The Ville Resort – Casino in Townsville | Best Hotel in

I am from Hong Kong. I don’t know if it’s regret that I’m feeling towards doing a working holiday here in Australia. I like traveling. I use Couchsurfing a lot in the past. From the year 2012 when I started a pre college degree and then 2013-2017 for my college degree, I’d been traveling every summer, so with the six times I traveled, one time is 2months in Europe, other 3times 2.5-3.5months in Europe, 1 time Australia+NZ(3months), 1 time US+Europe(3months). This March I turned 25. I worked at a commission based sales job in Hongkong that I really don’t like. I decided to apply for working holidays and I came to the East Coast first where I stayed with a homestay mom that I know from 3years back in Brisbane. I didn’t try hard to look for jobs in the first month(May). I proceeded to go to Airlie Beach, Townsville and eventually Cairns (July) where i got my first job as a hostel manager at the lowest rating hostel (you can easily look that up on booking,com) because my ex boss is Chinese and I am also Hong Kong Chinese hence I got the job. From then on, it was a month of craziness because he taught me all this stuff for four days and afterwards, he proceeded to leave the country to go on vacation with his wife and his kid. And I held the fort for the next ten days. All the while he was annoying and he loves barking orders at me and I held it in cuz at first I thought I knew how to handle him but when he came back all hell broke loose cuz I felt he was unappreciative and he nit picked everything that I did wrong and he also loved making unrealistic demands like after the backpackers cleaned the bathrooms he wanted me to take pictures of all the cleaned bathrooms on a daily basis. I don’t have the best emotional intelligence in the world and I became really nasty to him as he was like the same to me. I left without notice in early August after one month and left for Melbourne. I arrived here and I felt super lonely. It was really cold at that time and I couldn’t make the same relationships with people that I made back when I was in Cairns at the hostel with for example some girls from mainland China which is pretty ironical because if anyone of you knows, Hong Kong people generally dont really have the best affinity with mainland China as culturally we don’t experience the same things in terms of social dynamics, languages, currency, law, etc. But I met a bunch of really great friends in Cairns in contrast to a much more different vibe in Melbourne. And after three or four days of staying in Melbourne, I don’t know what drew me in but I went to the casino, this is when all things good started to decline. I basically lost all the money I made back in Cairns as well as the cash I held at the time. I am also a person with chronic illness with my neck since November 2011, I started using a Southeast Asian herb called kratom that has helped me deal with the my extreme and underdiagnosed calcifications around my neck since Jan 2018 and while I have had much better sleep and am able to function better during the day, I feel pretty reliant on it and I shouldn’t do that because it has addictive substance and maybe it’s because of the dehydration caused by kratom or other factors, I have become pretty antisocial but I gotta say, I also feel like being from Hong Kong and coming to Australia, I don’t know if I should say it’s a mismatch, I feel like I am not a particularly interesting person and I feel like there are big Asian communities out here already that in the eyes of many people, I am not interesting to talk to and I don’t stand out, as opposed to other times when I traveled around Europe, particularly I enjoyed visiting the poorer and less developed underdog Eastern European countries, I felt like from the standpoint of cultural exchange, I am in a happier place. Back to being in Melbourne, I have had two jobs here. One is event setup and packdown such as concerts and the other job I had was a cleaning technician project at a government building. The last work day is probably two weeks ago.. and last week I posted an ad on Gumtree and somebody contacted me about a farmwork opportunity at a dairy farm 7 hours away from Melbourne by public transport (as I don’t have drive and don’t have a car) near the Great Ocean Road. I jumped at the chance but immediately after four days of cow milking shifts (2 shifts a day) I had to go because it was not a good fit for me. My hands felt arthritic still from the job because I washed my hands a lot when the cows’ fecal matter touched my arms. I just couldn’t do it. I don’t regret trying that though and then I decided to come back to Melbourne on Xmas Eve and for the past few days I have felt a sense of loneliness I couldn’t shake out. I don’t like partying and going out for drinks after I have started using and needing kratom. I am feeling reflective about my gambling addiction that I stopped in late November as I banned myself from the casino (I lost everything - around 15000 AUD and this amount did not include any earnings I have received after I started working holidays in Australia it’s my previous savings, I feel lonely also because I don’t feel interested to talk much to a lot of people these days except maybe for talking to a few friends on Facebook messenger which I think is also caused by kratom.right now I just feel bored and empty. I saw tickets to go back home that are cheap relatively in early Jan. I am also thinking of going to Adelaide just to check the city out as a person that I met previously on a roadtrip thru couchsurfing road trip event is gonna drive to Adelaide on the 4th. I am thinking of going back to Brisbane to stay with my previous homestay and try to look for work there in hospitality. But right now I just don’t feel any motivation to look for work in Melbourne. I just feel contemplative and don’t know if I can regret coming here for working holidays. I don’t feel like I have changed much as a person. There are a few life lessons I have learnt with gambling but I don’t know what else I have achieved here. What can I do?