but it isn’t. Those aquarium scenes are why we’re expected to like Abby. Because…we’re supposed to find her charming, I guess?
You simply cannot write a visual story this way. Maybe a novel, maybe, but not a game or a movie. It violates all of the rules. This isn’t brave or bold or innovative, it’s just inept. A Hollywood film written this way would never get made. The script would never be greenlit.
The State of Nature
In the first game, there's this really jarring time skip between Summer and Fall, where Ellie and Joel just kind of teleport from Pittsburgh to Wyoming. If you're not an American, you may not realize that Pittsburgh and Wyoming are about as far apart as Paris and Moscow. I've always wondered...what happened during all of that time? What adventures did we miss?
This teleportation, however, works for one important reason: the world of The Last of Us is big...and it's mostly empty. This is established beforehand when Joel and Ellie drive from Boston to Pittsburgh; cities are dangerous hotspots, but the countryside at large isn't all that hazardous.
I would now like to contrast this with the second game.
So Ellie and Dina and also Jesse and Tommy, and Abby and her friends, teleport freely from Jackson to Seattle. Well, okay, maybe it's just empty, I can maybe live with that. It does seem a little hard to buy, though, especially because zombies in this game wander around the US like WWZ hordes, but whatever.
Okay. Now we're in Seattle.
Seattle, apparently, is SO DANGEORUS, that when Abby wants to go visit Owen at his aquarium, she has to have AN ENTIRE DAY of gameplay to get there. Well, this is the apocalypse. I can buy that. It's probably pretty dangerous.
I need to emphasize this point. The entirety of Abby's first day has no narrative. Its sole purpose is to show the player how incredibly violent and dangerous this world is.
And then the game forgets.
When Abby finally discovers the bodies of Mel and Owen, I was amped for a scene in which we played as her tracking Ellie across Seattle. That sounded so badass. It would've been really cool.
Instead, Abby teleports to the theatre.
So do they all. Everyone just teleports to wherever they need to go, despite the fact that we spend AN ENTIRE DAY establishing that this world is so dangerous that we need to have hours of gameplay just to talk a stroll down the street.
Obviously all of that shit is just filler. It has no bearing on the story. But this bothers me so, so much. There's no internal logic to the narrative. It's all so jarring.
The Seraphites
Weird post-apocalypse religious fundamentalists are a horrible cliche. You're telling me that a bunch of Amish psychopaths have set up shop in Seattle, and had massive success, preaching that technology is evil...despite the fact that most of them were probably born in our modern, secular age? Really?
Is this a joke??
Seriously. The Seraphites are like something out of Fallout. They don't fit with The Last of Us' aesthetic. I'm once again left wondering if Neil actually played the first game.
WLF vs. The Seraphites
Abby's section concludes with a big dumb boring pointless stupid action scene in which you ride a horse with Lev through a warzone. I have some questions about this sequence that I'd really like help answering.
1. Why are all of the buildings uniformly on fire?
Do the WLF have mortars? Did they drop napalm? Why is every house on fire at the same time? Who set all of these fires? Why?
2. How did the WLF uniformly distribute themselves across an entire island during an invasion?
Didn't they, like, have to land somewhere first? Did they parachute in??
3. Why is the Space Needle on an island?
The Space Needle is not on an island.
If anyone has answers to these questions, let me know in the comments below. I'd ask Neil but he'd block me on Twitter if I tried.
A Story Backwards
I don't want to harp on about the pacing any more than I have to, but I would like to point out that the presentation of this game's story is engineered to create player apathy. We're expected to immerse ourselves into the lives of Mel and Owen after we've found out that Ellie kills them all pointlessly in a cutscene. All throughout this review I've said "why should we care?" Well, this right here is an enormous reason why we SHOULDN'T. We know how it ends. There's no mystery, there's no tension. Why get invested in Owen's story when we KNOW that it doesn't go anywhere?
The answer is...you don't.
If Ellie's and Abby's sections could have been told side-to-side, the entire game would have worked so much better. Owen's death would have been much more impactful if we actually gave a shit about him when he died. We'd maybe even hold it against Ellie for what she's just done. But Neil needed the swap to Abby to be a big surprise, so a story constructed in the least intuitive way possible is what we got.
The End
A common criticism of this game’s finale is that Abby gets away mostly intact, despite the fact that she successfully enacted her vengeance, while Ellie fails to carry her vengeance through…and yet also loses everything in the process.
If you honestly thought Ellie was going to kill Abby in the end, you are a stupid person. That was never on the table as far as I’m concerned. That climax would go against this game’s thematic purpose, clearly. In fact, I thought both characters would be captured by the Rattlers (in cutscenes), then forced to work together to escape—thereby coming to a new understanding, and parting ways on equitable terms. That really would have driven the humanizing message of the game home, I think.
Instead, we got the game’s actual ending.
Generally, in narrative, stories have what we call themes. Themes are the moral lessons that your character must learn in order to overcome the antagonist at the climax, thereby reaching a new stasis. Every good story does this in some respect. If you honestly can reject this premise, you have no idea what you’re talking about and have never studied storytelling to any extent whatsoever. Everything needs a theme, no matter how basic. We tell stories to learn about the world around us; the theme is what’s being taught.
In a tragedy, the character fails to learn the theme in time, or does so only after it’s too late, and is punished for it. Tragedies are about people who make the wrong decisions. This is where catharsis comes from. In a more conventional modern story, the character learns the theme and is rewarded. She gets the girl, saves the day, wins the game—whatever.
At the end of The Last of Us: Part II, Ellie makes the correct decision. She breaks the cycle of violence. She frees herself from her hatred. AND SHE IS STILL PUNISHED FOR IT!
This is so wrong. It’s wrong in every way. Part II would be a decent, albeit very sloppy, tragedy if Ellie got what she wanted at the expense of all she had. That’s the traditional revenge arc—Hamlet, Monte Cristo, Sweeney Todd, whatever.
But Ellie makes the right decision! She learns the theme! She doesn’t get what she wants, she loses everything she has, and she’s left with nothing at all.
Worst of all, her fear has been realized: she is now totally alone in the world. She has nothing to live for. This would be perfect…if she’d actually taken her vengeance. She doesn’t take her vengeance. Therefore, this doesn’t work.
It seems like Neil has forgotten that the point of storytelling is to teach us and not the characters. It doesn’t matter if Ellie “perpetuates the cycle of violence;” the point is that WE learn from her mistakes. WE learn about the cycle of violence. This is the whole idea behind every single one of Shakespeare’s tragedies.
The entire thematic purpose of the game falls flat on this point. For one, if Ellie had simply killed Lev and Abby, the cycle of violence would have ended. There was no one left to come after her. Two, the person who fails to learn this specific theme about vengeance is the one who gets the ‘happy’ (although still pretty shitty) ending!
Remember when I mentioned justice earlier? This ending violates the audience’s sense of justice, and it’s possible to read its events as actually condoning violence. I mean on the most primal level possible. If Ellie is going to be punished despite making the right decision, she might as well have made the wrong one, right? Why not? It’s not like she has anything else to lose. I know, I know, somethingsomething about forgiving Joel or whatever, or she maintains her humanity. That’s not good enough.
As the audience, the message we take away is that murder is bad—which I think I knew already—and that pursuing vengeance is also bad. Well, so is eating candy and playing video games; we do it because it makes us feel good. It’s entirely human, particularly when your existence is haunted by PTSD nightmares that mean you can’t ever return to normalcy until achieving closure. The pursuit of this closure is so bad, apparently, that even repenting—and losing two of your fingers for it—isn’t enough. Simply making the mistake is worthy of punishment.
If you take only one thing away from this essay, I want it to be a realization of how fucking wrong this is.
Zombieland
The Last of Us is a series about zombies. Nobody calls them that, but we all know it. With that said, the game works hard to make its “infected” seem more than what they are. There’s been an effort to give their appearance a realistic justification—the cordyceps fungus has made the jump to man, and it is our reckoning. There is at least the façade that this is a story of Man vs. Nature, and that the zombies we’re facing down have a lifecycle, a biological reason to exist, and that they’re just another form of life. The notion in the apocalypse that “life finds away” is one that, thematically, I think is extremely relevant to the first game. Man has left Salt Lake City, but giraffes now roam free. The streets are abandoned, but foliage reclaims what was once taken away. The fall of civilization isn’t actually the end; it’s just the end of us. This is The Last of Us, remember, not The Last of Them or The End of the World. The world is doing just fine. In fact, it’s better than ever. It’s just us on the out. Even the “zombies” aren’t necessarily bad. All hosts think their parasites are bad, but that doesn’t mean they’re evil. They just are. They exist to propagate themselves.
For some reason I expected the sequel to lean more heavily into this aspect. I was wrong. Naughty Dog has demonstrated they had no interest whatsoever in this thematic point. Instead, cordyceps infected humans are just zombies. No effort has been made to naturalize them in Part II. In fact, now they travel in hordes! They attack en masse! They wait for victims passing by under the snow banks! In short, they’re zombies. World War Z zombies, no less.
I’ve always wondered: how does the supply of infected keep growing? Cannibalism and parasitism don’t go very well together. Anytime someone gets infected, they’re either eaten or their infector is killed. This is not very good for population sustainability!
But The Last of Us is not, nor has it ever been, particularly concerned with the logistics of the apocalypse. And that’s fine. It doesn’t have to be. It isn’t about the world. It’s about Joel and Ellie.
…or so we all thought. But if Abby’s sections aren’t about this fucked up world, then they truly do have nothing. This is yet another inconsistency. I appreciate that the game has ditched generic human enemies of “hunters,” replacing them with factions that have real personality—a little bit like the difference between Fallout 3 and New Vegas—but I lament the decision to turn the infected into pure monsters. I feel like it misses the point. The Last of Us is a natural disaster, not a supernatural or scientific one. And yet face down the Rat King—basically, a big fucking zombie undead monster. Great. The entire art style is the reclamation of urbanity by nature, but apparently the infected are no longer natural. What’s the point, then? Why not just have them be demons? Why pretend they’re cordyceps-infected at all? Because it makes them look freaky?
The brilliance of the first game's infected is an idea just left in the ether. Now no one will ever be able to explore those themes in the medium of zombie fiction, because cordyceps fungus is so distinctively TLoU and I don’t think there’s any better way to have a zombie virus that’s also natural. I so desperately want to write a zombie story set in this series’ universe to capitalize on what I think is there, and now the entire thing has been ruined. We will never get what was so easily within reach.
What Went Wrong?
I want to conclude this series with a discussion of what went wrong with this game. How did we go from The Last of Us, which still inspires new players with its brilliance even seven years later, to The Last of Us: Part II, which is about as intelligently written and designed as an actual spore of cordyceps fungus?
It's not a difficult question to answer, actually. They made Neil VP.
And it's really that simple. In Hollywood, it's nigh unheard of to concentrate both creative and financial powers into the hands of a single person. Outside of the greatest auteurs in the field--Francis Ford Coppola, Orson Welles--no one can handle that kind of responsibility alone. Filmmaking is a collaborative process, and you need multiple perspective to make a good product.
Game development is even more collaborative than film. It lives and breathes on harmony between the different branches of the developer. Bruce Straley was a check and balance against Neil's ineptitude. Straley managed to turn Neil's obvious bad ideas into great ones.
But then Straley left, and we're left with only Neil in charge...and now he's VP. So he has all of the creative control, and no one can question him, because he's also the boss. He answers to no one but himself. Dare to say "hey Neil, the pacing sucks?" You're putting your job at risk. This is how people like Tommy Wiseau make movies like The Room: they have nobody to answer to except themselves.
That is a horrible position to be in. Even good writers need external forces to filter out the bad ideas. Giving your director full creative control means that all of the bad ideas get thrown into the pot, even if everyone else realizes that it's a mistake. It takes a true genius, like Orson Welles, to avoid catastrophe.
Finally, I would like to make the controversial statement that Neil Druckmann is NOT Orson Welles, and add on that even Orson made some really shitty movies over the course of his career.
The True Tragedy Was Inside Us All Along
I think Part II is one of gaming's greatest tragedies. Never has so much potential been so horribly wasted. But it was almost fated. The odds that someone made a game as good as The Last of Us were 100%. The odds that Naughty Dog in particular could do it twice were basically 0%. What we got was even worse than I'd imagined, but I can't say I'm all that surprised.

My Personal GOTY Rankings! 2018 - Luciana Vega

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Vegas Inspired Dog Names | Popular Male and Female Names

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