One day early. Buckle up, it's a long one!
Trigger warning: digestive & anxiety issues, medical procedures
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: PERA account $7,389.65
Equity: roughly $45,000 (house and vehicles)
Savings account balance: $523
'Secret' cash stash: about $800 between us which we pretend doesn't exist.
Checking account balance: $2,318
Credit card debt: $6404.47 🤯
Student loan debt: $30,593.72 for my associate's in nursing and one semester of my BSN which I have no plans to finish.
Current clinic bill: $814. I have about $620 left in my flex account from last year that I need to use so I'll probably pay this off this month.
Section Two: Income
Income progression: It's been pretty straightforward for me. I worked at McDonald's in high school (minimum wage) and came back after one semester of college. I was eventually promoted to shift manager in 2007 (I think $9.50/hr). I got my CNA license in 2008 and started working at a nursing home ($10.65/hr). Gradually increased over the years. When I got my LPN license in 2016, I bumped up to around $16.50/hr. Another bump for my RN license at the end of 2017. I started at $26.50 and now make $28.75 base. I work 12 hour nights so I get $.50 differential from 6p-10p and $1 for 10p-6a. This is considered a joke of a differential btw. We get time and a half on holidays. I do truly love my work but I'm so burnt out. I've been in long term care for so long that I'm not sure how to even do anything else at this point.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: ~$2700, more if I work a holiday or pick up a shift
Taxes: ~$700 Health insurance: $303 (family plan with high deductible) Retirement contributions: 6.5% of my pay HSA: $192.30 Flex: $46.16 Clinic bill payment: $100 Life/STD insurance: $54.42 Christmas account: $50
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: generally $0. I do sell some craft items on the side but I don't hustle.
Child support: supposed to be $531 but I get what I get most of the time.
I am married but we do not have a joint account. B's gross is $41,600/year. He recently started a new job and got a $4.50/hr pay increase. He's also a volunteer firefighter and gets paid once a year from that, although last year's check was only $750. He carries dental and vision insurance for us and has a flex set up, about $170/month.
Section Three: Expenses
Rent / Mortgage / HOA fees: $0. 2 bed 1 bath home we share with my daughter (Z, she's 8) full time and B's stepson (E, he's 14) part time. We own outright.
Property tax: $497 this year, B pays.
Car registration: $206 this year for my car, goes down a bit every year.
Home & car (3) insurance: $237, B pays. We just combined everything a few days ago so we might split this. ETA after getting the first bill, I will pay *$265/6 months* for my car and half of the SUV, about $175/6 months.*
Savings contribution: lol, whatever comes from my round up rule
Debt payments: CC bills $400, B's pellet grill $35 (was a Christmas present). B has no debt.
Electric: fluctuates with the climate, last month was $245!!! We are trying to figure out ways to reduce this. B pays.
Gas: $50 now on the yearly plan, B pays.
Watesewegarbage: ~$60, B pays.
Wifi: $59, I pay.
Cellphone: $290, I pay for 5 lines.
Babysitter: $180
Student loans: in deferment, not making payments
Meds: around $50, paid with flex money.
Monthly subscriptions: Hulu, HBO, Pandora, Design Bundles, razors, Netflix, Apple storage, NYT, Cricut Access, Disney+, Amazon subscribe and save items, my entire life, $250. I pay.
Amazon Prime: $124/year, I pay.
Pet expenses: averages around $100 between food, haircuts, shots and insurance for my youngest pup, I pay.
Car payment: $405.27 for my car. We paid cash for our used SUV in December, and B's truck is old and has been paid off for years.
Groceries: around $400, B tends to grab things here and there and I get the big hauls.
School lunch: free this year! Thanks USDA!
Extracurriculars: Z opted out of any extracurriculars this year due to COVID.
Regular therapy: nope
1/16 Saturday
3:30 AM: I'm awake but I refuse to get out of bed. Cruise Indeed and Facebook for jobs. I recently put in my 30 day notice so I need to find something ASAP. I've put in probably 6 online applications already. Print out two applications, three copies of my resume, and create two cover letters. Why do I have to fill out all my info on an application when they can find it on a resume? Get a year of a resume and cover letter making site for $24.99 because I'm terrible at both. Buy some new Brumates that I don't need $67.93 and see that my yearly Prime payment has been pulled. Watch YouTube and fall back to sleep around 5.
8:20 AM: B crawls into bed after work and snowblowing basically the entire yard. Cuddle for a while so he can leech my body heat before I go upstairs. I need to wash my hair. Fall into an internet hole of Facebook and NYT while lounging with the dogs.
Noon: B comes upstairs. I didn't wash my hair. We need some groceries so decide to drive the hour to the nearest town with a Walmart AND a Menards - it's the 15% off bag sale right now. Throw in some dry shampoo, brush my teeth and get dressed. Change the water jug in our machine (our tap water is sketch), let the dogs out and head out.
1:18 PM: Gas is up to $2.34/gallon. Cringe thinking about filling up the SUV. My car is a hybrid but doesn't like Minnesota winters. B and I debate bringing our cat to the vet during the drive. She has FIV and has been losing weight, but we decide against it as there's not much we can do at this point anyways. She's still happy so 🤷‍♀️
2:34: Check out of Menards. $99.15 on a new door lock with keypad, sanding blocks and paper, disposable condiment cups, and Armor All wipes after 15% off and B's $15 return credit that he forgot to use. B gets LED bulbs, grill brushes, motor oil, a door latch for our porch, something for his brother's toilet and a propane tank exchange. Only saw one guy without a mask, so I'd call that a win.
3:05: $15.98 after coupons at Joann's on more tumbler supplies (e-6000 spray, 5 taklon brushes) and one roll of clearance ribbon. Realize I have my Christmas money in my purse and forgot to use it. B goes to Harbor Freight for more tools he doesn't need and a sporting goods store for a gift card for his best friend's birthday.
3:32: We decide to go to Perkin's, hoping they won't be too busy in the off hour. The hostess is wearing her mask under her nose and I'm so annoyed. I have some weird stomach issue going on, so I just get two eggs and toast. B tells me he should be able to get the first COVID shot this week, and I tell him I still haven't changed my mind (we both already had COVID during an outbreak at our workplace). I've been 'not preventing' pregnancy for almost two years. At this point, I'm too anxious to get the vaccine, and there is just not enough data available on pregnant/TTC women to change my mind. My time limit is my birthday, so if I'm not pregnant by then I'll be getting the vaccine in August. $28.87 +$5 tip.
4:47: Check out of Walmart with wet cat food, pop, milk, butter, Mac and cheese, cereal, snacks for the kiddo, chips, ketchup, tator tots, Gatorade, Hawaiian Punch and deli meat. $88.65. Every time I ask B if we need something, he says we have it at home. Also, no grapes? Usually a Walmart trip sends me into an anxiety attack but the store is pretty empty today.
5:09: My favorite stop of the day: the liquor store. The store at home is so crazy expensive so this is a treat. I get Truly Iced Tea and two different kinds of hard coffee to try for $41.91. B picks up three cases of beer.
5:18: B stops for gas ($37 🥴) and we head for home. Buy some vape juice online, $86.59. Yeah yeah, I know. My gut hurts, I'm super bloated and I just want to nap. We talk about our options regarding my medical procedure that is coming up and decide to try and get it done while we're still on my work insurance. I had a positive FIT test so now I have to have a colonoscopy. I'll end up maxing out the deductible but I'll get it half off if we can pay the bill within 30 days. I'll get my PTO paid out at the end of my 30 day notice, so we should be able to swing it. Not really sure we have a great option at this point as B doesn't want me to take on another payment. He is so anti debt, and I have $6500 in CC debt. We are opposites in so many ways.
6:20: Get home and unload the SUV. The dogs are going WILD. I feel like garbage and immediately get into pajamas. Give the cat a can of wet food and she eats a few bites. I still can't find a type she really enjoys. I also hook up the drinking water fountain I bought for her a few days ago. B installs the new door lock and I'm thrilled to have a keypad again. The old one stopped working a few months ago. Pay an invoice for a bulk order of keychain tassels from a wholesale group, $19. Basically do nothing for the rest of the night.
9:45: I'm falling asleep in my recliner. I decide to do my nighttime routine (rinse face, No7 HydraLuminous Gel Cream, Algenist Complete Renewal Eye Balm) and go to bed in hopes of feeling better tomorrow. I skip brushing my teeth because I'm nursing a ginger ale. Watch some YouTube and fall asleep around 10:30.
Daily total: $478.07
1/17 Sunday
2:09 AM: I wake up for the second time tonight with nightmares. I rarely have them so I'm annoyed. B isn't in bed to cuddle with either. I go upstairs to use the bathroom and find him in his recliner. Realize I forgot to take my meds last night (antidepressant, probiotic, omeprazole, hair skin & nail vitamin, Lysine supplements, allergy pill) so grab those along with two Goli gummies and a lorazepam to help me calm down. My gut still hurts, and I'm so over this. Browse the internet and watch YouTube again to fall asleep.
3:55: Wake up to stomach cramps and know my colon is going to empty itself out. Park myself in the bathroom for half an hour and try not to pass out. I'm not sure if it's just IBS or something worse going on, but I'm glad I'm getting it checked out.
7:17: Still awake. I am stressed by the potential of not having a job for a few weeks, my health, and the current state of everything else in the world. Decide to compound this by opening my NYT app. I am so hopeful Joe can start turning things around.
12:17 PM: I must have finally fallen asleep because B comes down to ask if I want to go to South Dakota today. We check out local case rates by county and decide we are probably safe. We are about the only ones who wear our masks in public over there. I must admit that going through this pandemic feels much different out here in the boonies than it does in the city. We had a large surge in cases for about 4 weeks in November-December, and now we are back down to about 2-3 new cases a day. Our local businesses work hard to keep us safe, in part because they don't want to be known as the place so-and-so got COVID. Ah, small town gossip. We do our part try to support them as we really can't afford to lose any businesses in our area. I shoot a text to Z's dad to confirm I'm picking her up in the morning.
1:28: I finally get out of bed and wash my hair, which is my least favorite chore. I brush it out before my shower, use some Head and Shoulders 2 in 1 to combat my winter dry scalp, finish it off with SheaMoisture Purple Rice Water conditioner. I decide to heat style it today, so I use two heat protection sprays. To brush, wash, condition, brush again, dry and curl my hair takes 1.5 hours. Now I remember why I never do this.
3:30: We hide in the corner of the bar for the meat raffle. I really love coming here because the money they raise goes to local charities. We also have drinks and supper. I get a BLT chicken wrap, and we win 3 free drink tickets. We head out around 6. $50 + $10 tip, this comes out of my Christmas money. B goes to the drivethru on our way home and gets me a frozen hot chocolate. Yuuuum.
8:45: For some reason I can't keep all the school calendar changes straight. Z was supposed to be off tomorrow, but I just realized she does have school. I message Z's teacher to let her know Z won't be there, since she has her yearly physical tomorrow after being rescheduled 3 times. Do a quick nighttime routine, take my meds and head downstairs for YouTube and sleep. Hoping for a decent night of it!
Daily total: $60
1/18 Monday
3:05 AM: I'm awake, but for no particular reason this time. Working the night shift really messes with your sleeping schedule. I must have been snoring because B has gone upstairs to sleep in E's room. I clean the litter box and decide to fire up my laptop and Cricut machine to get some projects done I've been procrastinating. I finish a water bottle for B, a stash jar for a friend, create a couple Valentine's mock ups for my business page and seal some glitter signs. I grab a couple SVGs on Etsy $1.38. My mom sees my Snapchat and we message over the woes of insomnia.
6:20: I have come to the realization that buying craft items and actually using them are two separate hobbies. I lay in bed with the cat and doze.
8:40: Leave the house to go pick up Z. Her dad lives about 25 minutes away. On the way home we stop at Casey's for random snacks, $7.64. The clinic calls and we schedule my colonoscopy for Thursday. I have to get some blood drawn later this morning when I bring Z to her appointment. I also have to have a CT with contrast so I'll figure out when I can get that done as well. I take a quick body shower when we get home.
10:55: Bring Z to her well child check-up. I think they asked us about 100 questions, and some of them were super weird for an 8 year old. She finally gets her flu shot and only spills a few tears. No major issues so that's a win! She does miss a few sounds on her hearing test, but we decide to just watch it for now. I get my blood drawn when we're done with her appointment and talk to the radiologist about my CT. He says my prior authorization hasn't gone through yet and he'll call me when we can get it scheduled. We're both hopeful it can get done tomorrow. Then I talk to the surgical nurse to get my pre-op instructions. Finally leave the clinic around 12:45. Pick up my surgical prep from the drugstore, $52.06 (!!!) from my flex account. Z requests cheese pizza for lunch so I oblige.
1:17 PM: I get a call about a job and set up an interview for Wednesday afternoon.
4:10: I bring Z down to the local salon for a haircut. I can't go in (COVID restrictions) but Z loves the feel of a fresh cut so I don't worry. Her hair dresser is her classmate's mom and my old neighbor. $18 + $7 tip.
6:30: B has a fireman's meeting tonight, so Z and I have mac and cheese per our tradition. B hates it so we usually only eat it when he's gone. I make Z have an apple on the side so we can make at least one good food choice today. The Bachelor is on tonight! I usually hit the Reddit stream but I got a late start tonight so I skip it.
9:05: Make sure Z brushes her teeth and hug her goodnight.
10:20: My oldest (and crankiest) dog just cannot be pleased tonight. She keeps wanting to go outside, but it's cold and snowy and she doesn't like either of those things. Sigh. Do my usual nighttime routine, take my meds and go to bed. Fall asleep around 11.
Daily total: $33.99
1/19 Tuesday
6:45 AM: Success! Finally got some sleep. Good thing I woke up though, because I forgot to set an alarm. I wake up a very cranky Z at 7 and make sure she gets ready for school. We are very fortunate that our school district is small, and Z has been going to school in person, full time, all school year. She never complains about wearing her mask either. I drop her off at 8, then B and I bring our SUV to the mechanic. I think B is dropping me off at home but instead we go out for breakfast downtown. I have a pancake, scrambled egg and side of fruit. I hear the regulars (old guys who come in every morning for coffee) talking about signing up for their COVID shots. This is a good sign! B pays, $16.04 + $3.96 tip.
9:01: I get an email that a hospital position I applied for has already been filled. Dang. It's still snowing, so I plan for a lazy day. B goes outside to snowblow.
9:55: The radiologist calls and tells me we can get my CT completed. We decide to do it right away this morning. I run up to the clinic to grab my contrast drink and set a timer so I drink the right amounts during the right time frames. It tastes like flat, flavored water. My stomach doesn't seem to appreciate it much. Hopefully this doesn't become a problem when I'm in the CT machine.
11:00: Get my CT done. I get an IV in my arm and the radiologist pushes Lord knows what into my veins, but it makes me feel like I wet my pants 🤣 He lets me check out the images when we're done. It only takes about 15 minutes and then I head back home. I sit around with B for a while, then I go downstairs to make a few crafty things and fill an order. I put a couple more things on my business page as well. During this time B brings his truck out to the mechanic and brings home the SUV. They put in a 'Minnesota approved' battery, the repair cost was $220. I offer B half but he declines, saying "let's see what the truck costs first."
2:45 PM: I get so distracted crafting that I almost forget to go pick Z up from school. She gets in the car and tells me she had the best day ever! I ask what happened, and she says she didn't get strawberries at lunch. Oh... she was being sarcastic. She picks up her room and puts away her laundry when we get home. We don't do much this afternoon.
7:00: B makes supper tonight, nothing fancy. A chicken patty for me and corn dogs for him and Z. I'm staying away from roughage to make my life easier tomorrow. Z gets ready for bed and I tuck her in at 8:45. Shortly after, B leaves for work. I go downstairs to work on a Valentine's day order.
Daily total: $0
1/20 Wednesday
12:45 AM: I have spent far too long organizing files on my computer. I call it a night. I look up my CT report and it doesn't show anything urgent or explain why there's blood in my stool. Sigh. Normal routine and bedtime.
7:05: I'm up. IT'S INAUGURATION DAY! B is already in bed. He tells me he has the chills, is nauseated, and his arm is killing him. I tell him his COVID shot is working and bring him some ibuprofen. I wake up Z and she gets ready for school. While I'm waiting, I take a body shower, let the dogs out and feed them. Drop Z off at school at 8, deliver a Valentine's Day order (+$20!) and go home to watch the inauguration while eating mini wheats.
10:45: I watch Kamala get sworn in and I get tears in my eyes. Such a historic moment.
11:45: I make myself scrambled eggs and drink a Dr. Pepper. After this, it's only clear liquids until tomorrow afternoon. B helps me give my oldest dog a haircut. You'd think we were killing her the way she cries. She's been getting haircuts every 2-3 months her whole life and still can't sit still.
2:00 PM: I have a virtual interview. The job sounds so interesting but it involves a lot of travel, and I'm not sure that would work with my family. I pick up Z from school when I'm done. She tells me "happy Joe Biden day!" when she gets into the car. We talk about the possible new job and she's not into the idea of me being gone.
5:00: B leaves to go work on his brother's house. He's been there on and off all week. He also got the night off for his floating holiday. I take my meds early so they have time to get into my system. I mix up the colonoscopy prep: two packets of powder into one liter of water. I make dinner for Z while I'm in the kitchen.
6:45: COLONOSCOPY PREP IS NASTY. Like, the taste of the drink is so disgusting and it's making me nauseated. I know it's important to keep it down, but it's also important to drink it within the one hour timeframe. Uuggghhhhh. It ends up being one hour and 45 minutes. B comes home around 8:30 and gets Z into bed.
9:00: The best way to describe how I feel is early labor. The cramps come and go and are so intense I have to take deep breaths. It's so exhausting I end up falling asleep.
Daily total: $0
1/21 Thursday
12:30 AM: IT'S TIME.
6:00: I slept between bathroom trips, but now it's time to mix up my second liter of prep. Yes, I have to do this to myself all over again. This time, I have to make sure to drink it all within the one hour timeframe.
7:30: Everybody is awake and chaos ensues. Did I mention we only have one bathroom? Z is trying to get ready for school, B wants to shower and I'm, well, you know. I get my entire liter of prep down in 65 minutes. B is still not feeling well from his COVID shot.
8:45: I manage a body shower although I had to get out once for the toilet. I am basically a zombie at this point. B drops me off at the hospital at 9:10. When I get there, they are running behind so I have to wait half an hour before I get into my room.
10:05: My nurse blows my vein and I have a panic attack. We are starting this day off great. A second nurse comes in and gets my IV in right away, thank God. Things move pretty quickly from here. By 10:30, I'm in the OR getting the good drugs. By 11:20, I'm awake enough to remember what's going on and drinking water so they'll pull my IV. The surgeon comes in and tells me they didn't see anything abnormal, but they did take some biopsies so hopefully I get some answers. By 12:05, I'm walking out the door.
12:15 PM: I am absolutely starving. B takes me out for lunch. I have a tuna sandwich and a 7Up. Our total is something around $17. I throw him $5 for the tip.
1:00: We're home. We spend the afternoon watching movies and laying around. My stomach is still pretty upset from all the torture. B picks up Z from school since I'm not supposed to drive yet. When she gets home, she regales me with the tale of getting hit in the face with a hulu hoop in gym. She actually has a fat lip!
5:00: I get a jar of my favorite eye cream on a BST board, $20.
6:00: B heads out to work and I make supper. We have tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches tonight. Comfort food for the win.
9:00: Z has a quarter in her tonight. We play a couple games on her iPad before I stick her in the shower and then in bed. I promptly fall asleep in the living room.
Daily total: $25
1/22 Friday
3:30 AM: Move downstairs to our bedroom.
8:00: After work, B picked up E and they come home. The dogs are frantic. I eat a bowl of cereal and hang out with Z, since she doesn't have school today. We make funny drawings of each other and she reads me some knock knock jokes. I also get two more interviews set up for next week. I head back to bed around noon. I have to go back to work tonight. I have a block schedule: 7 off, 3 on, 1 off, 3 on, 4 off, 3 on. Our pay periods are adjusted for the night shift, so if I work the weekend that's my 36 hours for the week.
4:30 PM: I'm up. I take a shower and wash my hair. B makes pizza for the kids, another traditional meal timing in our house. He leaves for work at 5:30. I am dreading work. I have been exhausted after every shift no matter if it was busy or not. I'm not sure if it's my actual job, or just the night shift catching up to me. Either way, I'm looking forward to a new position. Also, getting ready for work is a chore these days. I use Fog Block on my glasses, then put side shields on. I hook my two masks up to my ear savers. Then I find two bottles of hand sanitizer and two pens to put in my pockets because I always lose one somewhere along the way. I pack my bag (water bottle, energy drink, iPad, shoes, snacks and supper) and start my car. I say bye to the kids and head out at 5:45.
6:00: Work is already a shit show and I just clocked in 5 minutes ago. I'm so annoyed and I just don't want to be here. But you better believe I'm going to suck it up and be happy for my residents. They are usually pretty happy to see me after my long stretch off.
11:45: I buckle up for what's going to be a very long shift.
Daily total: $0
Weekly total: $597.09
Food + Drink: $177.07
Fun / Entertainment: $60
Home + Health: $203.44
Clothes + Beauty: $45
Transport: $0
Other: $111.58
Reflection: This was a normal week considering its events. Obviously I don't usually buy a new door lock, and I typically only stock up on vape juice every 6 months or so. I'm heavily into my depression spending, but with everything going on in the world I've cut myself some slack. I'm only going to live once! *ETA our cat passed away this evening, 1/25. We are very sad but are happy we got to give her a good life for the last 3 years.

Section 0: Background
Hi everyone! I’m trying to tailor this a bit more to reflect the UK Money Diary style where I give context on the week before and reflect on it after. I also added in some of the questions from the recent thread about what Refinery29 should ask diarists (see here).
I wrote this the week of Thanksgiving; my partner and I stayed in NYC instead of going home to either of our parents’ homes. We wear masks and stay socially distant when we leave the house. I’m thankful that we live close to a park and live on a block where we know and enjoy talking to our neighbors.
This was a relatively normal week for us during a pandemic, save for me spending a bit more than normal and it being Thanksgiving. We’ve both lived in the city since college and have so-so relationships with our families, so we didn’t leave for “home” when the pandemic hit.
I also just named my boyfriend instead of giving him an initial. He’s the only person I actually saw this week, but the initials always throw me off when I read these.
What do money and success mean to you? What are your end goals?
It helps me to see money as a tool. I never resonate with people who say “money doesn’t buy happiness” because to a certain degree, it does. Money enables me to live the life I want.
I’m pursuing FIRE (financial independence, retire early) and hope to be financially independent (able to live off my investments) by my early 30s. To do so, I save 60%+ of my income per month. I want this because working for 40 years isn’t sustainable for me—I have a very cushy tech job and still get anxiety and rage about waking up every morning to work, the rat race, and being paid inequitably to male peers. I’d like to give myself the option to leave this world as soon as possible.
As an alternative, I could see myself successful if I open a product consultancy, where I advise early-stage startups on product management, what to build for their MVP, and product-market fit. I’m really interested in tech ethics and the questionable practices in venture capital, so I’d love to be in a place where I could be picky about what clients I take and help truly mission-driven businesses thrive. I could see this also working as a small business incubator—why not apply what works in startups to small businesses?
I don’t yet have a firm picture of what I’d like my life to look like when I retire. I’m interested in spending a lot of time reading, traveling to new places for extended periods of time, and potentially writing a book. I get extremely interested in niche topics. Right now if I had to guess, I’d be writing a book about the ways multi-level marketing companies (MLMs) manipulate women.
Are you a spender or a saver?
Definitely a saver. My partner is more of a spender, and we’ve influenced each other well. Seeing him spend money on himself for video games helps me realize I can spend more money on myself for things I just want (see my big purchase for myself this week).
In turn, seeing me save a lot of money has motivated him to up his 401k contribution and overall savings. He’s also interested in FIRE, although I’d say my timeline is more aggressive.
If you could go back in time, what's the one piece of financial advice you would give to your past self?
Learn about investing, look up the terms you don’t know, and start doing it as soon as possible. Ask questions to people you know or on the internet.
On to the diary!
​
Section One: Assets and Debt
Investment Balance
$131,175

• Retirement (includes 2 company 401ks and 1 rollover IRA): $55,730
• Brokerage: $27,233
• Roth IRA: $25,439
• Managed account: $17,923
• HSA: $4,850

Equity if you're a homeowner
N/A, I rent in a HCOL city. No plans to own anytime soon
Savings account balance
$10,270
Checking account balance
$3,433 in checking account for bills

• This fluctuates, but I try to invest anything over $2k. I’m pretty conservative with my checking account buffer, and don’t worry much about the interest I’m “losing,” especially because interest rates are so low right now

$2,518 in checking account for rent

• I keep a holdover account that’s connected to Venmo and Zelle to pay rent

Credit card debt
N/A. There’s $1,348 currently on my credit cards, but I pay them all off in full each month. My parents signed me up for a credit card as soon as I was old enough and taught me about how important it was to pay in full. In fact, I think this was so hammered into my brain that doing anything other than that each month was never an option. Because of this, I’ve always thought of credit cards as similar to debit cards—only spend money you have.
Student loan debt (for what degree)
I was fortunate to go to college on a full scholarship, including living expenses. I studied psychology and sociology, and I graduated without any student loan debt.
​
Section Two: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $6,570/month
I maxed out my 401k early this year, so for 8 months I was contributing $2,500/month out of my paychecks. That ended in September, so it changed my monthly take-home from about $4,650 to $6,570/month.
Deductions:

• 401k: $0/month (was $2,500/month)
• Medical: $128/month
• Dental and vision: $11/month

Income Progression

• I started in customer support right out of college, making $40,000/year + overtime, which ended up being about $52,000/year (thanks OT!).
• About a year later, I moved into an entry-level product role at the same company and received a raise to $60,000/year.
• The next year, I moved to a new company for a half-step promotion where I was making $82,000/year + 15% yearly bonus. The bonus was dependable enough that it was assumed as part of our total compensation, so let’s call it $95,000/year.
• Early this year, I switched companies again (noticing a theme?) for a promotion and now make $122,000/year.

I don’t have any other sources of income outside my main job. My partner makes a similar amount to me—about $117,000/year with bonus.
​
Section Three: Expenses
I live with my partner and we don’t have combined finances, but split many expenses 50/50. We use Splitwise to log transactions. He’s more laid-back about being paid back, but I’m much more “I don’t want to owe anyone anything, and I don’t want anyone to owe me anything” (I know, rigid, but I’m working on it!).
Splitwise is nice because it’d be ridiculous to Venmo request each other for a $4 coffee, but we can see how expenses are adding up. If someone has racked up a few hundred dollars of spending for both of us, the other person will cover our expenses for awhile. It works for us!
Rent
$2,200 for a 2 bed, 1 bath apartment in Brooklyn. We split rent 50/50.
Renters insurance
About $7/month for my portion. This covers all our possessions plus my boyfriend’s watches. He pays 75% of it because half of the monthly cost comes from the extra watch overage.
Savings contribution
I try to have about $10,000 sitting in my savings account at any given time, because it makes me feel safe in case of an emergency. I also like the freedom it enables, in case I wanted to leave my job and take a significant amount of time off. This is already at the $10k I want, so I don’t contribute to it monthly.
Investment contribution
It varies but on average I contribute $2,500/month to my brokerage account and Roth IRA (combined).
Donations
I try to donate about $200/month, but it’s pretty sporadic. This month I donated to the Yellowhammer Fund and Northwest Abortion Access Fund. One of my major goals for 2021 is to step up my donations and create an actual strategy around them, potentially involving a donor-advised fund.
Gas/electric
Our gas is $20-25/month and electric is $50/month. I pay gas and Will pays electric, both go in Splitwise. About $37/month total for me.
Wifi
Our wifi is $60/month, which goes into Splitwise—I pay $30/month.
Cellphone
I’m still on my parents’ phone plan—sheesh! This is convincing me that I should Venmo them for it each month.
Subscriptions
I pay for Hulu with ads, $5.99/month. My boyfriend pays for Netflix and we share a Spotify family plan with a couple of his friends, which I chip in $4/month for.
I also pay for the budgeting software YNAB (You Need a Budget) which is $84/year. I only pay it once a year in September.
Medical
I recently had to go to the emergency room for an overnight stay and follow up with some specialists. (I’m okay!) Because of that whole shindig I’m expecting to max out my deductible (and potentially my out-of-pocket-max) right at the end of the year. This will be about $4,000, but none of the claims have come through yet so I’m not sure of the exact total. I have a category in my budget for my deductible, and the rest will come out of my emergency fund.
Physical therapy
This month I’m starting pelvic floor physical therapy for dyspareunia (pain with intercourse).
I’d tried everything the internet suggested (“just relaaaaaax”) before getting the courage to find a new ob-gyn and ask her about it. She had some recommendations, but ultimately physical therapy was the “last resort” option that I’m now exploring.
My new physical therapist comes highly recommended but is out of network with insurance. Each session is $250, and I’ll go once every 2-3 weeks for the next few months as part of treatment. If you’ve worked through this problem (or are experiencing it now!) I’d love to hear your experience.
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Section Four: Additional Questions
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Absolutely. My dad was the first in his family to attend college and my parents made pretty calculated decisions about where they would live so I could go to the absolute best public school possible. Over 90% of students at my high school attend a 4-year college, and we start talking about it freshman year. To say college was encouraged in my environment is an understatement.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My dad has worked in finance since I was about 10. He’s always been really knowledgeable about both higher-level economic concepts and the minutiae of personal finance. My family is frugal, too: we clipped coupons and got clothes on super-sale at Kohl’s and Goodwill. I know there was a period of time when he became self-employed and money got very tight for a few years, but the bulk of those worries were largely kept from me.
Did you worry about money growing up?
Yes. While we were comfortable, we lived in such an affluent place that our family was in “the middle class” of the town and it made me worry more about money than I probably needed to. Think The Stepford Wives for context.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
In college, I became maybe 80% financially independent as I had a scholarship and worked part-time during school and over the summer, but I was still on their insurance.
I remember being frustrated in college because even though I knew I was extremely privileged, my friends in college had their parents pay their summer apartment rent and gave them an “allowance” of spending money, and I was “limited” by the options I could afford with the job I had. My dad told me at the time, “This is frustrating but it’s preparing you for actually having to live off the money you make in the near future.” (Great, great advice Dad.)
I’m technically still financially dependent on my parents for my cell phone bill, but otherwise I pay for everything: rent, insurance, utilities, food, therapy, and all wants in the form of clothing, workout classes, etc. I could ask my parents for money if I absolutely needed to, but would use it as a last resort.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
I have an account (mentioned above) that a family friend who’s a hedge fund manager, well, manages. I believe the initial deposit was $1000 over 10 years ago, but that money wasn’t mine either, it’s all a gift. It’s not very liquid—it’d take me several months (and some very good reasoning) to get any of that money withdrawn, since it’s supposed to be for “the future” (which I guess I could argue is now?).
I might receive a small amount of money when my grandmother passes, but it’d probably be around $1-2k, if at all.
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Day 1 Wednesday, November 25, 2020
8:30am Wake up and shower, take my vitamin C gummies, then make coffee. I wasn’t much of a daily coffee drinker until my offices had it for free, and now I’m definitely addicted. I don’t really care if the coffee is shitty or not, I just put some milk in it and it’s great. Right now I’m trying to drink half or three-quarter cups so I can attempt to pull back my addiction a bit. I log onto work at 9am.
11:30am Eat leftovers from last night for lunch—quesadilla + Spanish rice. There’s an incredible Mexican restaurant by us, and now I am ruined for the tacos, quesadillas and nachos from any other place.
12:30pm Will picks me up in the U-Haul. We’re driving about 20 min away to pick up a butcher block desk he bought off Craigslist, which ends up being from a small office that’s downsizing. The desk is $150 which he pays for. We love the office’s style (and the owner is super nice!) and walk around while he shows us what else he’s trying to get rid of.
We end up buying an extra-large ZZ plant and two side tables from him for an extra $120, way less than we would have paid for the quality elsewhere. My half will be $60, and I’ll split the U-Haul too, $44.51. $82.26
2:45pm That ended up taking a lot longer than we expected! We get back and unload the van, then I bring stuff inside while Will returns the van to the U-Haul location. I jump back onto work—so much for a slow afternoon before Thanksgiving. AWS is down, which powers a lot of our engineering work (and a lot of the internet!) so a lot of our teams are basically twiddling their thumbs. We chat about how to message the outage to customers.
5:45pm Will starts making dinner (braised chicken and veggies) and I sit down to read with a strawberry Chobani, but I end up just reading Reddit and searching for new podcasts to listen to.
7:45pm Dinner was great! Now…ice cream.
9:43pm I remember that my mom sent me ideas for her and my dad’s Christmas presents, so I order on Etsy and Amazon. My dad gets a mug with an Ernest Hemingway quote (“write drunk, edit sober”) ($21.54) and a book on writing ($16.63), and my mom gets this food warming tote contraption she wanted ($43.52). We’ve been paring down Christmases over the years—this year I asked for the Europe version of Ticket to Ride. $81.69
11:15pm I finish up the first episode of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City with some white cheddar Cheez-Its to snack on. After, I start on the dishes from dinner. I listen to the Product Market Misfits podcast while I do dishes—the episode with Kristen Anderson from Catch is great, highly recommend if you’re tired of just hearing stories about stereotypical Silicon Valley tech companies.
Day 1 Total: $166.69
Day 2 Thursday, November 26, 2020
10am Wake up super late since I stayed up scrolling on my phone too late last night. We make coffee and set out for a long walk around 11:15am.
12:05pm At the end of our walk, we swing by our local liquor store and buy 4 bottles of wine (red, white, rose, champagne). Will pays, total is $63.15 for everything. We haven’t had wine in the apartment for ages and I’m excited to have some stocked up. $31.57
12:30pm Get back from the walk, shower, then turn on football. I actually don’t really care about any NFL teams (I like college football a lot more), but it’s such calming background noise for me that I find myself looking for games when I have downtime. We also recently found out that Will’s friends’ dog only has a few months to live, so we order some jerky treats and a squeaky toy for him. $14.07
2:30pm We head out to the restaurant we’re going to for Thanksgiving lunch, a local place a short walk from our apartment. They’re doing a prix fixe menu of the classics—turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green beans, and a phenomenal tarte Tatin with ice cream for dessert.
We eat outside under heat lamps. It’s super cozy. With our bottle of wine and tip the total is $208 (I try to tip over and above the norm because it’s a pandemic and Thanksgiving). My half will be $104.
5:53pm Get back from the restaurant. We have a ton of leftovers which is awesome (I think it’s excessive frugality, but I almost expect to stretch takeout or restaurant meals into two meals). Exchange some texts with my friends about their socially-distant Thanksgiving celebrations.
I turn on the Washington vs. Cowboys game right at the halftime show, which is Kane Brown with the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. They’re all wearing masks (except for Kane) and it’s so odd to see them dancing in masks. I mean, I’m glad they’re wearing them, but it just seems like we could have gone without the halftime show this year.
9:21pm I order contacts from Contacts Direct. I got a new prescription but didn’t have a great experience with the eye doctor, so I’m hesitant about this order—only ordered one box of 90 lenses for each eye instead of a year’s worth of lenses. I’ve been getting headaches pretty frequently, so I’m hoping getting a new pair of glasses and alternating those (instead of wearing my contacts for 16 hours a day, every day) will help. $29.98 after insurance benefits
Day 2 Total: $179.62
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Day 3 Friday, November 27
8:56am Wake up super last minute, run to sign onto Slack and then start grinding coffee beans. I’m online and drinking a big mug of coffee by 9:10. (So much for half cups.)
10:45am Come up for air from work and grab the stuff to make a bagel. Everything bagels and plain cream cheese are my go-to combo.
12:03pm I grab a bag of clothes to drop off at the donation bin and a couple library books to return. The library is about a 25 minute walk so it’ll be a nice lunch break diversion.
12:56pm After the library I stop by the grocery store for some paper towels and sponges, since we’re almost out. Total is $22.62, my half is $11.31
1:09pm When I get home I jump back into work and put the USA vs. Netherlands game on my second monitor. By the 75th minute, the US is up by 2 goals so they start putting in some younger players—it’s fun to see Midge Purce and Sophia Smith play! I also throw some bagel bites in the oven for a quick snack and promise myself dinner will be healthier.
4:23pm I zone out of work and start playing Among Us. I end up playing for over two hours. We open a bottle of wine at some point and I get super tipsy.
6:50pm Turn on the tail end of the Notre Dame vs. UNC game. It turns into Jeopardy, which turns into Wheel of Fortune, which I’m not mad about. P isn’t as into the game shows and leaves to microwave a plate of leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner and play video games.
8:40pm Finally getting hungry after my bagel bites and Cheez-Its this afternoon and make a plate of Thanksgiving leftovers—turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans and cauliflower. Yum.
Will and I end up getting in a tiff about the mess in our apartment so we take a break, cool down and talk it through. I watch a couple episodes of Sister Wives and go to bed around 1:30am.
Day 3 Total: $11.31
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Day 4 Saturday, November 28, 2020
10:05am I stayed up late (again) so it’s nice to sleep in. I play Among Us for awhile and have a couple rounds where I’m the impostor and get some great kills and wins. I run out into the living room and celebrate with Will. We laugh because it’s silly how much we love the games we play. Around 10:45 I start making coffee.
11am We desperately need new sheets because our fitted sheet has a huge hole at Will’s feet (and it’s growing). I search a women’s personal finance group I’m in on Facebook for recommendations and we end up buying a queen sheet set from Belk. Total was $100.71 with their sale. $50.35
1pm I was planning on returning a package to the post office today, but forget it closes at 1pm on Saturdays so I decide to run to Target instead. I have a lampshade to return and want to look for a shower caddy as well. I also have an old iPad to return, which Will tells me I can do at Best Buy. He finds an old iPod and flip phone I can take too.
Take the MTA there ($2.75 for a single fare). When I get there, it’s a madhouse and I remember that I have sillily (is this a word?) decided to come on the weekend of Black Friday. I stand in the returns line for about 15 minutes and get $10.89 back, but ditch the idea of trying to look for a shower caddy. The checkout line looks like 100 people long. -$8.14 because of return
Next I go to Best Buy, but who am I kidding—the line to get in the store is even longer than the Target checkout line. I walk back to the subway and get on to go home. $2.75
2:30pm Since Best Buy was a no go, I search for electronic recycling around me on the way home just to see where I could drop off the devices I have. Apparently there’s an EcoATM not too far from my subway stop. It’s more for selling devices, but if they can’t give you money for something, they’ll recycle it, which is exactly what I wanted. I put each of the pieces in the scanner, and end up getting a whopping $2 total (for Will’s old iPod). Still cool because I was just expecting to recycle it all. I’ll give Will the $2.
2:44pm There’s a Dunkin nearby so I pop in to grab a couple donuts ($2.90). There’s a woman outside asking for money, so I give her $5 cash. $7.90
3:00pm Last stop—our favorite deli is nearby and Will mentioned he wanted to get bacon there recently. I get a 1/2 lb and salivate on the way home. This is one of those things I won’t put in Splitwise because it’s small and because it’s fun to get for P as a tiny little present. $3.50
3:45pm Once I’m home I’m super hungry from only eating carbs all morning so I have a snack of carrots, hummus and some pepperoni. I head back out to drop off a bag of clothes and shoes at a drop box a few blocks away. The neighbors are outside at the park near our house so I stop and chat with them for a few minutes. Their kids are the cutest.
6:47pm For dinner I make a ham and cheese sandwich (panini style with rosemary butter) and more carrots and hummus. I put on another episode of Sister Wives. These people are so fascinating to me—first off, I think the husband is completely full of himself. But I’m also so curious about the wives. There are a lot of talking head testimonials where the parents explain that they’re “oppressed” because they’re different and want to go public so the world can see polygamy as a valid family style (I’m only on season 2).
I know they’re probably playing up the “we love our other sister wives and have so much fun together even without Kody” aspect because people expect sister wives to be catty and hate each other, but I can’t help but wonder why they need to be in plural marriage to get the same friendship they seem to value so much. I also doubt they’d extend the same grace and tolerance they want to people who are “different” because they’re LGBTQ, or “different” because they’re in an open relationship or marriage.
9:15pm I mix together oatmeal chocolate chip cookie batter and put some cookies in the oven. While I’m waiting, I browse Zocdoc for well-reviewed providers—I want to make a podiatrist appointment for a lingering toe issue and an audiologist appointment for a routine hearing screening. I got the idea to make these appointments since I’ll hit my out-of-pocket max with the hospital visit, making them free or very discounted. I make two appointments for next week.
I also lust over a Farm Rio puffer jacket that feels overpriced but I just love. Maybe I’ll buy it tomorrow since they’re having a 30% off sale.
Day 4 Total: $64.50
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Day 5 Sunday, November 29
8:58am Wake up and switch between scrolling on Reddit and playing a few Among Us games. After a bit Will gets out of bed and makes coffee for us.
9:45am Will finishes the movie he started last night and we start on breakfast. We’re making the bacon I bought yesterday, breakfast potatoes with onions, and a fried egg for Will (I can’t stand the taste or smell).
11:00am Yum! Breakfast was great. I watch a couple episodes of Sister Wives and mull over buying that ridiculous but amazing puffer jacket from Farm Rio. I’ve still been thinking about it since last night and I might take the plunge.
1:25pm I get a jolt of motivation to work out and do a 20 minute Sydney Cummings video on Youtube. I heard about it from a recent Money Diary posted here! After it’s done I’m so, so tired. I stretch and unpause my episode of Sister Wives.
2:22pm I help Will move the butcher block slab for his desk out to our backyard. We live on the first floor of a single-family home that was converted into apartments, so we get the backyard too—it’s awesome to have outdoor space in the city. P works on sanding it and applying poly for the next couple hours.
5:07pm Will suggests pizza for dinner and I am always, always down for pizza. I order pickup from the spot down the street—one grandma, one cheese and 2 orders of garlic knots come to $38.60. We’ll have leftovers for tomorrow too. $19.30
5:50pm We pick up the pizza and dig in. While we’re eating we turn on the Chiefs vs. Buccaneers game; Will has a few players on his fantasy team in this game.
6:57pm I sign up to write letters to Georgia residents encouraging them to vote in the Senate runoff elections in January. This is through Vote Forward—I did 20 letters for the general election in November and want to participate again. I’ll print the letters at a local coffee shop since we don’t have a printer at home.
Will sends me this Reddit comment about campaign finance since we’ve been talking about it recently. I decide I’m convinced by the argument and set up a $5 monthly donation to Brand New Congress. $5
8:19pm After texting back and forth with my friend all day, I buy the puffer jacket—so excited. She encouraged me to get it and is pumped for me too. $228.64
I also notice my paycheck has started processing in my checking account (I get paid tomorrow), so I enter the amount in YNAB and budget it all. I earmark about $1500 to go into my brokerage account tomorrow. I won’t include it here as “spending” since it’s included in the overview section above.
Day 5 Total: $252.94
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Day 6 Monday, November 30
8:43am Wake up and turn on my Slack. Will started the coffee process and I finish it up by pouring the water into our Chemex and letting it steep (I know there’s a coffee-centric word for this...).
8:56am I check my Citi card and my YouTube TV trial rolled over—I was going to cancel it this morning, which I thought was the last day. I email support to see if they’ll refund me, because (I promise I’m not just saying this!) I did have a pretty bad experience. The Roku app was glitchy for us every time we watched something. Maybe they’ll feel nice today! $64.99
9:35am After responding to a few work messages, I run out the door to the post office to avoid a long package line. I did the Warby Parker 5-day home try on and have to return my box of glasses today. I found a pair I really like and am excited to get in the habit of wearing glasses again, instead of just my contacts.
Thankfully the line is only a few people long. The employees are also super nice every time I go, so I try to be really pleasant too. The lines are usually long and I’ve seen more than one adult have a fit at this post office. It’s rainy today and I couldn’t find our umbrella, so my flimsy rain jacket gets pretty soaked through on the walk back.
11:35am My podiatrist appointment is supposed to be tomorrow morning, and they call me to tell me since I haven’t hit my deductible, I’ll have to pay out of pocket for the visit. I explain that I’m 100% going to hit my deductible, the claims from the hospital just haven’t processed yet. I ask her to bill my insurance first for the visit, then I can pay whatever ends up not being covered (if anything). She agrees!
Maybe this is standard, but I’ve never had it happen before—even if I haven’t hit my deductible, I’ve always been to offices that bill insurance first, then I pay the remaining balance.
1:05pm Lots of meetings today. I break for lunch and heat up the braised chicken with veggies. It’s definitely on its last good day, so I’m glad I used it up. Still yummy!
2:20pm Woohoo! Get an email that my YouTube TV charge was refunded. -$64.99
Will ran to Home Depot today to buy some tools for his desk and also got a shower curtain liner since ours is ripping. I go to put it up in the bathroom but my arms are so sore—like I got my flu shot type of sore.
5:05pm Sign off work after trying to wrangle a supremely frustrating SQL query. I don’t get it but figure I can ask our analyst team for help tomorrow. Will will have a late night working, so pizza and Sister Wives is in my near future.
While watching, I update YNAB to reflect the end-of-month balances for my investment accounts. I get a huge dopamine hit by seeing my net worth number go up. I’m also anticipating it going down a bit next month because of my medical bills, so I relish the moment.
8:09pm It suddenly dawns on me that my arms are sore because I worked out yesterday. It’s so rare now that I literally forget when I do it. Ha!
9:15pm We watch the Eagles vs. Seahawks game and I absentmindedly play Among Us. I end up getting ...bullied by a person playing it? They get mad that I figured out they were the imposter and start saying all these schoolyard-type digs throughout the next couple rounds, but level 100 of cruel.
I’m embarrassed by how sad it makes me but think maybe it’s a good thing I don’t immediately know what to say to bully people back. Such a weird experience. I end up going to bed around 11:30.
Day 6 Total: $0
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Day 7 December 1, 2020
7:07am Wake up late for my alarm at 7. I’m up a lot earlier today because my podiatrist appointment is first thing. I get dressed in the dark, kiss P goodbye, grab my water bottle and run out the door to the subway by 7:30. $2.75
8:10am Get to my stop and swing by Starbucks before the appointment. I get a vanilla latte and the bacon cheddar and egg sandwich. Total is around $10 but I have a gift card loaded onto my Starbucks app.
My spending here went way down when I switched jobs to an office not close to a Starbucks, and then stopped going into an office at all.
8:30am My appointment goes great, if a little painful when she numbs my toe. I had to get an ingrown toenail removed. I danced ballet and pointe for years so I’m (unfortunately) used to them, but this one was terrible. The doctor and I bond over both being dancers with bad feet and they schedule me for a follow up two weeks out.
She actually says there’s been a rise in these procedures because people aren’t getting pedicures since the pandemic and aren’t cutting their toenails well! Wild.
I look silly on the subway in December wearing Birkenstocks and socks with a huge toe bandage. It looks like one of those cartoon characters who stubs their toe and it becomes 10x bigger than their other toes. $2.75
9:40am I get off at the stop before mine to stop at Rite Aid. I grab Neosporin, band-aids and epsom salt and check my notes for anything else she mentioned about caring for my toe. $12.97
10:00am When I get home, I hop into work and working with our engineers on a promotion for the New Year. I also catch up with Will since he stayed up late last night and I got up early for my appointment. He says he ended up staying up until 3:30am (!!) cleaning up his tools, working on his desk and putting up the shower curtain. I’m floored that he is functional right now after waking up at 8.
12:15pm Heat up the last of the pizza for lunch, along with hummus and carrots.
5:20pm Work is average-paced for the rest of the day. Not doing nothing, not totally over my head. Will puts in potatoes for baked potatoes to have later, which we’ll pair with a salad. We’re getting close to needing a grocery run again, so the meals are becoming more of a mishmash.
We listed a couple things on our local Buy Nothing group last week, so a woman comes by to pick up a wifi router we can’t use anymore. Would totally recommend looking up if there’s a group in your area—they’re usually on Facebook.
6:30pm After dinner I watch more Sister Wives and look up RIP Medical Debt, a nonprofit one of my friends shared for Giving Tuesday. They buy unpaid medical debt from collections, so $1 ends up paying off $100 of someone’s medical debt. I give $50 to the Arkansas campaign, which will clear $5,000 of medical debt.
As Will said earlier today, “medical billing in America is a racket” so I really hope this helps clear a burden from an individual or family. Doing this reminds me to check my insurance portal, which is steadily going up as each separate claim comes in. Ahhhh, modern healthcare! $51.49
At the end of each day please tally up your daily expenses. Then at the end of your diary please tally up all expenses in the following categories:
Total: $719.33

• Grocery + Dining Out: $157.77
• Fun + Entertainment: $0
• Home + Health: $164.67
• Clothes + Beauty: $228.64
• Transportation: $11.00
• Gifts + Giving: $157.25

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Reflection This week felt like a big spending week for me. I checked YNAB and since January, I’ve spent about $1600 per month, not including rent—so about $400/week. That’s why this week’s $719 feels so high!
Writing this diary helped me understand how many things I have going for me. I’ve recently been in a huge funk—about my health, my performance at work and my relationships with family, friends and P. Going to the hospital, needing physical therapy to have sex and being in a pandemic will do that to you.
I was able to zoom out a bit and understand how stable and gratifying my life is. That being said, I’m so glad this community exists. I really love it and learning about all your spending and saving habits. Thanks for being here and sharing :)

Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: $25,000; I didn’t start contributing until last year. I got out of grad school end of 2017, and once I got my first job I focused on saving up a good emergency fund since I live in such a HCOL city.
Savings account balance: $25,000; $20K emergency fund, $5K for car down payment (I’ll be making this purchase soon)
Checking account balance: $1,300; I try to only keep bill money in there + $500 buffer, payday is in a few days so this is low
HSA balance: $3,600; Since I chose the HSA plan at work, my company fills it up to the deductible every year. This is my money to keep, and this has been racking up after a few years of low medical expenses. It came in handy when I had to have surgery this year, I was able to pay exclusively from this account.
Credit card debt: none, I pay balances off each month
Student loan debt: $20,000; This is all from undergrad tuition: my living expenses were paid by working and some help from my parents, my grad school was paid with fellowships. Payments have been suspended during COVID. My original plan was to pay it off this year, but COVID and everything else has made me rethink that. Instead, I’ve decided to put money toward moving (with rent prices down I was able to move to a much nicer place for only a little more) and putting a hefty down payment on a reasonably priced car. With help of my bonus and tax refund I can definitely clear my debt in 2021, but I’ll wait until we know more about what Biden plans to do about student debt.
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Section Two: Income
Income Progression:
• During college: $10K-13K a year; this was through various part time jobs in retail + working at a lab at my university later in college. It wasn’t much but it paid for my living expenses. I’m really glad I worked in college, although I wish maybe I had worked a little less so I could have more of a social life. Regardless it set me up to be a lot more independent than most of my peers
• Grad school: $30K a year stipend; Right after college I went straight into grad school to get a PhD in biomedical science. Programs in this field usually cover tuition and provide a stipend since you’re working in the lab of your advisor. Tip for anyone looking at getting a PhD in this field: if a school offers you admission but won’t cover tuition and stipend through research or teaching assistantships, DON’T DO IT. It’s a red flag, plus you’re better off minimizing debt if you want to stay in academia.
• First job in biotech: $97K salary + up to 10% bonus; Once I graduated, I got a job at a biotech company on the peninsula. I didn’t negotiate because I didn’t know that I had any leverage to since I was just coming out of school. Turns out negotiating really isn’t part of the company culture and people really are paid the same market rate for the same work within the company so it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Typically get a 5% cost of living raise every year.
• Promotion early this year: $123K salary + up to 10% bonus; this was something that was expected, my boss and I had been in discussions about my work
• Unexpected raise: $135K salary + up to 10% bonus; Recently got an unexpected pay raise, I suspect this was pre-emptive since I’ve recently picked up extra work that makes me more marketable. I probably would have asked for this eventually, but they beat me to it. My company works really hard to make sure people feel well-compensated and appreciated, which really helps when the workload gets stressful.
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Main Job Monthly Take Home:
Deductions:
• Roth 401K: $1,125 a month (10% gross salary)
• Medical/dental: covered 100% by work.
Monthly take home after deductions: $6,300
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Section Three: Expenses
Rent: $2,900; I live alone in a one bedroom apartment with my cat. Moved from a studio this summer, I would never had been able to get a place this nice (nice building, remodeled kitchen+bathroom) without the COVID rent drops.
Renters insurance: $15
Savings contribution: $1000 a month at least. Right now that goes towards a car down payment. After that, it’ll be split to extra debt repayment (to pay student loan faster) and short terms savings like for vacations.
Student loan: $300 a month (suspended due to COVID)
Donations: $175 a month; Split amongst food banks, KQED, ACLU, and planned parenthood. Every time I get a raise I pick up a new donation. I also gave about $2K this year in ad hoc donations.
Electric: ~$35 a month. Steam heat (radiator) is free in my building so this doesn’t fluctuate in winter.
Wifi: ~$35 a month
Cellphone: $110; includes iphone payment that ends in a year
Subscriptions: $50; Netflix, hulu, amazon prime, hbo max (I really should cut on of these)
Car insurance: $100; Two years ago I gave my car back to my family for my brother to use after I moved to SF, but I still came back and drove it enough for me to need to keep my own insurance on it just in case. When I buy the new car it’ll get transferred to that one.
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Day One (Monday)
8:00 a.m. — My alarm goes off, and I’m technically awake but still so tired. I cuddle with the cat and catch up on youtube for a while before I get up and make some tea.
9:00 a.m. — I settle in the start the day: mostly just triaging emails and dealing with some small tasks so I can get them off the list. I’ve been working from home since March; I work in data analysis, so my computer is my lab. For the most part it’s been pretty successful, but sometimes I fall for the lure to work in my pajamas. After about an hour of work I quickly shower and get ready for my first meeting.
12:00 p.m. — My meetings are done so I heat up lunch- today its pasta leftovers from last night, along with a coke. I spend the break watching a West Wing episode, I’ve been bingeing recently and I’m almost done!
2:30 p.m. — I hit a lull in work, so I get my bags and mask and walk to the grocery store. The best part of working from home is being able to go do errands on off hours, especially now that we’re all trying to avoid crowds. I listen to podcasts on the way over: this time I’m catching up on the Wall Street Journal Money Briefing.
2:45 p.m. — I buy my groceries for the week: ingredients for chopped salads, a few snacks, and a few frozen meals. Since I have a lot of leftover pasta to eat, I don’t need as many things as I usually do, so I use the opportunity to stock up on a few staples. You have to think ahead when you have to carry everything home every week! $48.76
3:30 p.m. — I get home an put everything away. I eat a lacey cookie and make sparkling water out of my sodastream while I settle back into work. Right now I’m doing all the prep for a big analysis coming up soon, so it’s a lighter week. Once that data comes in, I’ll be working like crazy.
6:00 p.m. — Done for the day! I decompress and play silly games on my phone, then get up to make dinner while I watch more West Wing on my iPad. Tonight’s dinner is chopped salad with romaine, cucumber, tomato, green apple, bacon, blue cheese, avocado, and balsamic dressing. I only need part of the green apple for the salad so I slice the rest to eat on the side. I also crack open a shandy to have with dinner.
8:00 p.m. — My period is coming and I have a hankering for sweets. I warm up a slice of pancake bread I got today and try a little bit of the peppermint bark liqueur I found this weekend. This combo is everything!
9:30 p.m. — I’m trying to go to bed earlier so I turn off the TV, settle into pajamas, and read before bed while cuddling with the cat. Right now I’m reading Dying: A memoir by Cory Taylor. I turn out the lights at 10 and listen to the Dear Hank & John podcast on a sleep timer.
Day One total: $48.76
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Day Two (Tuesday)
7:30 a.m. — Even though I went to bed relatively early I still wake up exhausted. I hit the snooze button a few times before getting up, making tea, and getting ready.
11:00 a.m. — Done with morning meetings so I take an early lunch, more leftover pasta. I also clean up around the house for a little while, it’s hard for me to concentrate in a messy environment.
2:00 p.m. — Feeling sluggish so I make another cup of tea before my last meeting.
3:30 p.m. — My meeting is over, so I take a minute to take care of some life admin before I get back to work. I write out my rent check, drop it off in the office downstairs, and send my mom a link to an immersion blender since she wants to know what I want for Christmas. I see Naturalizer is having a 50% off sale on boots so I buy 2 pairs. My boots wore out last season and I still haven’t replaced them. I also set up a monthly donation for the Oakland food bank (see monthly expenses). I recently got a raise and want to up my donations. Since I already give to SF food bank I thought I’d spread the love. $107.43
6:00 p.m. — The last thing I need to do for work today requires running some code for a while, so I start that before making dinner. Tonight it’s another chopped salad and some sparkling water. I eat while watching more West Wing.
8:00 p.m. — Pre-period cravings are kicking my ass (or at least that’s my excuse). I have another slice of pancake bread and some tea while browsing NPR’s 2020 book concierge and tagging books on my libby account. I also text my boyfriend for a while and we make plans to hang out later this week (standard COVID note: he also lives alone/WFH and we live in walking distance to each other, so we consider ourselves one bubble).
10:30 p.m. — I get ready for bed and read more of my book. Light’s out by 11.
Day Two total: 107.43
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Day Three (Wednesday)
7:30 a.m. — My alarm goes off, and the cat jumps into bed immediately for cuddles. We hang out for a few minutes then I get up, make tea, and start getting ready for the day.
9:00 a.m. — I start work, this morning it’s a bunch of code to review. Queue staring at my screens for three hours.
12:00 p.m. — Lunchtime! More leftover pasta, I’m getting bored of these leftovers but I don’t want to waste food. I have that and some more sparkling water.
1:00 p.m. — I recently got a new ipad, and I need to drop off the old one at Fedex to get the trade-in credit. I walk over to drop it off and enjoy the fresh air. On the way back I order a peppermint mocha from Starbucks on the mobile app. I try to order from the million independent coffee shops near my house most of the year, but the holiday drinks bring me back to Starbucks every time. During the walk I listen to podcast about Biden's cabinet picks with some interesting discussion about foreign policy. I don't know enough to have a strong opinion yet, but I would like to learn more! $5.50
4:00 p.m. — I just spent a good chunk of my afternoon talking with so many people just to make a small update to code. So frustrating! I'm tempted to make a drink to have while I finish work, but I resist and just have more sparkling water.
4:30 p.m. — I get a call from the medical center I got a procedure from last month. They said they sent me a statement, but they somehow not only got my street number wrong but also the zip code. I pay the $140 bill using money in my HSA (that's money put in by my company, so I don't count as an expense).
6:00 p.m. — I just spend way too much time ironing out another issue, I’ve earned my drink. I crack open a beer and make another chopped salad for dinner. Tonight I’m drinking a Baked Hawaii pastry stout from Temascal brewing. It’s absolutely delicious, but halfway through drinking the can I realize it’s 11% ABV!! Tonight just got interesting.
9:00 p.m. — Turns out drunk at home me isn’t that interesting: I spend the night watching West Wing and texting a friend. I’m in bed by 11ish.
Day three total: $5.50
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Day Four (Thursday)
7:30 a.m. — I get up and make tea like I always do. I decide to actually get ready properly with makeup and jewelry today so that’s new.
9:00 a.m. — Start work, this morning I’m working on an internal presentation.
11:00 a.m. — I prep an apple and peanut butter for a snack.
12:00 p.m. — I heat up the last of leftover pasta for lunch. Good, I’m really getting sick of it.
1:00 p.m. — I sit down for my meeting. I present the first half, then spend second half munching on a few sour jellybeans I had left from last week.
3:00 p.m. — I make more tea and move to the couch to finish up my workday. I also customize my imperfect produce order for next week. I don't actually get a ton of produce from them, but I really like some of their meat and dairy options. I get apples, oranges, kiwi, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, avocados, bread, salmon, chicken breast, bacon, snack cheese, and some peppermint chocolate covered pretzels. That, plus my hello fresh coming next week, will be most of my food a few weeks. Those will get charged to my account next week when they’re delivered. I try to spend $250 a month of groceries, but craft beer and fun cheese sometimes make me go over.
5:30 p.m. — I’m sick of working, so I get changed out of sweats into decent clothes and walk over to my boyfriend’s place. I stop by the market on the way over to buy tea and a can of water chestnuts (the only other thing I need for meals next week). $7.58
6:00 p.m. — I get to my boyfriend’s place just as the food delivery arrives, I get chicken tikka masala, rice, and garlic naan. I only eat half so the rest is saved for leftovers. We split a stone espresso stout and talk. Since vaccine schedules look so good and cancellation policies are great, it makes sense to consider booking a trip to Hawaii for late summer. We agree to think about it and pull the trigger before Christmas. $25 for Indian food
7:00 p.m. — I’m not a fan of the stout so I open up a cider. We settle in and watch TV
9:45 p.m. — Technically we're under a 10pm curfew, although I can't really figure out what that means this time. I'm tired anyway, so I say goodbye to my boyfriend and walk home. No one is out, so I walk home with my mask off. Something about being in nice clothes and without a mask on hits harder than it probably should. I miss normal city life so much. Just as I think that a big-ass raccoon pops up walking on the next block, which ironically never happened to me in normal city life even though it totally sounds like it would. Luckily the raccoon is more scared of me than I am of it, and I make it home in one piece.
10:30 p.m. — I make a cup of decaf tea and settle into bed. I decide to start a new book Survivor Song, I find zombie-ish apocalyptic books oddly comforting right now (finished Severance by Ling Ma a few weeks ago). This one is about a rabies-like disease, really glad that raccoon ran away earlier.
3:00 a.m. — Oops, got so engrossed with the book I stay up incredibly late to read the whole thing in one sitting. I reset my alarm to 9. WFH for my company has its perks!
Day four total: $32.58
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Day Five (Friday)
10:30 a.m. — I accidentally sleep through the alarm and wake up in a panic. It isn't the end of the world, but I still go straight to my laptop while still in pajamas and start work. There was a mini crisis early this morning that luckily I wouldn't have been much help in, but I spend the rest of the morning dealing with that and various other fires.
12:00 p.m. — I shower and get dressed. Lunch today is frozen lamb vindaloo for lunch and a coke to try and perk me up.
1:00 p.m. — I’m still predictably exhausted, so I make some tea and try to power through a task before a meeting.
3:00 p.m. —More tea and a lacey cookie before meeting.
6:00 p.m. —I still have more work to do but I'm drained, so I call it a night. I heat up last night's Indian food, grab some more sparkling water and catch up on youtube to decompress.
8:00 p.m. —I clean up a little round the house while I watch the new Grey’s Anatomy. I can’t believe I’m still watching this show.
11:00 p.m. — Watched more West Wing while curled up on the couch. I head to bed; I want to get up at a decent time.
Day five total: $0
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Day Six (Saturday)
8:00 a.m. — My alarm goes off. I stay in bed browsing the internet on my iPad.
9:00 a.m. — I get up, make some tea and prep breakfast. Today I try the pumpkin chocolate chip pancakes from Damn Delicious. My resolution this year was to make 50 new recipes and I’m on track to make it! These pancakes are fantastic, I’ll definitely make them again. I pack up the leftovers to bring to my boyfriend’s house later.
10:00 a.m. — I settle in on the couch and spend the rest of the morning playing games on my ipad and listening to podcasts.
12:30 p.m. — I jump in the shower and get ready. I’m training for when we’re back in real society again, so I actually do my hair and makeup today. Today I play with eyeshadow and do a purple smokey eye. My boyfriend texts to say that he already ate lunch so I heat up frozen lamb vindaloo for lunch.
1:30 p.m. — Time to head to my boyfriend’s house. I pack up my overnight bag and the pancakes, put my boots on, and head out. I drop my stuff off at my boyfriend’s house and we head out to walk around the city. We started doing this when the pandemic started, it’s a great way to spend the afternoon. On the walk I finally see the parrots of Telegraph hill, although we aren’t at telegraph hill. They’re really cute, but so loud, I’m glad I don’t live closer to them!
3:00 p.m. —We stop by a place to get Irish coffee but the line is massive (this is the last weekend of outdoor dining, so everyone is out). I don't want to wait in line, so we keep walking to find somewhere else to go.
3:30 p.m. — We see a Mexican restaurant and decide to stop for snacks and drinks. As a bonus the tables are really spaced out and there aren’t a ton of people seated. We want to help businesses out and enjoy a last weekend being able to eat outside, but it seems counterproductive to eat at a crowded place. We get 2 margaritas each and split some appetizers, making sure to tip extra. $51.26
5:30 p.m. — As we walk back towards my boyfriend’s apartment, we see that the cocktail bar he really wanted to try has a ton of tables available. We pick a table far away from the others and have 2 more cocktails each. I also get some garlic shrimp noodles. We each tip extra here too. $66.71
7:00 p.m. — We trudge up the hill and head to my boyfriend’s apartment. I buy some snacks and a la croix at a corner store on the way. $7.00
7:15 p.m. — We spend the rest of evening watching TV and sobering up. We end up going to bed pretty early, around 10.
Day six total: $124.97
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Day Seven (Sunday)
9:00 a.m. — I wake up and laze around in bed for a while. After I get up we eat the leftover pancakes and I help my boyfriend with some chores that require 2 people (there are a few disadvantages to living alone).
11:00 a.m. — I gather my things and walk home. Once I’m there I drop off my things, and head straight back out to grab a few items. I’m out of body wash so I walk to Walgreens to buy that and a soda. On the way home I realize I don’t have any food for today (Hello Fresh is coming tomorrow), so I pop into the deli and get a sandwich and some chips. The sandwiches are huge so it’s enough food for lunch and dinner. $27.20
3:00 p.m. — The rest of day is spent alternating between cleaning and hanging out on the couch. I look at my email to see that Aerie is doing 10 for $35 on underwear, so I fill up my cart with 10 pairs + a swimsuit and sweater. I haven’t bought any clothes this year, but now things are starting to wear out so I need to replace things all at once. $89.47
7:00 p.m. — I toast up the other half of my sandwich. I spend the rest of the evening reading and watching TV, I’m in bed by 11.
Day seven total: $116.67
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Total for week: $435.91
Grocery + Dining Out: $239.01
Fun + Entertainment: $0
Home + Health: $10
Clothes + Beauty: $196.90
Transportation: $0
Lastly, reflect on your diary: This definitely was a more expensive week than normal. I’ve been delaying buying clothing for a long time, so I finally have started to catch up. I tend to do that after I get a raise. This was also the last week of outdoor dining for SF so I used this as an excuse to eat out more, I feel so bad for all the workers about to get laid off again.
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Have a happy and safe holidays everyone!
(Edited because I found a few typos I missed when I proofread, so embarrassing! TA me from 4 years ago would be so ashamed haha)

Preface: I previously did an MD here. Since then my boyfriend J has moved in due to COVID19 and it’s been a huge blessing. He couldn’t get out of his rental contract so it wasn’t until a couple of months ago that he started contributing to my mortgage.

Section One: Assets and Debt

Retirement Balance: ~£13200 from just my contribution (~9% salary sacrifice), company contributes ~20%. Defined Benefit Scheme. I also contribute 1% extra to an investment portfolio managed by the pensions scheme.
Equity: £72000 based on last valuation (160k) on my apartment. Down-payment+legal fees £37,300. Had to have at least 25% of value as down payment due to me being a foreigner: £3000 savings, £13,000 from bond maturation and stocks sold, rest was a loan from my parents. Mortgage is for another 23 years at 1.19% (tracker so variable rate), still owe £87100.
Savings and checkings accounts See my previous MD for the weird situation I have re: time salary insurance (will get back USD 34,000 in 2023 to pay back the loan my parents lent me for the apartment) and health insurance. I’ve also finally closed down my US bank account and used some of that money to cover my weird health insurance-cum-savings account and bought a couple more stocks.
Regular savers (yearly maturation, 2.75%): £1000, I put in £250 (max I could) every month. This usually covers my yearly health insurance-cum-savings account.
Rainy day Easy Access (rolling, 0.46%): £540, I’ve set a rule to automatically put in £5 every week.
Easy access savings (0.7% soon to drop to 0.5%): £6200
S&S ISA: £2300 in one S&S ISA that I’m waiting to be able to pull out without COVID-penalty and consolidate with my Vanguard account. £1800 in Vanguard (I put in £200 a month split between different funds).
Checking accounts: £1275.96
Stocks and shares: ~£12,000 in stocks from Nordic companies. Had to buy a few more stocks to get my portfolio over £10,000 to avoid bank charges, hence the increase in value from last MD! The stocks I picked all pay relatively good dividends (>2%) and are big reliable companies so I see it almost like a passive savings.
Foreign checking accounts: ~£5700
Credit card debt: -£361.73 – I usually use my credit card for small purchases and clear my balance every month. There are a few purchases here that were for my friends as presents or pick-me-ups.
Student loan debt: none – parents supported my undergraduate degree (around £75,000 total including living costs, this is why I always feel guilty for not earning enough to pay them back...). I got a full scholarship and stipend for my PhD
Anything else that's applicable to you: I grew up not knowing much about finances except that “saving is good”. Parents also don’t have retirement income so I’m working on moving them close to me (instead of a 10+ hour flight away) so I can take care of them soon. Also, during the course of this MD I was reminded I have a crypto account! So that’s about €1000 with the current value…

Section Two: Income

Income progression Pre-2009: I wasn’t allowed a real part time job (it’s quite unusual in my culture growing up), but I did earn some extra money through freelance translation gigs (texts, news articles, brochures), probably average on £500 a year?
2009-2013: I was awarded a full PhD scholarship – I read a previous MD from another scientist saying that you should never take up a PhD that doesn’t cover tuition, and I completely agree with that. I was offered another PhD scholarship that pays £15000 a year, but doesn’t cover my foreign student tuition, which would’ve been something like £16,000 a year (a joke as there’s no taught courses for that programme back then). The one I eventually got paid something like £20,000 a year (on top of tuition fees), with increments of around £1,000 every year in line with inflation. This was tax-free due to student status.
2013-2015: Moved to Nordic country with my PhD supervisor. They pay much better but as I still haven’t had my PhD yet I had to pay high taxes too. I don’t quite remember how much I was paid, but it was probably something like USD50,000 a year. I saved so much during this time despite the high taxes and supposed living costs.
2015-2016: Moved to the US for my Postdoc. I was paid USD 43,000 a year which was in line with NIH guidelines back then. My boss relocated and I couldn’t move as my funding was institution-attached, so I moved back to the UK. Just as I moved back the NIH guidelines increased baseline pay to USD 52,000. GAH.
2016-current: Started on £34,000 a year, with yearly increments of what used to be around 4% (until COVID hit). I’m going in for a promotion early next year which, if approved, will take me up to £42,000. Wish me luck!!!
I would say my income progression is very odd, as I seem to take a pay cut every move. A huge reason is that I moved not for the pay but for the science, and fingers crossed it will pay off the next couple of years and I will finally become a lab head…
Main Job Monthly Take Home: £2264 (after NI, pension, and tax)
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: I wish I have the time…

Section Three: Expenses

NOTE: I’ve put down the total expenses, and where J pays half I indicate accordingly. Anything to do with the apartment (i.e. mortgage, property management, ground rent) I didn’t charge him until he’s officially finished his own rental contract. He tried to get out of it early but his estate agents wouldn’t let him, so essentially he paid £950 a month (plus council tax) for an empty apartment for 6 months…boo!
Mortgage: £700 (J pays half, currently overpaying by £325; before he moved in I overpay by £150) Property management: £136 (J pays half) Home insurance: £25 Savings contribution: £250 to Regular saver account Investment contribution: £200 to Vanguard Debt payments: N/A Donations: Volunteer my time instead. Usually around 3 hours a month to various things, a lot is to do with mentoring and helping underprivileged students. Although I've been making a few donations to food banks recently, totalling around £50. Electric: £94 (J pays half – it has massively increased as he works from home) Wifi/Cable/Landline: £25 (J pays half) Water: £32 (J pays half) Ground rent: £20 (J pays half) Council tax: Used to be £84 as a single person, now we pay £112 (J pays half) Cellphone: £15
Subscriptions Audible: £8 Netflix: £0 (J pays for this) DisneyPlus: £0 for 6 months, came with my mobile contract. I plan to watch WandaVision and as soon as I’ve finished it I will stop the subscription. HelloFresh: this is dependent on the month, usually around £50 (J pays half) Beer52: again, dependent on month, on average I get a box every two months so around £14/month Ocado membership: £1.49 (this is a online grocery delivery service) Amazon Prime: £8 Dropbox: £8 Contact lenses: £35 (I use dailies) Health insurance: £30 Dental insurance: £20 TV license: £13.20 (J pays half) Bokksu: £23 – this is a relatively expensive subscription I picked up during lockdown, but the Japanese snacks they sent are soooooo tasty (even if expensive), and I thought I should treat myself when lockdown happened.

Diary

Day 1 6.30am Snooze. I couldn’t sleep last night but I really need to hold myself accountable and stop snoozing…
6.50am Right, I’m up! Skim news, shower, plan (or rather, attempt to) my week, meditate, journal, then pack my bags. J makes me a coffee.
8.45am Where did all the time go!? Was planning to get into work for 9am but got distracted by my dying basil plant. The leaves are going brown ever since I moved it into a bigger pot so I spent quite a bit of time loosening up the roots. I hope I’ve not killed it.
9.20am Arrived at work, as usual I cycled. It’s cold but I’m just glad it’s not raining!
9.30am Had a quick catch up with colleagues, and then it’s Microscope time. It’s a little odd calling them colleagues as they’re more like friends, but we’re also all professionals so…frienleagues?
Noon 2.5 hours in a dark room and after taking multiple images, I decided to call it a session. Lunch was roasted carrot soup that I brought in, and some crackers. Back into labs to do some more experiments that involves bacteria and transformation... Spend: £0
1pm I put in my earphones for two meetings, whilst in tissue culture – that’s one great thing that came out during lockdown, online meetings! I can still listen in and contribute when needs be, but at the same time my hands are spared for more experiments!
2.30pm Random call which turned out to be from the dentist telling me there’s a space in the endodontist appointment diary. I had emergency dental work done during lockdown back in May, but when I went last week they told me unfortunately they don’t have the expertise to salvage it properly on the NHS, and recommended going private. I trust their recommendation, but it’s an eye-watering £500…yikes. Dental insurance will cover £145 of this. I wish I’d taken better care of my teeth when I was young. Also prompted me to make a claim for last week’s NHS dental fees, which was a paltry £39 in comparison. Still, every little helps! Spend: £500
3pm Started another experiment with another colleague/friend. I’m glad she’s helping out as it’s a mammoth task! We’re carrying out my big idea experiment and aiming to get all the data collected before Christmas, fingers crossed everything will go smoothly (it probably won’t. Biology is fickle like that).
5.30pm Friend waved me goodbye as that portion of the big experiment is done, now it’s just me alone. I put on Casefile (for some reason listening to true crime helps me focus in labs...) and dealt with remaining maintenance type work.
7.15pm Finally home! Struggled upstairs with my bike and Cloudwater Brewery beers (it was 25% off for university staff this month so I made good use of it) that’s been left in the foyer. J heated up leftovers from last week, and we sat down to the newest episode of The Simpsons, which was decent and almost like an episode from the golden days. Almost. Spend: £0
8.30pm Got a notification of a deal on Amazon on skincare. It’s something I’ll definitely use so I made a purchase. But then remembered my dental costs. Gah. It’s “only” 25% off as well! Ah well, I’ll pretend it’s my Christmas present for myself this year. Spend: £23.40
9pm Back to do a little more work. I’ve managed to set up a larger monitor in my home office so I can write and analyse data better when I’m working from home – I’m trying to prioritise and protect my writing time as I need to get papers out as well as grant applications!
10.45pm As J puts it, “Time for sleeps.”
Total spend: £523.40
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Day 2 6.35am Urgh. No.
7am Ok, I’m scrolling through news and reddit, and had a sneak check of my emails…
7.30am I’m up. Shower, answering messages, scheduling…didn’t meditate, but I will do it today at some point. Coffee, more messages, more news.
8.40am Crap. I need to dash, got a 9am in-person meeting with a PhD student of a collaborator.
9am Just made it. Talked through some experiments with them, and suggested an alternative approach that their advisor wanted to do. Feeling quite accomplished when they came back to me saying that their advisor seemed receptive of my changes later in the day!
10am Labs. Another PhD student needed some guidance. Checked my plates from yesterday and they failed :( back to the drawing board. Wanted to start my experiments for the day, but got an email from a pharma company asking if we would be open to setting up a collaboration. Shot off an email to test the waters with regards to funding available for this type of studies. Meanwhile a few more emails came in that needed instant attention…
11.30am How is it that it’s already 11.30?? Finally started experiment #1, scoffed down leftover pizza for lunch and cracked open a can of instant coffee, then scrambled back into labs for experiment #2 Spend: 0
2pm Grateful that my friend is giving me a hand again today. Taught her how to use a piece of equipment and the analysis software, and she helped me fun a few samples whilst I run between two buildings to juggle between experiment #1 and experiment #2. Did some troubleshooting with the guy who runs the facility as well. I gotta say, I love it when I’m doing my big idea experiment, as I’m working with people that I enjoy spending time and shoot the bantz with!
4.30pm Experiment #2 is finished for the day! I’m hitting 8000 steps already. Came back to my main lab to wrap up experiment #1.
5.30pm Still in labs…
6.30pm Still in labs…but packing up!
6.50pm Got home. J is on a zoom language class, so I sneaked into the kitchen. His parents came by to drop off an old Christmas tree and a homecooked meal, so he’s set up the tree (it’s my first ever Christmas tree in my flat!) and put Psyduck under it with a Christmas hat on. It’s really lovely. I heated up the food and remaining pizza slices, and ate whilst checking reddit.
7.30pm Got a notification that there’s a charge for £35.61 on my card. It’s a recurring subscription for a 5L bottle of body wash that I forgot to delay delivery for. Ah well. Even though we still have about 1/3 of a bottle left it will be used, and I’ve changed the next delivery to July 2021. Spend: £17.61 (J sent me £18)
8.15pm More work. I need to set some exam questions for a lecture I delivered online a month ago.
9.15pm Need some stretches…stretched as I talked to J about potentially doing a PRINCE2 course to get certification that’s good for outside academia, but I really can’t justify spending £1500 on something that sounds like basic common sense and something that I can demonstrate relatively easily using my own experience. Poured myself a small whisky, then back to exam questions.
10.40pm Who am I kidding. Time for bed!
10.50pm Bugger. I forgot to meditate today…
Total spend: £17.61
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Day 3 6.30am It’s cold, and I’m exhausted. Stayed in bed whilst checking emails, news, bank accounts…
7.15am J made me coffee, and I read a Reddit post which reminded me that I actually still have crypto! I bought a bit back in 2017 (put in €550) and did a little fun trading, just before it all crashed, so I saw Bitcoin going from 12000 down to 8000, together with other types of coins like Monero, Litecoin, etc. I decided to leave my coins as they were and stop following the crash, so I was pleasantly surprised that it’s now worth €1000! Not sure what to do though, as I’m not desperate for the money, but it might be nice to cash it out and call it a day.
8.30am Showered, got ready, and finally meditated! Only lasted 5 minutes today. Had a pseudo panic stop when the fear of running out of time (ironic) came up, but I feel like some meditation is better than none. Packed my bags and went into labs.
9am Have a new PhD student starting in the lab, and I will be guiding her. She seems really nice but I felt old finding out that she worked in the same industrial placement as I did, only 12 years later…
11.30am I forget how much longer labs take when you’re also teaching someone. Quickly grabbed instant rice noodles (Itsu satay, they’re AMAZING) and an orange, both brought in from home last week. Spend: £0
12.30pm Meeting with colleague and boss. I think it went well.
1pm More experiments.
4.15pm Finished all my experiments so I went home. The plan was to write and work more from home.
4.40pm Change of plan. I was starving so decided to make food. We still had one meal from our last HelloFresh box so made the vegetarian toastadas.
6.15pm Food was awesome. Decided to take a break before working again.
7.40pm Yep, that break was way longer than expected…although Ocado called and they’re early for my delivery!
8.15pm Finally all the grocery have been put away. We now have a (very) full fridge, and a new bottle of Woodford Reserve Bourbon (it was on sale). Spend: £82 (J paid the other half)
8.35pm Resume working.
9.40pm “Only” achieved a few work emails. Better than nothing I guess. Looked up a couple of my friends at a big Nordic pharma for a colleague in another lab (they wanted to make an industry connection), and promptly went “Fuck me, they’re earning soooooo much more than me, why am I in academia again?”
I choose to do what I do, because I’m motivated by a different purpose. Repeat mantra.
10.15pm Started my evening routine. Received a Facebook message from a friend whose wife died suddenly last week, and was packing up the flat they used to share. It’s a horrible situation and there’s really no words that could be said to make things better. Made a promise that if we get to a stage where bars are reopened before he leaves the country I’ll get him a whisky. My heart really goes out to him. Gave J an extra big squeezy hug, and made him promise that he will never die before me (silly, I know….)
10.28pm Received a message from a colleague asking for help. Laptop reopened. Then my friend in the US texted me. Her boyfriend suddenly broke up with her just after Thanksgiving so lots of talking and support. She really doesn’t deserve this  I got her a care package over the weekend and it’s just arrived, and she said it arrived at the right time as she was feeling particularly lonely. I wish I could give her a physical hug.
11.15pm Switching off mobile network, lights out completely!
Total spend: £82
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Day4 6.30am Alarm. Nope.
7am Switched on my sun lamp. SO DAMN BRIGHT. It did wake me up completely though! Spent a few minutes checking emails and news, catching up on messages that arrived overnight, etc. J brought my coffee.
7.30am Out of bed now. Got ready for work and sent out some emails.
8.20am Was feeling a little overwhelmed by running out of time, so was tempted to just go straight into work without meditation. J told me to keep at it. Made an attempt. Stopped 3 times in the span of 10min but kept at it until there was 90 seconds left. I call that a win, and my brain does feel lighter after, and I feel more grounded. Cycled to work.
9am PhD student arrived, and another long day of experiments!
11.50am Why am I starving…decided to grab my early lunch (leftover stew from home with a thin bagel), then headed back into labs.
4pm I’m actually done in labs! Cycled home. Answered some work emails, and decided to make early dinner as J and I still need to work a bit tonight.
5.15pm Dinner: made Kimchi stew. Yum. I actually did some Kimchi fermentation in the beginning of Lockdown, it was a lot of hassle but it was fun to try!
6.20pm Received a text from my friend that she’s expecting a baby!! Huge news and very excited for them, although it does make me think that time is ticking for me as well…
9.30pm Finished one part of work I’m helping a colleague on, and sent it off. Feeling quite chuffed about it, but then thought about how I should really set aside more time for my own data…ah well.
10.45pm Time for bed. Got an early start tomorrow as it’s one of the big days for my own experiments!
Total spend: £0
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Day 5 6.30am Alarm went off. Actually got up and switched on the sun lamp. Read news and checked emails, and responded to my friends’ messages. My friend from the US had a rough night before, so I tried to cheer her up and tell her that it’s ok to feel sad and be angry, and that she doesn’t need to constantly try and see things from all perspectives (not right now anyway).
7am J brought coffee. I honestly feel really lucky that I have him in my life.
7.30am Ready for work, but I decided to be good and meditated. Almost hit 10minutes today – I used to be good at this but this week had been quite bad. Definitely feel much better after meditation though!
8am Got to work, had a catch up with my colleague who was really excited about the data I sent him yesterday. Went into labs to kick start a hectic day of experiments.
10am My friend arrived to help me out. Meanwhile my PhD student occasionally pops in to ask me questions – I’m lucky that although she’s new, she had extensive experience in the lab so she’s a lot more comfortable about not having me standing over her shoulder!
12.20pm Friend and I took turns taking 15min lunch breaks, so that one of us will carry on with the experiment while the other goes and eats. I had leftover stew and thin bagel again, and downed almost 1L of water.
1pm Samples finally ready for analysis! Went over to the other building and started the second part of the experiment.
3pm We’re a little confused as to why the samples look good on one machine, but very strange on machine 2. Had a long discussion and tested out a few things. Turns out we will need a lot more samples for machine 2 (sales rep lied!), so we set up a plan for the next big experiment to fill in the ‘gap’.
6pm Finally done. Gave one another elbow bumps as a celebration, and went back to our own lab for the very final step of sample processing. I’m really thankful that I have some help with this, as otherwise it would’ve been a lonely existence!
6.45pm Done! Packed samples away, celebrated with another elbow-high-fives and a couple of Collin the Caterpillar sweets with my friend, and biked home in the rain (Urgh).
7pm Got home to the smell of pan-fried fish. We got the M&S £12 for 2 to dine in deal from our Ocado delivery a couple of days ago (one main, one side, one dessert and drinks). So worth it.
8pm J’s work place has an awards ceremony and his team has been nominated for an award! Settled down on the sofa, he’s playing computer games on the side whilst listening/watching the online event. LOL.
9.15pm HIS TEAM WON!!! I’m so proud of him, he’s worked really hard this year and their jobs are very much behind the scenes so it’s easy to overlook them…so I’m really chuffed they finally got their deserved acknowledgement :D
9.45pm I’m absolutely shattered…I think it’s period related, but at the same time (without going TMI) I feel kinda abnormal. Decided to head to bed and just lie there and read on my phone.
11pm Apparently I was completely out of it when J arrived to bed at 11ish.
Total spend: £0
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Day 6 (weekend!) 8am Alarm. Stayed in bed and just chilled and chatted with J.
9.30am Got up, got ready, had coffee. Played some games on my iPad.
10.45am Bike to work.
11am Arrived at work. Had a chit chat with the security guards at the reception (it really pays to be friendly with them!), and headed up to labs.
11.50am Crap. Need to dash to the dentist! I’ve managed to set up 2 experiments, so fingers crossed…
Noon At dentist, went through the history of problem tooth with dentist, and sat down for what turned out to be a loooooong procedure.
1.45pm Finally done!! I actually didn’t feel anything, so the nerves were definitely dead. Also turned out my tooth had 4 root canals instead of the normal 3. I kinda had an inkling, as I do have abnormal teeth (the Edinburgh dental school probably has a record of a full scan of my teeth still floating around in their system, as I was the only case they’ve ever seen who had spare lower incisors and cannines under my permanent teeth). Also remembered to ask for a receipt to claim back a small portion of the £500…as I’ve already paid on the phone for this, today’s spend was £0.
2pm Got to the Chinese supermarket as it was on the way back to labs. Bought a bunch of snacks and noodles. Won’t be asking J for contribution as these are predominantly lab snacks! Spend: £28.68
4pm Done in labs! One experiment didn’t quite work so will need to reprobe next week. Cycled home.
5pm Started cooking. Also started to have a really bad headache. Was almost done but managed to melt a hole in the couscous bag so dry couscous everywhere in the kitchen :( J made me go and take a paracetamol, and finished making couscous. Food was great though, and the new dish I tried was not a failure like I thought!
7.30pm Started an online social I’m hosting with my sports club. We’re playing Among Us, and it’s my first time playing. It’s hilarious.
10.20pm We’re all laughed out at the social so called it a night. I never once made it to be an imposter so I’m a little bummed…next time hopefully!
10.30pm General chit chat with J, but apparently by the time he got back to bed I was out like a light again.
Total spend: £28.68
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Day 7
7.30am J’s alarm went off. He said he needs to work today, but keeps hitting snooze.
8.30am I kicked him out of bed.
9am Weekly Skype call with my parents! They’re getting old (in their 70s) and I feel guilty for being so far away. I’ve been away from home since I was 17, and the older I get the harder it becomes. We have a unique family history as my grandfather left his father as a young man (this was way back when, and due to political reasons they would never see one another, or be allowed to have communication, ever again), and my dad as a result was also brought up by his own grandparents instead of his parents, before also leaving his home country himself. So there had been a lot of ‘leaving home’ in our blood I guess. I recorded our conversation - I’m doing this more often now as I want to remember their words, mannerisms, and voice. They don’t know how to switch on their camera, so although they can see me, I can’t see them :(
11am Finished my conversation, and wandered into the kitchen. J made me coffee. I then refilled our bird feeder and just sat there and watched the birds come and go. We have a lot of different tits (haha), and we joke that we’re getting fat tits (LOL so immature).
Noon Had a chat with J about what baby presents to get his friend. Then went for a shower and got ready to head into labs briefly. Also finally scheduled for a GP phone appointment re: my period related issues for this afternoon.
1pm Labs! A colleague was actually in today, and we had a quick chat. I only had 40min of stuff to do in the labs, so I waved him goodbye and left a snack on his desk.
2pm Home! Supposed to have that GP call but she’s delayed
2.40pm Finally had the phone appointment. She referred me to a specialist and told me to “make sure you get an appointment within the next two weeks”. I guess it might be more serious than I thought. Eek.
3pm Reddit, and iPad game time.
4pm Right. Time for some more work. Finished off the exam question (finally) and sent it to the course coordinator. Hopefully it’s what they wanted.
5.30pm Cooking time! Made some padron peppers (my favourite), and some vegetarian schwarma, together with some leftovers from last night’s meal. Watched an episode of the Simpsons.
7pm Back at my desk. J’s going to have a Zoom catch up with his school friends at 8pm, but I’m really not feeling well so will give it a miss. Going to spend time in the bath instead. Meanwhile I’m going to apply for a promotion at work so I’m working on that documentation to justify how I’m qualified for the promotion. Fingers crossed! Also sent out some work emails and scheduled a meeting with my PhD student tomorrow.
10pm Was planning to take an hour to have a bath, but got so absorbed in doing my application that I forgot…might still take a 30min bath though!
It’s such an odd thing. On the one hand I feel I’m super qualified to be promoted, and yet because I’ve not had the chance of getting in my own funding I feel like I’m a failure, even if I know I’m not. I’ve done so much this year, despite (or maybe even because of?) the COVID situation, so I definitely feel like I’m operating at a higher level and thus do deserve the promotion. Let’s see, fingers crossed…
10.15pm Bath time! Used some really nice smelling bath fizz.
11pm All toasty and warm and sleepy.
Total spend: £0

Tally for the week

Food + Drink: £110.68 Fun / Entertainment: £0 Home + Health: £517.61 Clothes + Beauty: £23.4 Transport: £0 Other: £0

Reflections:

Definitely not a typical week with the last minute dental appointment! I’m looking forward to getting that £145 back from my insurance. Obviously, lockdown have really reduced the Fun/Entertainment expenditure, as I’m used to grabbing a couple of beers with colleagues and friends after work. I did buy a few cheer-me-up or Christmas presents for the friends, but that spending was from the week before so I didn’t record it (it’s reflected in my credit card bills though).
J is still looking to buy a house but we still need to discuss if I should go in on the mortgage application or not. My plan is to convert my mortgage to a buy-to-let mortgage regardless of whether I will go in for the house mortgage or not. Either way, he’ll be responsible for the down-payment for the house.
I still sometimes wonder about my career choice as I see so many of my friends in industry being paid a lot more, especially in the Nordic countries. The only issue I have with my salary is that I really want to be able to support my parents soon, and the thought of that combined with potential child costs panics me. But I know I will be able to deal with whatever needs to be done, even if I feel uncertain and worried now. It’s in my blood.

First, I'm sorry this is so long. Second - please be nice. We have debt, bad habits, and are Catholic. So if any of those things are going to get you spun up, just skip this one.
Section One: Assets and Debt Use this section to explain your current financial picture at large.
Everything here is joint – “M” and I have been married 22 years and we’ve had “smashed money” that whole time (and really for about a year before that).
Retirement Balance (and how you got there): Approximately $500,000 in a variety of IRAs and current 401(k)s.
Equity if you're a homeowner (and how much you put down and how you accumulated that payment). Bought our house in 2001 for $239,000 with 20% down (some aggressive saving and a gift from each of our parents). We refinanced, took some cash out for some home repairs, and reduced it to a 15-year loan in 2009 – our current equity would be about $195,000, but similar homes in the neighborhood are listed at $475,000-$525,000, so if we ever sell, we’re probably coming out ahead.
Savings account balance: $6,000
Checking account balance: $6,500
Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it): I hope you’re sitting down. Approximately $40,000. Yes, you read that right. How we accumulated it? The house is 90 years old and constantly falling apart, so we’ve had to charge things that needed to be done (some we wanted to have done, but some – like the time our oil burner stopped working in December – were needs). We had two dogs with numerous medical issues – I don’t want to calculate what they cost me, but they each had surgeries that were about $5,000 (each), plus other chronic and acute medical issues. And yes…for a while, we were doing and buying things we probably shouldn’t have (not bad things, just vacations, clothes, and non-essential home improvements) So…when I’m 100 and greeting people at Wal-Mart, I’ll at least have some good memories. That said, I can’t tell you the last time I used credit – if we can’t afford to pay cash, we don’t do it (and I say that fully realizing most people would feel that I shouldn’t do anything).
Student loan debt (for what degree): None – my husband went to the military and then to work after high school and I went back to community college later in life and paid as I went.
Anything else that's applicable to you: If my ex-husband dies before me, I’ll have about $6,000 in a money market that he must have forgotten about. When we divorced, he was supposed to liquidate all those accounts and give me half. He was an accountant and a SOB, so I never knew exactly what we had, but what I got seemed accurate (it paid for furniture, my wedding to M and part of this house, so I was OK with it). Lo and behold, a couple years ago, I found out we still have this money market account in both names. I tried to find him so we could liquidate/split it, but he’s missing. I get the statements here now, and the good part is he’s older than me, so I’m holding out hope he predeceases me and it will be mine.
Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I've been working in my field for a year and a half, my starting salary was $100,000. I did a salary story with the entire progression – long story short, I’ve made more, and I’ve made less, but this is probably about the average of the last five years.
My husband has been at his job for 14 years – he started there making around $75,000 and now makes $110,000. They usually give him a $10,000 bonus at the end of the year, but are always crying poverty if people ask for a raise. Prior to that, he worked for a company that paid very well and he had a 15-minute commute, but he got out one step ahead of their bankruptcy.
Main Job Monthly Take Home:
Me: $5,152
J: $6,230
Side Gig Monthly Take Home:
M is paid $1,300/month by our parish for serving as Youth Minister.
Any Other Monthly Income: $16.00
I get quarterly dividends on stock I was given when I was born (I may not have been born into money, but apparently my grandparents had friends who thought this was a good baby gift). The last few were around $50, so I divided by 3.
Section Three: Expenses
Rent / Mortgage / HOA fees (please specify how you split it if living with a partner): $3,043, which includes the property taxes and homeowner's insurance
Savings contribution: $500/month without fail (my bank transfers $100 if we get over $500 in, so once each paycheck and once when we put the church check in). More if I feel the savings needs a boost.
Debt payments:

• Credit card #1: $350/month (this is about twice the minimum)
• Credit card #2: $375/month (minimum payment)
• Credit card #3: $200/month (minimum payment - this is the next one getting whacked when #1 is paid off)

Donations: OK – anyone who isn’t screaming because I owe $40K is going to start now.

• $300/month to the church in the “collection basket” (it’s electronic, but same diff)
• $100/month to the church building fund (last year of a five-year pledge, thankfully – if I hadn’t promised to pay it, I wouldn’t)
• $25/month to Habitat for Humanity
• $20/month to Citymeals on Wheels
• ~$50/month to various other charities
• ~$100/month in food for the church food drive (we don’t have a food pantry, but collect food every week and anyone from the neighborhood can come take some. The rest is donated to several food pantries and soup kitchens in the Diocese).
• As far as volunteer hours, M and I both teach Religious Ed. I'm on the Parish Council and co-social media manager of the parish (basically, I schedule Facebook). M also videotapes the 5:00 Mass and the children’s worship message each week and uploads it to the parish YouTube channel.

Electric: $110
Gas (stove/hot water): $50
Oil: $250/month in the winter
Wifi/Cable: $179
Cellphone: $252 for both of us (I get mine expensed except $26 for my phone payment)
Subscriptions:

• $.99/month for iCloud Storage
• $545/month for life insurance for both of us, plus $202 quarterly for the life insurance policies we took out when we bought the house
• $17/month for NY Times online
• $10.86/month for Ring video doorbell
• $12.99/month for Netflix
• $9.99/month for Spotify (I think M gets reimbursed for this, because he has it for Youth Ministry)
• $119/year for Amazon Prime (yes, I know, I am an awful person)

Car payment / insurance: $295/month for my car (leased). My husband is driving a 10-year old car that is paid off. $128/month for auto insurance
Lawn care: $50/month
Commuting: Now that we’re in COVID times, I’ve been buying a 10-trip off peak railroad ticket every five days for $78.75. Pre-COVID, M and I each bought a monthly ticket for $270, and I took the subway most days for an additional $100/month. I fill up the car about once a month (~$36) and M fills his about every other week (~$70/month)
Saturday, September 26, 2020
7:45 am: Up and at ‘em! I get up, get coffee, check emails and social media and start the day.
8:00 am: M leaves the house for a long list of errands, the payment for which will be shown below. I put in a load of laundry and discover…a leak! There is a large pipe between our powder room sink (which I used when I woke up) and the outside world that runs through the basement and is apparently leaking. Yay whee. If you get one thing from this diary, let it be these words of wisdom – don’t buy an old house! No beautiful feature is worth the aggravation! I get the water (I hope it’s water) cleaned up, a load of laundry in, take a shower, do some picking up around the house, get dressed in a Rangers t-shirt and cut off distressed jeans, do my makeup (Olay microsculpting serum and Miracle Blur over the bottom of my face, pink, gray, and violet eyeshadows, a swipe of foundation under my eyes, black eyeliner, black mascara, and dark brown eye pencil. This is standard everyday makeup for me and will be repeated each day. I put volumizing mousse in my hair and blow dry it (also routine).
In the meantime, M gets a haircut ($30 including tip), sets up the video equipment at church, goes to CVS for passport photos that he needs for an application ($18.87), and goes to the religious goods store for a book of the Liturgy of the Hours ($42.31). He is starting formation for the diaconate (the process of becoming a Deacon in the Catholic Church) today, and they said he’ll need that book. He also needs the photos for his application, and he stops at the bank for two money orders – one to send with the background check request and one for his high school transcript ($26). On the way home, he picks up breakfast (brunch?) for us – classic New York BEC, SPK (bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll with salt, pepper and ketchup) for him and egg whites, turkey and swiss cheese on a whole wheat wrap for me ($10.78), as well as cigs for him and vape cartridges for me ($36).
The washing machine isn’t causing any additional leakage, so I move the wash to the dryer and start moving the winter clothes from the portable closet in front of the leaking pipe upstairs (they’re not wet, but we’re going to have to move the closet when the plumber comes).
After eating the egg sandwiches, we get changed for deacon class – I look like a good church lady in black slacks, a black and white flowered shirt with a black tank underneath, and black sandals with a chunky 2.5” heel. M goes with the classic golf shirt and dockers. While we’re getting changed, he mentions he needs new underwear, so I whip out the phone and order him some ($18.64).
6:30 pm: Home from deacon class and Mass and the groceries show up! I ordered them yesterday, but I don’t think the charge went through till today, so here goes. Asparagus, broccoli, celery, bananas, cucumber, lime, grape tomatoes, peaches, carrots, potatoes, spinach, lettuce, zucchini, frozen burgers, ground turkey, chicken breasts, whole chicken, fried chicken and a pot pie for J’s lunches, yogurt, sugar free pumpkin spice creamer (YES! I’ve been looking for it for weeks!), milk, heavy cream, OJ, k-cups, frozen green beans, cauliflower rice, stuffing mix, microwave rice, cake mix (the good ones were on sale), chicken broth, potato chips, and trash bags. Spent $154.95 including delivery, saved $14.50 (very low for me), tipped the delivery guy $10.
7:00 pm: After putting away all that food, what do we do? If you guessed order dinner, you’d be right! I don’t cook on Saturday unless we’re having company. We order from a new taco place – three each and “Mexican wings”. The wings were meh, but the tacos ranged from good to outstanding. $53.78 including tip. After dinner, M starts post-production of the Mass video and I do some laundry, watch the NASCAR race and the hockey game, and play games on my iPad. Remember, you’ll be old someday too!
11:00 pm: I go to the basement to pick up laundry and remember I wanted to order a new garden flag (this isn’t as random as it sounds – all my seasonal decorations are stored in the basement). I have had a cart set up for days with two garden flags ($6.99 each) and four magnetic mailbox covers for my parents for Christmas ($11.99 each) – they’ve talked about having a different one for each season, and I saw them when I was looking for a garden flag. Total with tax and free shipping: $61.94. I love Christmas and generally spend way too much on gifts so I’m trying to start shopping before December and at least spread out the pain. We went to a crafts fair a few weeks ago and I picked up a few things and now I’ve got this done – go me!!
12:30 pm: The hockey game is over (2 OT!) and I go to bed. M is napping waiting for his video production to finish.
Daily Total: $463.27
Sunday, September 27
7:00 am: The alarm goes off – ugh. It’s the first day of Religious Ed (virtual, but I have to do a 9:45 zoom with my 4th graders). Coffee, social media, shower, dress, makeup. Put on a black eyelet dress because we’re going back to church today so M can videotape First Communion. Do the usual makeup/hair thing.
10:30 am: My 4th graders are great and we’re ready to roll (M has on a shirt and tie in honor of the First Communion), and we’re off to Mass. Drop off the food I bought for our food pantry last week and help him video. Of course, the kids are adorable!
12:00 noon: We’re starving after church, so we stop at our favorite local pizza place on the way home. Get a variety of slices for $22.62, including a tip (we’re getting it to go, but I’m tipping everywhere, because I know restaurants have been hurt badly by the pandemic. These folks are in NYC and still haven’t opened inside dining.)
1:30 pm: Ate, ran more laundry, changed into the jeans I wore yesterday and a Yankees t-shirt and call the nail place. Of all my expenses, nails are probably the most non-negotiable – I’ve been getting my nails done for 40 years, and when I couldn’t do so during the lockdown, I was miserable. They can take me right away, which makes me happy.
3:00 pm: All 20 nails done – gel on the fingers and a regular pedicure with callus removal ($75 plus $15 tip = $90). I went with an autumn theme and got copper on the fingers and bronze toes – the nail polish looked in the jar like it would match the toes, but it doesn’t. Stop at CVS for eye cream (Olay for tired eyes) and mascara (L’Oreal Voluminous) - $27 with coupons. M asked me to pick up cigs on the way home, so I do, as well as vape cartridges, which I don’t technically need yet, but it will save a trip later in the week ($36).
3:30 pm: While at the nail place, I saw that one of our favorite local restaurants had a fire, which consumed an entire block of restaurants and small businesses. The Chamber of Commerce is doing a GoFundMe, and I donate $25 to the cause - $28.75 including the charge. I also notice that the weekly charge for my church donation went through ($75).
11:30 pm: Took a quick nap (the highlight of my week every week), put some fall decorations out, had our family Zoom call, laundry, got the end of the winter clothes moved upstairs, had dinner (roast chicken, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and roasted asparagus), made an apple crisp (I’m not a huge dessert person but M is and I like making desserts, so it works), watched baseball, football, the NASCAR race, and basketball, and took a quick shower. Bring a Light & Fit Toasted Coconut Vanilla yogurt (the best!) to bed, finish my book (“Next Stop, Chancey”) and find the next in the series on my iPad – I’ve read them all before, but I’m in the mood for something cozy, especially after reading about the Current Occupant’s taxes – ugh!) , and turn off the lights around midnight.
Daily Total: $279.37
Monday, September 28
6:45 am: I work from home M/W/F and so I can sleep in. Relatively speaking, anyway. Get dressed in a sleeveless top and shorts (despite the fall decorations, fall nails, and roast chicken/apple crisp, it feels rather summery out there), do makeup, have some coffee and scroll through emails/socials, move yet another load of laundry (I’m trying to get it all done before the plumber comes), find the number for the plumber and give it to M to call, get the trash out, and boil some eggs for breakfast this week. I’m sitting in front of the computer by 8:15, which is ok (technically, my hours are 8:30-5:30 – it’s usually more like 8:30-6:00, and on WFH days, starting at 7:30 is not unheard of). M drops off the car at the shop – I think I forgot to mention this, but he mentioned yesterday that when he was driving around Saturday, there was a grinding noise when he backed up. More joy to come, I’m sure.
9:45 am: I hear M on the phone with the garage – apparently, they can get a used part and do the job for $450. Not great, but it’s better than it might have been! He works from home basically every day except when he has to see customers, but thankfully we’re separated enough that we can hear each other but it’s not intrusive.
10:30 am: Between cursing at people on the phone, M calls the plumber and I grab some cheese and more coffee! I’d tell you about my job, but honestly, it’s not worth talking about. Basically, I go to meetings, take notes on meetings, and send follow-ups (I do other things, but that’s most of it). When I get off my 11:00 am meeting, I’ll find out when the plumber is coming. You guys are getting a much more exciting week than I expected!
12:30 pm: What a miserable day – it seems like everyone is annoyed! Take a break to eat a slice of leftover pizza and a Diet Coke (M finishes some rotisserie chicken from last week). He says the plumber may come today to look at the situation but can’t do the work till tomorrow.
6:00 pm: Keep my head down and get some work done in the afternoon and knock off for the day. Run downstairs and make dinner – “tacos” with strips of beef grilled with Korean barbecue sauce, shredded cabbage, cheddar cheese, pineapple salsa, cucumber slices, and lime inside warmed tortillas. Delicious, if I say so myself!
7:30 pm: I get on a Zoom faith sharing meeting and M gets on a Zoom religious ed class.
11:59 pm: Contemplated Sunday’s Gospel with my small group, watched Tampa Bay win the Stanley Cup, took a shower and set clothes out for tomorrow, and off to bed. M picked up the car after Religious Ed.
Daily Total: $450.00
Tuesday, September 29
5:45 am: Ugh. Up and out – I’m wearing a green dress with a black jacket and have black slingbacks in my bag. I have to walk 30 short blocks and five long blocks once I get off the train, so I’m traveling light. I used to take the subway to my office, but since COVID, I try to limit that as much as possible.
7:45 am: Off the railroad and walk uptown. I actually don’t mind the walk, because when I WFH, I walk very little – at the beginning of the lockdown, I had a nice walking routine, but lately the work seems to start the minute I wake up, so walking to work takes care of getting in those STEPS! I forgot my boiled eggs and I’m starving, so I end up buying an egg sandwich. $5.43
12:30 pm: Because I only go to the city twice a week and I have to walk uptown with all my work stuff, I don’t bring lunch often (pre-pandemic, I used to bring breakfast and lunch every day, but I also took the subway). Decide to run to Pret and my boss and co-worker both ask me to pick something up. Of course, no one (including me) has anything but a $20, so they both say they’ll get me next time. I get my favorite chicken parm wrap and a Diet Coke. $32
12:45 pm: I look at my personal email and discover that J’s car registration needs to be renewed. Hop on the DMV website and take care of that. $158.50. I also realize I never took out the sausages for tonight’s dinner and call M to ask him to do so. He mentions the plumber has still not shown up.
5:45 pm: Leave a little early to get to the Fed Ex office and make my train home. I’m a little later than I’d like to be and it’s raining, so I get the subway, which is thankfully empty, reasonably clean, and quick. $2.75
7:15 pm: M picks me up at the train station and mentions that he was so busy working that he didn’t take the sausages out. He asks me what I want to eat and we end up at Wendy’s. Cheeseburger, fries, and (surprise, surprise) a Diet Coke. He gets the same thing, but bigger. $19.75
11:30 pm: Avoid the debate by watching the Yankees pound the Indians. Usual routine (plus ironing a shirt for J, because he has to go to a customer tomorrow) and off to sleep. I’m up to Book 3 in the Chancey series, for those keeping score.
Daily Total: $218.43
Wednesday, September 29
5:30 am: Double ugh. Woke up to use the bathroom and couldn’t get back to sleep, so here we are. Get dressed (long-sleeved Yankees t-shirt, straight leg jeans), do the face, have some coffee, and try to avoid the fact that my boss sent me an email at 11:00 pm last night looking for changes to a document, which I said I would do today. Get the trash out, pick up a little around the house, and get to work by 7:00. OH, and despite the lack of plumber and his lack of general motivation, M moved the plastic closet…in front of the washing machine! Glad I bought him underwear, because I won’t be doing laundry any time soon. Now I’m wondering if he looked at the menu (I am an obsessive meal planner and post it on the fridge weekly) and that’s why he didn’t take the sausages out – he’s avoiding zoodles! He can run but he can’t hide – I have zucchini and I’m going to spiralize it sooner or later!
8:00 am: The document my boss needed is out, the agenda for our 9:00 am meeting is done, the morning emails are sorted (for now), and I got a link to our parish survey up on the Facebook page, so I make an egg and cheese on a tortilla and eat at my desk.
12:50 pm: Wednesday is conference call hell – I have recurring calls every Wednesday at 9:00, 10:30, and 11:30, and the added fun today of a 10:00. There’s also a webinar every Wednesday that I try to tune into. Grab some chips and a Diet Coke and go check it out.
2:15 pm: Still no damn plumber, but I’ll let M worry about that when he’s home tomorrow. My garden flags arrived, so that’s good. Hoping to get out and put the pumpkin one out before it gets dark, but the way today is going, that might not actually happen. However, I realize I never put dinner in the crockpot. Luckily, it only takes 3-4 hours on high, so I take care of that. It’s Tuscan Chicken with sun-dried tomatoes and spinach. By 2:30, I’m back at my desk with another Diet Coke and hard at it. Nightmares of rescheduling meetings, missing documents, etc.
6:45 pm: Still at my desk! OK, I took some time to send an email to the parish webmaster about the survey, update this, and read the R29 money diary of the day. But overall, I’ve been working with no apparent end in sight – I could easily be here all night, but I won’t be because (a) I’m falling asleep at my desk and (b) I have a 7:30 Religious Ed teachers meeting. Hopefully I won’t fall asleep during that. Make a list of things for my boss and I to review tomorrow and finish prepping dinner.
7:15 pm: Dinner was delicious – we had the chicken with rice for M and cauliflower rice for me, sautéed broccoli, and a basic salad (bagged spring mix, cherry tomatoes, cucumber). Now off to Zoom!
11:45 pm: The Yankees game is still on, but I’m showered, my clothes are set out for tomorrow, and I’m fading. Turn off the light and hope for a win.
Daily Total: $0.00 (bet you didn’t see that coming!)
Thursday, October 1
5:45 am: You know it…ugh. Get up, coffee, very quick scroll through the Yankees score/e-mail/social media. Get dressed in a black v-neck sweater, black and gray plaid skirt, and black jacket (not the same one I wore the other day). Am grateful the skirt fits – I gained some weight and am trying to resist buying clothes. Make sure I have the right shoes in my bag – I’m wearing high-heeled gray suede Mary Janes today.
8:15 am: At my desk and ready to go – I remembered to bring 2 hard-boiled eggs today, which I eat with coffee while looking through emails.
12:30 pm: Call after call after call, but I have a half-hour to eat. Run to the fancy buffet place that just re-opened for 2 meatballs, brussels sprouts, broccoli, salad, and the inevitable Diet Coke ($15.75). Manage to eat before my 1:00 pm call – go me!
3:30 pm: Leave to go to a job site and pick something up that has to be shipped to Italy. Something that's almost as tall as me, but thankfully not heavy. Taxi down there because I’m in a hurry and I can get reimbursed ($14.04, including tip), expensed.
4:00 pm: I get a cab to the Fed Ex office – thankfully the first one I see is a minivan, so I fit in just fine ($12.74, including tip), expensed.
5:30 pm: Well, that was harder than it needed to be – the Fed Ex office I went to didn’t have a box that would fit the item, so they suggested another Fed Ex office about 6 blocks away, so I had to walk through midtown Manhattan carrying an object almost as tall as me (it's 5' long and I'm 5'3" tall) while dodging oblivious people. Thankfully, the other office had my box, and they were super-sweet and helpful, but it took them forever to get it done. Bought the box and bubble wrap, which will be expensed (I brought the Fed Ex label, but I don’t remember the account number) ($43.54). Get a nice early train home, though!
6:45 pm: Wow, we’re eating when I’m usually getting the train! Cheeseburgers, tots (tater for J, cauliflower for me), green beans, and vinegar coleslaw with the end of the shredded cabbage. Get the kitchen cleaned and the dishwasher run and settle in to watch the Jets – I’m not holding out much hope, but you never know!
11:30 pm: I’ve showered, set out clothes for me and M (he’s seeing customers tomorrow), I prepped for Youth Group, which I’m leading because he’ll be working, and the Jets are winning, so I decide it’s time to sleep. Up to Book 5 of the Chancey series. I find series usually go downhill after about the third or fourth book, but I’m not sure what I feel like reading, so here we are. OH, at some point M must have gone to the convenience store, because there are vape cartridges on the table ($36).
Daily Total: $122.07; $70.32 expensed
Friday, October 02, 2020
6:00 am: Wake up, grab coffee, find out the Jets lost after all, do the morning e-mail/social media scroll. Leaving early to deal with that work errand has left me with a ton of stuff to do, so I get dressed (long-sleeved v-neck gray t-shirt, white tank because the v-neck is halfway to my belly button, dark wash skinny jeans), put out the trash, peel two hard-boiled eggs, and head to my desk.
12:30 pm: As always, call after call after call. Plus a bit of aggravation when my boss asks me at 10:30 for an agenda for the 11:00 call, which I sent him at about 7:30, and which he returns at 10:59 with the formatting looking like nothing on earth. Yay whee! And a project was mentioned that he forgot to tell me I’d do. So in case I thought I’d have nothing to do (that never happens on Fridays), that’s not happening. Anyway, between calls, I run downstairs for the lunch of champions – a Hot Pocket and a Diet Coke. Just that kind of day.
6:15 pm: Realize I have to run Youth Group at 7 and I haven’t even done my haimakeup. Get that done, heat up some frozen cauliflower rice/broccoli/cheese combination and add some leftover chicken. With a green salad on the side, surprisingly yummy.
8:15 pm: I am not a good youth leader…couldn’t get anyone talking about the subject of the day, which I thought would be a good one. I did make them laugh a few times, so that’s something.
M is going to have some expenses because he went to see customers today, but I don’t know what they are and his company will reimburse him, so I’m just leaving them out.
Daily Total: $0.00
This is the Week That Was:
Food + Drink: $326.06
Fun / Entertainment: $108 (if people can put drugs in as entertainment, I’m putting our nicotine in)
Home + Health: $61.94
Clothes + Beauty: $165.64
Transport: $638.03 (some of it will be expensed)
Other: $234.47
Lastly, reflect on your diary! How do you feel about your spending? Was this a normal week for you? Has this inspired you to make changes or has it given you a “wow I’m doing pretty good” confidence boost? Is there anything you’re actively working on? No need to answer any or all these questions but just use this space to write any thoughts you have!
This was a fairly normal week except for the car breaking and needing to be registered – we're saving some now that we WFH more because M will not bring food from home, but I used to bring breakfast and lunch at least four days a week. I know we should make changes, but I also know we don’t want to – honestly, if you looked at the way I lived 15 years ago, I’ve made a lot of changes already. We’re working on the credit cards – I’ve gotten rid of several already (paid off, not just moved balances around) and we don’t use them at all anymore (I can honestly say I don’t remember the last thing I charged). The bad news is that M’s car is on its last legs, and so I see car payments in our future. Hopefully, he’ll get something used – we have my car when we want to look good going somewhere (mine isn’t super-fancy, it just wasn’t hit by a bus and full of stuff for his job).
OH, and the plumber still hasn’t shown up! But that will be for next week’s expenses.